My son is driving me NUTS!!!!

Sasha - posted on 01/29/2009

I do think the idea of laying down the rules straight and unemotionaly is a key to homeschooling. There will probably be times when he pushes to find out if you are serious, but all our kids have to do this. It's a normal and healthy part of development. It's great that that one has passed, and now you get to recharge in readyness for the next one. :)

all the best

Amanda - posted on 01/28/2009

Hello!

I have had the same challenges with my son! He is now 10 years old and in public school. I know each school district is different, but Snohomish School District was very willing to work with us to get Josh what he needed. As a kindergartener they suggested having him go read to the pre-schoolers or tutor other students when he needed more challenges. He loved it! Our school does have a Highly Capable program that they test into district wide. It has been a great fit for him, they put 4th-6th graders together so age isn't as much an issue. My son's behavior problems disappeared as soon as he started this program.
If you want to keep homeschooling, see if there are any other parents in your homeschooling groups or classes having similar challenges, maybe you can set up a group that could do field trips, experiments, hands on projects, etc. I know it must be harder trying to deal with this at home with younger kids as well. You may want to go meet with the principal/teachers at some local schools to see what options there might be, you may be pleasantly surprised!

Rebecca - posted on 01/27/2009

definitely getting out of the house and going on field trips provides stimulation - but it can be as simple as a walk in nature, looking at plants, bugs, etc whatever you see and then going to find out more about whatever you saw on your walk. they spend a lot of energy on running around on walks in nature and it's really an ideal learning environment for kids of all ages (we have a backpack carry thing for our two year old so it's easy to carry her if she gets tired).

Sasha - posted on 01/27/2009

When my son went to school he was tested as reading age of 11, and as we start school at 4 here that is quite ahead. Because he couldn't tell them what had happened in the story they insisted he was only 'decoding' the text, and not truly reading. My argument was always, so if that's the case how comes he shows preferences in what he reads, and he reads so much to himself? This and the fact that the classteacher wouldn't let him write any letters or use his left hand hold a pen made me pull him out after half a school term, he was out a couple of years, and I do not feel I had any choice. He went back when he needed to, and it was still hard for him and the school, but the two adapted to each other with the daily phonecalls and record keeping. He was coming home with achievment certificates most days because they were so impressed with what he could do. The biggest problem my daughter has had so far is 'Cloe won't play with me any more'. You know what they say, a change is as good as a rest.

Lynda - posted on 01/27/2009

My son is grade 2 and is reading grade 6. Putting your son in public school might help as public school are there to help. With my son they proviide him with things to challenge him as they know he is gifted If f he is bored he does circles on the floor at school. I dont know how u cope with home school, I would go crazy. They have said my son could skip a grade but I will not do that as he has to learn to relate to chhildren his own age. I was told if he skips it will not help him later in life as he will not be able to relate to his own age.

Sasha - posted on 01/26/2009

How do they get so good at pushing buttons? I quit smoking in '99 to have my daughter, and untill then my calm down had been . a cup of earl grey, a gingernut biscuit and a cigerette. How I have stayed off them I have no idea. I wouldn't advise starting smoking to help you cope, i just miss it myself somtimes. I have heard of lots of things that people do to get through those moments when you are in no dought that their aim in life is to see you get packed off to the funny farm. I knew one women who would put on headphones and do pelvic floor exercises, and a couple have recomended foot spas to me. I find creativity a real help. Card making, scrapbooking, jewlrey making, candles, soap anything realy. some get a huge realese form weight training or cardio workouts, then there is always the old faithfull of digging a hole in the garden or chopping firewood. I am constantly amazed that i have got this far down that I can look back and see how very far he has come, my little silent golden boy who is now a strapping sixfoot goth, i find that the greatest aid to coping when he pushes me now. After all, there was a time I never thought he would advance far enough to have a lot of the problems and behaviours he has today.

Tracy - posted on 01/26/2009

That is great. Keep it up! I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Lauryan - posted on 01/26/2009

Marisa - am glad it seems to be working out!



glad you had a good week

Marisa - posted on 01/26/2009

Thank you for all your suggestions.  At this time, homeschool is the only option.  I have consulted with many teachers and they all agree- he won't survive a school setting.  Furthermore, my training is as a teacher and I do know how to teach.  I just need to not allow him to push my buttons.  He has plenty of interaction with other children and organized classes.   We had a great week this week.  I tried a new approach.  I refused to fight- told him all the assignments for the day, what time school was done, and if he wasn't done, he would lose his Legos after school...  And it worked.  He was mostly a joy to teach. 

Sarah - posted on 01/26/2009

Maybe interaction with other children would be good for him! He may be the one being tortured you never know until you try! Sound like he is craving attention..If he's the oldest then I would put money on that being the problem.. Him not being challenged I am sure has a little to do with it.. but it sounds like to me he is acting out for attention. I agree you on public schools, but he has to learn at some point that he will need to live and be a part of society. It's good for your other child to join. He needs to get used to that if your going to homeschool them all. It sounds like he desperately needs to be around other children.. Is there a church that does Mothers day out.. a play ground.. a group for mothers that homeschool in your area? just an idea for some support!

Sasha - posted on 01/26/2009

my son has aspergers and needed the contant chalenge to stop him being vilolent and destructive. I had to keep out of school for a while, but finaly had to send him because I did not the resorces nessesary. The UK education system refused to fast track him, and now he will not do anything that he needs to work at. If you can find a school that will put him in a few grades ahead I would go for it, and make sure he goes to out of school activities with kids of his own biological age who he will not see in school. It's all a balencing act. If you don't give the opportunity to put in some effort in learning the idea will be planted that no effort is required in life.

Mel - posted on 01/26/2009

Marisa, I agree with Candy....maybe a mainstream school would help. We can't afford private school, so we have opted for public schools....my daughter was at one public school, where during her first year she was so bored because there was no challenge, and that school had no policy in place for children who were outside of the norm. Luckily, we found another public school nearby, who have been brilliant. Not only did they skip her up a grade, they are also giving her work from the higher grades, and library books for readers to try and challenge her more. One of the things she has truly benefited from is the social contact that she gets from school, as well as participating in the extracurricular activities such as the school choir. Most of her friends are in grades higher than her. Her school has also taken great care to put her in a class with one or two other advanced children, so they can offer some friendly competition to each other, as well someone in their grade on the same sort of wave length. I'm in Australia too though, so I'm not sure what your schooling options are, but it really pays to shop around, and if possible get recommendations from others who attend the school. I really admire anyone who has the patience and discipline to home school, but maybe a break would benefit you all. Good luck!

Candy - posted on 01/25/2009

Marisa, do you have Montessori or Steiner schools where you are?  Or a very selective school you could send him to?  Like my own dear little man (who is now 23 and happy, thank god), yours has learnt how to push all your buttons, and that's not a good learning situation (I am a teacher by profession and have taught gifted kids all my life).  I would be looking for the right school for him so he isn't controlling his environment like that. Somewhere with a strong disciplinary code- yes he will end up outside the Principal's office but he will soon learn how boring that is- and inspired teachers.

You could just move to Australia and send him to Sydney Grammar School- that's where my boy met his match, and made friends... :D

Good on you for trying to home school him, but you sound like you need a break for your own sake as well as his- also this will give your 5-yr-old a fair go.

Tracy - posted on 01/21/2009

Check out Celebrate Calm. It has really helped me and several of my freinds who have gone threw some of the stuff you are going threw.

Alison - posted on 01/21/2009

I think field trips are a great idea, too. Especially if you can go without your two little ones. You can go behind the scenes at the grocery store, post office, etc. (after getting their permission).

My son is very similar to yours. Recently I realized that he likes to "teach" others and I've allowed him to spend a little time with younger kids nearby. It seems to relieve some of his drive and provides a challenge of a different kind... I also let him teach me things he learns at soccer practice, or a game he has made up, etc. -- things that won't undermine my authority!

Missy - posted on 01/21/2009

What are his current interests? Maybe you need some field trips. We live near DC, so I recently took my son to the Natural History Museum. It's free, so that was a GREAT bonus since money is tight. He learned a LOT and the trip kept him motivated for days afterward. I decided to take him to the museum after he got into a craze about dinosaurs and Egyptian mummies. But I think any educational trip for a change of pace is really helpful.

Lauryan - posted on 01/21/2009

unfortunately I have no idea what to suggest at all...



I hope that you find your solution soon though and that it works out best for everyone!!