is your gifted child a space cadet? How do you cope?

Maryann - posted 6 days ago

I have started to go though the whole space thing with my oldest son. I never really knew what to do. Recently I was talking to a family member who has a 2yr old who has seizers.(bare with me). I was talking to her one day, trying to get advice on what to do. A couple of days later she came to me and said that she was at her 2yr olds neuroligist for a check up, and asked him if he ever kids those kids that yes they are very book smart, but can't seem do remember to do anything. He told her there is a certian type of seizer that affects that area of the brain. The seizures don't make them fall on the ground or anything. He said that it gets missed diagnosed all the time for ADD/ADHD, because of the fact that you don't really see them. He said that there is medication for them, so they can not be so spacy. I'm working with my doctor to get my son a refferal to see this doctor and have him checked out. I just want an answere. I'll keep you all posted.

Karen - posted on 03/31/2013

This sounds like my son and we waited to medicate. I regret that immensely. He was turning 11 when we finally started medication. As a result, he didn't learn certain habits that he could have learned, he didn't make friends that he could have made, he didn't learn skills that he could have learned. He's now been on medication for 2 years and he's a different kid. He still struggles with focus, especially now that he's in puberty and he's metabolizing the meds faster. But, it's night and day from the way that he was.

I also wish my mother had taken me to investigated when I was a child. Since I was gifted, nobody ever thought I could also have ADHD. I am now on medication and I am far better parent and wife.

Please take your child to a doctor and get the attention issues investigated. If there isn't an issue, the medication won't work. It's pretty black and white.

Rebecca - posted on 01/14/2013

This may partially be an "introvert" thing. And, no, your child does NOT have to be shy to be introverted. Their brains are literally wired differently. A wonderful book on the subject is The Introvert Advantage. It helped me to understand how my daughter gets stuck in loops and gets frustrated when she can't snap out of it the same way an extroverted person would. It also explains why she can't stop what she is doing and move on quickly. This is tough for kids in an extrovert-dominated world.

Geri - posted on 01/10/2013

My daughter spends a lot of time "in her head." It looks like she's really zoned out, but I believe it's just that her brain processes differently. This has diminished over the years (she's now 10), but I've had to prep her teachers to make sure that they get where she's coming from. I've also written letters to request teachers who have had more experience with kids who process differently.

Irenekanderson - posted on 01/06/2013

You know what else helps...is when I spend more time with him. I'm not sure why this helps, but it makes me think that maybe he forgets in order to get my corrective feedback, i.e. negative attention. I am not a micro manager nor a controlling person by any stretch of the imagination, and spending so much extra time with him going over things repeatedly isn't "my style" but it really helps him. So, I do it. Organization is another thing we work on. Oh he is sooooooo disorganized but if I take the time to help him determine what's needed and what's trash...then somehow he's just better. When I do this, he comes home with glowing behavior reports, his grades are better, he's more proud of the work he produces. When I don't, the boy is in detention a lot. Does anyone else find this to be true? I hope I'm not babying him, because I DONT want that, but I wonder if anyone else is experiencing this?

Rebecca - posted on 01/06/2013

I am looking for the same sort of guidance. I have the same problem. I hate to stifle creativity but it is hard to get my child to "keep pace" when she is expected to. I am considering home schooling as a last resort

Amber - posted on 12/18/2012

OMG. This is my daughter to a TEE! She is 9 and in 3rd grade, but reads at a 6th grade level. Is extremely intelligent and is often referred to as an "old soul" since she is so wise beyond her years. Everyday, however, is another step toward my being admitted. She forgets everyday routine tasks and needs constant reminders. I had to make a checklist, which helps, but If I don't remind her about the checklist, we are back to square one. She will forget her backpack constantly; can't seem to follow simple instructions. She was in cheer and lost her cheer warmups; I let the coaches know and in the process of looking for the warmups, she lost a backup pair! i had to pull her out of cheer due to her constantly forgetting gear and I thought maybe she had too much going on that was causing her to become too distracted.

In 1st grade, her teacher suggested she may have ADD, but was very positive and worked with me on ways to help her learn in "her way." 2nd grade, her teacher was impatient and couldn't handle the distractions and the lack of focus and would somewhat punish her intelligence by assigning her more work, which she did willingly. Her current 3rd grade teacher is amazing and has told me that her actions are not always intentional or selective.

She was once on ADD meds and they helped for while, but not enough to make a huge difference. I actually wondered if she changed her behavior because she thought they were supposed to?? I can look her straight in the eye and ask her a question and she won't say a word and has a blank stare like she doesn't understand ...even at the simplest of "yes" or "no" questions.

She will respond to a question and say she understands, only to later say she didn't hear that part of the information or that I didn't give her all the information...when I practically did the task for her because I gave her such specific instructions. I've tried short and sweet and long-winded. I've tried letting her do the talking and I get nothing.

I am at my wits end. I've noticed that her friends don't play with her as often and I ask parents if there's something I need to know about and they insist all is well....but I can't help wondering if something happened or if she's no longer welcome at people's houses because of her challenges. She's noticed too and is so self-conscious about making/keeping/losing friends.

I don't like to label, but my gut tells me there's something wrong - whether it be a hearing or auditory processing disorder, or ADD, or something I've never thought of. I try not to be rigid, but I am getting anxiety coming home becasue every day is a repeat of the issues the day before. I get angry and I overreact because I'm at a loss for what to do. I'm afraid doctors will just jump to a quick ADD diagnosis and pop her full of pills...when I feel she needs something more than that.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Sound Familar? I know some of what she's going through could just be "kid" stuff, but I see this spiraling out of control and she's even started hurting other kids unintentionally and had outbursts of emotions and impulsive actions that are starting to really worry me.

Patricia - posted on 11/29/2012

HUMMMM some good thoughts. Maybe I will make a list for the bathroom- brush your teeth at certain time, take a shower on these days- etc etc.

Staci - posted on 11/28/2012

One thing that worked with our son for mornings was making a check list. I typed up a sheet with a list of things that he needed to do and had it laminated. We put it on the wall in his room so he had a visual reminder of what he needed to do. It worked for us!

Patricia - posted on 11/28/2012

The problem with our Daughter (10) is she gets so wrapped up in the current thing she is doing she will lose all sense of time and everything else she was suppose to do that day. She will remember later on when it is too late. She gets ticked off when I have to remind her a 101 times to brush her teeth. Then morning comes- Did you brush your teeth? Oh I forgot I got into my book and then fell asleep-ugh!!! I told her I will be going in with her to make sure it gets done!!

Staci - posted on 11/20/2012

Thank you for a different perspective, and for sharing your story. I too suffered, so I know how my child feels. Hopefully more parents will listen to you. Good Luck!

Not - posted on 11/20/2012

I'm horrified at how so many of you - almost all of you it looks like, though I haven't read through all of the comments - talk about your "gifted space cadet" as though his or her experiences are cute and humorous. Though they might just be delightful to all of you, I was once one of these children. I was one of these children during the early 80s, though, when there was no medication for my condition. My school life became a living hell, and no amount of "giftedness" made up for it. My advice to the mom, and pardon me for being blunt, but I see one too many overly protective parents expressing the same attitude, is to get your kid on meds as soon as possible. Go to a good doctor and find out what can be done to get your child the relief he deserves. Thanks to my inability to function normally along with the rest of my classes through the years, I was bullied by other students and humiliated by teachers. Is this what you'd like for your child? It might come across as sweet and lovable to you, but you have no idea the hell you might be setting your child up for by just letting him go his own way when he's supposed to be keeping up in a structured environment. I'm sure there must be many alternate ways of helping kids who are struggling with this now than there were back when I was going through it, but you trust me - if you allow your child to go through an average speed school system without getting him help, you're doing him and the teachers who will have to deal with him a disservice, and that is irresponsible, reckless and above all else, selfish! I still have social anxiety today from the bullying I endured for years in school as a result of having had to go it alone with no support whatsoever. Your kid can be a special snowflake inside your home if you want, but have a care and consider that he needs to be able to function in the real world at some point. If there is help for him - GET HIM THAT HELP, and do it as soon as possible!

GEORGI - posted on 11/14/2012

I am a principal of a small school, and my own son has ADD. He is now 18 years old, and has done exceptionally well, despite the challenges. If you medicate, you child has a chance. If you do not, you will have an uphill struggle for the rest of your life. 10% of the children in our school have been diagnosed with different variations of ADD. Those who receive optimum medication do well. Those who do not have the correct dose of medication trundle along, not achieving much. The students whose parents refuse to give medication, are slowly destroying their children,The child is frustrated, and has the perception that whatever he does is not good enough, the friends and teachers are irritated, and the parents are usually aggressive. .ADD is not just about behaviour, it

affects sports and culture as well.

GEORGI - posted on 11/14/2012

You state that you are going mad! So how about some sympathy for the teachers.

Staci - posted on 11/01/2012

Hi Lauren!



I soooo feel your pain! I never post on these things, but when I read so many posts saying they would NOT medicate their child, it made me want to respond. I would like to clarify that I do not think medication is the first action, nor do I think it is for everyone. My point is, do not make a decision based on perceptions. Our life was a living hell, nothing worked and all we were doing was fighting. When I finally went to our doctor, I was in tears. I did not want to give him a pill every day, and I was afraid his personality would change. My doctor asked me if he had asthma, would I give him an inhaler? If he had diabetes, would I give him insulin? Of course I would. So, why would I not try something that might make him less anxious, more organized, and a happier child? She convinced me to try it, explaining that it couldn't hurt. We would try it for a month, observe him and go from there. Our lives changed almost instantly. I cannot explain how much easier and happier our lives became. He was focused, organized, and HAPPY! Of course he was happier, he wasn't in trouble and he was more confident than ever. I breast feed my children, used cloth diapers, feed them whole wheat bread and sugar free peanut butter. We recycle, buy mostly organic food, AND I medicate my child. Hope that helps.

Lauren - posted on 10/31/2012

I was literally at my wits end, feeling like I was failing my gifted child when I decided to google "how to help your space cadet child". I am so thankful for all your posts. I am not alone, and I am not failing as a parent! I can't believe how many of you have the same child living in your house. The forgetfulness, the not turning in assignment..all your stories sound exactly like mine. Today, while checking my kids book bag, I find the project that we've worked on for the last two weeks sitting in there, not turned in. It was due 3 days ago! I think this drove me over the edge. The constant reminding from the moment we get up in the morning is such a struggle. We have the bulletin board, the planner, post it notes, I even prepare and paper click HW into a specific folder to help her remember and some how she still forgets. I was all out of ideas, except I never thought to discuss with her dr. I just figured it was something I was doing wrong. Thank you all for creating a place that even years later one can come and feel like I am part of something much bigger.

Irenekanderson - posted on 10/31/2012

I have the same trouble. My son literally forgets things as soon as they are said. What he's lacking is medium-chain fatty acids, which is what Alzheimer's patients lack as well. I began supplementing is diet with coconut oil, and have noticed much improvement. You do not get medium chain fatty acids from omega nor olive oil... Do your research and you'll see what I mean. I have compiled some info on my blog www.agreatlife.tv. Hope this helps.

Jami - posted on 10/30/2012

My son is very spacey (gets it from me I think) but is also adhd (the add end) and he is medicated...it has helped reduce the severity of it so he's more like the stories the previous posters have told.



I am actually now reassured that it's part and parcel of having a gifted kid...I was thinking he needed a med change which I didn't want to do the meds he is on now works so well for his severe add without suppressing his appetite.

Staci - posted on 10/27/2012

My son is also gifted, and we have similar stories, however after a few years of trying not to medicate him, we decided to try it. It changed his life. We put him on a very low dose, and within a week saw many positive changes. He was happier than he had ever been. Imagine the burden of having all that stress lifted. It was easy to remember things, he was no longer disappointed in himself and his parents stopped being frustrated with him. Life was good. He told me how much better he felt about himself. His self esteem improved. He was the same creative, smart, funny kid, just happier. My point is: medicine does work for some kids. I do not think it should be the first action, or that every kid who is on it should be, but to dismiss it without further investigation could be hurting your child. If medicine makes your child a happier, self sufficient person, who is more confident and successful, why would you with hold that from them? Do not be closed minded and don't worry about what others think, and listen to a medical professional. I only wish we had listened sooner and paid more attention to all the signs. We kept our child on medication for about a year and a half, and while on medication, we kept working with him. Now he has all the tools he needs to succeed in his Middle School Gifted Program. My only regret is that we did not listen to people, who were actually in the class room with him, sooner. It would have saved us from 2 years of frustration.

Cat - posted on 09/26/2012

YES! I have a wonderful, witty, creative, gifted 3rd grader who is driving us nuts because he has no concept of time...and it has been getting worse in some ways. Unfortunately one of the problems is that I myself am a bit of a scatterbrain and so I can't get myself to organize any good system. I have tried magnets, check lists, to do lists, marbles, you name it...nothing sticks.



We struggle in getting him to do what he needs to do without being asked. EVERY SINGLE DAY we have to remind him to wash his hands and unpack his lunch box after school. He has had this routine since kindergarten and it still hasn't become automatic...



He also takes twice the time he needs to do things...a 10 minute homework assignment will take 20 minutes or even more.



But he has shown improvement - he used to lose jackets at school 2 or 3x a week, and the same went for his water bottle. So far this year (it's been one month since school started) he has only forgotten his water bottle a couple of times and he has brought his jacket back each time. He is also quite good in the mornings, now able to get up on his own using an alarm clock, get dressed, and go down for breakfast. Last year we had the principal sending home so many notices because of repeated tardiness...so far this year, perfect attendance!!



I told his pediatrician about this earlier in the year and she sent back assessments for us (husband and I) and his teacher to fill out. He did great. I'm relieved, but it doesn't help me deal with my son's issues. So I guess like all of you moms, we just need to accept this as a part of our child(ren), and to be patient in trying different strategies and letting the systems take root. My little boy is SO quick in terms of learning (languages, math and what have you), but being organized and staying on task -- it's been a longer, much slower road!!



I had not thought about the OMEGA DHA or fish oils...will have to try them :-)

Tabitha - posted on 09/22/2012

Hi Joanna

Our stories are almost identical. My son is 11 in the 6th grade. His school curriculum is intense and 2 grades above the average. There are only 9 students in his class and he is a straight A student. He has already missed 3 home works not because he didn't do them but he forgot to turn them in. We have spent all night studying for a history test making sure he knew the info backwards and forwards only to have him say the next morning on the ride to school, oh mom, my teacher postponed today's history test until tomorrow. I asked didn't you remember this as we were studying last night, he looked sad and said no mommy I forgot, sorry. It broke my heart. To help him I now give him natural supplements. OMEGA DHA, fish oil. It has helped quite a bit . It's all natural !!! I

Jeni - posted on 09/22/2012

OMG! This is so my 15 yr old son. I and my husband are at a lose of where to go from here. We have tried all of the rewards or taking away of privileges, nothing works. He is in football this year, which he likes immensely, and doesn't get to play next week because he didn't turn in papers. This I believe is upsetting to him. Any advice? He can even remember to do his chores at home because he forgets, which have been the same for years.

Tabitha - posted on 09/05/2012

OMG!!! It feels sooooo good to read about a mom who sturggles as I do with their son. My son is 11, an absolutely amazing spirit, but he forgets everything, even his coat.I must stay on him every minute of every day and just tonight I had a meltdown. Im scared as to how he will manage without so much help...

Faye - posted on 08/28/2012

It sounds like your son may be classified as 2E (Twice Exceptional). It means that they are gifted and may have some Executive Functioning issues that most times ties in with AD/HD.

Raechel - posted on 07/02/2012

My son is 11 and all this sound just like him. He has not been tested as I just thought he was just lazy and dis-obedient. I feel like such a horrible parent for lecturing him so much about how he needs to listen to directions and stop being so lazy. I have 7 children and have different struggles with each of them and needless to say my house is never clean or organized, it used to be but not for several years now. I myself was diagnosed ADHD as a child and bipolar as an adult. I feel at such a loss to being able to help him with this. Are there programs that can help us figure things out in our home?

Linda - posted on 07/02/2012

How have you handled this? Is there any type of evaluation for this.

Kristeen - posted on 01/11/2012

Totally understand. When my eldest was in 1st grade I was informed by his teacher "the boys a genius.... he's gifted but vague"... this is one of the most apt descriptions of my eldest.

Sandi - posted on 10/05/2011

I just found out my son was gifted. His 1st grade teacher suggested he be tested but the Charter school didn't get to it until this summer. He is 8 will be 9 Nov 5th. They tested him on the Reynolds Intellectual Asse. Scale. I am not sure really waht all this means but I wanted to say I so totally understand what you are saying. It seems like he just doesn't care. I started makin gmy son check lists to help him stay on track. It doesn't work as well in the mornings since htere is less time but we are working on it. Good luck and I will continue to keep up with this thread so I can find things to try :)

Laura - posted on 09/14/2010

Yeah, my oldest gifted is the same way. Even my youngest who has not been identified yet is. He is the funniest sometimes because he will ask where a certain toy is and it is ....in his hand LOL. My oldest is forgetting homework etc and it has a lot to do with routine. If he is in a routine at school and sticks to it (no rushing him) he will get it done, but once you are out of routine he gets lost in space. We had the issue of the school trying to tell us he had ADHD, but it is just being gifted. All those things like OCD, ADD, ADHD, aspergers can be very similiar. We just told them no we would not mediciate him. He does have OCD though and he has medicine for that. The school doesn't know your child as well as they think they do and want to make life as easy for themselves as they can. I think they would medicate any boy if they could because it is mainly boys that are more active. The teachers don't want anyone to be "figity". Let us know how the 4th grade teacher responded. I am still on the fence about my 3rd grade teacher. She seems helpful, but is having expectations that may be more than he can handle as an 8 year old boy. Ah the joys and fun although never boring life of a gifted child's family LOL.

Candi - posted on 09/12/2010

Just to make you feel better....he will never get over this! My son is 11 and in middle school and I have already warned his teachers that he is the absent minded professor. In 2 school years he went through 5 coats/jackets. He kept losing them. Would leave his lunchbox on the playground, etc. he does his homework but forgets to turn it in, so I had to paperclip it to the front of his agenda or folder. When we lived in TX, the teachers didn't ask for homework, you had to drop it in a basket that sat in the hallway! Luckily his teachers accepted homework late. Now we live in VA and so far things have been ok. His teachers have been very understanding, but this year he is in Band, and I pray he doesn't leave his instrument somewhere!! Plus he has to carry his gym clothes to school AND carry them home. I can't "baby" him anymore in school, so I hope he will start to remember things. He is a very active boy scout, can read and fully grasp reading multiple books at once, , etc. I asked him how he can remember which dragons lived in certain areas, ate certain things and all that stuff then why can't he remember to turn in a piece of paper??? KIDS!!! gotta love 'em

Teri - posted on 11/11/2009

I am so glad that my daughter is not the only one. She's also lacking in the common sense area. So you add the space cadet with the common sense and sometimes I'm afraid to let her walk out the door. She was having so much trouble at school that I was beyond frustrated. Thankfully, she's now in a school for highly gifted children and her teacher is awesome. She's pretty much one of them so she understands why they do the things they do. She's helped them learn how to organize their time and their desk. I wish all gifted children had this type of learning. She's in a class where everyone is like her and the difference in her confidence, attention and even in her common sense is unbelievable.

Jennifer - posted on 11/09/2009

Hi. My 18 year old son is very gifted and has always been rather spacey. I home-schooled him from 7th grade till now, because I was tired of fighting with teachers about his poor school habits. Often he'd forget things, sometimes he just couldn't be bothered. However, he has taken dance classes from the age of 7. Every day after dance class or after whatever he has been doing, I ask him about his day. I ask him who was absent from class that day, what excercises they worked on. If he's been home by himself I ask him to report on the health and happiness of all our animals (we live on a farm). When he goes to work or to an audition I ask him for details about his experience. Over the years he has learned to pay more attention to the small details of life around him. He forgets fewer things now, though he still sometimes can't be bothered. We're working on that. I don't worry too much about him anymore. He has sufficient life-skills to take care of himself.
As for randomness, my daughter is good at that. She is 14 now, and frequently spouts random things. For years I have always aksed her where the thought came from. When she was small she would just get frustrated because she had no idea where it came from, but she has learned to understand her own thought process, and can now usually tell me what led to the outburst. She also recognises when she has said something random, which she never did before.
I think that like all other skills, these things take practice. Gifted kids just have to practice more daily life-skills than other kids, and fewer times tables.

Linda - posted on 11/06/2009

Unfortunately it doesn't get any easier, at least not for us. My son is now fourteen and still forgets something almost daily. We continue to struggle with the exact same issue of having done all of his work but not turning it in or not even sure which folder its in. He doesn't even realize he hasn't turned it in. I call it his "mad scientist" personality. He also is extremely bright, in fact getting a perfect score in two areas of standardized year end testing and only missing it by three points in the third area. However at mid term he actually had some Ds and Fs from not turning in his work. Once we look through his "nest" of papers, its usually easy to locate the ones he needs to turn in and thankfully they are usually accepted. I too explored the avenue of medication etc. but was fortuante to have a very practical physician. He encouraged me to help him find ways to cope rather than put him on medicine. It is a work in progress. Hang in there!

Erin - posted on 11/06/2009

I am a 33 year-old mother of three, one of whom is in the gifted program at her school. I have had some problems with her having short attention span and spaceyness, and it is frustrating at times. However, I understand and am trying to help mitigate because I was one of these "space cadets" when I was young. I would like to offer my perspective on this, and perhaps a few bits of advice on how to counter-act it at least a little bit.
Several posts have made mention that it seems like these children are lost in their own heads: literally lost in thought, so much so that the external world no longer exists to their sensory perception. This assessment is, in my experience, entirely correct. Have you ever driven a familiar route, and suddenly realized 2 miles down the road that you have no real recollection of the last 2 miles? The human mind has the ability to automate repetitive or mundane actions, thus leaving more "brain-space" for more executive functions like hypothetical problem solving or creative thought. It seems in some gifted children that this important function is in over-drive. I personally don't see it as a fully negative thing, but I might be biased.
As far as mitigating some of the more negative outcomes of this behavior, though, all I can say is: patience and vigilance. In order to keep my daughter on track, we have to have her do her homework at the dining room table, with one of us nearby to redirect her when she gets distracted. Sometimes she requires very little redirection, and sometimes she requires it every minute or so. She is in 3rd grade now, and in just one year of doing this everyday, we have seen marked improvement. I think it is something that is to some degree outgrown; I certainly am far less "spacey" than I was in school, but I also think it is important to help children to redirect until it becomes an automatic skill for them, because undeniably, being able to focus on a task on demand is an important skill necessary for success in both in academia and in life.

@ Christie: Thank you for the information on folic acid. We might have to give that a try.

Debbie - posted on 11/02/2009

I am so glad I joined this site. I have two gifted sons who are nothing alike. My 12 year old was never absent minded but my 10 year old is so bad I began doubting his giftedness. Last year I asked his teachers and doctor if they noticed signs of ADD or ADHD. Of couse they all said things like never and not here at school but I swear it's like he doesn't even go in the building in the morning! He has no idea what he has just done. Missing assignments are common. He can take hours to do something that should take 5 minutes just because he doesn't care about it.If I ask about something that I know happened at school, half the time he has no memory of it. Of course if it is something he loves he will spend hours in his own little world and CANNOT stop until he is finished.

It helps that he has a friend in class with him who has the same problem. His mom and I compare notes after the boys get home everyday and between us we can usually figure out the missing links. It is so frustrating though. I used to give him a hard time about it but now I try and remind myself it's just how he's wired.

Joanna - posted on 10/27/2009

Hi Amy! Hang in there mama. After starting the thread and reading everybody's posts I have learned that there is probably little we can do to change the behaviors in these kids that drive us a little crazy. I have learned that these kids and all their quirkiness makes us smile more than just about anything else. I have learned that there are plenty of moms on here that we can commiserate and laugh with.

As far as the odd, random comments...I get that too. I am sure that this is because his brain works a little differently that yours and mine, and because he is thinking in more creative and abstract ways. As long as the comments are appropriate, encourage it. We live in a crazy world that has gone horribly wrong and maybe that is because of the stagnant, noncreative way of thinking of the majority of people. I'd like to think that when we are old, our crazy little kids will grow up and with their crazy ideas will make the world a better place.

Amy - posted on 10/25/2009

Hello Joanna,

I was stunned to read your post and thank you. I deal with this everyday with my now 12 year old gifted child. I have tried the same things and nothing seems to work. This year I have walked to his class with him every morning until he gets his work turned in and threatened to sit in class with him. He is exceptionally sweet and a good kid but I sware I have to catch myself from losing my temper with him over assignments that he doesn't turn in (after he does them) and he forgets stuff constantly. I have another gifted son who is the opposite of him and it is so odd. My son also has a tendancy when people are having a converasation to blurt out the most odd (random) things. I frequently question what planet he is on. Anyone have the same issue with that? Help!

Jillian - posted on 10/23/2009

I've lost my car a couple of times. Does that count? Thank goodness for the beeping thingo on the remote unlock. Didn't work when I drove my mother's car up to the shops and walked back, though.

Joanna - posted on 10/23/2009

hahaha!!! My son lost his pants at school once! He had to change into shorts for gym class......I was boggled. How in the heck do you lose your pants????

Regina - posted on 10/23/2009

this posting has made me laugh from start to finish. My fav from my 11 year old daughter: she came home one day from 6th grade with no socks when we asked her why she said she lost them at lunch. As you all know all you can do is smile because trying to get them to remember how they came home with shoes but lost their socks is a lost cause. I laughed and gave her a hug.

Patti - posted on 10/10/2009

hi joanna, i have a space cadet 2! oh my! my son missed his bus stop and i had to chase the bus down to get him after i cried the whole time b/c i was truely scared for him. i think it is a gifted kid thing. reading your story reminds me of my life,like i wrote your post. cody is so smart but so absent minded and in another world. his little brother isnot gifted has common sense and tells cody dont do that and cody says huh? it kills my little one b/c he is totally common sense and hands on while cody is upper extreme gifted and no common sense. good teachers are important. i talk to the teacher as soon as i find out who she is before school start and stay in touch with both teachers on a regular basis.stay on him and stay on the teacher. these kids are blessings and we have to try to be patient with them good luck and god bless

Joanna - posted on 10/03/2009

I have seen several moms here refer to the kids as 'absent minded professors.' That makes me laugh because that is what my Granny calls Caleb.



Lisa - Welcome! Let us know how talking to the teacher works for you. Hope they are understanding and will work with you and your little one!!!



My son has been doing a little better these past two weeks. No missing homework in two weeks! That is HUGE!

Lisa - posted on 10/02/2009

Wow....I was at my wits end and decided to check this site for some tips! Good to know I'm not the only one with an absent minded professor!!!! I'm definitely going to ask the doctor about folate. I will be sharing this info with his teacher as well so she will be a little more understanding and helpful.

Lauryan - posted on 09/29/2009

welcome Shirl, I am sure that here you will get some insightful and helpful advice and at the very least some listening ears :D

Shirley - posted on 09/29/2009

Just a quick thanks to Lauryan for sending this link...I feel right at home. ;-)



I have a 13yr old son who is literally on another planet...he has been diagnoised ADD and had his IQ extensively tested and has superior intellegence for his age and grade however, he performs poorly at school, never does homework, constantly looses papers etc, is extremely forgetful with simple instructions (it literally goes in one ear and out the other), has VERY bad time management, is always late for everything and yes, he is extremely untidy no matter what lengths I go to to ensure things are easy for him to keep himself and his surrounds relatively neat.(lol..he is a boy after all) I will add that he is quite capable of telling all that will listen how I forgot to collect him from daycare in the year 2000 but forgets a simple *Please feed the dogs* instruction within seconds of recieving said instruction.



It is beyond frustrating that its a constant battle to get him to fulfil his potential but in class he is either dreaming out the window or being the class clown. He has been on Ritalin but im not sure for how much longer and I cant say i have seen any particular significant improvements to his work. The shrink told me that if he really needed it, then we should see a huge improvement. As its been pointed out to me time and time again, i think his only problem is that he is just deathly bored at school and refuses to bother.



Im really at my wits end and just find myself hoping he can successfully finish this school year (+-2 more months) so we can reassess the situation for the hundredth time and finally come to some kind of solution that would benefit him. He is just literally coasting through life at the moment with barely a care in the world. Its so worrying!!



TFR!

Kerry - posted on 09/29/2009

this sounds like all 4 of my kids and myself. Even using a day planner doesn't work for me most times. My daughters lose things all the time because they set it down and forget where it is. My oldest, now 20, always forgot to turn in assignments...its a byproduct of being so smart that your mind is constantly moving and the little things, sometimes, get forgotten.



He will probably always be late to things as well. The concept of time management is not high on the list, at least for my kids. And picking up after themselves is also not high up there because its such a benign task that seems beneath them or so boring that they just toss it aside.

AmBuer - posted on 09/28/2009

Absolutely! I hear from other parents my daughter stays with or old teachers that "Izzie forgot this or Izzie left this on the playground" It has all become so normal to me, that if I wasn't keeping track of her things I would feel out of place! For mornings I have had great sucess with posting a picture chart by the door as a checklist of things she needs before going out the door. And then if the teachers are compliant, one in her cubby or by her cubby that she can check before leaving school. Its not that our kids are not listening, its just they have so much in their head and trying to organize their thoughts is hard enough, let alone organize their things! My daughter is 6, and it does get better as she matures. We have our daughter in a charter artsteach school, and it is making all the difference in the world. Her school is small, and they reinforce the lessons they have through the arts. The teachers are all wonderful, understanding, and open to teaching a different way and allowing the students to learn in a way that suits them. The school relies heavily on parent volunteers, so its nice that there are so many mommies and dadies running around to keep watch over things. Boo Boos are kissed, hugs are doled out, you hear parents getting excited when a kid gets it, any kid... HEck my daughter and the art/drama teacher have formed a real bond, and she will often come and check up on Izzie in the middle of the day in between classes.

You will find your way through this, and I agree medication should be a very last resort. You know your kid better than anyone. Keep up with the therapies, and keep looking for finding an approach that works for him. I also keep things in the same spot so its easier to remember for her. It takes a lot of work on the parental side keeping things organized, but it is worth it. As your son matures you will see he is growing out of things, and needs to tweak his routine or whatever it is that works. Keep looking for the right place for him to be, the right teachers, the right people to be around him, and the right things for him. Who cares what society thinks and do what is right for him, which is what you are doing by the sounds of it. Keep up the great job!

Lauryan - posted on 09/25/2009

My younger brother used to lose his jackets all the time (and other things too!). Eventually one winter when he lost his school jersey (we have uniforms here) she made him go to school without one for a few days. It backfired though when one of the teachers took pity on him and gave him one from the lost property box! haha

Joanna - posted on 09/25/2009

Thanks! I will check it out. I am now up to 3 lost jackets this year!!!!!! Ahhhh! I cannot afford to treat jackets and hoodies as disposable. Not sure what I am going to do when it gets really cold and he starts losing coats. I am going to have him use his allowance money to buy the next one to see if maybe he will keep better track of it. Is that mean?? Anyone think that may work??? I don"t want to be too harsh with him because I don't think that this is his fault. He just lives in own world and you don't need a jacket there. LOL.

Denise - posted on 09/25/2009

For all of you moms out there. The best drink for your talented and not so talented children is VEMMA Next drink. It's the best vitamin drink out there for kids ages up to 12. Each serving has 100% folio and omega 3 plus all other necessary vitamins for them to grow. It's like a vitamin in a drink form that tastes a lot like OJ. My 8 & 9 yr old girls love it. The only way to buy it is through VEMMA. Go to www.vemma.com.