Holding them back...

Jennifer - posted on 03/25/2011

Kylie, I can understand your hesitation around testing because of your own experience as a child, and I don't know that you need to have young children tested, but I sure wish someone had tested me! I was tested around age 30 because I was having difficulty with employment, and found out I was more than just "bright." Just as importantly, I also found out about my learning disabilities. I think it would have helped my self esteem immensely if I'd known that back in school.

As your kids get older, it's not so much that they will seem more gifted to you, but that the other kids will seem a little slow to you. They are not actually slow, but average! lol Gifted children often have bright or gifted parents, and extended family, so we have our own idea of normal and can often lack perspective on what average really looks like. ;)

Jennifer - posted on 03/25/2011

@Deborah: The next best thing to the one-room schoolhouse is the split grade class. My boys attended a very small French immersion public school with only around 100 kids (k-7) and in grade 5 my oldest was in a 5/6/7 split. He had a very good teacher, so it was an academically positive experience. I remember often being in split grades in primary school where I was one of the younger bunch.

As far as Corbell's concerns, I can see where that is coming from. I think there are plenty of things parents can teach their kids that they don't teach at school. Not only languages and music, but things like cooking, home repair/renovations, bicycle or auto mechanics, etc.Teach them how to be a smart shopper and figure out what is a better deal at the grocery store, or how to read the nutrition labels. A friend of mine learned about the stock market and had a mock portfolio when he was young, and by grade 9 or 10 he had started to buy penny stocks for real. For many of us these practical skills will take us farther in life than the academics at school anyway. I enjoy the feeling of competence that I get from knowing how to do things for myself, such as changing the oil of my motorcycle or renovating my home. Depending on the nature of the giftedness, your child may have the capacity for a much greater BREADTH of knowledge, not just depth.

Deborah - posted on 02/24/2009

There you go ... we will all go visit/stay with Rebekah. :)

Rebekah - posted on 02/24/2009

LOL. Sure. Want to move to Iowa?

Deborah - posted on 02/24/2009

The sad thing is the old style of one room school houses where children were taught by ability groupings not age is the more ideal of school systems for gifted kids. So can we go back to the old style? Anyone have a big red barn we can borrow?

Tammy - posted on 02/24/2009

Interesting fact about our modren school system is that it was basically designed during the industrial revolution to prepare our children to do repetitive tasks in the factories. 

Alexandria - posted on 02/22/2009

I think gifted programs have changed some. My eight year old was so BORED in class he just couldn't sit still. He got into a gifted program and everything changed for him. He can enjoy "normal" class because he knows he will be challenged later. He's better in his normal class and his gifted class. From what I have heard from him, his friends have not changed and don't really care. If your son does end up in classes like that it does not have to spell the doom it seemed to spell for you. Things have changed so much. On another note - I think I am guilty of also holding him back. I allowed his big brother to take leadership and do a lot for him instead of allowing him to try himself. Or I would do things for him. Ah - hindsight is 20/20. He wouldn't let me read for him though. LOL boring to sit on mom's lap!!

Ellen - posted on 02/22/2009

I'm in Leander - north of Austin. I used to drive all over Texas for work and have to admit that speeding was an option back then. Now I live a whole 1.8 miles from work and the fastest road I drive on pretty much ever any more is 40mph. Now I feel like a speed demon when I'm on I-35 and going with the flow of traffic. A friend of mine and I are planing a road trip to Waxahachie in a few weeks. Something about antiques and scrapbooing supplies - I think I go just for the hunt of the unkown.

Angela - posted on 02/22/2009

I live in Mansfield, just south of Ft. Worth. We're about 3 or 4 hours from Austin, depending on how fast you drive. ;-)

Ellen - posted on 02/22/2009

Angela the more posts of yours I read the more I think you live in my area. Are you in the Greater Austin area?

Angela - posted on 02/21/2009

Like Kylie, I have chosen not to have my oldest son formally labelled as gifted. I am an AP high school teacher, so I work with gifted students all day. I know my son is gifted. His teachers have told me to have him tested so that he could be put in the G/T program. The problem is that here the G/T program in the elementary schools isn't very impressive. It just consists of additional projects for the kids to do at home. In school they do what everyone else is doing. Because my son was recognized as being intelligent, he ended up being in the "high" class each year, so he was challenged somewhat without being in the G/T program. Now he is in 5th grade, which is middle school, and they have pre-AP classes available. He is in all pre-AP classes, so he is still being challenged. He loves school and he is in classes with other students who love to learn. It's a win-win situation even though he's never been tested. It works for us. Next year my youngest will be in kindergarten and they will automatically test him. If he ends up being labelled G/T, we will probably pull him from the program and let him follow the same path as his brother. Our oldest didn't go to kindergarten there; that's why he wasn't tested.

Debbie - posted on 02/20/2009

You could always see how he likes the gifted program, and if it doesn't work out well, you can always take him out. My daughter is also 9 and in the G&T program. And loves it!

Ellen - posted on 02/19/2009

Have a happy day all, finding fun ways to freak out the neighbor moms and kids alike! k.

Lovin" it!!!! Totally fraeking people out with A "reading" the word vent the other day.

Kimberly - posted on 02/18/2009

boohoo.  I wrote a long message and it disappeared.  Sigh!  When they were evaluating my daughter to see if she could be placed in 1st instead of K, one of her observers was floored when my daughter used the word diagonal to describe some lines she was making.  I didn't have the heart to tell them that she could also read the word...but those were the same people who decided that she should STAY in Kindergarten.  And it has turned out okay.  I think the secret to happy gifted kids..and probably all kids...is to make the world a happy medium.  They all need chances to excell at the things they are good at, even if they can only do it at home.  And they all need to be challenged by things they are not ALREADY good at so they can develop coping strategies to be successful in whatever life they choose.  Embracing the wierdness of having kids who boggle the mind is part of the fun.  Of course my kiddo is little still and we lucked out with her teachers...ie she got teachers who like her and want to TRY to do right by her.

It is too bad that we can't just avoid the labels (upper and lower) altogether but the human brain is wired to focus on difference.  Sigh!  Have a happy day all, finding fun ways to freak out the neighbor moms and kids alike! k.

Deborah - posted on 02/18/2009

Oh Kylie ... you are having what we call Gifted denial. Most of us go through it and some are still going through it. Your question: "Does anyone else struggle with this and question that these reports are aimed more at the below average child?" is a dead give away. LOL Data of this sort and milestones period are for the average child. They give the average of when children accomplish something and use this information to determine if a child has missed the milestones and therefore delayed.

I remember when my daughter was 2 weeks looking at the milestones for babies and laughing my buns off b/c she had mastered everything up to 3 months at that time. I was convinced that the milestones were clearly buffered for the below average child so the parents wouldn't worry. I never even considered that my child was so advanced. And when she started talking in 10+ sentences she was not even quite 18 months at that time. So reading that children at age 2 should be putting together 2 word sentences floored me when my child should have been the one that floored me. So yes ... I lived and still live in Gifted Denial. Just keep telling yourself the info you are reading is for the 'average' child not the subaverage. Eventually you will accept it. LOL

Kylie - posted on 02/18/2009

I have chosen not to have my children formally identified to date (child psych's have unofficially informed me my daughter is highly gifted through reviewing of off-level assessment tests undertaken at school and general observation), as I am wary of them being labelled anything. I was identified in 5th Grade and always felt a disappointment due to choosing not to go to University. I breezed through school, partied through my senior years and crammed for my final exams (which amazingly still provided me with the  marks to go to Uni but not the course or Uni I wanted so I chose to work instead).

The Prinicipal at my daughter and son's school advised me, when they conducted the off-level testing that even if my daughter had an IQ of 150 or above (I think they were concerned) that they would not be able to cater for her in any way greater than the way they were already doing, so I have chosen not to pursue it. At present both my children are happy at school, my daughter is currently ecstatic as she has just entered 3rd Grade and can now participate in school clubs so has signed up for Dance on Monday, Art on Tuesday, Science on Thursday and Choir on Friday. I did explain that participating in so many things would mean giving up her lunch hour and her response was "so".

As on off-shoot here I still have difficulty, not as much as my husband, accepting that they are really that different intellectually from other children. I read a report based on gifted children’s linguistic ability recently and it stated that at 4.5 years a child with approximately 10 word sentences was (I think - don't quote me on this), 30% above the average. My just 3 year old spoke in a 17 word sentence approximately 15 minutes after reading this and he at present is not as advanced as my daughter was. Does anyone else struggle with this and question that these reports are aimed more at the below average child? Mind you it was written by a leading "gifted specialist" here in Aus.

Lauryan - posted on 02/18/2009

I try and guage from Aiden what he is interested in by chatting to him about everything we see in our daily lives. Then when he shows interest I tell him about it.



So he guides what we learn and how in-depth I go with him. If he is bored we move on. If he says no then we don't do it.



Likewise he often brings things to me (or me to the things) to ask me "what's this?". Holding a child back (in my mind) can't bring happiness for anyone. These kids have a right to learn what they want to WHEN they want to learn it, and at the speed that they want to learn at.



I don't see why our kids should be held back so that the educational systems and teachers can feel good... the focus needs to shift to the children - NOT be on the educators.

Zoe - posted on 02/17/2009

Quoting Rebekah:

Additionally (and it has been mentioned elsewhere on this forum) the Drs and lawyers and "successful" businesspeople of the world are typically above average, but not highly gifted. Things come more easily to them, but they have had to work to get where they are and were challenged (at least somewhat) academically. Think about a spoiled child who has always been handed everything they ever wanted and then one day has to pay their own way. You expect them to have difficulty adjusting, right? Just as that child never learned the value of a dollar, a gifted child who is not intellectually challenged doesn't ever learn to study, to search further for answers and their innate thirst for knowledge is eventually squashed by that soul-crushing busywork. .......

Extra curricular enrichment is another option. Music has been great for my HG step-brother. It is something that has interested and challenged him from a young age and something that he wanted to practice in order to get better (In addition to providing an entirely different social circle from school). He's not a musical prodigy, but he's accomplished at violin and piano and is now going to study physics in college. (I should mention that he also skipped a grade and attends a magnet HS, so there are many factors in play).

Best of luck in finding the right path for your son and your family.

I just wanted to second what you said.  I knew so many gifted children that were text book from some of Deweck's work (prof from Stanford).  They were told "you are smart" so often they didn't know how to look for answers, and REALLY didn't know how to work for things.  I am kinda grateful one of my daughter's interest is the life sciences and has a never ending horizon of inquiry.

Also we got involved with Suzuki music so my daughter would learn the rewards of a work ethic.  You may take a couple days off reading and not loose it, but it infuriates her to "loose a song" she has worked so hard to get.  We have been even known to say "sure you don't want to practice today?  Remember the time you lost "Twinkle" and had to learn it all over again?"  Her muscle memory isn't at the same pace as her general memory for memorizing things.  Doesn't hurt that she thinks she should be able to play as fast as she thinks. (ha!)  In the past two years we have had some real hurdles, where I have had to clench my teeth and use the mantra "patience, persistance, and hardwork pay off"  (Tour de France guy said that a couple years ago about his Amish family.)

I learned that *I* am used to my kid learning things FAST.  I am used to her charming her teachers, and having a music teacher that is a bit fustrated with her... WOW, I was used to her rapidly advancing in classes.  Being held back was new and terrible!

However, now he sees why she says "I was born to play guitar!" (to which I quip "I just wish you were born to PRACTICE it!!!")

Rebekah - posted on 02/17/2009

Quoting Corbell:

Do we hold him back and then what happens? Can he stay with his regular crowd and remained 'bored' constantly and then magically pull up his socks at the end of highschool to qualify for a good university? Who knows.

From my own experience I see the 'gifted' kids from my class went on in roughly the same proportion as the 'regular' kids to be housewives and scientists -- it didn't seem to help the bottom line much...

The last message made me go back and re-read this portion of your post re: "bottom line"

 I suppose it depends on whether your bottom line is defined by the destination or the journey. As some others have mentioned, they care less about what career or traditional success their children achieve than their overall well-being and contentment. My husband is more of a career-driven type of guy, so we've had this conversation many times, even before realizing our son is gifted. How do you guide your child on the right path to be happy/successful through school AND as an adult? 

First, consider the ramifications of having your son "bored constantly" all through school. Many studies point to shockingly high dropout rates among the gifted for essentially this reason. If gifted kids can't pull up their socks, as you say, and do well in university or even get in, then how can they be expected to have a job that requires that type of education? Additionally (and it has been mentioned elsewhere on this forum) the Drs and lawyers and "successful" businesspeople of the world are typically above average, but not highly gifted. Things come more easily to them, but they have had to work to get where they are and were challenged (at least somewhat) academically. Think about a spoiled child who has always been handed everything they ever wanted and then one day has to pay their own way. You expect them to have difficulty adjusting, right? Just as that child never learned the value of a dollar, a gifted child who is not intellectually challenged doesn't ever learn to study, to search further for answers and their innate thirst for knowledge is eventually squashed by that soul-crushing busywork. A third factor limiting traditionally measured career success for gifted, which I will only briefly mention, is that many jobs/workplaces are just as ill-equipped to deal with adults of high ability as are our schools with gifted children, but that's another can of worms.

From my experience as a highly gifted high school and college dropout housewife, I would encourage you to find some way to challenge your son now, while he's still interested and engaged. This does not necessarily mean taking him out of his class or away from his friends. Accelerated programs in only certain academic areas work for some people, but they're not for everyone. Extra curricular enrichment is another option. Music has been great for my HG step-brother. It is something that has interested and challenged him from a young age and something that he wanted to practice in order to get better (In addition to providing an entirely different social circle from school). He's not a musical prodigy, but he's accomplished at violin and piano and is now going to study physics in college. (I should mention that he also skipped a grade and attends a magnet HS, so there are many factors in play).

Best of luck in finding the right path for your son and your family.

Kimberly - posted on 02/16/2009

Are you expecting it to affect the bottom line?  As a "housewife" with a 6 year old whose long-term favorite book to read is her Dad's Human Dissection Atlas from medical school, I don't really see how the bottom line comes in to the equation.  "Gifted" doesn't mean successful any more than "house wife" means unsuccessful.  It is just different....maybe different from what you had or wanted, maybe what you always wished you had, maybe just different.

My girl is "gifted" in all the ways we expected because they are the things that we value in our home.  She has had lots of exposure....with the idea that, and this is what we used to say joking when we lieved in Hawaii, but it is still pretty true : "She can earn anything she needs to know at home, she goes to school to learn small arms and hand-to-hand fighting."

That said, my daughter's school elected to keep her in K this year, and her wonderful K teachers send her to her great gifted teacher EVERY DAY.  She isn't in step with her peers, but she is a happy kid who still plays with them.  I think the key is to help your kids find a place for themselves in the world that can make them happy...and to recognize that it may change as they do also. :)  Good luck. k. hartvigsen (P.S. I used my MA in linguistics to make designer doll clothes for collectors...and my free time to read anything I can be interested in, which is a LOT.  Housewife is a grand option for me! heehhehe)

Deborah - posted on 02/16/2009

You bring up at great point Rebekah and one attached to another topic that I think I will start a new thread on. (evening out by third grade.) Katelyn takes one maybe two times and she gets it and I have read that repetition is needed for the average child with 6+ times. I just can't help but think how bored she will be in kindergarten and I also ponder how she is going to adapt. I notice she tends to dummy herself down to fit in when around other kids. She clams up and talks to the level of whoever she is around. If the child is in the beginning of sentence structure she will shorten her sentences to meet theirs. She also doesn't offer too much information but rather reacts to whatever the child says. Preschool will be interesting to say the least.

Rebekah - posted on 02/16/2009

I don't know that withholding knowledge at a young age would combat boredom much. The standard curriculum practice is to teach/repeat a lesson 6+ times, which is what is needed for an average child to learn and retain the material. For a child who is able to learn more quickly (only needing one or two repetitions) they are still hearing things they already know 4 or 5 times. I don't think that minor difference is enough to keep a high ability child interested, much less engaged in school. And, more importantly I think, isn't this sort of attitude teaching them that they shouldn't or don't have to try very hard?

Zoe - posted on 02/16/2009

Quoting Ellen:

Zoe the math program looks great! I was watching the demo and he came running in wanting to do it. Since our district only does screeners for the gifted program I'll have to find somewhere to do a formal evaluation. Several LSSP's have observed him and feel that he's "way up there". Hadn't thought abut letting him use the Rossetta Stone stuff. He would love that as well.

We have been really lucky to dodge the evaluations and sneak in under a pilot program for our school district in CA. The "downside" is we have to do our own tutoring and mentoring (and tech support with turning off the pop-up blockers) but my daughter would rather ask me than call a tutor anyhow ;-)  good luck with it!

Tracey - posted on 02/15/2009

hi there, 

You know i'm really excited about how many gifted children there are today.  We are in for a real treat, thats for sure.  The more we allow gifted people to be themselves and offer their gifts, the more intriguing this amazing world becomes.   A friend of mine, Shannon Panzo says:

"I believe that people that are discovering their natural gifts should explore them. If you deny them, it is like living with a lie. It causes us damage on subtle energy levels.

.

i would like you to check out this about  how to enhance and develop eidetic memory, at this site

http://mindtomind.com/blog/revolution_le... 

Also this site www.zoxpro.com/timeflight.htm gives adults the chance to regain the eidetic memory they were gifted with as children.

I like to teach the basics of these skills to anyone who will listen, as I yearn for a greater playing field.  And i have found from working and playing with gifted people that the easy and natural developments amongst ourselves have been revelationary to us and highly inspirational to all participants. 

I'm all for encouraging an inspirational world !!

Ellen - posted on 02/15/2009

Zoe the math program looks great! I was watching the demo and he came running in wanting to do it. Since our district only does screeners for the gifted program I'll have to find somewhere to do a formal evaluation. Several LSSP's have observed him and feel that he's "way up there". Hadn't thought abut letting him use the Rossetta Stone stuff. He would love that as well.

Zoe - posted on 02/14/2009

Quoting Ellen:

. He's begging for learning opportunities and starting to become over stimulated studying the world around him.

What kind of enrichment would he benefit from at home?  You could order the free Rosetta Stone demo CD with about 10 different languages to try (my daughter decided on French).

Since your son loves math, check out this program from Stanford.

http://epgy.stanford.edu/courses/math/el...

it has two modes: reinforcement or gifted.  In gifted mode the "motion" programing tracks students progress.  If they get the first two problems right, it jumps to the last in the set.  My daughter has been doing it since kindergarten and LOVES it.  Your school will probably like the reporting tools in that it shows exactly in the 5 strands of cirriculm of math how your son is doing.  I have heard some parents say they are able to keep their kids in public schools now that they can get self-paced instruction that is accelerated. 

It's timed into 20 minute chunks, and it could use it both at the school computers AND at home. (the programing lives on Stanfords computers)

Ellen - posted on 02/14/2009

I know that I was totally seen as the pushy mom all of kinder and part of 1st. The school faught me on almost everything all the time. One day this school year we had a meeting with many school officials over them denying my son access to the accelerated math program even though he had mastered the 1st grade requirements already - apparently he had "off-task behaviors". I had to laugh at that for many reasons. We're all sitting in this meeting and I totally loose it. I not only cry uncontrollably, I end up yelling at the principal, and slamming my hand on the table so hard that it hurt for a few hours later. This is not the normal me, but a year and a half of this battleand I was a little fried. Finally they start trying a few things that I had been asking for. Then they try a few more. I had brought them research and data since he started at the school. Now I was just telling them what they were going to do and if they balked at it I just went up the chain of command. Guess what happened - my interventions worked. He's accelling in school with all the craziness that goes into his day - even the head of the gifted department said he is not like any gifted she has ever met and does not know what to tell her staff to help him. His teacher even likes him now. Moral of the story - last year I was not pushy enough and I had a child who hated to go to school. He begged and cried not to go. He felt "tortured" (his word) at school. This year I became the pushy mom and he's actually somewhat making it. I say somewhat because in the past 2 weeks it seems that the curriculum has slowed to almost a halt and I'm seeing no homework. He's begging for learning opportunities and starting to become over stimulated studying the world around him. I will never old him back again - he was "tortured" and our family was miserable. When he was trapped in his own mind because he was heald back we had nightly fights that some times ended in me having to bear hug restrain him and rock him while his brain raced. I don't recommend restraints unless you've been trained. It's dangerous for the child and for you. I would do anything to have never had him suffer through those moments, but I was trying to ignore the signs I saw. I didn't know how to access the gifted world for him and I was afraid of my child being different. Now that he's formally identified at school we are seen as outcasts for some functions, and I have parents tell me all the time what I'm doing "wrong", but I know what I'm doing right by him. He tells me through his thoughts, actions, emotions. Parents of gifted children have a huge job ahead, but it's worth it. Do what your child is telling you they need.

Deborah - posted on 02/14/2009

So then you read articles such as the following one on cnn.com:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/family/08...

To say it was upsetting is an understatement. They spout data back from 1920s which has been proven inaccurate by many experts of today and they quote sources such as Parents.com which would be equivalent to me using Time Magazine to write my thesis. But this is what is put out in the general public and then will be part of the quoting regime used against us 'pushy' moms. It just gets to the point that I wonder why bother? The cards are so stacked against us.

Lauryan - posted on 02/11/2009

This is on my mind a lot lately too. Like Deborah my child is still a toddler (25 months) and all his learning has been only what he wants to do. Occasionally when he shows an interest I will show him new things within that sphere, but I don't sit and drill him on anything.



And I totally agree that the education systems should be able to focus on each child as they are and not as the average age shows they should be. But we will more likely see Pigs flying backwards in a green and polka-dot sky before that happens, so I have no clue! Personally, I am chilled by the thought that I should limit my child's learning potential and rate of learning just because the very system that should mould future leaders etc cannot/will not cope with our special kids.

Zoe - posted on 02/10/2009

I did when my daughter was in preschool, and I have some regrets.  When she was three, they didn't want to promote her to regular fours, they wanted to put her in Jr. K.  I balked at the price tag, and it was hard to picture my "baby" at a desk and felt she needed more "Montissori-play" time.  There would be plenty of time for desk work.

Then when it was time to graduate from 4s to Kindergarten, they warned me that she was academically ahead, and would be bored the first months in kindergarten.  My mom is a fanatic about our local public school, and told me it was all a sales pitch for their private school (whatever!).  Still, I deliberately did a "summer set-back" - esp in August so she would come in really cold.

Sure enough, she was a little unsure with the new environment, and didn't test quite as well as she had in the spring (with people she was secure with). Suddenly, she was blacklisted as proof that kids with late Sept birthdays shouldn't start when they are four.  She was placed at the young kids table, and it was just understood when she was not finishing her work. Poor pushed baby. HA!  She was just bored and as the work was too easy, why not talk?  (yeah, she had gotten bad habits from never being challenged!)  I was pretty mad that unlike the private school, the public one wasn't interested in the previous teacher's evaluations.  (Apparently what they are doing NOW is all that counts.  HA, there is always a background or setting... and it tells you a lot!)

I told her if she didn't get her work done, no recess! (funny, she got it done).  And we did some homeschooling in the afternoons.

The teacher was amazed at how fast she learned to read, and how quickly her book level took off.  Every couple of months they tested her, and it would JUMP ahead.  Only then did it "click" why I had started my "baby" a "year early", and she was one of the top students in her class. (The other gifted kids in her kinder class were 9 months older than her, and came in reading.)

Yes, there is a 10% drop out rate with gifted kids, but if you asked an averaged kid to sit in the special ed classroom, you wouldn't expect them to "sink or swim".  You would expect them to drop out.  There is a myth in this country that if you are gifted, you have all the answers and all the emotional maturity to work it out on your own.  Well, Carol Dweck is showing that coaching students with "you are so smart" hurts performance drastically.  How many gifted kids are told "you are such a hard worker?".  We can hope this generation is served better, and learns better work habits. (not to mention is supported emotionally)

Deborah - posted on 02/09/2009

I have been pondering this myself and my child is a toddler but I just don't know how much doors I should open up for her. I hesitated to get her older puzzles and it was not until reading Ruf's book that I realized I have no idea if she could do them by the age they cited because she never had them in the house. So I went out and bought some puzzles and she quickly put them together which made me feel like a bad mommy for not giving them to her sooner. So now I buy her a lot of different things to try but at the same time I still ponder if I should since I know she will be bored in school due to the stuff she has at the house and the knowledge she already has. She starts preschool in the fall and I find myself hoping that that isn't too much acadmics and more play b/c I looked at the curriculum and she can already do all of that. In some areas such as math she is grade 1 or 2 and her verbal is through the roof and equates to a 6 or 7 year old. But her reading ability is at kindergarten level but not quite 1st grade since she doesn't technically read at this point. She has a lot of memorized words and can sound out letters but not true phonics. But she is not even 2 1/2 yet so by the time she is in kindergarten who knows what level she will be at.



The sad thing is we as parents shouldn't have to hold them back. The public schools should teach to the individuals and not regulate them by age but I don't see that happening anytime soon so I too ponder how much is too much? And on the other side of things is her determination to learn. For the most part she has picked up everything on her own. She learned her ABC at 9 mths by coming up with book after book and asking what's this? and what's that? Until she understood the entire alphabet. She just instinctly knew her numbers by playing with buttons on a shirt and figured out her right and left by putting shoes on everyday. So the big question for me is how do I hold her back when she pulls knowledge from everyday events?



So great question but sad as I too ponder it and get frustrated because we really shouldn't have to hold our children back.

Jamie - posted on 02/09/2009

I teach my son what he asks to learn but I don't really go much beyond that for now.  I want to but since he's already bored to tears in class I don't want to make that worse.

I did get him tested for gifted because I know that in his case he needs an education that is different from the normal classroom.  I had him tested so that he has the chance to live up to his potential....be that househusband or scientist.