Our experience in skipping Kindergarten

AmBuer - posted on 09/29/2009

I agree misty, the school system needs reform, and in a bad way. In my opinion, the no child left behind act made it worse. I saw it all over my daughters school teachers prompting kids for test answers, or changing the answer so they could pass and get their funding. Principals sticking up for not so good teachers, so they could protect their job as well. I was a 1st and 5th grade co-teacher,as I was finishing my education degree. I ultimately decided not to finish that degree and have since changed to human services instead. I am so sad by our school system, and I feel like schools are training kids to pass tests, not to educate them, and prepare them for the real world. So okay, my daughter may not get into Stanford because we chose to keep her in a charter school that teaches through the arts, but I don't care. She is learning, she is not just learning textbook things, but she is learning how that works in the real world, she is able to question, observe, feel, see, touch and apply what she is learning to life. And she is having fun, learning how to think for herself, and not be told what she needs to think. My only issue is this school only goes up to fifth grade, so it is finding an equal place for her to go that is as wonderful as this school has been!

Misty - posted on 09/29/2009

Gonna get on a soap box for a moment.... I think we as parents do what we think is best for our kids and sometimes it ends up biting us in the butt. However, I really think this would not be an issue if there were not so much pressure on the national testing and the classroom teachers were allowed to do what they are educated to do. EDUCATE KIDS! Not get the best scores. If class sizes were smaller and teachers were allowed and able to teach each kid as the individual that they are, alot of this would simply take care of itself. As it is right now, every child has to be treated the same in regards to curriculum and discipline to keep it EQUAL and FAIR. I do not agree with this. What is fair for one child is not necessarily fair to another. There is no such thing as fair. They say differentiation in the classroom is key but with our class sizes like they are, funding as it is, pressure at its highest, this is not as likely as the powers that be may think. In the perfect world, we would all leave our kids with their aged peers and know that our child would be educated as they should. Challenged. But we cant rely on that in todays school system. I am a teacher and know this first hand. I see all of my kids as individuals. I treat each one as if no one else is there. I push each one differently, discipline each one with what works for them. I am lucky though to have been in a district with a principal that supported me. This is now quickly fading with new administration. We are turning into one of those 'other schools' and it is somewhat due to the fact that we are growing and our class sizes are getting maxed out. We made the decision to move our daughter up because we wanted her to be challenged and did not want her to interfere with others learning. Academically that was working until her class was maxed out and actually went over the limit. My point is that in a perfect school system with only caring and driven teachers with managable class sizes, our gifted kids would be fine. We are only doing what we feel is necessary. But maybe some relief would come from some changes in the education system. Support smaller classes, teacher pay raise, and discipline strategies that are unique to the child, and curriculum that is more self paced and related to each individual child. Okay, Im done. I hope that made sense to someone. And let me remind you all.... I am both an educator of minds and mother of one extremely gifted, and hard to manage 8 year old girl, who has skipped a grade and is now soaring through 4th.

AmBuer - posted on 09/28/2009

Hi, I was a child whos parents had me skip kinder. I was not yet 5 when I was in first grade. I had an easy time educationally and even socially up until 5th grade. Then the other girls started to develop. Then in jumior high, other girls were starting to date, but I was too young for my parents taste. Then in High school I was misunderstood because my parents felt those kids in my class were too mature, and I was not allowed to hang out with them. Despite them acknowledging I was a good kid, I was mature beyond my age, way more than some of those kids, and I always followed the rules. But to allow a 16 year old senior to go to a party with 18 year old boys was unthinkable to them. I was often picked on in school, not because I wasn't cute, funny, smart, or with the right clique, but because I was younger and smart, and that was intimidatng and because I wasn't really allowed to get to know them in that social setting.

I also had some academic problems when I got in high school, because I was younger and I just didn't get some of the things. Like math was not even in my realm, but I was at a college writing and reading level in 8th grade. I begged my parents to allow me to repeat 8th grade, I knew I was not ready, and I really wanted to enjoy high school. But they said no, and that was it. High school was not the best experience for me. Even though I had a great time in elementary, I had friends, I went to their parties.

I know this seems trivial, but you really have to be open to allowing your child to mature with their peers if you choose to skip an early grade. If you set them up to be with older kids, then allow them to really be with them, get to know them, allow the natural process to happen. It really can effect their whole attitude on school and even life after that if they have a miserable experience. HIgh school is tough, kids are mean, there is a lot of competition out there. My advice is to become as involved with your kid and their friends as possible. Teach them to make safe, healthy and good choices for them, and then when the time comes, stand back and help them when they fall, and let them live their life, knowing you did your job as a parent.

We thought about advancing our daughter, but I know that the social aspect is far greater of a lesson than I can give her. So we chose to keep her in her class, and supplement with extraciricular activities, and give her lots of brain food as I call it like puzzles, reading the word of the day, brain games, etc. Also she is learning the drums, and she will be back in gymnastics (we just moved, waiting on new session). Not having to work so hard in school allows her to get more out of it, and more out of her life at home and doing the activities she loves doing. Above all, she is a kid, and she should be allowed to enjoy it. Every kid is different, and only you, the parents will know what is right for your kid. But please think about the long term aspects of holding back or pushing your kid forward.

Lauryan - posted on 09/24/2009

It's really lovely to hear that there are positive experiences that happen with educating our little geniuses! It makes me smile to think that maybe, just maybe, we don't have to always stress and worry about helping our kiddies through school.

Misty - posted on 09/13/2009

It is nice to hear good stories and know that some are sharing the same experience as me, but in a good way. Our daughter skipped Kinder because she was already doing multiplication, division and reading on a 4th grade level at 5 years old. This will be the first year that it seems like the teachers may be happy to have her. It has been a challenge because socially she is on target but academically she is above. This year we have a new principal who I went to touch base with on my daughters behavior. She wanted to move her up another grade which we chose not to do because she already struggles with behavior and she would also be passing her brother. The teachers have been great and really trying to work with her but seems that the principal is 'showing me'. Teachers and I have decided that all will be worked out among ourselves. Any encouraging advice is welcome and congratulations with all success that you guys have experienced.

Christie - posted on 09/12/2009

Your very lucky that the school will let you skip K. My daughter's school doesn't allow skipping even though going into k she was reading at a 2nd grade level etc..They also don't do the testing for the gifted program until 3rd grade. So my daughter has been "hanging out" for yrs bored to tears. We've done things on our on at home to help challenge her but if given the choice we would have skipped k. She just started 3rd a couple of weeks ago and still haven't heard back from the one person in charge of the gifted classes. I even left on the message she has already been tested by a doctor we just want to get her started...it's like they treat everyone like the parents who think THEIR kid is the smarted and prettiest:) so if you can do it now do it...

Sandra - posted on 09/04/2009

Thanks for posting Sarah-- that is exactly liike my son. He had a rough patch when he was getting "S" instead of "E" for the day on behavior due to-- you guessed it-- TALKING! I think he will do very well, but I am still nervous as heck at this stage.

Rebekah - posted on 09/04/2009

Thanks for sharing your positive story and giving insight into how you selected the right school. We still have a while before our son can start school and I'm already dreading the process due to all the horror stories I've heard. Thanks for adding a good one to the mix!

Sara - posted on 09/04/2009

This story is almost identical to that of my son. We were originally in a "very good" school district where my son began pre-k at age four. This was a very tough year on him. He was so board that he was always in trouble and he could NOT make friends as he was on a whole other level mentally. At the end of the year the district pressured me to place him in 2nd grade (yes, skipping two years) without even testing him. I was basically told that if I did not agree we would have to put him in private school. Needless to say, I was not happy. My sister had skipped one grade and struggled a great deal socially so I was not keen on the idea of skipping a grade, much less two.

Long story short, I chose to move that summer to place him in another district (with a strong, all day, K program). As you stated, most kids are not tested until 1st grade, but they did ask to test my son before he began K. He tested at 99 percentile across the board. The new district also INSISTED that he go to 1st grade (better than 2nd). I was very nervous about the social aspect but it was the smartest thing we could have done. We were very blessed in that he was placed with a teacher who also had two gifted children of her own. She new exactly what all of those gifted quirks were and how to work with them. Beyond that, she decided to loop up with him and teach him in 2nd grade as well. We were SO lucky! He still struggles with the organization and focusing in the regular classroom (typical of a gifted child) but all in all he has continued to grow and keep up with his peers. Academics is not at all a concern, but I do watch him on an emotional level very closely and evaluate each year if this is the best for him. Thus far I think it was the best thing we could have done for him. While he might not be as mature he does do much better with the kids on a social level than he did with those his own age.

He is now 9 and in the 5th grade. I am finally at a place that I feel he is going to be just fine and I have finally relaxed.

The most important advice I can offer is to stay in close contact with his teachers throughout the years. There are many "quirks" to our gifted children. While he does great academically there is a constant battle to remember what he is to bring to class, to let the teacher teach and not try to "assume" he knows what is going on and try teaching the other kids himself, TALKING, focusing long enough to complete his assignments and/or distracting the other kids when he is done so that they cannot finish. Simply by staying in contact I am able to provide a few pep talks and pointers at home before school and in the evenings to help him find alternative outlets so that everyone can be more productive. The teachers greatly appreciate the proactive approach from the sidelines and each year we have tend to have things running smoothly after the first couple of months.

Lisa - posted on 09/02/2009

Skipping is not common here in Australia, but it does happen and it does generate a lot of flack. But honestly, I think the majority of that is from people who have no clue about the decisions we face when parenting a gifted child and really the negativity should be kept to themselves.

I think that when we find someone who is prepared to step up and offer some help along this difficult road, we should grab it and run with it!

Sandra - posted on 09/02/2009

Thanks Lisa! I know those who do choose to skip get a lot of flack for doing it... I hope it is the right decision. We lucked out that she was so eager to work with us. I think if you go to the GT coordinators they really will go to bat for GT kids because they genuinely like them. Some classroom teachers may not, or may be skeptical. She was eager to help in any way she could and thinks of him as a treasure.

Lisa - posted on 09/01/2009

Sandra it sounds like you have a wonderful co-ordinator and that your son's school is doing everything possible to accommodate his needs and give him a rewarding introduction to school! Congratulations on a huge achievement. I personally agree with you that it was the best possible time to skip, before there were any routines or friendships which would be affected. Best of luck to your son.