How to approach kindergarten

Mary - posted on 10/21/2009

Hi Cassandra,
I was happy to hear about your little one starting school and how smart she is. I was a kindergarten aide and I know the school test them before they actually start school. They also usually have the teacher to go to the home and meet the kids that had not actually taken the test to get to know the child. They also test the child soon after school starts. I can tell your child is very very smart! I'm sure they will notice quite quickly! God Bless! ;-)

Sandra - posted on 08/30/2009

I fyou know who her teacher will be I suggest discussing it with her, as well as the Gifted and Talented coordinator for the school, or even the district. Letting them know you are going to be a strong advocate for your child makes them take you more seriously than if you wait until he is already in class to discuss it.

And get used to being thought of as one of "those parents". It will happen: even if you are desparately trying to keep up with your child's self-directed pace there wiull be people who think you are pushing.

Cathy - posted on 08/29/2009

Thank you all for the encouraging words. I have read them all with silent interest. My son is 3 and a half, starting Monessori (the closest thing I can get to playschool here) in a week & I'm terrified because of his emotional maturity (gets frustrated & upset at the drop of a hat). Waiting for psychology assessment (bloody waiting lists), & won't have it in time, but school seems really nice & open. Since we live in a country where stating your opinion or pushing for services is not culturally done, I'm expecting a long road ahead, but it's nice to hear from like-minded parents about the value of standing up for your child. Thanks all& good luck!

Tammy - posted on 08/28/2009

These posts have been very helpful! My son is 4 and reading at a 4th grade level, doing simple math, spelling, and teaching everyone he knows about dinosaurs. Not the standards like t-rex, but the ones even we have trouble pronouncing and spelling! Being a former teacher, I was aware of how teachers respond to being told about "gifted" children, but being on this side now, I have to worry more about what is best for my son and not what someone thinks of me. Our pediatrician said, and I've heard some of you say the same...we must be our child's advocate. We know what they are capable of and must do what's best for them...even if we are labled one of "those parents."

Dawn - posted on 08/25/2009

I would not wait. We had a talk with our daughter's teacher at the first conference. She thought that we just filling her a line of bull that our daughter taught herself how to read and was already reading at a 2nd grade level. You know what is best for your child. We had to push for them to test her and her teacher tried to tell us that she was not gifted. We didn't buy it and she was put in the gt program against her teacher's wishes. Now she is in the 3rd grade and she is reading at a Junior High level. She does excellent in everything class, Grammer, Math, Social Studies, Science, etc. If we would have listened to her, we would have had a lot of problems because she would not have been getting the education she deserves.

Kelli - posted on 08/25/2009

This is EXACTLY where I am right now. My son will be 5 a few days after school starts in September, reads Level 4 and 5 books with ease, does simple arithmetic for fun, is teaching himself how to tell time, and yet I was "poohpoohed" when I told his teacher at K orientation last week. I'm terrified!!

Definitely do not wait to discuss this with the teacher. But I'm not sure what the right way would be, since I really messed up. Actually, it was worse than that. I bawled (not a crying person) when I tried to talk to the teacher after she dismissed my concerns ("We teach to the whole child... fine motor skills, socialization....etc"). My oldest is nearly 20, is gifted and was slowly and methodically encouraged to be "average" and to keep to the middle. I fought against it for years and I guess it all came out in one blubbering mess that day.

I know there are plenty of teachers out there that would know how to successfully integrate a gifted child into a regular classroom, and perhaps mine and yours can do it, but I can understand how hesitant you feel. I really encourage you to approach the teacher and perhaps the principal, as well, during an appointment where it can be fully discussed. (Exactly the opposite of me!!!) Let us know how it goes!

Christine - posted on 08/05/2009

I worried about the same thing when my oldest started kindergarten already reading chapter books. I brought IQ test results to our first conference at the beginning of the year and informed the teacher of her reading ability. I could see her tense up, however, and left the meeting feeling discouraged. Sure enough, the year did not go well. This teacher had chronic fatigue syndrome. She would bring my daughter to my car every day after school saying, "this was not a good day" and tell me she "never listens, she's always last, etc." I tried to be supportive of the teacher. Meredith & I made a list of rules for her to obey that she could refer to at school, like sit criss cross applesauce and keep her eyes on the teacher at all times, try to be first, etc. But at the same time, no accommodations were ever made for her. She did letter people with the rest of the class, even though at home she was reading Charlottes Web! (I was surprised find out that this same teacher was bragging to parents at kindergarten roundup that she had one child at a fifth grade reading level!) First grade was more of the same, after which my daughter expressed dismay that she was "always bad at school." This from a child that was getting all "A's" We tried a gifted school for three years, but eventually caved at the prohibitively high tuition. She went to a private Christian school for the next three years and will be entering public school for the first time in the fall for 9th grade. I think the best thing to do as a parent of a gifted child is to offer lots of enrichment in their areas of interest. You need to be their advocate at school, but there's only so much you can expect from any school. At every school, no matter how good it is, there will be some less than great teachers. If your child feels your unconditional love and gets to progress in their areas of interest (through clubs, classes, etc.), they will be fine. Truth be told, it's not easy to be a highly gifted kid (or the parent of one). But I believe the rewards will pay off in adulthood!

Debby - posted on 08/05/2009

No, I would definitely bring it up to her teacher, she can keep an eye on your daughter and see how she does. I would also bring it up that you would be interested in having her tested, just to see what the results are. I wouldn't worry about being perceived as that kind of mom, I volunteer at my daughter's school and there are so many parents who are not involved at all sometimes it's refreshing to have a parent who is actually interested in their child's education!

Tiffany - posted on 08/04/2009

I'm sorry, What's wrong with being one of "those parents?" Both my mother and sister are teachers of K-2nd grade and I hear them complaining more about inactive uncaring parents then I do about "those parents." I'm sure its refreshing to have a parent take an active roll in their student's life. So stop worrying about being one of those parents and be one already!

Rebekah - posted on 07/29/2009

When my son started in his preschool I was very cautious about being one of "those moms" and didn't say anything about what he could do. It was apparent quickly enough and his teachers were very good and interested in challenging him. However, I am already gearing up for when he's ready for Kindergarten and I do think we will end up talking to teachers/administrators before we even choose a school. One thing you could do is phrase it something like, "She is really looking forward to school and is really excited about reading and math, she's been doing..." It puts the emphasis on it's something *she* likes to do and you can still mention her ability without coming across as accusing the teacher of not being prepared for your daughter and starting off on the wrong foot. Then of course you must assess how things go once school starts and see how your daughter deals with (undoubtedly) repetition of basic concepts and busy work. If it's not going well don't be afraid to push for changes. Best of luck to you!

Angela - posted on 07/27/2009

Just don't do what I did. I filled out the paperwork last spring while sitting in the tiny chairs in the elementary school library with my husband and almost 5 year old sitting, watching me. I didn't know what to write, so I rambled. I wrote about Carter . . .



I didn't want to sound like one of "those" parents, but I wanted his teacher to know that he could read, and that he loved learning. I wrote about how concerned I was about how they grouped children. How did they figure out where to put the students? How did they teach some children who didn't even know their shapes and others who understood relatively complex ideas and could write short, complete sentences, and do basic math? After rambling for awhile, I realized I had become one of "those" parents, and I had written in ink. I turned in the paper.



Then I went home and emailed an apology, but I used my school email address because the school's server was faster. Again, I rambled a bit. I sent the email. Then I realized that it had my automatic signature on it which identifies me as an AP teacher, something that won't endear me to Carter's teacher, especially after everything else I had done that day.



It was a bad day, and I'm sure I made a bad first impression. I'm usually VERY laid back. As for what you should do, I would have an honest discussion with the teacher, but don't put anything in writing. ;-)

Mandi - posted on 07/27/2009

My daughter started kindergarten this year and her teacher has been excellent. I did tell her that she could read - I got the expected response, but within a a week or so of settling in she had seen the reading for herself and arranged to have her seen by the reading teachers to be assess for proper reading levels and by end of term the teacher had asked if they could have her formally assessed. SO far it is all going great - she loves school, making friends and doing a mixture of things at different levels - she is in no way bored as she is a kid who loves to read, colour etc and is happy to do that but they are also putting a differentiated program in place to extend her in the afternoon sessions a few afternoons a week.



I think much depends on the school system and your teacher! It's a difficult line to walk as a parent - I walked in the first day to have a friends child say loudly to the teacher - "here comes my friend, she's only 4 but very smart!"

I hope all goes well :)

Cindy - posted on 07/26/2009

I would talk to the teacher, and see if they will test your child and they should. You may have to take a very active role to make sure you child is challenged and make sure they are not using her to help the other children that will be in "K" and aren't ready for "K". This is what a "K" teacher told us would happen. I did not want my child at a stand still in her education, so we chose to homeschool. I do have friends that kept theirs in public schools and one family had to talk to the teacher all the time about ways to keep her child challenged, another had her child put in the gifted school in 2nd grade, which is the earliest that can be done here, another just let the school do what they want with the child and progression slowed down. Most likely the teacher will think "sure everyone thinks their child is smart" It is up to you to pave the way for your child, do not ever assume that the school will do what is best for her.