Counseling for gifted kids

Alea - posted on 11/11/2012

My child is 10 years old. He has a diagnosis of PTSD. I have been reading several books about the gifted that mentions the higher possibilities that a Gifted child has to experience PTSD if exposed to a traumatic event. He has been attending therapy for PTSD, but his therapist although acknowledge he is Gifted, focusses only on the trauma and PTSD. I need help finding a professional that can address the issues of being gifted. Any recommendations?

Dawn - posted on 12/21/2008

My daughter is an 8 year old gifted child and she has been seeing a psychologist since August. She has anger management issues. She is always feeling like she is being picked on by the other kids. She is very high strung and emotional. The counseling has helped her learn ways to deal with this. Try asking the counselors at school and see if they can recommend someone for you that would be good. We took her the MHMR here first for info. and they helped us out a lot and pointed us in the right direction.

Deborah - posted on 12/20/2008

most people will argue that you do not need to test just to test but I think being prepared for the future is not a bad thing. I plan to test my 2 yr. old when she is around 4. We are still debating starting her early or waiting to accelerate her and would really like to know what we are dealing with. But I am glad you are liking the Ruf book. It was very eye opening for me. Do keep in mind that her case studies are small and kids from her immediate area so this can warp the stats but if you read it as an opener than you will find it very useful! I think more than the lists under each section is the short stories of the kids that excited me, b/c I could see my daughter in a lot of it.



Also if you get to the questioning of the difference between level 4 and 5 like I did this is what information I collected:

The major difference is motivation so depending on what the child is working on if it excites them then they can be a level 5 in that area. There was a little girl on the Today's show awhile back that set the gifted community on ear. She has been reading since 18 mths and the parents decided to reach out to the media to find experts to work with them. (Of course the media part sends me over the edge and I so won't get into it.) People on boards were arguing she was a level 5 and I found this curious b/c Ruf specifically pts out to be a level 5 you have to be gifted in math and language. Of course by the data presented who knows if she is gifted in math. From this the topic of motivation came up and the conclusion that she is for all intensive purpose a level 4 but right now with her addiction to reading is a level 5.



I still have questions about the levels but I found the book very useful.

Amy - posted on 12/20/2008

Wow... okay! Sensory Integration and overexcitability. I'll look into those. He definitely has signs of them. Tactile issues (Still doesn't wear jeans), food issues, prone to fear.
Right now I'm really enjoying Ruf's book. We have never had our son tested for IQ or anything. It wasn't until last year that the term gifted really entered our vocabulary... we just knew he was smart and he was sensitive. Reading the book makes me wonder if we should do it just to be armed with data as needed through his schooling. He's not suffering at school. He has friends and participates, but he does wish it was more challenging. Anyway, thanks for all the info. I want to be as prepared as possible when we meet with the counselor.

Kate - posted on 12/20/2008

Check out Dabrowski's theories of over-excitabilities. He talks about gifted children who have extra sensitiveness in certain areas such as sensory, emotional, intellectual, imagination etc. Research has suggestedthat about 30% of Gifted children who have been diagnosed with ADHD are in fact misdiagnosed and are overexcited in certain area because of their giftedness. This is a huge percentage. When I read up on Dabrowski's theories I also came across strategies that have helped him cope with his emotions and other areas of excitabilities. These strategies I've also used as a teacher who teaches quite a number of gifted children and it has also helped me with gifted children in the classroom. And any teacher who says they're not responsible for your sons emotions needs a good reality check because as a teacher I need to work with parents to ensure that their child develops in an environment where they are nurtured and given opportunity to be themself without feeling intimidated or wrong for feeling the way they do.

Sonja - posted on 12/19/2008

There have been some great suggestions here. One thing I have not seen is a mention of SENG: http://www.sengifted.org/. Their whole goal is supporting emotional needs of the gifted. They do some online or conference call supports as well as a conference. Thomas S. Greenspon is a psychologist in my area who works with gifted children (and adults) He has a book on perfectionism and does some conferences and talks as well.

Deborah - posted on 12/19/2008

Amy, a 2E can be the above such as ADHD or speech and yes a sensory issue that as you discribed can be an issue for all gifted children. Let's just say they are more likely to have sensory issues but to what intensity? From your description it appears that your son is on the higher end (of course it comes in waves) and b/c of this would IMHO place him under 2E. Sensory Integration (SI) is a real issue that gets overlooked by many as they push the ADD. My BF's daughter who is 14 has SI and it has been an uphill battle. My friend is the one that came across the diagnoses of SI and brought it to the attention of the doctors which they admitted was probably the case. Once she had that under her belt she was able to tackle some of the issues. It got to the point that her child missed all of school last year but is incredibly smart and was able to do the workload from home. I know what I am telling you is enough to send you over the edge and I am not trying to scare you. Her daughter is now back in a school. A very small private school and seems to be doing a lot better. We are realistic and know it is a one day at a time thing with her but we have our hopes up.



The best site to look at to see if your son may or may not be 2E is the following:



http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/twice_excep... specifically look at the Sensory Integration (SI)



Also think back to your son as a baby. Was he a colic baby? His eating habits was he extremely picky and textural items were hard for him to eat? All of this ties into SI if I remember correctly b/c my BF was telling me about a questionaire she had to fill out and they asked specifically about infancy. So even if he isn't 2E you will probably need to know that information for the professionals as they collect the data to try to understand what is going on.



Please let me know if what I wrote made sense or if you need clarification.

Amy - posted on 12/19/2008

Deborah, maybe you can clarify what 2E includes? I had understood (without much investigation) that it meant gifted intellectually plus ADHD or maybe a speech problem or something that needed different type of help. And also had read in handful of books/articles that gifted kids tend to be intense and sensitive emotionally, so I assumed it was a package deal! :) I would love some clarification.

Deborah - posted on 12/18/2008

Hi Amy,

I noticed you posted on the 'gifted?' string in reference to the Ruf book which is great but has a major flaw IMHO that might be a problem for you. Your kid is what they term 2E or Twice Exceptional and Ruf with all her wisdom does not go into 2E. There are other books out there and just do a search on gifted with 2E and it will pull up a lot of books for you to consider.

Just searching that string and the posts to this thread should hopefully assure you that your experience with your son is not unusual and you are definitely not alone though I am sure some days you feel like you are.

I hope the books help you as you explore the world of 2E.

Amy - posted on 12/18/2008

Just an update: I spoke with a counselor yesterday who is approved by my insurance. He doesn't specifically have experience with gifted kids, but seemed aware of some of the sensitivities. He primary does family therapy, which seems like a good fit for us. My husband and I will meet with him first in a few weeks. Right now I'm hoping for the best!

Thanks for all the comments. If I can ever get out of my house (snow), I've got a book waiting for me at the bookstore about this stuff that I'm excited to read.

Erin - posted on 12/17/2008

It is so amazing to have found this community of parents...truly it is! Every day I am struggling with huge challenges concerning my gifted son and just when I think it's at its worst and there is no other kid out there dealing with the same issues and my son must be demented (sorry to say I have had that thought!), I check this group and I see that there are many other parents out there who have been through or are going through the same things! As each of us gives it our all to do the best we can for these incredible kids we must guide through life, it's great to know none of us are alone in our struggles - and blessings!!

Getting counseling for my son is an idea I have been tossing around for a while now, and reading these posts has encouraged me to check into the options. We could definitely use the help that I think counseling can provide. Thanks everyone!

Lisa - posted on 12/17/2008

Hi! I am the mother of a highly gifted 5 year old. We have taken her to a psychologist who specializes with gifted kids (he is located in Lexington, KY). Her is wonderful and he helped her and us understand how she was thinking and thus why she was feeling and acting the way the was. My insurance covers this as a mental health visit.

Lucinda - posted on 12/16/2008

Counseling is such an important part of their overalll development. Sensitivity and insensitivity are such large ongoing issues through the years. My son's GT program brings in a counsler every Monday and teaches a new characteristic of life. My son loves it and it opens the class up to a lot of discussion. Keep searching for someone your child can relate too.

Amy - posted on 12/16/2008

Thanks for the responses so far. We do have really good communication between us and that has helped. Unfortunately, within the school system, there is very little support for 'TAG' kids (Talented and Gifted is the label here). In elementary school they test and identify and then offer 'differentiation' in the classroom, which depends on the teacher. In middle school and high school there are more options, but there is isn't even a 'gifted students' teacher I can go to. I am very involved at school and have good relationships with teachers and principal, but ultimately, I am on my own for the emotional and extra intellectual needs. That being said, he is not unhappy at school overall. We seem to go through seasons of moodiness and anxiety and when those times come, it is often more than I know how to manage... that is when I'd like to have a counselor to go to. So far, our insurance hasn't been helpful and neither has the school counselor, but maybe I can try again this year! :)

Anna - posted on 12/16/2008

Where do you live? We have a gifted daughter who is now a freshman in high school. We have always taught our children that you have to be happy and centered inside, in your own core, and everything will flow from that. We also tell them that there is no question that they cannot ask us, that we won't be judgemental. I think it is also important to get to know your children's teachers,school staff, the principal before school starts. It will help you visualize what you child experiences in a typical day at school, and you can talk to them at night before they go to bed. My son is in junior high, but at night before he goes to sleep, we turn out the lights, he is tucked in his bed and I sit on the floor in the bedroom and then I ask him "what's the subject." This is conducive for good dialogue - you can find out what's on your child's mind, what the gossip is in their class/grade, how they feel about their teachers and homework, etc. We talk about everything - he even told me how stealth fighters are able to fly undetected by radar. I think this helps kids feel loved and safe, then able to face the outside world.

Michele - posted on 12/16/2008

Hi Ami, I am the parent of four gifted daughters and have had to seek counseling on a number of occassions throughout the years. You can check with your son's school counselor for referrals and sometimes the gifted teachers are a good resource, since they have had to deal with these issues with many students. One avenue I have found very successful are counselors that provide biofeedback services. You might want to do some research and determine if this service is available in your area. Good Luck, I know its frustrating. I am also a teacher as have seen the tremendous amount of services availabe in the schools for Exceptional Student Education, although the Gifted end of that area is very often ignored.

Deborah - posted on 12/14/2008

Hi Amy,
You might want to start with your pediatrician and see if they can recommend anyone. I do suggest trying to find someone who specifically deals with gifted populations. We've found that while general family therapists can work for some emotional issues, there are definitely special issues that come up with gifted kids regarding intensity, sensitivity, etc. FYI - we actually do phone meetings with someone in NYC... Julie Ross (www.parentinghorizons.com). She is fantastic and has given us a ton of support with our gifted (and challenging!) 4 year old. Good luck!