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Tell your child the results of their IQ test, or not?

Melissa - posted on 07/29/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have 2 HG sons. The older one, who is 11, keeps pestering me to show him the results of his IQ test he took a few years ago. He insists that it's his personal information and he deserves to know. In the past, I have always been able to redirect the conversation away from sharing the actual number by just telling him that his score was important only to ensure that his academic needs are being met. I do agree that he should be allowed to find out at some future time, but I fear that sharing the score now will lead to a competition between him and his peers and brother. I also explained that the number is somewhat irrelevant, since it doesn't guarantee success or failure, it's just one measure of a person's potential. But, he argues that if it isn't that important, I ought to just tell him. I was thinking of telling him I will show him once he is a certain age. What do you think?

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Heidi - posted on 08/17/2012

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I would agree with your son, do you hide his report cards, and other test scores? My oldest (now 12) was diagnosed with aspergers when he was 5. Many people (even his middle school ) ask why we told him ( he was in the room when he was diagnosed). How could I not tell him, let him guess what is wrong, he is smart enough to know it is something. He has seen his IQ scores, and I had seen mine at his age. I feel that it helped me to understand why the teachers were teaching the way they were, and why I didn't fit in with my peers. It also helped me to understand what I needed and to advocate for my own needs. I had the higher IQ, but my sister had better grades, and was a cheerleader. I never told my peers, It wasn't cool to be gifted.


It sounds like you are making it a bigger deal that it is.

Amy - posted on 08/10/2012

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I'm a trained therapist and mom of gifted kids and I can tell you that I feel like there's no good reason to have a child know their IQ score. For most people that know it's all about the superiority of having a higher IQ than a large percentage of others and feeling like that means something is better about you. I tell my children all that time that there are plenty of people with high IQ's who don't have people skills or the study habits needed to be successful in life. They don't get the best jobs because they can't get along with others or don't get through college because they lack the study skills to achieve. My kids know that they have certain academic gifts and that other kids have other kinds of gifts. That's my opinion and I know some parents encourage their children to flaunt or tell others how smart they are but I feel like you have to show you're smart and you know how to achieve.

Chaya - posted on 07/29/2012

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I found out my IQ results by accident, I wish I'd never found out. It frustrates me when I don't understand something I think I should, when really the problem is that I have Duanes syndrome,dyslexia, and a few other issues. I may be reasonably intelligent, but I have neurological issues too.

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