how do you get your gifted kindergRTENER TO REALIZE SHE IS NOT BETTER THAN ALL THE OTHER KIDS?

Misty - posted on 05/29/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My 6 year old is the only gifted kindergartener who is tested gifted. So now all of a sudden she is the smartest person in the world and wants to tell everyone but she is hurting her friends feelings. I know she is smarter but her maturity level is that of a six year old. when she was tested this year she came out with an iq score of 150 and I don't exactly know what to do with her!!!

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Mandi - posted on 05/31/2010

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I also try to make sure my daughter tried lots of things she is not naturally gifted at - for her that is sporty stuff. This gives me something great to refer back to when I am talking about peoples different talents and also when trying to show her how others might feel when she says how good she is at something compared to them. We talk about how hard she had to practice to learn to ride her scooter, or how it feels when others overtake you in a race (she is a young kindergarten and always beaten by the bigger kids!) She has a natural talent for reading etc but other have to work hard on it and should be proud of their efforts, we focus on her not doing anything that makes others feel bad - so hard at 6! Good luck.

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Jami - posted on 10/30/2012

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I never told my son he tested gifted (suspected highly gifted until he can restest next year or the year after) he already knew he was different then the other kids but it wasn't really until I explained to him that everyone is better at different things, for him it's words and visual learning. Other kids in his class were better at writing (he always wants "fancy" letters so his handwritting is pretty cruddy) a lot of other kids are way more coordinated etc.



I think it really helped once he got into the gifted pull outs, he was challenged, had a "real" peer group and so was able to cut the normal kids a little slack.



He's in first grade now and has a lot of friends and does not suffer from lack of playmates at recess like he did last year.

Tammyheck - posted on 10/20/2012

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You shouldn't have told her she tested gifted. When my child tested gifted in K, we didn't mention to him why he was being tested. When he started reading at age 3 (independently) we didn't tell him he was doing something that the other children around him weren't doing. I do believe that we can create monsters if we give too much praise (to gifted kids or not gifted) to our children. They might be more special to us, but in God's eyes they are not better than anyone else.

Sandra - posted on 09/30/2012

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One of my son's was like this. I don't think he would actually tell people that he was smarter than them, but he would point out when people were wrong children or adults. We didn't have a gifted program but he did participate on the academic teams. There was one for 4H, one for math, and one for general knowledge. They competed throughout the year with other schools across the state. One of his best friends (also gifted) and he always flip flopped throughout the year for 1st and 2nd place. He never had any hard feelings towards his friend that I know of and it did him a lot of good to realize that he will not always be the smartest.

Sandra - posted on 09/01/2012

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For gifted kid- I think they best way to show her she is not necessarily the smartest kid in the room is to go out of your way to find a situation in which she might not be the smartest kid in the room. Honestly, if she's testing in the 150s she *is* smarter than her peers. That doesn't mean they are not better at some things than she is, or that she is a better person...and differences in how people think and their points of view are needed to make up the world. BUT... with a gifted and bright kid, the best way to show her she aint "all that" is to show her there are other kids like her.

Don't rely on school for this. Seek out areas where there may be more GT kids. Try a camp for it. An after-school math or science program. Lego clubs. Robotics clubs. Something that draws kids with interests beyond their peers together.

Right now, she might just be the smartest in the room.

Just watch out that she doesn't decide not to try new things because she is afraid of failing. Perfectionism is crippling to the very bright.

But don't make her try new things just so she can learn to fail. Life will eventually knock her down a few pegs. Don't do it in advance.

T. Maenad - posted on 08/23/2012

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My now 15 year old daughter was this kid in Kindergarten. It was a full day Kindergarten and they had a teacher as well as an assistant. If the adults were both busy the kids would ask my daughter because they knew she would know the answer. I put her in a gifted 1st grade so she would not be the smartest kid in the room. I tried to find things for her NOT to be good at. She swims because she has to work really hard at it to be middle of the pack. As she's grown, I've found it's as important to teach her how to fail and pick herself up afterward as it was to recognize her intellectual gifts. She would come home and say "I'm the smartest!" I would turn around and ask her "Who is the most polite?" "Who helps the teacher the most?" "Who is the neatest?"

I used to spend time trying to figure out how to cut her down to size because she was brimming with self confidence and had an almost bullet-proof ego.

A brain is something you are given. Praise the things she has to put effort into.

I didn't find a room full of kids smarter than my daughter until middle school when I sent her to a month long summer camp for math for kids who want to be mathematicians. It was the best money I ever spent. Strange as it sounds, it was really good for her to spend a month being one of the "slower" kids in the room.

I-Fan - posted on 09/10/2010

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Did you tell her she's gifted? If you emphasize how all kids have different strengths she'll get the idea quickly. Sometimes you have to help it along. While encouraging her to excel academically, find a hobby or interest that she has to work at. It's a great lesson to learn that hard work can result in achievement even at such a young age. Maybe she'd like step dancing or drawing or soccer. Keep looking until you find something she likes that she's not naturally good at. Point out to her that some kids have to work hard to read etc.. just like she has to work hard to jump high, swim fast, draw a face etc...

Jennifer - posted on 09/09/2010

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If possible, find a school where she isn't the only gifted kid. I moved my daughter from the neighborhood elementary to a magnet elementary downtown with a gifted magnet. In the gifted magnet, she is one of a group of kids who is very smart, so she can't lord it over anyone. She is challenged and is making tons of friends.

I-Fan - posted on 06/12/2010

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Find her a challenge! What isn't she good at.. there's something. My daughter found swimming a great challenge. I wanted her to learn to work for something and she did. that work ethic has carried her through life. why does your daughter know she's the smartest kid in the world? Let her know that there will always be people smarter and dumber than she is and it's not a bad time to explain the different types of giftedness either!

Sandy - posted on 06/12/2010

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My daughter was qualified for gifted in kindergarten too. The nice thing about having her in the gifted program was that she realized that there are other people as smart as her. She even found kids that knew things she didn't know. The gifted program helps the psychological side too. I would also put her in sporting events and show her that there are people with physical talents that she didn't have. I told her there are many kinds of talents. It worked and she became a well rounded child and now adult.

Sunshine - posted on 06/11/2010

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Have a frank discussion with her. she's a smarty & needs to be spoken to like an equal- tell her about being a friend, and what tat man & why it's not polite to brag about our tallents. I'm sure she's just excited, I agree with getting her into activities that she's not good at, it adds character & will help her understand that we all have strengths & weaknesses.Just because she tested high, doesn't mean she will perform high, you need to stop telling other adults about her giftedness. That's feeding into her ego. Some gifted childern can get a big head & feel they are too smart & don't need to do the work of learning (I had one with that issue) it's a tightrope you'll have to walk for many years. she's young & you will both find the balance you need. good luck!

Heather - posted on 06/04/2010

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My son has the same issues. It is also because she might be younger emotionally/socially than her peers. Being gifted tends to bring other quirks and issues. Check out www.thinkingsocialsv.com

Rachael - posted on 05/29/2010

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Everyone is good at different things. Some kids are good at school things, like you. Some kids are good at art things. Some kids are good at sports things. Its great that you're really smart. And you're pretty special, but remember that all your friends and classmates have a special talent too--maybe one that would be hard for you. Think about that.

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