Introductions

Mary - posted on 05/29/2013

Hi - I am new to this site. I have a 5 yr old bright , sweet, funny, amazing little boy. I have been riding a roller coaster since he was 2. He has always learned things faster than others and I have heard how "bright " he is since he was 2, but downplayed it because every child learns at differnt levels/times... Anyway, he has always been the best easy going kid except for the 1 %of the time that he gets soooo mad. I discussed it with his pediatrician and found ways to handle time outs for him. He never has been able to calm himself down once he gets in this "rage", but after a few tweaks on the Dr.s suggestion and a month of his anger, he stopped having the rage. Then a few months before he turned 3, wham, the same thing. Same thing at 4. This past year, he skipped the normal timing of the anger phase, and just as I thought he had outgrown it, it showed its ugly head again. I took him to the pediatrician and she recommended a psychologist. In our area, there wasn't anyone who would take a child that young and if they did, they weren't taking new patients. After getting the pediatrician involved again to help me find someone, a month later I had an appointment with a counselor. I really wanted a specialist, but tried it anyway.
In the meantime, he has tested and gotten into an academically advanced public school in the area. His preschool teacher suggested that his outbursts could be because he is so bored. I have added more challenging activities to our day. I have not had him tested for giftedness, though.
Anyway, after a month of going to this counselor, not much has changed. He still has these rages (last one at the zoo where I had to carry him partly out of with all those nasty looks from others who don't understand). She has tested him (not a gifted test) and says he is very bright and the school he will be attending in August will be great. Today, we went in for our weekly appointment and after hearing about the latest tantrum/rage, suggested we see a psychiatric nurse in the same building...she thinks he is bi-polar and may need medication. She gave me a book to read while she talked with my son. After the first chapter, I realized that I didn't agree with the diagnosis. She explained to me that she wasn't sure if he was bi-polar or not, but still suggested I see the psychiatric nurse.
After mulling it over and reading more of this book The Bipolar Child, I have come to realize that it is not my son. Nothing specifically triggers these rages- its not overstimulation or what he ate or not being able to transition - its something different each time and not at the same time of ay fr any of them. they are sporatic and over nothing at all - to me. I started more research on the Internet and came across this site. Thank you!
I still don't know if he is "gifted" but have read You can't Make Me (dealing with the strong willed chld) and this sounds more like him coupled with being very bright or even gifted rather than bi-polar. I could be very very. Wrong, but I trust my gut.
I am going to try the approach for the strong willed child (some have worked since the zoo incident) with discipline and talking with him. I am cancelling my next appointments with the counselor and after a month, I will assess how things are going.
Thank you for a forum that doesn't judge or compare, just helps with advice, stories, examples, and most of all -- helping me realize that my gut matters and that I can get through this and help him and there are others like me struggling, at my wits end, sometimes feeling like a failure. Thank you for changing my awful day into one of hope.

Wanda - posted on 01/25/2013

I knew my son was gifted when he started talking. He did not start talking until 2 but began with complete sentences. I thought something was wrong with him as a baby because the crayon had to be in his hand a certain way. Things just had to line up with him. As he got older, I noticed things like how fast he was picking up on stuff and learning.

I would talk to the doctor and he would say maybe he has a mild case of autism. Needless to say, I left that doctor and went with another that understood my concerns. Since then, he continues to blow me away with the stuff he learns and does. He is very stubborn though and has an anger problem. He told me the other day he does not know why he does the things he does but knows it is wrong. I agree, there is no test for children this young as I have searched high and low.

He was born early 3 weeks early via C-Section due to growth problems (IUGR) and being breach.

Joy - posted on 01/18/2013

Hello again, everyone! I tried to go back and find what I posted here before, but there are too many posts and I don't know how to search. So I will just call this an update and apologize if I'm repeating myself. :) I myself am Gifted, and so are both of my sons, ages 20 and 17. I tell people that I always wanted 6 kids; my oldest is my first one, and my youngest is the other five.

I taught myself to read at age 3. In 1st grade I had an 8th grade reading level. By 3rd grade I had read every book in the school library and started in on the encyclopedias. In those days Gifted education was called "give the smart kid extra work" and I did a lot of extra work. By 4th grade I had learned not to draw attention to myself and would often deliberately spell words wrong during spelling bees so I could get out of the spotlight. But this is about being a Mom, so on to my sons...

I should mention that the grade school my sons attended uses the "schoolhouse" model in which each teacher teaches two grades (K&1, 2&3, 4&5) and working at the student's own pace is strongly encouraged and facilitated. Particularly in reading and math, students are grouped by skill level regardless of grade level. "Olders" help "Youngers" and it is very much like the one-room schoolhouse that my Grandmother taught at many years ago.

My oldest son was tested in 1st grade, no one told him that the test was "important", so he didn't take it seriously and was declared "borderline Gifted". When he was in 3rd grade I tried to talk him into doing testing again and he replied, "No, Mom. I enjoy being the smartest person in the room." He was finally tested at the end of 4th grade and this time there was no doubt he was well within the Gifted range. So he came home and said "I have infinity intelligence." to which I replied, "I have infinity intelligence too and I had it first!" We think very much alike and are often "accused" of sharing a brain. He is currently a Sophomore in college, studying to become a high school English teacher. His biggest failing is he rushes through tests as quickly as possible and refuses to review his answers or double check his work; I keep telling him it isn't a competition to see who finishes first. He can write a fabulous essay in no time flat, however. In fact, during high school he wrote a "choose your own topic" essay at literally the last minute before it was due, on the topic of procrastinating the assignment. (His teacher loved the creativity and originality and gave him top marks.) I vividly recall when he came home from school one day in 3rd grade and said, "Mom, you are the only person who gives me the respect I deserve!" I didn't know whether to be glad he recognized that I did, or sad that he thought no one else was.

My younger son has never been tested because he was a behavior problem (hence my referring to him as "the other five") and by the time we got the behavior under control he was at a point in his schooling that the Gifted program in our school system really would not have enhanced his education. However, I have always known he was just as intelligent as his older brother. In 1st grade the teachers tried to label him as ADHD but the school principal (of 30 years experience) said in his professional opinion that was not the case. We simply needed to get to the core reason for the behaviors that were occurring. So I sat my child down and asked him how I, as his mother, could help him to be better behaved in school. The child was stunned; he had never realized anyone could help. Slowly, methodically, eventually, together with his teachers we developed some very sophisticated behavior modification techniques that took years to perfect. I often say I should publish a book about it. We began with daily behavior reports (a system I know for a fact his 2nd grade teacher still uses, 10 years later, with her most "challenging" students). The key here is persistence and consistency! He now looks at his fellow students and says, "Thanks for fixing me, Mom. Now, can you do something about my classmates?"

My boys are as different from each other as night and day. The oldest scorned organized activities from an early age, saying they were "for little kids", and is happiest alone. He likes variety in his routine. The youngest thrives on responsibility and routine, plays organized sports, and cannot stand to be alone. Variety in his routine makes him irritable.

I forget to check my email and the group posts, so I welcome people if you want to add me as fb friend to talk about our kids and trade ideas. I am always willing (sometimes a little too much LOL!) to help others from the benefit of my experience. My best piece of advice is to respect your children as human beings and teach them to respect themselves, other people, and most especially their Mom!

Tara - posted on 01/18/2013

Update on my oldest who is now going on 9yrs old. He lost the ability to remember hold his pencil right as well as his letters, simple math, and write/spell his full name all of which he knew before 2 by the time he was 33months. There were other things as well. He had been diagnosed with adhd with odd before 4 but by 6 he was fully diagnosed with Aspergers. He is the one that by 33mo was tested at a 5yr 11.5mo level even with the autistic symptoms starting. He went into kindergarten knowing O and X fully and B, E and N 50% of the time. By the end of first month he not only knew all his letters again but was reading. By end of 1st quarter he was reading at a 1st grade level, by the end he was reading at a 3rd grade level and above grade on math. The teacher sucked, always only ever gave tin-can answers on him and actually told us " the squeaky wheel gets the grease" so since he didn't disrupt class she ignored him. The 1st grade teacher we loved, he worked with Ben and since he had been a 2nd grade teacher the year before , still had stuff. He let Ben work at his own pace as well as refreshed normal 1st grade stuff. By mid year, he was tested and got a 200/200 on reading and 198/200 on math, well above nation, state and school average. He was reading at a 5th grade level by then which is the highest the school could test him at and doing early 3rd grade math. The school refused to jump him based on not academic but social so he went into 2nd and was totally bored and started acting out a bit, nothing bad. He now has a 504 plan for just such occasions. At the end of 2nd they tested all kids (testing starts in 2nd, the test in 1st was a referral by his teacher). Ben scored 200/200 on both reading and math that go round with what they were sure was a 6-7th grade reading level and a late 5th grade comprehension. He loves to draw but like me hates to write, so it's a chore to get him to do his homework most the time. He's working on on decimals and fractions and multi digit multiplication and division in 3rd now which seems boring to him since he was working on beginning algebra last year.

Amy - posted on 01/18/2013

Getting this post reminded me that I wanted to give an update on my 15 yr old son and his algebra problems. Come to find out, he's highly gifted and has inattentive ADD which is common in the highly intelligent. With puberty, his brain has really changed and he can no longer focus on the simple stuff. So he has an extremely tough time writing out the algebra problems. He's had problems in the past with writing assignments because of the difference in speeds between brain and hands. But with my research, I have found out it's common in the gifted community not to be able to write out your work. As I explained to the principal that he cannot pay attention in class because of the slow pace and going over all of the simple problems, he is mislearning every day he sits in the class. The principal is now letting him take an on-line course where he doesn't have to write out the work and he is acing every test. He reads the chapter one day, does a few problems and takes the test the next day. I've figured out he needs to move at a fast pace in order to learn accurately. So if I would not have advocated for him, he would be failing Algebra II/Trig right now. My advice is keep advocating for your kids because if you don't, no one will.

Ariel - posted on 01/18/2013

Finding this group has been very helpul. I have 2 boys - 2 and 5 years old. We are just discovering a lot of what we thought are intensely challenging traits are part of being 'gifted' and that makes it easier. :)

We just spent the past 8 months trying to figure out how to help our older son enjoy school. He hates circle time, has had a hard time self-soothing and seek a lot of attention...oh and for awhile he was slurring his words. After months in OT thinking he had a sensory integration problem (which he may, but doesn't fit any of the classic descriptions) and then a speech evaluation, the school psychologist has summed up the conclusion that he's likely to be highly gifted and this is the cause of his 'difficult' classroom behavior. IE, he squirms during circle time, often tries to convince teacher that her rules need updating, seeks to be center of attention.

My husband and i both were in 'gifted' programs as kids. I hated school as a child and was constantly getting in trouble. I hope my son is more like his father in attitude!

BTW, he's 5 and he's barely reading. But, apparently, his vocabulary is advanced as is his spacial and sequencing abilities. He loves animals and knows more facts about them and geography than i do. But, because he wasn't reading at a young age, i never presumed intelligence had anything to do with his intensity.

I want to scream out to worried moms, that if their kid is intense, emotional, overly curious, defiant, argumentative, poorly coordinated, 'uneven' -that it may not be some sensory integration disorder or ADHD, but it maybe 'gifted' which, yes, is it's own problem, but one to cherish.

He's highly sensitive to thoughts of death, outer space - he gets scared of seeing stars because the thought of what is beyond them doesn't make any sense. At 3 he became a vegetarian because we answered his question as to where meat came from. He gets scared of rollercoasters and even heights sometimes. But, he's very social and has not had problems making friends. He does have fear of 'violent boys' - ie, the physically more capable ones.

Sorry for the longwinded intro - but i know reading about your kids has helped me!

Stephanie - posted on 10/19/2012

Hi everyone,

My son, Henry, is only 2 months old, so we have no idea whether or not he will be academically gifted. I joined this blog because I teach gifted children at a school that is only for gifted children. I was interested to hear more parent perspectives to better understand my students and hopefully can chime in from time to time with my many years of experience as a g/t teacher.

Nicole - posted on 08/24/2012

Hello everyone. My name is Nicole but I go by Cola. My 6 year old son Kaden just recently tested Gifted and it's been nothing but trouble since. Before the test he had 2 teachers actually want me to medicate him for ADHD because he wouldn't pay attention to them. I've had to fight (and I mean to the point of almost name calling) to finally get someone to agree that yes being in the 97th percentile for quantative, 96th for non verbal, 91st for verbal and 97th for the all around score (whatever that is) does in fact mean he's gifted. And just because I agree he's gifted doesn't mean he's the smartest and best behaved child ever. IN fact, just the opposite I found. I now understand that grounding Kaden for every little behavior issue in class does not fix the problem no matter how many people (and yes this does happen) swear that if I just grounded him more or spanked him he would be fine. I am finding it is difficult to parent a gifted child, especially an emotionally intense child like Kaden. All I can say is thank GOODNESS I found this group because I really was beginning to question my sanity! Sorry for the vent lmfao.

Jennifer - posted on 08/24/2012

Hello!

My name is Jennifer and i am new to the site. I have a gifted 7 year old that just started 3rd grade. This is the first year that she will be a part of the GATE program, and i am curious as to what i should expect. As parents of GATE students do you feel that your children are getting adequately challenged by being in the program, or do you feel the need to compensate with added education at home?

Becca - posted on 06/12/2012

Could this site be better organized, perhaps by date, newest posts first? I am finding it extremely frustrating to navigate around the postings. I frequently get notified that someone replied to my post, then follow the link and her post has nothing to do with mine! We could "talk" better if this was organized. Thanks!

Becca - posted on 06/12/2012

Dear Amy,
I hope your son does well in high school. I am not familiar with all the classifications nowadays, but it sounds like he will need a tutor in Algebra to help him "see" it. That was my problem. I am a very visual person and a writer, and people who teach math usually are not. If you can find a good tutor who can explain it to him visually it will help. On the other hand, geometry I got --I could see it! It might help to relate math to things he can see---the curve of a bridge or a skateboard is determined with math.
If he still struggles, help him find his talents and don't make him think he has to be an engineer because he's bright! News flash! Gifted kids aren't all alike , any more than average kids are. Perhaps he's a writer, a poet, a painter, etc. once he escapes public school he can be himself.
Best to you!

Kristen - posted on 06/12/2012

Greetings! Just found this site, and joined specifically for this group here. I wish I could be more open as to my own name and my children's names, but I will have to introduce myself as Ms. A, and my children as Son- B and Daughter- C. B is 10 years old, and my reason for joining. He taught himself to read at age 3 (Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?). I casually mentioned to one of his daycare teachers that he read the book at story time the previous night, and she so nicely said that he was reciting from memory, not actually reading. A few days later, I brought a piece of paper with random words written on it, and asked her to point at the words in a random order, asking him to read them. she did, and he did. He also flipped the paper over, held the paper up tot he light and proceeded tor ead the words backwards. Something I had never even seen him do before, but he said he was doing it the night before 'for fun'. He has been in split grades throughout his school years (is currently in a 4/5 class, though he is in grade 4). They always give him work from the other grade level when he completes his own. A efw weeks ago he randomly asked me if he could skip a grade or two next year because he's so bored and wants to learn something for once. After a talk with his teachers, we decided to toss him into French Immersion next year. All the other children have been in Frnech Immersion since grade 1, but we all feel confident that he will catch up quickly. I'm pretty sure after grade 5 FI we will be looking for a new way to keep his attention in school. For now, he has been playing teacher to his little sister who is behaving in a similar way to the way he did at her age, though she has yet to build a block tower 20 blocks high and count it for me. Grade 5 is the year the school's do gifted testing. I have never had the money laying around to be able to afford testing beforehand, but it never really seemed necessary as I'm just going ahead on the assumption that he is gifted and assisting him as such. I am a recently single Mom, and I confess that I may just spend a little too much time surfing the internet.



Oh, also my son wants to be a Veterinarian, and has already mapped out what high school courses he needs to get into undergrad school (and which one he wants) and also how much

money it will cost between undergrad and the vet university.

.

.

.

I'm probably in way over my head.



(Edited: I just reread what I wrote and it seems as though I cannot form a coherant paragraph tonight. lol My apologies. It is late. I may edit for that tomorrow.)

Amy - posted on 06/12/2012

I have a 14 year old son who I recently found out was a right brained visual-spatial learner. This learning style has a lot of implications for learning, one of them being they have a hard time processing simple mental tasks. Algebra has been a challenge among other things in Jr. High so we have had him tested. The psychiatrist has diagnosed him as probable for ADD on the simple tests. I think his intelligence masked it all of these years. So with the tests we now know he is trully gifted but also carries this learning deficit. He wants nothing to do with medication. Does anyone else have a VSL learner that benefited from medication? He'll be taking algebra II next year and I would like to make it easier for him. If the meds help, it would be worth it. Or does anyone have any experience with options other than medication?
On another note, looking back, I do not think the public school system is really equipped to handle these gifted kids. I wish I knew back then what I know now. But high school does offer the high level classes, so I'm hoping school will improve over Jr. High.

Toni - posted on 06/08/2012

Hi All well my 25 month dd is gifted (we think) people have always commented on how alert she was but of course she didn't walk until 15 months and speak until 23 months so we just though maybe she was a little advance in some areas and that was it. Of course it turns out this was her perfectionism shining through, we knew something was off when as soon as she could walk she started throwing and catching objects properly and not by accident, even though I had a feeling she was a bit different I tried to quell those feelings telling myself I was just like every other proud mom - living in NZ it's a very tough place to stand out. Anyway.... took her in as part of a science study we volunteered for last week and of course expected to get told she was 6 months ahead and that she was bright. Results came back she was at the maximum end of the test which was designed for 5 year olds, they don't offer higher testing for toddlers because it's not relevant to the study they are doing but after a bit of a freak out it explains so much. She scored really high in visual comprehension so I'm now going through lots of activity books trying to find puzzles that I can change the rules to make them easier to understand. We got a bit of shock when a few days after she started talking she named 8 colours accurately and starting naming and counting numbers plus saying some letters. none of this was taught to her aside from story books at night where she points to thing she is interested in and we tell her what it is, at the moment it's letters. I worry because she does everything right to left and I think this might hold her back when she learns to read. Hubby thinks I should have noticed when she started insisting reading her books and doing her jigsaws upside down :-) At any rate I feel bad that she has been really understimulated and no wonder she finds the tv so interesting. We try and give her lots to play with but clearly it'snot enough. Anyway nice to be able to explore this without hiding

Rosanne - posted on 04/26/2012

Hi all. Just found this forum. I will take more time this weekend to look around properly and see how the etiquette works and all. My daughter turned 6 on April 14th. She is nearly finished with first grade. She made the cut off for testing for early kindergarten by two days so I'm pretty sure she was the youngest "legal" (haha) kindergartener in the state last year. If I'm wrong about that that's okay too. Anyway, I'll get into more details about her later but she is truly and painfully gifted. Her academic level is around the third grade level and I think she has some kind of special memory since she can remember the exact wordings of books after one reading (not lengthy chapter book).

I am practically in tears though because I feel so alone. Her kindergarten teacher was fabulous but her first grade teacher has been terrible. She doesn't like that my daughter is that gifted. She doesn't like having to teach to her level so she pretends she isn't gifted at all. She officially passed all second grade benchmarks in December. My other daughter is 11 and also gifted, academically and artistically but not to this level. I don't think my daughter has learned much at all this year other than how to bite her lower lip and rip off her fingernails to the quick. She is doing this to deal with her boredom. The principal seems to get it but the teacher won't budge. She doesn't care that she can convert any amount of minutes into the respective hours and fractions of hours or that she can add six or seven multi digit numbers in her head. By golly, my child is not "showing her thinking" to add 6 plus 4. My daughter does draw the stupid pictures but the teacher insists she has to show "more thinking". Heck, I have my daughter be the banker when we play Monopoly or Life and she does all the transactions perfectly.

Anyway... that's the beginning of it. Mostly I was so down and feeling like a failure because I can't seem to help my daughter. I've met with the principal and the AIG teacher along with the classroom teacher but she seems to get the final say even thought the principal agreed with me.

So... I was desperate to share with people who understand. I talk to my family a little but I can't really talk to my other friends who are also parents because it makes it sound like their children are stupid by comparison. They can't really relate to my frustration when my child is already one to one and a half years younger than their kids. It can't help but sound like I'm bragging but really I am practically in tears that my child is being academically tortured by her teacher. She won't let her move ahead. Thanks goodness for the computer programs they do five times a week. That is how she has been able to progress. She is the highest in her grade on the computer programs for math and reading but her teacher has ranked her 10 out of 20 in her class. I know this because I am on the faculty also and she sat next to me at our faculty meeting today with her placement cards out. I didn't say anything to her but I am going to speak with the grade level chair.

She is also in her third year of dance and she is accomplished there as well.

I'd love to homeschool her or send her to private school but I'm a single mom (teacher) and provide the sole income.

Just want to cry. I feel like I am failing my child.

Rosanne

Shauna - posted on 03/14/2012

Hi everyone,

My name is Shauna. I'm the mother of a very bright and creative 4 year old boy named Kiefer. Kiefer is our one and only, I had to have a radical hysterectomy when he was just a baby, so we're unable to have more but simply thankful I was given the chance to be here and raise him =)



We new Kiefer was different from the time he was a baby. He has always been leaps and bounds above what was considered "normal" for his development stage. By 2 he knew all letters of the alphabet and could recognize, name them, and state the sound each letter made, could count to 10, draw shapes and knew all of the main colors plus some advanced ones. More or less, at 2 he knew most of what kids typically learn in preschool.



We have never pushed him into learning, he simply learns things himself, and we encourage and support his interests.



At age 4, he is obsessed with vacuum cleaners, can read simple 3-4 letter words and spell them, remembers events that I have forgotten myself, and the list goes on and on and on I won't babble too much.



Anyways, I find it rough at times, not having other parents to relate to, and feeling if I mention something he is currently doing I may be viewed as bragging which simply is not the case. So happy I found this group.

Shauna

Glynis - posted on 02/28/2012

Hi

Just to let you all know that the kids do turn out ok.Bit of background.I live in Kent England and I did not realise until I was tested in my 40s that I had an IQ of 147.I was a unusual child,asking questions about the moon,shadows etc my mum said when I was a very young child.To the point that when she was pregnant with my sister she had to carry me around as I was scared of so many things I was four.I had ocd in relation to positioning things which my Dad laughed about and still does to this day.My sister was never sympathetic at bedtime when I worried about my mortality and the meaning of life...I eventually decided to become a nurse after leaving school at 16 and having various other career opportunities....banking,fashion industry.I worked with adults who had learning difficulties for over thirty years and loved it.I used many of my skills...communication,language both French and Russian and my artistic ability.Now at nearly 60 and retired I am a lot calmer and not so anxious.My sister is now the neurotic one who worries about everything.Strange how things work out.My youngest son is highly gifted and is in his final year at university and on target to get a 2-1.Even though I say so myself he is a lovely young man.He is kind,thoughtful,tactful,a peacemaker.Intellect is nothing on its own,children have to become well rounded adults.We had problems when he was younger but we got through them and he has come out the other side.

Stephanie - posted on 02/28/2012

Hi I am just joining this group. We always suspected my 6 yo son was gifted but just received the first test results confirming it. So I am looking for way to inspire and challenge him outside of sports where he is also gifted. Our school does have programs but they don't start until 3rd grade. I am happy to be in this group because parenting him has been a challenge! and I need help because he is so different than my daughter.

Lynda - posted on 02/21/2012

Hello, I just joined Circle of Moms, and this is one of the first groups I have joined.



My name is Lynda, and my almost 12yo daughter Katie is highly gifted. She attends the public school and I try to supplement her with museums and learning opportunities as much as possible. She is a talented singer and trombone player. Her preferred sport is indoor soccer. We both have participated in Girls Scouts since kindergarten, and I lead the troop.



Right now I am trying to get Katie into a gifted program on Saturdays, but am hung up trying to get the IQ test it requires.



I am interested in learning about how other moms keep their children engaged in school. Katie's teacher this year is preparing for retirement and can't be bothered to challenge her.

Kelli - posted on 12/31/2011

Hello, Stacey,



I am also new to this board (my intro is just a couple below yours, in fact). It has helped me so much to read the personal experiences from other moms who post here. My daughter is 6 years old, and I have been holding out hope that her extreme temper and sensitivity would get better in the coming years. My daughter's clothing quirk, by the way, is jeans. She just won't wear them -- unless I find the cozy velour kind that are so, so stretchy and soft, and even then they have to feel "just right" or they sit in her closet until she has outgrown them. Doesn't matter how many of her friends wear them -- she just won't budge on the jeans thing. It is so frustrating, because we live in Colorado where it can get bitterly cold; tights and skirts can only keep your legs so warm... but you just have to laugh it off and move on.



It is so nice to hear your daughter is doing better and growing up into a mature, creative young lady. I hope you'll continue to find good information here -- I know your sharing will help others, as well. Enjoy your weekend!

Stacey - posted on 12/30/2011

Hello! I just found this board tonight, so I thought I would introduce myself. I am a mother of a 14-year-old and a two-year-old, both girls. My older daughter is the "gifted" one. It has been a long struggle for me to learn how to deal with my daughter. She has outgrown some quirks, and some have lessened in severity, but those quirks still pop out sometimes!

Sometimes I am a little frustrated when people talk about their gifted children. Often, people don't talk about the difficult things, although I see people talking about them on this board. Things like sensitivity and anxiety. I used to ask God why couldn't I have a normal child, or even, what do I do to mess this kid up? Was I not strict enough? But, I have learned over the years that if I just accept my daughter for who she is, quirks and all, that we can find peace. In fact, I love the way my daughter is turning out.

It has been hard. I hated being the parent of the only third grader who was crying hysterically before the field trip to the state capital. I felt stupid buying only certain socks from Old Navy because otherwise she would not wear socks because they felt funny. What kind of mother gives in to that? How about the years she refused to read fiction because why would would you want to read "stupid stuff that isn't true"? Meanwhile, she will write a book about penguins because she wants to for fun, not for school.

My daughter has to be sedated to go the dentist, and even then, she is completely awake on the meds and may still freak out. Several times, I had to pick her up from sleepovers because she was too anxious to stay, to the point of throwing up.

I had to pull her out of the gifted program because they wanted to pull her from her core classes for enrichment. Just because she is "gifted" doesn't mean she can teach herself algebra. I can't tell you how many times her teachers will tell me academically things are fine, but she asks to go to the school nurse daily for an upset stomach. Also, if a topic doesn't automatically come to her, she often quits in frustration because she is not used to "working" in school.

It gets easier as she gets older and has more opportunities in school. She plays the trumpet in marching band and jazz band, which is a giant step because when she was younger, she would cry in dance class because she couldn't do the steps perfectly the first time. While all the other little girls were giggling in their tutus, my child was bawling hysterically.

Thanks for letting me write this all out. I know it may be too much and dull for the average reader, but I have never written all of this out before. I love my daughter, and I want what is best for her. I've never worried about testing; that was the school's idea. I still don't know her IQ. I just want other moms to know that if this "gifted" stuff is not all sunshine and daisies for you, you are not alone. I love the young woman my daughter is becoming, but sometimes I sigh in relief thinking "thank goodness my youngest is 'average'!"

Becca - posted on 11/22/2011

Marie, I was taken back to my older son's babyhood with your description of your little independent one! Mack always learned things in bursts. He's 33 now, and still does. I'll post more later.

Kelli - posted on 11/20/2011

Hello everyone -- I have lurked a while and wanted to introduce myself. Love this group! I'm Kelli, mom to Bryce (4) and Alexandra (6). Our children attend a charter Montessori school that just expanded it's program to the 8th grade. It seems to be working well for us so far. We never called Alex gifted, but she started reading at 3 1/2; over the years we have recognized she is a classic example of a gifted child on the language/reading side. Now in 1st grade, she reads at close to 4th grade level. She is advanced in math, but doesn't enjoy it and struggles more with it. My son has just begun reading at 4 but so far doesn't seem to have the perfectionism his sister is plagued with. Bryce is more easy going, so we hope he will be less hard on himself at school so it will be more fun for him to learn -- less pressure. While I wouldn't say I was gifted, I started reading at 4 and was fluent in French and Spanish before I graduated high school. I worry I have passed perfectionism and high expectations of myself down to my daughter... and a spitfire, dreadful temper! But we are working through it together. Being conscious of how my attitude affects my children has helped me take myself less seriously, which is great. And the conversations from you all in this group are helping tremendously, too. Thank you in advance for your feedback and advice!

Marie - posted on 10/04/2011

Thank you for having this group. I have not had my daughter tested, but have known there was something different about her since she was just under a year old. She is not verbally gifted, but a VSL learner and a very deep thinker with good logic, connectivity and an exceptional memory. She was able to get across deep thoughts and remind me of things that had happened months ago with hand gestures and a few words starting at just over eighteen months. We were blown away by the simple things she would do that would seem out of the ordinary for a child. IE: She would sort out patterns and 'gardens' of blocks on shelves in her room as soon as she could stand - and match colors of a coworker's shirt to items she found on a table because she could not yet talk.

It seemed she learned her ABCs, numbers and colors before she really learned all of her nouns ... and always took a long time 'practicing' something on her own before she would show it off. IE: she barely crawled until eight months - then was everywhere within a week, then was walking a month later, then running a month after that. She is also the most stubborn child I have ever met, while at the same time being self-disciplined. She has an 'order' she thinks the world should follow, and takes it upon herself to make that order happen. She does throw her tantrums, usually over things she cannot control - but will reason and work out of them as well and come up with compromises.

She is nearly four now, and although PT was the toughest thing ever this year - we have been 99% since July. And she is proud of herself for it. She is now working on writing letters with crayons and has been typing words on her computer for months. She plays computer games and figures out the rules and goals without asking us - and then makes a point to show us how to do it as if we need to learn. She talks with me often now about different jobs like what doctors and farmers do, how Mom and Dad make things in the house (food, dishes, clothes) and what I do at work and how that relates to the rest of the town. She talks much better now and has exploded questions on me everywhere, as if she had been bottling them up for the future! Some days she will still be quiet for a long time, then come up to me with an elaborate game she has made up, show me the rules and the props, and make me play. Her sense of humor is awful, as well... deadpan one minute and then completely silly the next.. then deadpan 'no laughing. I'm Super Girl.' etc etc...

Nice to meet you, and hope to meet more of you. We are homeschooling for now. She has a November birthday and our rules are strict 5 before September. I have no idea where she will be by 5... as she will turn 4 next month and is already almost at the end of what the 'hard' K class is doing in our area.

Misty - posted on 07/17/2011

You have every right to brag! (he's your son so you SHOULD be proud of him, regardless of where he's at!) :)

Kristen - posted on 07/16/2011

I wouldn't call my son "highly gifted" but more so moderately above average. He is 2 and 1/2 now and surprises my family and friends every day. He acts more mature and likes to play with older kids rather than his age at the playground. He loves babies because he wants to nurture them and be mommy. I would buy him a baby doll, but my husband would fight me over it and probably burn the doll. He also picked his head up the day he was born and never liked to be laying down. He always wanted to be held up unless I was breastfeeding him. He didn't crawl or walk until he was older because he was very chubby and had a hard time with his weight. When he started walking around 1 year he walked for a week and then started running. He was trying to make up for all the times he wanted to get up and go I guess. He got into sports as soon as he was able to walk. He plays every sport you show him extremely well for his age. His father plays soccer and we take him to the games. Gabriel can run with the ball as well as a 4 year old playing on a soccer team. Besides his athletic ability he also started talking slowly but as soon as he started he wanted to speak in full sentences. His father is Hispanic and my mother is deaf so he is learning 3 languages on a daily basis. He knows all his colors and shapes, the letters and numbers - he knows but he doesn't like to perform them. When we read books to him, he would remember the story and tell me the whole story while I flipped the pages- he still is not reading. I love watching him use his imagination- he has such a mature imagination. He never liked playing with the baby toys and was so much more interested in world around him when he was still 6 months old, now that he is 2 he needs to play with 4yrs and up toys and even those might not be good enough. When we travel he is always memorizing the streets, houses, and landmarks. He knew everywhere we were going by the time he was 1 year old. I could go on and on about how I think he is so smart, but everyone elses kids are so much more gifted that I think it is quite boring to read my comment. LOL I just like bragging about my son!

Heather - posted on 06/29/2011

Hi Everyone!

My name is Heather. My son is 7 yrs old and going into the 2nd grade. We had him tested when he was 5. We were very excited when we found out he was exceptionally gifted but it isn't always easy. He is currently enrolled in a full-time gifted program at an area public school. It has been so nice to have other parents with gifted children. We also have a 3 yr old girl who appears to be gifted too. Of course, we will have to wait to have tested.

So happy to be on here with everyone!

Stacy - posted on 06/15/2011

Hi all! I'm happy to have found this group. My 6 yr old DS tested into the G&T program at school this past year (kindergarten). He has been diagnosed with Aspergers (extremely high functioning) and a 150 IQ. He was a pretty normal baby, maybe mastered language a bit early, but it's HOW he sees things that blow my mind (and I'm gifted myself!). I first saw it at age 3, where his preschool class was given paper, yarn and seeds to make a pumpkin "drawing." I came in to a class of beautiful round pumpkins, with one sheet a gooey pile of seeds, yarn and glue. My son's artwork....he made the inside of the pumpkin. A year later, I gave him his first grapefruit in a bowl (cut in half and sectioned) with a spoon - thinking he'd eat it like anyone else. Nope. Kid turns it upside down, squeezes all the sections into the bowl for perfect finger foods. Hmph. I never thought to do that! He is constantly doing things like that, it's second nature to him. I actually come to him with (non-adult!) issues that I need a fresh perspective on since his way of seeing things is so far out there. I can sit and watch him for hours, he's amazing when he works. :)

Kellie - posted on 05/06/2011

just a couple of other things, my partner will get down on the floor with her and show her how to crawl (its way cute esp as she knows what to do it's just the strength factor holding her back) but she watchec him and actually runs her eys up and down his body to see what hes doing so she can imitate it. she had also been throwing tantrums at a 2 year old level, you know the ones, where they jump up and down throw themselves backwards and cry big crocodile tears squealing and carrying on, she has been doing this for months the only new thing is the jumping up and down whilst having the tantrum. i think that was all i wanted to add LOL

Kellie - posted on 05/06/2011

I was looking at communities today and came across this one. I was curious as I have a feeling my almost 6 month old is going to fall into the gifted category and wanted to see if it was too soon to tell. I've read numerous posts in this thread and in the 'Gifted' thread and OMG Deborah you described me too a T in one of your comments on the Gifted thread! (you will be able to tell which one as I rated it :) anyway this is about my daughter not me LOL
My daughter will be 6 months old on the 23rd of May 2011. She is hitting her milestones early, from birth she had excellent head/neck control, by 7.5 weeks she could lift her head while lying on her tummy, respond to sound (from birth really), stare at faces, follow objects with her eyes, vocalise ohhs and ahhs, smile, laugh, hold her head at a 45 degree angle, follow objects across her field of vision, hold her head steady, bear weight on her legs, do a mini push up, recognise me and her daddy, visually track moving objects, squeal, gurgle, coo, turn toward sound, bring her hands together, bat at toys, grab things, and recognise her name. she rolled over for the first time at 10.4 weeks and perfected rolling from back to front at 3 months old and able to go back again by the end of her third month.she started trying to crawl at 4 months (is yet to get there but anytime now!) she is very very aware of her souroundings and fully assesses people before giving them the ok. she had starts to want to stand all the time when you pull her into a sitting position and can also sit on her own holding herself at a 45 degree angle, we only started practicing this together 2 days ago! the look of determination on her face when trying to do something is phenominal! she is also showing signs of perfectionism she will try and try to the point where i have to pick her up to stop her trying as she cant seem to stop on her own. whether or not she is gifted remains to be seen but my feeling is she is brighter than the average and would like others opinions :) thanks

Michelle - posted on 05/05/2011

Hello there! Just joined the group after being invited by several parents who follow me on Facebook. My name is Michelle Brown-Stafford and I am an advocate for parental involvement particularly when it involves children of "gifted" ability.

There are so many things I would love to touch on here but I would like to begin with your personal experiences with "radical acceleration". Have any of you experienced it and to what end? Personally for my family, it literally saved our children from falling through the educational cracks and they're much happier young people because of it.

Our son became a full-time regular student at Morehouse College at age 13; owns his own tech company and speaks to young people about their potential! Our daughter began college at age 16 and looks to attend law school earlier than expected. I would love to get your feedback and perhaps share some things that has worked well for our kids. I must say ultimately that radical acceleration can be a major blessing if done sensibly and with the right intentions...

Stephanie - posted on 04/10/2011

Hello All! My anme is Stephanie and I have 2 girls, one of which I believe is gifted. She will be 3 in August and she is smart for her age. She talks in complete sentences, knows colors, shapes, counting, and lots of other things. She started talking fairly early. In her baby book it says that by 10 months old she was talking with a 10 word vocab. I am looking forward to getting to know everyone here.

Kelly - posted on 04/07/2011

Hello All. Found this site from researching on google. Just had my 4 1/2 son tested for the second time yielding same results - gifted with a strong willed personality that seems to annoy his teachers and peers into thinking there is something 'wrong' with him. I seem to find tons of information, learning tools for him, etc. but have yet to find a circle of peers he can relate too. Any ideas?

Charlotte - posted on 04/05/2011

At a very early age my daughter showed signs of being gifted. She is six years old in first year of school, she has not been tested. She can read on her own, gets all 100 on school work. The teacher told us at the beginning of the year that she tested higher than her peers and has been giving her first grade work. But with that she does get upset very easily and everything as to be perfect or she will do it again. Her vocabulary is huge and always has been. She has a very detailed imagine nation.

Or-Tal - posted on 03/08/2011

Hi,
I am new to this group. Looking into sharing info and experience. I am a mother of 3 gifted kids, ages 8, 13, 16. There's a lot of pride in it, but a lot of hard work and frustration too. Ping me for more information, especially on how we cope with the education system challenges. We live in Israel where it's an all-public education system, and far from being an elite education system... I research online a lot to be able to create challenging projects. I am also protecting the childhood and innocence as much as possible from the crazed race to the top....

Rebekah - posted on 02/15/2011

Wow after reading all of this I wanted to introduce myself I have a 22 month old daughter and like Deborah she is way to young to be tested but the whole fact that when I gave birth to her vaginally with no meds 2 weeks early she looked right at the doctor and grabbed his hand as if to say hi I'm here. She is very precocious and is already starting to learn her numbers colors, shapes and letters. she has been verbal since about 3 months. We live in a small town and I just figured she was just a curious kid until I tried to join a play group for children 1-3 years of age in our community. my daughter was loving it but she was playing with the late 2 and 3 year old group and the moderator asked me how old she was when I told her she told me that I needed to take her over to the other group, I figured okay no problem but there DD just got frustrated and the parents thought she was a bully she wasn't she just wanted to play with other kids and wanted them to play with her. Because of all this we haven't been back. I was a bit upset and turned to my Mother for some help to let you know she is a special ed teacher with a Masters in early childhood development. She didn't give DD any tests but had us come spend the weekend with her and while we were there grandma did some serious observations and well confirmed my gut feeling that she was gifted. She told me to just play with her and if she is interested in anything go with it. Don't stop her from exploring, and when she is school aged have her tested. Just wondering if anyone else has had something like this happen to them. I am now looking at play groups 40 min away in a larger city. And I myself don't know what to feel about all this she blows me away most days and alls I want is for her to be happy. I am hoping this group will give me some support and advice about raising a child like this,

Tami - posted on 02/06/2011

Hello! I'm Tami, have 2 kids - Aisling, almost 6, and William, 20 months. We've been struggling with Aisling in kindergarten - she is doing beautifully academically and is already reading. She's always been advanced, since she was an infant. Our Parents as Teachers educator warned us when Ais was 18 months old that she was clearly gifted, but her emotional maturity would lag her cognitive and physical ability. And so here we are, going through assessments to determine if she has sensory processing disorder, ADHD, and/or OCD. Her behavior and social skills have really presented difficulty for her teacher in class, as well as for us at home. She's a "little lawyer" and will try to argue you to death about what you said or some fact. It's tiring, but she is absolutely wonderful and I wouldn't trade her abilities for anything. We received the gifted and talented program testing information in her backpack last week, and are awaiting the results. For her sake, I hope she is accepted in the program - she needs the enrichment she is not getting in her classroom because the kindergartners in her class are all over the spectrum.

William is....well, a typical 20 month old. Slow on talking, but it seems he is waiting until he has the word almost perfect before trying to say it. He's totally into figuring out how things work. I think he may end up being our engineer. :)

Anyway, glad to have found this community!

Megan - posted on 01/26/2011

Hi everyone! I'm Megan and I have a wonderful almost-16 month old toddler who stands out in playgroups and at daycare. I figured I would let you all know and perhaps someone can shed some light on whether or not he is above average...

He has a very long attention span for things he is interested in... He loves to see how things work. he will takes things apart (his toys) and put them back together. He enjoys cooking and reading and could do these things for hours! I am a bit behind him, admittedly, and so I just recently purchased art supplies. He prefers to write in pen (supervised and erasable of course) and has learned to scribble, draw circles, and write his name in only 3 days! He learns things very quickly and has a fantastic memory. He can follow complex commands such as "throw this in the trash for mommy and then go to your playroom and get us a book to read"

All of this, yet he prefers to point to communicate as well as sign.

What do you all think? How can I stimulate this child more? I am thinking a pass to a museum for children as that was something that he was really interested in. He shows less motivation for toys I buy, regardless of whether or not they are novel. I feel as if he is not being challenged.

Does the fact that he does not yet have expressive language mean that he is not gifted?

Also, definitely not ASD- so social !

Sharleen - posted on 01/13/2011

Hi all

I,ve been reading your entries some are older than others ..I have a child who is gifted and I didnt do anything for him .I didnt push him or encourage him to do anything UNTIL he was ready..
He walked at 9months and he was 17lb so very tiny people use to worry coz he was to small to put on the ground.
At 8 years 4 months we had an IQ test done and I wished I hadnt ....It was and still is very very high .He is in the top 2% of people in the country .
We decided not to push him as the school wanted him to do exams early BUT unless he was going to be pushed into several years above his age group no one would see he had done Gcses or A levels early and we and he didnt want to go to uni at 12!!!
So we left him to show and tell us what to do.
he is now into his last year at uni of 4 and is working beyond his requirements for the grades he can get ...so he will return for his Phd.
He is very happy well balanced young man and is so pleased we and he together went through the steps of development as they are ment to be. As he says being 12 at uni and not being able to go to the pub would have been a waste of life!!
Please be ALL positive about your children, as you all are ,but remember life is for living and they only get one chance ...Take them all
Good Luck to them all and I hope this is just a different view and that I,m not in any way saying what others do is wrong.
sharleen

Ceinwen - posted on 12/13/2010

Hi guys i have some very bright kids who hit a lot of the milestones you talked about with motor skills language maths ect. i have not had them tested and will not get them tested. Testing children under 8yrs is very unreliable as up to this age results can reflect advanced language skills that platue around this age. Most cognitive assessment rely on oral language skills and give skewed results. I have seen great pressure placed on these children, the ones who are tested are pushed by their parents and usually end up having poor social skills and high levels of anxiety. those parents who encourage social interactions first as well as giving their children lots of options to explore areas of interest fare so much better.

Reading is not an indicator of giftedness as I have many autistic spectrum kids who read at two years, have huge vocabs, speak in sentence very young but cannot use their language to have true interactive conversations. So let your children be happy, and learn resilence encourage them to do activities outside their comfort zone

Jade - posted on 11/14/2010

im new to this site and was looking around and stumbled on to this page. i never thought my child was gifted until now i was always told that girls learn faster then boy's.after reading some of your posts i thought to myself wow maybe my daughter is GIFTED. Keirstin's her name she was born dec.30th 2007. when she was born i thought that something was wrong because she wasnt crying then the doctors washed her off and put her in my arms she propped her head up and looked around the room thats when the doctor told me wow shes a really strong baby. at 5 weeks old she was back at the hospital with pnemonia it took 2 nurses plus me and her father to hold her down to get the iv in her all the nurses couldnt believe how strong she was. she was talking at 6 months, never crawled but started walking on her own at 9 months,she knew her whole alphabet and numbers at 14 months,and was fully potty trained at 1 1/2(still has the occasional accident). i was just saying the other day i dont think she can wait another year for school, the way shes going i think there just holding her back by not letting her go to school yet. another thing too she has always been bigger then kids her age and i dont mean chunky.a couple days after she turned to she had a doc. appt. we walked in and my doc. said oh she looks like she is the same age as the patient i just in here. who was 6 years old, then he weighs her and says oh she weighs more then the little girl that was just in here. keirstin being my first and only child i got a little worried and asked the doctor well is she normal is this somthing that we should look into and all he tells me is well shes not unproportioned so she should be fine. doc, eh! anyway just wanted to share.

LadyBug2010 - posted on 11/12/2010

Hi, my name is Ladybug and I have two children ages 7 and 4. Both of my kids have been tested and are both in gifted programs with the school district. I'm here because sometimes I really need a place where I can feel free to talk about my kids without being judged by everyone around me.

Thanks for making this group!

Laurie - posted on 11/10/2010

how do i go about getting my son tested i live in aus and people don't talk about gifted kids much i've asked friends and they don't know either i know my son is advanced but i'm not sure if he's gited he gets bored in class he's in an advanced yr 1 class his teacher gives him grade 3 math and i've been told he reads at grade 6 lvl people are constantly surprised at how intelligent he is so i would like to know for sure.I taught myself how to read and was reading well b4 school in kindergarten we had a spelling test and the teacher was using the word in a sentence.They thought I wasn't ready for school but when they had a closer look I was doing dictation and being tested they found my reading was that of a high school student it's pretty much the same with my husband too.Just wondering do you ladies think my son is gifted or just advanced?

Coralee - posted on 11/04/2010

New here. My daughter is in 4th grade and attends gifted classes in school. She was tested exiting 2nd grade and we are fortunate at the moment to have a GT class available. Budgets may cut it next year.

Grace - posted on 11/03/2010

I have 2 kids, one 3 and the other 5 months old. I don't know if the 3 year old girl is highly gifted but I think she is gifted in some areas. At this point, she can finish a 24-piece puzzle in under 5 mins (must be one that she has done before) or give it 20 mins for something she hasn't done before. I just bought her a cheap 24-piece puzzle and she finished it in 15 mins just by looking at the picture. Also she can finish a 48-piece puzzle maps-of-the-world by herself. She knew her alphabets at 2 and this was done by me introducing her to the alphabets in about 2-3 sittings. She speaks English and her father's language fluently (complete sentences and grammar) at 2 and picks up words of other languages easily (not from the TV but from travelling. We live "on the road"). In ballet class with other 2 year olds, she is the only one who can focus for an entire hour without losing concentration. Her father is a violinist so she is definitely musically inclined. Well, her father speaks at least 3 languages fluently and a few more at a basic level. I'm also multilingual myself.



This might be a good time to ask, since I'm frustrated by a forum that I was involved regarding TVs and small children. Have any of you moms here who have gifted children relied a lot on TV to "nurture" your child? Or was TV seen as a bit of evil and used only sparingly?



I'm of the latter camp and believe that too much TV destroys the brilliance of a child's brain cells (which is otherwise a clean slate), perhaps due in part to too much TV-watching in my lifetime. So I am always consciously trying to limit TV watching for my child to under 2 hours (or even none on days when there are plenty to do).

Shebang - posted on 09/07/2010

Hi all!

My third grader was tested in 1st grade and judged to be gifted.

We already knew. From the time I knew I was pregnant with him, I wanted to homeschool him, so I basically started doing that as soon as he was born. We did sign language when he was a baby, and while he didn't often speak in full sentences before he was 4, he did know all of his state capitals by his 3rd birthday.

Math is his strongest suit -- in kindergarten, one of the assignments sent home was a chart of the numbers 1 - 100. Instructions were for a parent to say various numbers and have the child point to the number. I read those instructions, looked at my boy, looked back at the page again.... and asked him to point to the square root of 100 -- he promptly replied "10" and then pointed to it. We did a few more square roots, then I put a note on the chart for his teacher to let her know that we had done the assignment just a tad differently than she expected.

We didn't end up homeschooling due to divorce and my going back to work.

We do have a tough time getting homework done -- it's just "too boring" -- even the assignments from the gifted & talented program rarely hold his interest.

Love my boy... and he is very definitely a challenge. I'm looking forward to joining a local G&T parents support group this year, and also sharing and learning here in this group.

Alison - posted on 08/13/2010

I am so glad I have found a community of parents that have a gifted child.

My daughter is only 5 years old at the moment but back before christmas I was told by my daughters reception class teacher that sh has had to put my daughter on the gifted and talent list and she woul go off into a seperate group of children that are just like her for an hour a week. She ended the school year on level 4 reading books which is the highets level yet for a child in reception to finish the school year on, she does year 2/3 maths and year 2 Literacy which is 2/3 years ahead. These past few weeks have been so hard all she wants to do is read a book and then re-write the book and make her own drawings to the story. Is there anythign else I can do with her as if we go out and she doesn't get this reading, writing and drawing time she is so emotional. We do have issues with her behaviour and the reading, writting and dr\wing is again the only thing that we can do with her that calms her down. She is under a ped for other issues and he is going ot see her with-in 4-6 weeks of starting year 1 and he is going to refer her for assessment for ADHD/ADD as she is also very easy to distract unless it is one of her 3 favourite activities and she has to be in control of what she is doing with them as well other wise the activity is boring with in minutes

Karen - posted on 06/23/2010

Katie Reavis wrote:

"Now that we are getting ready for middle school, I seem to be having a harder time dealing with the lack of common sense. Has anyone else had a similar issue? I have read that due to the advanced level of thinking, they do no have much in the way of common sense. Not that it is a bad thing. Just need help in not losing my patience with him..."

My sympathies, Katie. Been there, done that. Keep in mind that as your son gets ready for middle school, he's also beginning to get an influx of adolescent hormones. This can make the smartest kid seem brainless. It got so bad for my kid that he thought he was going crazy. Luckily, my husband pinpointed everything that was going thorough his mind and told him it was male hormones going through him, and my son had to have patience with the changes he was going through, as well as develop strategies to deal with them. This relieved my son greatly.

There was a distinct change in our son from elementary school to junior high. He went from obedient and only occasionally absent-minded, to rebellious and impulsive and really absent minded. His school counselor actually suggested to me that he couldn't handle academics (grr!). I don't think the lack of common sense necessarily relates to giftedness, but let's just say adolescent hormones complicates the issues of giftedness. Most parents of teenagers will say that once adolescent hormones hit, common sense went flying out the window.

Patience, understanding, and talking through the consequences of one's actions helped a lot, but do expect that you may have to deal with this lack of common sense throughout high school (or at least until the hormones stabilize...with luck around 16 or 17).

Karen - posted on 06/23/2010

Hi, I'm new here.

As for being gifted, I began reading at the age of two, and was reading at the sixth grade level by the time I was in first grade. I remember having problems with arithmetic in first grade, because while I was fine with addition, I got caught up with the moral dilemma of Susie taking away three apples from Annie's five, and had trouble letting that go. :-D I don't know exactly what my IQ is, but perhaps all that indicates some giftedness.

My son is 23 now, and so I've been through the whole gamut with him. He can pretty much accomplish anything he sets his mind to...and that's the clinker. If he's not interested, it takes incredible pushing and prodding to make him do it.

As a result, by the time he was 2 years old, he had the scientific names of the major bones and internal organs of the human body memorized, and his favorite book for me to read to him at bedtime was Grey's Dissection Guide. By the age of 7, he could discuss the evolution of different hominid species and the different theories behind them, as well as draw anatomically precise pictures of their skeletal structure. By the age of 10, he was replicating paintings of the Renaissance masters in both acrylics and oils. At the age of 16, he taught himself to play the guitar, and a year later was playing in our church band. Not long ago, he decided to teach himself how to play the piano, and even as he was picking out the chords, I could hear him harmonizing with a friend who was playing the guitar.

Unfortunately, his grades in school did not match his intellect, except for the period when he was in the gifted class in elementary school. He'd forget to turn in his homework, lose his papers, and so on...unless the particular project interested him.

Went through major problems in junior high, but what was telling was that though he flunked out of 1 semester of Algebra in 7th grade, he took a whole year's worth of online summer school Algebra in 6 weeks and got an A.

He got mixed grades in high school, though he was in the International Baccalaureate program, and then went to a state university where he again got mediocre grades except in those classes that he loved (although I think he would have done better had he not met with multiple emotional and physical traumas during his college career). After graduating with a degree in political science, he looked for a job for 6 months and finally landed a job with Google...but not for his academic performance. LOL! It was because he'd been an Eagle Scout, is a good writer, and while he was in college he formed a rock band, wrote the music, entered a tri-state music competition, and won 3rd place all within the space of one month. IOW, he's very good at pulling together people and resources, and getting a project done in a very short time.

I'm glad to say he's finding the work environment much more to his liking than school.

Kate - posted on 05/24/2010

Wow I feel like our daughters led parallel lives when I read your milestones. My daughter was also the same at birth, even though a natural delivery she turned her head around coming out and got stuck! Again the obgyn had never seen anything like it and as soon as she came out she was thoroughly examining her surroundings! She was bright and responsive from the word go, saying her first words at 3 months and telling me what my breastmilk tasted like at 5 months "yuk mum" if I'd eaten cabbage or anything spicy! The longest she would sleep for in any 24 hour period would be 3 - 4 hours - I was an absolute mess!!
By 9 months she knew all her colours and could count to ten. By 12 months she could write her name, draw complex figures and at 18 months started to read her 5 year old brothers school readers better than he could. It was also embarrassing for us, I had a particular friend that was convinced her similar aged baby was behind.
Kelly ended up starting school at 4, and at 7 was tested by a leading psycologist of gifted children, referred to by her school. She was assessed at having an IQ of 156, even though she had barely slept (as usual) the night before. She is now way ahead of her peers but remains socially the same which is very difficult as I feel she is accademically extremely bored.
I'm glad I found this site, I also have an 8 year old with special needs - unbelievable the challenges we face as mums aye.
Kate