Shelia - posted on 01/07/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )
I am a mother of a highly gifted son, he is 17 now. I have 2 nieces that are gifted and 2 grandchildren that are gifted. I can spot a gifted child in minutes. Most people don't know how to interact with them, b/c they don't understand them. They either love them to death or can't stand them. :) They are highly sensitive, they frustrate easily and get angry easy. You need to help others try to understand them and how to deal with them. Be their advocate. When talking about your child to others, use the word gifted not smarter, people can tolerate that word better. I guess you are finding out that you can not manipulate them or use reverse psychology on them, they are always 100 steps ahead of you. I have kept my son very busy. I let him try anything he wants to try. He self taught himself guitar and piano and plays by ear very well. I let him take things apart to see how things work. I do not put boundaries around him, the sky is the limit. It doesn't take a lot of money to open up the sky for them, it just takes courage. If he can not do something perfect, he won't do it. He can't stand not being the best. He is harder on himself than anyone else could be. B/c of his anger, frustration and people's ignorance I chose to take him out of the public school system after 4th grade. It's not for all gifted children, but for mine it was the best thing I could do for him. I was always having to go to the school b/c my son got angry or had a smart mouth, etc. I got tired of them testing him for ADHD and wanting him on medication when they knew that he was gifted and bored, he never tested positive for ADHD (they tested him 4 times), they just didn't know wha t do with him. The gifted program was only 1 time per week, just not enough for my child. 5th grade would have been 1 time per month. I got so angry at the school system, they have all kinds of things for the mentally challenged, but very little for the gifted. They just could not understand his needs and that not all gifted children mainstream well in a slow environment. They would not advance him, they said it would not be good socially. He has lots of friends, some he has to distance himself from at times b/c he just gets frustrated at them but generally gets along with others well. He has always gotten along with children that were older, still does, they relate better. He is very loving and caring towards younger children, the old, animals and the underdogs. He still has issues with anger towards himself, and respect towards some people. Only those who are threatened by him intellectually or treat him with disrespect. He can't stand for someone to repeat themselves over and over, in most public schools they have to do that for a lot of children. Just love them for who they are, never set boundaries (intellectually), be their advocate and teach people who are to come into contact with them how to deal with them and undertand them. Don't be ashamed to brag, that's your child and you have a right to brag. It isn't easy being a parent of a gifted child but it can be very rewarding for the both of you. Good luck to you all and God Bless.