Linda - posted on 09/22/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )
Our son is 13. He's extremely gifted (IQ test put him at 99.8 percentile). We have him in private school, and he's challenged academically - he's especially gifted in math, and he's moved ahead to pre-calculus already.
Developmentally, though - he has anxiety disorder, OCD, and lots of social problems. The school is small (10 kids per grade at most), and he doesn't fit in well.
He's just been suspended for 3 days -- the two biggest issues are
1) He tends to make sarcastic and demeaning comments to other kids - like "that's so easy, how come you can't figure it out?"
2) He invaded the space of a girl that has space issues by hovering over her, and he's been told that.
He's been socially isolated with this group since 6th grade -- but the girl mentioned is not one that picks on him.
What do we do? How do we respond? In a lot of ways, he's trying harder and doing better, or at least so we thought. Also, some of the deck is stacked against him -- the kids that he doesn't get along with tend to run to the teachers -- a lot --- with every little thing. He doesn't, in return. They want him to (which seems antithetical to what we've tried to teach him over the years).
Is the academic environment worth the social environment?