ADHD / GIFTED

[deleted account] ( 10 moms have responded )

My son is now 11. He is gifted with ADHD. I've fought since he started school with the schools. ADHD here is considered a learning disability (i really think it's a teacher's disability). After being begged and coerced by teachers and administrators I put him on a variety of medications. After three years the side effects became unbelievably scary --- ticks, depression, etc and they wanted to just add more medicene. Being gifted he had a lot of the typical problems in school mostly because he was always way ahead. The school wouldn't put him in Gifted or advance him because he had LD but he was doing too well in school for and IEP. Teacher after teacher, even the school board. Finally we got a teacher to pay attention. He's now in gifted. He still isn't on medication. And they are accomodating his learning styles much better. I have had several people tell me that gifted children exhibit adhd and it's not because they truly have adhd but because their brains are going so fast and they are processing so much information that they don't know how to handle it.



My problem is he's entering his tweens, and is becoming quite a little "know it all" and bossy. He's having trouble making and keeping friends. Any suggestions on how to curb this in a gifted child?

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Sonja - posted on 04/14/2009

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Gifted or not, he needs clear limits. All kids test their boundaries, especially the smart ones! You could consider negative and positive reinforcements that you are using. For example, pointing it out when he has a good interaction and losing privileges for sassing and bossing (or simply ignoring him until he can be polite). If he is more on the ADHD spectrum, it is even more important to have clear rules and boundaries. I just got a book called Different Minds about kids who are gifted with ADHD, but have only read the first chapter, so can't give you much other info.

Although some kids who are gifted may have incorrect diagnoses of ADHD, it is also quite common to be both (also called twice exceptional). ADHD can have advantages in terms of seeing the world differently and connecting things in ways that others would not. Its disadvantages you are already well aware of in terms of how school deals with kids who are different learners. I'm glad you found a good teacher to help!

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Kylie - posted on 04/23/2009

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We are also doing the high protein/low carb diet with fish oil and probiotics and it has made a big difference in his ability to concentrate. I am now going to google CranioSacral Therapy - thanks for the suggestion.

Audrey - posted on 04/23/2009

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You are correct in that their brains are going to fast to keep up. However, it's usually because a neurotransmitter is missing. There are ways to help slow down the brain activity once you figure out what ADHD he has. The BEST way i'm helping my 12/13 yr old is with a high protein low carb diet and with CrainioSacral Therapy. Usually the occiput has been stuck to C1, and there is low activity in the frontal part of the brain. Google Dr. Doug Cowan. He has a website that was great infomation.

I'm reading bits and pieces of CHANGE YOUR BRAIN... CHANGE YOUR LIFE. By Daniel Amen. There are natural ways to help the brain get reconnected, and you may not see results right away it may take a month or two.

As with the friends making.... there are always going to be kids who will accept him for himself, and there are going to be kids who might take advantage of his brainyness. Keep an open relationship and help him though these times.

Kylie - posted on 04/21/2009

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Hi Sonja, I used Nurture by Nature by Paul Tieger & Barbara Barron-Tieger. It is still psych based but actually pretty easy reading and interesting. My sister who hates psych stuff (mind you studying to be a teacher) even enjoyed it. There is a chapter that assists in indentifying the personality type - the younger the child the harder it is. I struggled a bit with my 3 year old but new easily that he was extroverted and a perceiver so just read the types that started with E and ended with P and was able to work it out from there. Once you have their type it is interesting to google and see what else comes up.

Sonja - posted on 04/21/2009

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What book did you use to identify personality type in kids? Do you have them do a test like in adults? I am finding Different Minds slow reading. It is not "same old" but is very academic and dense. It was recommended by a GT teacher and I think it is more geared for psychologists and teachers, but is a different perspective on the issue.

Kylie - posted on 04/20/2009

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I just wanted to say thanks Lauren. I was aware of my own personality type (INFJ) and had a book here on how to identify my children but had forgotten about it. I have just reread it and it has helped me so much in terms of realising what I am doing wrong with my son (INTP) and what I need to do to help him become the best that he can be. Also helped identify my daughter (INFJ) which explained why we are so compatible and my youngest (ESTP), known as "The Doer" and boy does that explain him even down to his preference for nudity - thank goodness he is only 3 and hopefully something he will grow out of. My husband thinks psych stuff is worthless but even he was amazed at how accurate the personality profiles were - interesting reading!

Lauren - posted on 04/18/2009

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We are just now looking at ADD/ADHD since my son started public school (he's 14). I've known his personality type (ENTP) for awhile and just read an article about the similarities between ENTP and ADD (Google ENTP and ADD and you'll see it). Also compares CREATIVES. It advises caution on medications. We are finding that the more advanced classes in high school are very much sit and listen to lecture -- which is near impossible for our son. His school does block class schedules which means most days are 90 minute classes. I'm looking for ways to involve him and motivate him to look at what he needs to work on ---- which is so very different than most kids. This is made even harder when he refuses the honors classes because he does not feel successful in the current one he's taking.

My suggestions are try to involve him in something social that he enjoys AND that gives him some social status.....my son took boy's hip hop. On the other side, try to find a "know it all" and after an interaction with your son talk about how this person made your son feel (it is so hard for them to put themselves in someone else's shoes without really being there).

[deleted account]

thanks sonja & kylie...  let me know how that book is or if it just re-hashes the same ole stuff everyone else writes.  I may grab it up!  Thanks again

Kylie - posted on 04/10/2009

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Hi Christy, Social issues are such a concern for us as parents. My son definitely walks to the beat of his own drum and I can certainly see stressful times ahead as he matures. I read a great book that helped identify the personality types of my children, potential pitfalls and ways to help them "fit" within society - Tricky Kids by Andrew Fuller. It focuses on the negative and positive aspects of parenting these children and ways to assist them in becoming the awesome adults that we know they are going to be. Hope you find it helpful!

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