Facing jealousy

Shieni - posted on 07/31/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi,
i wonder how are you guys experiencing jealousy from other parents .
because our kid is gifted.
i can not even tell his progress to other parents. but people like to ask. if i tell, they are jealous & accusing me being tiger mom etc. dont believe that i never teach my kid . he learn by himself believe it or not.
i can not even posting his milestone in facebook. because its inviting jealousy. so i just try to hide his progress to be socially acceptable.
how do you guys face the jeloust parents ?
i wonder why if the kid is regular its ok too be proud & telling their progress / posting in fb . but when our kid is gifted its become a show off if we are proud of it.
like a parent can show a toddler know his abc . but i can not tell /posting that my son have been reading before his 2 yo b'day ( read in several languages including japanese, russian ) teach himself because i dont know those languages, my English not even good.accusing me being tiger mom is crazy.

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T. Maenad - posted on 08/23/2012

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This is something that everyone experiences regardless of whether your child is gifted or not. The US is very competitive and that starts with the parents comparing kids. Just remember that giftedness is no guarantee of a successful life. Your child will face challenges for being different. I always told my kids that they were handed their brain -- they didn't earn it, they won the birth lottery (in many ways). It is their responsibility to use this wonderful brain of theirs to make the world a better place. Praise effort and character rather than specific milestones.

My daughter had a teacher who used to hand out prizes for performance and participating in class -- I told the teacher she might as well pass out prizes for breathing.

Honestly, try to find other moms that have gifted kids, and save the conversations about what your son is working on for those moms. I do understand -- everyone asked me how I taught my daughter to read -- and we didn't really -- we finally broke down and bought some phonics stuff for her at 4 because of her high frustration level, and she wanted to know how to read -- we did like two weeks of phonics and suddenly she could read fluently, and within a few months was reading at a 3rd grade level.

Gifted kids are fun, but think about what kind of adult you want him to be -- I bet there's a lot of qualities you want him to have that have nothing to do with intellect.

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