problem with having gifted child first

Susan - posted on 12/07/2009

My sister was considered gifted and I was considered bright, "if only I would try harder". What I think my teachers and parents missed was that I was just bored. So I am super sensitive to this issue. I struggled so much in elementary school because of this, but when I hit 7th grade I took off because the set up suited me better. A different teacher every hour was much better for me. My oldest is 6, and highly gifted. My second son is only a year and I am trying not to compare, but already I see differences. Still, I am excited to see who he turns out to be. His older brother was extremely hard to raise during the three and four years, so I will be glad if they do not resemble each other in those ways. :-) I am pregnant with the third, so we shall see about this one as well...

Teri - posted on 12/05/2009

My oldest who is now 11 is very gifted. She was my first and only so I had no clue that the things she knew weren't normal. She was also having a number of disipline issues that, I think, kept her teachers from noticing or at least letting me know that she was ahead of all her classmates. I would only get the reports of what she was doing wrong and always got the "she's doing fine with her work but she did this wrong and that wrong". In 2nd grade she calmed down and I was then finally told how advanced she really was. Last year she was accepted into a magnet GT school that is part of our district and I was shocked at her test scores and IQ. Anyway, I had my second daughter 3 1/2 years ago and now I see the difference. At 3 she was still not counting or saying her ABC's. I was so worried that I brought her in to get tested. Found out she is actually still above average for her age and since the test 3 months ago her skills have just gone off the charts. I think some just get there faster. I still don't think the youngest will be gifted but I think that it may be nice to have a child who is just normal for once.

Lauryan - posted on 11/21/2009

Usually siblings have IQ's within 10-points of each other. It's just that even though you have two kids who may both be gifted, their giftedness may lie in different areas, or their personalities may be so different that it shows through in different ways, or at different life stages...

Sheryl - posted on 10/08/2009

I know exactly what you mean. Good to hear someone else say it! Thanks.

Lisa - posted on 10/08/2009

My first son is extremely gifted. My second son came along and I had the same issue you did. I was not used to him 'working' at things, his speech was difficult and he was not reading before Kindergarten. My big surprise came near the end of 2nd grade when his test scores sky-rocketed. He since has blossomed in many areas and is considered to be one of the most gifted mathematicians in the entire elementary. He tested in the 12 grade range when in third grade and there is no signs of him slowing down. It just seems that he needed to find his own style, or maybe he had some other issues to deal with other than academics at first. I am now thinking that if you have one gifted child, you should not count out your others just because the are not showing their talents in the same way or the same time as your first. I was very surprised at how this worked out!!

Laura - posted on 10/06/2009

Me! My DS turned 6 the last day of our cut off, so he is the youngest in his class, & excelling. My DD turned 5 just after the cut off & is not in K this year. She was in preschool for 2 years, & can't really learn much more. I always called my DS the 'smart one', & DD the 'pretty/cute one'. I feel horrible about that now. She is bright, just not like DS, though, I think if she tried she could be. She just expects to 'get' everything, &, if not, she quits, which, for now, sucks. =P



It is hard not to compare. DH & I were/are both photo memory/get it the 1st time people, &, DD is more like my sister, & DH's sister, very smart, just needs to 'study'. I am working on not comparing at this point. Good luck! 'Normal' is what you make of it. =)



FWIW, DH & I are both numbers/math 'nerds', & so is DS. LOL He beat all the kids in his 1st grade class on a math 'game'. =) I LOVE 'watching' his mind work. I've always heard boys are immature, & it would be better to hold a boy back & push a girl forward, but, in our case, my DS is fine being the youngest, &, quite honestly, I think my DD will be good being one of the oldest in her class. She has the dominate/leader personality. LOL DS is way laid back, & follows others.



Sorry so long. My kids are just way, way different. I have a feeling DD will be my social butterfly.