Would you put your teenage daughter

Michelle - posted on 01/24/2009

OK, my two cents.. Have you heard of the shot? it is once every 4 months. It helps with the cramps, moodiness, acne and getting pregnant. Also, give her a makeup bag with condoms in it. Continue to teach her that she has the choice to not have sex, that it is the best choice. But occassionally, humaness takes over even the most honorably intentioned teen.

Koryn - posted on 01/20/2009

No. I was on them for 13 years and have breast cancer to show for it. My surgeon said they have their place in a woman's life but never for more than 5 years and only to space your children. He sees women all the time ending up with breast cancer because they took long term birth control pills or hormone replacement therapies. By the way, it says it right there in the packette that comes inside the birth control pills "Has been known to cause breast cancer in young women with long term use". I was stunned when I read that. I lost one breast because of it. The best thing you could give your teenage daughter is the self confidence and self esteem to know she is valuable and worth saving herself for marriage. That is her best form of birth control in her teen age years.

Shelly - posted on 01/20/2009

It comes down to a trust issue .  Do you think your daughter is having sex, and have you taught your daughter morals?  Have you talk to her about how valuable her virginity is that it is the only thing that she can give her husband that no one else will ever have.  And have you had this discussion with the Lord???  Only you and him can make this decission not us

Pati - posted on 01/20/2009

HI

When My daughter started her period I took her to the gynecologist and we talked about her going on the pill as she got older and her periods became more regular. I wanted her body to adjust to the change on its own. Then as the cramps and symptoms started we went back and put her on a low dose. She has adjusted to these and had to increase the strength over the last year. I wanted her to be used to taking it every day before she entered into a relationship that could lead to sex. I also wanted her body to be used to it. This year she has to call in her own refills as that too is important. Before she leaves to college, she will be going to the pharmacy and picking them up on her own as well. She keeps them by her toothbrush and takes it when she brushes in the morning. This has turned out to be the best time for her with no side effects like nausea. She was always more interested in cheer until last year she got the biggest crush on a senior football player. They are bf/gf now, he is in college this year so they are at different schools and they are very attached, I really like this boy and his family and I have talked with his mom by phone, she lives in another state, and have sat with his dad and discussed this relationship our kids have started. We both feel the same way, that the longer they wait the better, but take all precautions. He knows my daughter is on the pill I know he has given condoms to and had some interesting talks with his son about there use. I have also done this with my daughter.  And I believe the kids will use both if and when they have sex.  I also know that she will come and tell me when it happens I just don’t know how I will take that news.

Annette - posted on 01/20/2009

hi kiha in answer to ur question my 14 now 15 yr old remembers her pill on her own and my 15 now 16 yr old i have to remind every day but they both get them every day  and it alo has hhelped with heavy periods wich have now started to come lighter and the tummy cramps have calmed down

Lori - posted on 01/20/2009

Quoting Keisha:

Ladies that teens are on the pill. Do you remind them to take it or how do they remember??

My daughter wears contact lenses that she takes out every night.  Her pill pack is next to her contact lense case - one thing follows the other, every night.  I think she's only skipped one pill in 18 months..... works for her, she is very responsible anyway!

Lori - posted on 01/20/2009

I have one on (17) and one not on (14). The decision was based on helping to manage their cycles. Neither one is sexually active nor intend to be anytime soon - but I will admit that I am more comfortable sending my 17 year old off to college soon knowing that she is somewhat protected if she makes a different decision.......

It's one of the tough issues. Alot depends on your values, and what you've tried to teach them, but alot also depends on the values they are adopting for THEMSELVES - over which you have no control.

One good thing about the pill - it forces them to pay closer attention to the well-being of their bodies. Our OB-GYN will only write a six month script, so my daughter is forced to see her twice a year - and is very comfortable with her, so may discuss things that she wouldn't want to discuss with me.

My 14-yr-old was given the option to help with her heavy bleeding/cramping - she has miserable cycles. But she is also needle-phobic, and declined the option since it requires repeated bloodwork. (I'm sure she'll get over her phobia at some point, so I'm not pushing....) This is the more conservative of my two daughters anyway - and the promise ring on her finger signifies her committment TO HERSELF not to become sexually active before she gets married.

Don't be scared - just love and stay involved in your daughter's life, and hope that she will make good choices!! Luck to you!

Tammy - posted on 01/20/2009

Hi Keisha

I was a mum at 16 and i wish i had been able to ask my mum to get me birth control. As it was i used a condom thinking it would be safe and it wasnt i was very unlucky and got pregnant the first time i had sex. I dont think it would have made a difference to me if i had had it i wouldnt have felt any more eager to have sex then without it. Better to be safe than sorry :)

Keisha - posted on 11/17/2008

JMO... u have to set time limits or they will move to fast. let your daughter know that you want her to slow down. I would talk to the other parent too and hopefully they see the things the way you do. Start there. I dont think your being a hypocrite by saying dont do it but here is birth control. Maybe talk to a planned parenthood advisor on the subject so that you take the right approach. because she's a christian doesnt make her perfect and what i mean we all make mistakes and if she was to do it she will know how to protect herself.. not just from pregnancy but talk to her about std's too. My daughter didnt know where they sold condoms. Im glad at 13 but what if i never asked her and told her... i feel like informing a child and giving them as much info as u can is the right thing to do...

Sheila - posted on 11/16/2008

Shannon,

I have posted my views here, but at the end of the day we each have to do what we believe is right for our own child. My effort to be "consistent" by refusing birth control to my daughters may someday come back to haunt me. There are no absolutes in life, and God doesn't promise us any.

I don't even know to begin to address the obsession issue, unless you take baby steps to start limiting the time they spend together. Coming in with harsh limits all of a sudden would have the opposite effect, I would imagine, as would continually trying to have heavy duty "talks" with her about the situation. (Although you HAVE to talk to her about it a little bit! Maybe "mini-talks"?)

Good luck, and God bless!

Erin - posted on 11/16/2008

Shannon, when you figure out how to deal with the obssesion, let me know ok?

My 13 year-old son has the same thing going on with his girlfriend. They are both christians and attend each other's youth groups (we go to different baptist churches), they see each other at school, talk on the phone as soon as they can, she calls every night before she has to turn off her cell phone for the night.

The one good thing is I have no more problem talking to her about where the boundries need to be set than I do with my son, and he and I are close. I think that is important. We need to instill in our teens that anyone they date needs to respect us and our wishes as much as they do. If we can have good, open discussions with our teens boyfriends/girlfriends, then this would not be such an issue. I have one daughter who is 9, and is already developing, so I am afraid she will have her period early. I am not ready to put her on birth control for cramps at the age of 10 or 11. They have other things that can be taken for that. I personally got ill from taking the pill, not matter how many times they changed the dose.

I am not trying to get "on my high horse", but I think that kids now have way too much freedom and we really need to not give them so many opportunities to do these things. We also need to make an effort to know the parents of the kids our children date. Easy for me because I live in a town with one high school, but even if we were in a big city, I would make that effort. I want to know that my teenage son is not going to be left alone with his girlfriend, or in the care of some older sibling who doesn't care what they do. I don;t want to be a young grandmother, but I will say up front that if any of my children were to be on thei way to teen parenthood I would be right there for them, helping them to support that child while finishing school, even if that meant letting their teenage girlfriend move in with us, but no into their bedroom.

Christie - posted on 11/15/2008

Shannon first of all you are never a hypocrite for protecting your child. regardless of what the elders say. You are the one that is living this life with this child and no one else can attempt to judge. (Ecspecially since many of our Christian brothers and sisters are quick to judge forgetting that God is the ultimate judge. In turn makes them the hypocrite.) It's again all about communication. I know I was raised in the perfect well structured christian home with a cop dad and yet I wasn't the perfect child my parents thought I should be. if we as mothers can remember the pressures of our teen years and fast forward that a hundred times into this generation of teen life we can possibly empathise with our kids and do what is best for them individually. My kids have never been a stranger to this world and to keep them sheltered only harbors later wilder experimentations and experiences. Please remember that teens often forget all the great raising we feel we have given them up until and they will make their own decisions. It is our job as parents to never stop protecting them from their childish endevours. Communicating the reality is always the best choice. Good luck with your choice and God bless.

Shannon - posted on 11/15/2008

Okay ladies, I have read all 53 posts and I don't know if I feel any better about either choice. My daughter is 14, she is a straight A student, cheer captain and has an awsome relationship with Jesus. She is responsible and overall a wonderful child who has never given me much greif. She has never dated before always saying, "my grades and cheer are too important and boys would just distract me." She has her college/life plans written out and posted on her bedroom wall!



HOWEVER, she started dating a boy from church a few months ago and they are OBSESSED with each other. They are on the phone from the time she wakes up until she goes to bed. We have to take the phone away at bedtime because they were staying up all night talking. They cry when they have to leave each other or when we make her get off the phone. We have know him since they were 5 and we love him, but it's getting to be a bit much!

I had her when I was 17 and she sees how much we have struggled and we have have had many many many talks about sex. Not just the physical side of it but the emotional as well. I thought I was comfortable with not putting her on birth control, but now I am worried about her and and this boy.



So after all that, here are my questions:

1. do I look like a hipocrite saying "don't have sex, but if you do, here is birth control"

2. Have any doctors said anything about long term fertility issues when they are on the pill for years? My sister can't get pregnant and her dr. told her it could be becasue she was on the pill for so many years.

3. on a bit of a seperate subject, what do I do about this obsession they seem to have with each other? Is that normal? I don't remember doing that as a teen.



This subject seems to have ignited strong feeling on both sides of the issue. I know we just want to protect our babies and for them to have the best life possible. It's so much harder today.

Danielle - posted on 11/14/2008

My husband and I thought about this a lot. On one hand you don't want to give them the idea that going out and having sex willy nilly is okay because she's on the pill, but at the same time if something 'happens' you don't want a baby either. That choice was kind of made for us with our 17 year old who ended up in the E.R. with horrible ovarian cysts. We thought her appendix was rupturing. The doc said putting her on the pill would ease those so on the pill she went and she hasn't had any problems with the cysts since.



Our doctor told her, though, that being on the pill might protect her from pregnancy, but because it changes the lining of the vagina and cervix, it makes it easier to contract an STD. The pill does not protect you from any kind of STD. So she doesn't get pregnant but she could get HIV or any other nasty that her partner is passing along.



Chris is a very devout Christian young woman and has no intention of having sex before she's married. She's very determined to wait and I'm so proud of her.

Roseanna - posted on 11/13/2008

My daughter is 16 and I just started her on BC pills. She's had bad cramping and long heavy periods for some time now. I told her this is not a "go ahead and have sex now pill" it's a help your periods pill. I do feel very relieved tho that she's on them now that she's dating. I was a teen mom myself and wouldn't wish that on any of my kids. I tell both of my girls to learn from me and how tough my life was and all the fun things I missed out on being hame with a baby when I was just a babe myself. I've also discussed using condoms when the time comes so she doesn't get diseases.

Keisha - posted on 11/12/2008

Christie, thank you so much!!! and Michelle great idea!!!

Christie - posted on 11/12/2008

Oh and of course you will have to remind her at first but it will eventually become a habit for her.....And I want to add...I definately don't think that putting your daughter on the pill gives her permission to have sex. Ladies, we are all human and we all have a inner voice and no matter how much we as parents try to control our daughters' sexual experiences, our daughters will choose for themselves when the time comes for them. Some of the worst kids have the parents with the best intentions. It's not about us anymore at this age, it's about them.. sad but true... It is our job as parents to keep them safe regardlessof the childlike careless decisions they will make. And I am speaking of birth control and condoms. They go together always....

Christie - posted on 11/12/2008

I would make it a routine. Just the same as when you may take your bc or vitamins or whatever. After breakfast, after shower, after dinner, etc... Something that she does at the same time everyday... I don't think it matters the time it just matters that it's the same time everyday....

Michelle - posted on 11/12/2008

My daughter sets her cell phone alarm to remind her every night.

Keisha - posted on 11/12/2008

Ladies that teens are on the pill. Do you remind them to take it or how do they remember??

Annette - posted on 11/12/2008

keisha my oldest is on the pill and im considering puting my 14yr old on it as wll we have discussed it from the time they startd sex ed and i think provention is a better idar iv also talked with them about stds and have sed to them the pill may stop u getting pregnant but wont stopp the stds so id us both which like i sed in my last post my girls are virgins but i have been very honest with them about things and we hav dessusions about sex and stds regualy

Keisha - posted on 11/12/2008

Angela, no problem sweety. if your not comfortable.. u should schedule a meeting with your daughter and a planned parenthood counseling or maybe go by yourself to learn how to talk to her.. Please dont be afraid to talk to her and educate her. she needs to know everything... what sex is. not just one on one but oral, anal and hand jobs.. a lot of teens parents talk to them and they dont tell them everything that falls under sex... your kids need to know about std's. they teach them in school but i also talk to my daughter about it as well. i show her pictures of disease online. i tell her all the way you can contract them.



I asked my daughter the other day if she knew how to get a condom and she said no.. That shocked me because even though I dont think she's having sex but she wouldnt even know where to buy contraceptives.... Of course I want her to wait but I also had to let her know where they sell them at.. so if she doesnt feel comfty talking to me she has another options.



Teens needs options.. and the first option is abstaining!

Keisha - posted on 11/12/2008

you say it as though a teen is capable of understanding that having sex young could ruin her life... they are children and thats why as parents we have to teach them and show them the right things to do...



alot of teen sex is not planned and they sneak around... i def think its important to discuss std's.. no one is invincable

Leni - posted on 11/12/2008

Yeah Michelle, couldn't have said it better myself!!

"Personally I don't think it's anyone's place to put a teen on prescribed meds, in case. In case what? People don't have sex by accident. Parents have a responsibility to teach their children what may happen if they have sex and what needs to be done to not only prevent pregnancy, but also stds. Then they need to trust and believe that their child is equipped to do the right thing if/when that time comes, by talkin to their parent or another adult for b/c. Bottom line the child needs to have self respect for their own body, health and well-being."

Educate her!!

Angela - posted on 11/12/2008

Thank you, Keisha, for this conversation! It's in my face that I have not talked enough to my 13 year old girl. I guess I've been in denial that kids her age are having sex... and someone made the comment that pregnancy is just part of what they need to be safe from... STD's scare the bejeebers out of me! I just wish it scared kids, but they can't see past their noses sometimes. Great conversation!

Stacy - posted on 11/12/2008

Heck yes! I see it as a lesser of 2 evils situation. Does putting a teen on bc make them think it is okay to have sex? hmmmm... maybe, but if they decide they are going to do it, it is better than a teenager trying to raise a little one.

Michelle - posted on 11/12/2008

That CAN be true Caroline but some people do not have any negative reactions to it. My daughter wanted to go on the pill because she saw the Yaz commercials and their claim that it would reduce longevity of her period, help with cramps and make her skin clear. As far as her thinking that I expect her to have sex now that she is protected from pregnancy...are you kidding? Most girls these days are intelligent enough to know that their parents do not want them to have sex. Its the boyfriends that are the problem. Keep the boyfriend relationship dialogue open and hopefully the sex thing will wait until they are adult or even better until they are married. As someone who can not take the pill I realize the adverse reactions you can have from the hormones. Fortunately, it has only helped my daughters situation so I guess I am an advocate for doing whats best for your own child! Good luck everyone with your decisions.

Caroline - posted on 11/11/2008

I would not put my daughter on the pill because it is like saying I expect her to have sex. Also the pill can have serious side affects - physical as well as mental. It can increase the risk for depression which can be huge and dangerous since teens are so moody anyway.

Brittany - posted on 11/11/2008

YES! I actually spoke to my doctor about this (she sees my 13 year-old daughter too). Our dr (female) said that it has been proven that putting your daughter on birth control does NOT increase sexual activity.

Mel - posted on 11/11/2008

i am real close to my daughter who is now 15 but a yr ago she decided it was time for sex and she told my sister 1st. i cried for 2 days she was only 14. she took herself to the doc before and went on the pill before she did it so i gotta admire her for that although i was unhappy that she was sexually active she was safe and that is all i can ask really, i may not like it but it is life so i just have to guide her through it and stand by her. i have always been open about sex and bodies and she has a good step mum to turn to as well. the main thing is letting ur child no they can turn to u no matter what then u can deal with anything, if u r too strict they will rebel try to work with them and yes it is hard but keep up communication without interrigation. i feel putting your child on the pill as soon as they start to bleed only encourages more questions go with the flow and deal with things as they come along. yes i understand you want to protect them but remember they are innocent and we need to keep them as children as long as we can !! it is a difficult subject that we will never agree on but my daughter and i are really close now because i talked to her and did not over react !!

Michelle - posted on 11/11/2008

Amen Kaya!

Kaya - posted on 11/11/2008

My daughter is only 11 and I have been trying to set the stage for open communication for a long time now. This past year her body started to change and we sat down with my books (I'm a childbirth educator) and explained how her body works. Also, when something comes up on TV I take the opportunity to express my feelings about relationships, sex etc. Because I know that she may not always tell me everything as she gets older, the main message I have tried to get across is that sex is a sacred event and has dire consequences: pregnancy, disease, profound effects on the relationship. Having sex is a decision to make when you are ready and capable to deal with those possible outcomes. With my 15yo boy, I have tried not to teach that teenage sex is wrong but very serious and potentially dangerous.



I have tried to teach both my children to respect themselves and NEVER do anything thay are not completely comfortable with or to do anything with anyone they do not completely trust, love and RESPECTS THEM. This includes hanging out, doing drugs, staying out late, etc. I know I can't control Their or their choices as they get older. But I hope that if they are strong in themselves and make their decisions from a place of respecting themseles and their bodies, then hopefully they will make smart decisions, keep themselves safe and be able to look back on their first time as a magical and sacred experience.



As to going on the pill I think it can be a smart choice. I think Sarah Palin's daughter is a perfect example of how having a family value of abstinence OFTEN fails. It can be heartbreaking to find out that your teen is having sex before you think it is appropriate. But having a baby so young can potential ruin many lives, not the least of which is the baby's. Don't get me wrong, I am not bashing teen moms or their families that help raise a baby but I think we can all agree that a baby born to mature, stable parents has much more opportunities for a safe, successful and happy life.

Annette - posted on 11/11/2008

i have two ten age daughtrs on 15 going on 16 and the other is 14 going on 15 i took my oldest to see the dr last week and she is now on the pill i thought i was doing th wrong thing at first but the nurse she saw said that it was good to see a girl of her age acting responsably even though she is still a virgin so when my other daughter is the same age i will be doing the same id rather her be on the pill and not a teen age mum

Dusty - posted on 11/11/2008

Keisha - I'm really glad you posted this question. I have a 13-year old (seemingly very innocent) daughter and I've been wondering if I should do the same thing. I had my 13-year old when I was 17, so I actually have an overwhelming sense of fear about her getting pregnant.



With that said - Sheila Stout's response really made me think. I don't want to condone her having sex and I don't want to take any of her innocence away or her decision-making away. I talk to her often about this and I think she knows my position and understands how real the possibility is if you start have sex - also I agree, kids/teenagers and even some adults forget about the STD factor just because the pregnancy factor is seemingly taken care of.



I think I will continue to talk to her about sex and the risks on a frequent basis, keep her busy with sports and family and be there for her when she needs me. If she comes to me with questions about birth control, I will address them with her and help her make decisions instead of making this one for her.

Michelle - posted on 11/11/2008

Chaka...sounds like you got it down pat! Seriously, everyone knows their child best so do whats best for your kid! I LOVE not dealing with the moods every month (her moods...mine are still bad lol) and she loves having short periods. My daughter is pretty and I know that boys will/do try but she is a really tough cookie and I know that she will make the best decision. She has goals that mean a lot more to her and college is the first...hard to do that and take care of a baby.

Nancy - posted on 11/11/2008

Yes, I did. When my daughter was 15 and running with the wrong crowd at school. She turned her life around, was going to Cosmetology school. She was not on the pill as she "wasn't serious" with anyone. She is now 19. Seven months ago, she came home from school and told me that she was pregnant. She said that they used a condom.

She is still with the baby's daddy, and I am very hopeful that they will eventually get married.

Christie - posted on 11/10/2008

Ok.I must respond. I have a 14 yo step-daughter. I have always been very open with her about her body, boys, and sex. I told her if she ever felt like she wanted to have sex to talk to me and I would get her on the pill and the other protection necessary. This of course after we had a very detailed conversation about her body and sex using my college human sexuality text book. Anyways, she came to me before she did anything. She had been with this boy for a few months and they were going to have sex regardless. I was just proud of her for coming to me. Well, her father was furious. He said no way was his 13 (at the time) year old daughter going to be on the pill. I of course said, "It's better to have her 13 and on the pill than 13 and pregnant." Needless to day she did not get on the pill. Now, 7 months later, she is pregnant. She is facing the hard and life changing decisions that could have very well been prevented and she tried to be responsible about it. I say first and foremomst communicaition is the key here. With that being said, get her on the pill because sex usually isn't planned in time for the kid to ask her mom for the pill.

Chaka - posted on 11/10/2008

My daughter will be 14 next month and as a teen mother myself, I vowed to never forget my mentality when the hormones were raging. At 14 I think that my daughter is a tad bit less experienced than I was at her age. After a pregnancy in middle school, my mother took me to get on birth control and the doctor questioned why I needed to go on birth control. It wasn't his decision, but he felt he had a say he didn't agree. Needless to say, I had my daughter at age 16.



My daughter and I began having the sex talk as early as 5, starting with where babies come from in the beginning now to the emotional maturity required to have a sexual relationship. Even still, I don't believe that she is completely open with me. I believe that she is still a virgin (intercepted IM) but I am more than ready to put her on the pill the moment I even think sex is heavy on her agenda. I actually considered putting her on the after the very first menstruation, but thought that I would let her bring it up. I don't want to punish her for my bad mistakes.



As a christian woman, I am torn between biblical values and the reality of human nature. She knows that God ordains us to keep our bodies until marriage, but the reality is, that I have not been the best role model and neither have nearly 70 family members. As a mother, I am responsible for providing my child with all the values and information that she needs to make sound decisions. I would be a fool to ignore the signs or deny her contraception if she displayed an interest.



Until that time, I continue to keep her covered in prayer that the Lord will continue to protect her in this present day and age.

Robin - posted on 11/10/2008

I would and have put my 17 year old daughter on "the pill" first as help because she would have very bad periods,which the pill did help and then when she was with her boyfriend of 2 years they decided to have sex so she was protected-I got pregnant with her at age 19 so I was all for protection but its the comunication between her and I that was the best protection.

Mary - posted on 11/10/2008

Also i do go to church and i taught C.C.D when I was in highschool I taught 2nd grade i got pregnant with my son I was luckier thn most I married my husband whom I am still with, thank god.. But anyway no mater how you are brought up there is always that change that you are going to find the love of ur life and you decide to do thigs before ur married and then comes the baby.. Or some Jerk decides that he wants you no matter what and he takes you no matter.. that happen to me too.. Things happen and the way the world is kids fall in love quick or some sick son of a bitch is out therejust wants her, ur poor daughter, i wouldnt want my daughter to have to deal with a pregancey from some jerk who just wanted her.... I want both my kids to be perpared!!

Mary - posted on 11/10/2008

sorry to inturupted this coversation, But i hava a 12 year old daughter and i was wondering the same thing?? My husbnd and i talked about it and wondered how or when to do it?? But is it true the pill helps with cramps??? my daughter has not started yet but she is going through the uncomfortable stage from here and there she gets cramps in the stomach area so i know it is got to be comming.. So the Birht control pills help with crampping?? Now what about the shot?? I dont now withc direction to trun??

Michelle - posted on 11/10/2008

I know my daughter won't get aids, stds or pregnant while on the pill...she is a virgin! I also know that she doesn't have to suffer needlessly every month because Yaz helps her with those issues. But in case she has a lapse in judgment will be pill help at all? Yes! I am also a Christian but I guess my horse just isn't as high as some of you. Good luck Keisha with your decision...it is an important one!

Sonja - posted on 11/10/2008

I am with Sheila and Lori, I have a son 24 and one almost 14. We are a christian family. I was a teen mom, very hard. I have always been open and honest with our kids, God did not get ahold of my life until later, I wish it had been earlier. My oldest son just got married about 3 weeks ago, he waited, he is very glad he waited. They informed us yesterday that they conceived on their honeymoon. It is still going to be a long road for them, but they waited and knew the consequences. I would not put a daughter on birth control myself. Teach abstinence instead. Stay close to her. Try to teach her to prevent herself from being put in a situation where it could be an issue until she is married.

Mary - posted on 11/10/2008

I don't understand why you all think that being on birth control meds is the same as "being protected". So you have "protected" them from the natural consequence of sex, a baby. What about the unnatural consequence of sex with only the pill as "protection"? How would you feel if your "protected" child came home without a baby, but with AIDs, or some other STD that will cause her to suffer the rest of her life? Pregnancy is the least of your child's worries from unprotected sex. And as you say, a condom might break. Why is everyone afraid to TEACH your children to be responsible and smart about protecting their bodies? Our body is our most precious possession and should be cherished and taken care of by us, and respected by those we date. If every parent out there tried to get their children to see that, we would eventually make some headway and our kids wouldn't be in so much danger out there. Meanwhile, get it out of your head that pregnancy is the only danger a teenager having sex is going to encounter!

Michelle - posted on 11/10/2008

my daugter told me she would like to be on birth control for her periods, which are regular. I put both my daughters on birth control. if they ask for whatever reason...I put them on. I dont want grandbabies. i am just getting them raised.

Michelle - posted on 11/10/2008

I have a very open relationship with my 15 year daughter. She had a serious boyfriend last year and neither of them had ever really "gone with" anyone before. She went on vacation with his family (good family friends for the judgmental)and came home to tell me that she didn't want a boyfriend anymore. The following day she told me that he was pressuring her because of the pressure he was getting from "friends"...long story short: she told him that she wasn't ready, wouldn't be ready while in high school and that he should find someone else. I trust her judgment and know that she makes wise decisions when it comes to boys. She doesn't want a boyfriend... what she does want is clear skin, short periods and mood control! She gets that from Yaz! Everyone makes decisions for their kids based on what is best for them and the family this decision made sense to me and my husband. Keep an open mind with your kids and trust them if they have earned it!

Kelly - posted on 11/10/2008

i would just like to say i was a teen mum myself at 13 i was pregnant and now my daugher is 13 .i agree alot of children will not tell there parents what they ar doin.and as soon as my daughter starts her period shannon will be getting the implant.i wouldnt change aything for the world now itwas very hard growing up with having a child so young.children dont think about things at the time and regret later.

Shonda - posted on 11/09/2008

I have one teen on bc since age 16 and another who is 16 that is not on bc. It isn't easy, especially to convince dad that this is a good idea. I mean, we were teens once, and I recall what we were doing...unprotected. The first job of being a parent is to protect your children, but also to inform them of the consequences of their actions. Teens will do what they will do, after all they have hormones. Better protected than sorry.

Sheila - posted on 11/09/2008

I was on birth control when I got pregnant at 18. I thought I was safe. Apparently I was wrong. It led to an ill-advised teen marriage that ended before my son was even born. My mom was open with me, we had a good relationship, and I went to her when I was ready to become sexually active and I went on the pill. I wish she had been more firm with me about what I was getting myself into. That is one of the other reasons I won't provide my children with birth control. It gives them a false sense of security. The only 100% effective method of birth control is abstinence.

Juli,

We are right there with you about closely monitoring them. I gave away my copy of "I Kissed Dating Good-bye" and need to get another one. It's an excellent perspective on dating.

And you know, every kid is different. The older they get, the tougher the decisions they have to make, and some of them are going to choose poorly. I think that by forcing them to make a definite choice to go against what we've taught them, we are giving them that much more accountability for their own actions. It's too easy for them to give in to pressure to become sexually active when they have been given the tools to do so by the very people telling them not to.

Lauri - posted on 11/09/2008

My first choice would be condoms for birth control. Pills can prevent safe sex because teens don't think about AIDs as something that could happen to them.



Teens see teenage pregnancies more often than AIDs and other STDs so it is a more realistic fear for them. If they don't have to worry about getting pregnant they may think they have nothing to worry about.



I can't believe how many people forget how prevalent AIDs is. You can't tell who has AIDs and hardly anyone is getting tested anymore.



By the time they are ill enough for to show physical signs they are home bound and then in and out of hospitals and nobody sees that part.