6 year old bored with school

Joni - posted on 08/19/2010

HOMESCHOOL HER! Your other alternative would be to enroll her in a school for the gifted. My daughter started school a year early too and still surpassed her classmates, got into mischief and was bored to death. I wish I had homeschooled her, she's all grown now. I didn't think being the youngest in would be a problem but a lot of kids teased her and with her high intelligence she had trouble making friends (her IQ is 189). There are many activities your daughter can join to make friends with kids who share her interests. It's hard to fit in at school especially for the highly gifted and could lead to other problems down the road when she's older and trying to "fit in". If I could do it all over I wouldn't think twice about homeschooling and there are a lot of resources today to help.

Maura - posted on 06/29/2010

Skipping a grade isn't always easy to do and not necessarily in your hands. But I think she could clearly benefit, doesn't sound like she'll struggle academically.

Why not do both?? My daughter is gifted and learns very little at school - academically. Although I believe she is learning how to be social (something that doesn't always come naturally to gifted people). We do at least two hours of homeschooling on top of her school routine. She loves learning and it has never been an issue. Our rule: we use our brains until 5pm (ie no tv until then). She is doing fifth grade math at home, but is only in second grade. We learn about world geography and American history at home.

It doesn't have to be one or the other. Good luck with the move.

Shelley - posted on 06/28/2010

Do you have an IB elementary school in your area? This helped my boys SOOO much! Their entire program is centered around international whole world thinking/teaching..... so the whole race card is a NON issue.... actually, the normal population in the upper end schools is often the minority in the IB schools. Were the children I find are completely "color blind"! Seriously, it is so cool to see all the nationalities together playing, learning, and just loving their classmates and friends for who they are! Then as the children work their magic as children do .... before you know it the parents too are soon having lunch dates and play dates with a whole new circle of friends they might have other wise missed out on knowing! As far as the education.... the best part in my opinion!!! It is top notch, rigorous, competitive, actually held to a world wide standard education system not the sloppy one here in the US..... and approval and direction is controlled I believe by the Swiss Council...... anyway, check out www.ib.org to see more! Email me and I can give you much more info.... I am a complete believer in this system! Here in Florida it is offered in both our private and public schools...... my oldest went from placing 60th percentile on national test in a private catholic school to the 99th percentile in a few months at the IB school..... personally I believe he was scoring down to not be the "NERD" to his friends and out of fear of rejection!! Yes, these little ones are super clever!!! So watch for her to start that one too if you don't find a solution by about 2nd to 3rd grade.....

Miranda - posted on 06/26/2010

This is an issue that many parents of gifted kids face, and it's not easy to make a decision! The solution that is right for you depends on your resources to a large extent.
We all want our kids to socialize and make friends, but I believe there is a possibility of "negative socialization." When our children socialize with kids that they have trouble relating to, because of their intellectual level, they may be missing the benefits of interaction with others and just picking up many of the negative language, ideas, and behaviors that often go along with public school. Gifted kids do stand out, they can't help it. Many will lower their performance to fit in if they are left in a group of kids who perform at a lower level, because kids want to be accepted and liked. However, as noted by other posters, skipping up is not a great idea, especially if you have her in public school mainly to socialize! Kids are very conscious of age, and don't always want to befriend a "little kid."
Homeschooling is a wonderful option if you are an active parent who can keep your child involved through play groups, sports, music, etc. Your child will still meet other kids and have a chance for social interaction and development. Of course, not everyone can arrange to homeschool and not all communities provide the necessary support network.
We've had a great experience in Kansas with Lawrence Virtual School, which uses K12 curriculum and is still considered a public school. We have a flexible schedule, go in depth on subjects of interest, and the social network offers so many activities and groups that my son gets plenty of social time. I recommend you research the homeschooling options in your area before you rule it out.

Alicia - posted on 06/25/2010

Homeschooling is an option if you are in a community with activities for home-schooled children. Otherwise, you do run into the issues of socialization. Personally, I don't prefer homeschooling in most situations. My only real advice is don't let her skip a grade. My parents allowed me to skip a grade. It wasn't really an issue until high school, but then it became a big issue. My parents treated me as a 14yo, but my classmates were 15 and 16. There was a huge gap in age and maturity that caused problems for me personally. It also wasn't much fun to be the only person going off to college who still needed my parents to sign all paperwork because I wasn't 18 yet. The school wanted to let my son skip a grade early on, but I said no.

Julie - posted on 06/24/2010

Homeschooling would be wonderful if one had transportation, a social network, enough money to afford the extracurricular activities, ...... so we stay in public schools and continue to email and talk to politicians, guidance counselors, principals, teachers, and other parents who listen politely and then do nothing out of fear and/or frustration, maintaining the "status quo", or lack of support from school staff, family, and/or community. Hoping next year will be better.

Jeanell - posted on 06/24/2010

I agree - if you're interested - try homeschooling. I homeschool my 3 and between sports and homeschool groups - I can't keep up with their social engagements! Homeschooling also allows your daughter to move a fast (or as slow) as she wants with her schoolwork! Why hold her back in public school? Give it a try!

Missy - posted on 06/21/2010

PS - as stated above, there are TONS of opportunities for socializiation outside the public school setting - in fact, there are more! We make our friends in our extra curricular activities, in the times when we are NOT engaged in lessons during class, at lunch, etc. The thing about homeschooling or unschooling is that it takes a lot more effort on the part of the parent, so you've got to be ready to make that sacrifice personally, and it's really hard - but I've found ways to keep doing the things that I love and involved my children - e.g. - I'm a theatrical director, and my son LOVES hanging out at the theatre - he makes friends of all ages and learns a ton about how a production is put together, not to mention electrics, sewing, design, etc.

Missy - posted on 06/21/2010

We're an unschooling family - both of my children are gifted and had similar issues. My son has chosen to attend the local Montessori school because he enjoys the social opportunities afforded there, and he likes structure, and Montessori upholds the unschooling philosophy but offers some opportunities that we couldn't necessarily afford at home. If he ever wants to stay home, he will be able to do that, but it's up to him. I think that unschooling and the philosophies of John Holt are perfect for gifted kids. Check out his book "Learning all the Time" and also look at stuff by Sandra Dodd in case you're curious or have heard some sketchy stuff about unschooling - it really is an amazing way to educate your child. In that vein, if she wants to be homeschooled, that's something to really listen to - trust that your child knows what she needs and do the best that you can to meet that need.

Charla - posted on 06/19/2010

Homeschool her! Are you not considering homeschooling for other reasons besides her having friends? I homeschool our 3 kids (a gifted 9 yo, a 7 yo and a preschooler). They have friends that they made in the all of the homeschool groups and classes in which they are involved. Chess club, running club, ballet, presentation group, etc. My kids do not lack for opportunities to make friends and acquire good social skills, and they do it with kids of different ages & adults. They are more well-rounded and can hold conversations with adults. They help out with those younger and smaller than themselves. And I can tailor their academic curricula based on their needs, how fast they learn, and what their interests are. When they aren't bored, they are excited to learn... and that is what we should be fostering, a love of learning.

As for keeping her in school and skipping a grade.... we considered this for my son when he was in school. The school administrators were completely against it. They said the older kids would "eat him alive." He could do the work but he'd still be younger and smaller. This is where the asynchronous learning/development come into play, and the gifted child could become self-conscious and maybe even develop self-esteem issues from having to deal with bigger bully students of average intellect. It's no fun being picked on all the time by those bigger and stronger than you, that I can tell you from personal experience. (I also think the administrators wanted to keep him in his grade level so he could ace their tests and up their test scores... good for the school when test scores are high... more money for the school.)

Plus you've got one extra stressor in this equation... you're in a new place and she's got to get used to a new school. That's a lot for a child to take on. She needs your support and help. (I went to 5 different elementary schools. It's scary and unnerving to be in a new school that young.)

So, as for advice.... if you keep her in school, then be super supportive and go with her and volunteer often. Be active and proactive. If it turns out that she's still bored and acting out (something my son did), then be prepared to do something different, like homeschooling. The resources and support groups are tremendous for homeschoolers, and (depending on where you live), your child should have no problems finding and keeping new friends in whatever groups you get her involved in. There are many others like her out there, being homeschooled. It seems to me (from our public school at least) that gifted children just tend to get left behind in public schools as the schools are generally not equipped to teach at an accelerated rate. Most public schools are focused on the average kids and would prefer to stay that way. (I'm saying in general... I'm sure other moms would swear their school is wonderful and great and perfect so don't go off on me when you read this, moms. We had a lackluster experience with our school.)

That's a lot but I hope it helps.