very inteligent 15 year old son

Heather - posted on 07/22/2012

Sorry I have not updated this in quite a while! Blake is doing VERY well now! He finished high school this year with an above average GPA, joined the Army and is doing what makes him happy. I will let you all in on how we dealt with this situation. First of all we helped him get a part time job. He absolutely loved it and even was thought about for promotion to management before he joined the Army. Second, we gave him specific direction as to what we expected from him. We got him a journal to give him some daily direction, which was an amazing help! Third, we gave him a little more latitude with his personal life. I had noticed he didn't go out with friends and had not even dated yet at 16. Lastly and most important, we asked him what he wanted from us and out of his life and asked him how he thought he was going to get there. I think once he realized that we were there to help him, not bug the crap out of him, he was much more willing to put the time and energy into doing what he needed to do. His senior year was very successful, he joined the tennis and bowling teams, went to the prom, voulenteered at our local animal shelter, our church and his little brother's school. He made several very good friends and was overall much happier and outgoing than he had been before. We did get very lucky with Blake, he is an open young man and does not really have a "filter". He says what he thinks and for the most part how he feels.
In closing, we could not be happier (or more proud of him!) with the decisions he has made in his life. He will be graduating from Advanced training in the Army in December, is enrolled in the ROTC program in collage the beginning of 2013, and is well on his way!
So, to all the moms out there (and children) with these issues, my best advice is to talk to your children and expect a long and honest conversation. It may be a hard one to hear, but defiantly worth it!

Rachael - posted on 07/21/2012

My brother and I were the same way. I never did homework, but I ended up going to a good college and I'm successful now. My brother did homework, but wouldn't turn it in and he dropped out of school. Try to get him interested in something outside of classes and home (i.e., extracurriculars, not video games), and it won't matter as much what his GPA is. Help him find a passion in life.

There may be other things going on in school, like other kids making fun of him for being too smart/teacher's pet/uncool, etc. Often, a teenager won't discuss these things with his parents.

Shannon - posted on 07/14/2012

My daughter is 9 with a 148 IQ and was also diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. Many behavioral issues are related to it and it gave us a better understanding of how her brain works. Even though she's got a form of autism, she generally appears and acts normal. Her major difference is her social behavior and stress reactions. She also just completed 4th grade at a year end 7th grade level and that was only because her school could not meet her educational needs. She got bored. We decided to change schools for the new year to one with teachers and staff familiar and specializing in Aspergers. Keep your fingers crossed!

Brandy - posted on 07/09/2012

I have a 16 year old daughter who is the same as your son. She tested at 132 on her IQ test. She did very well in school with her grades, but could not stay out of trouble. She has been kicked out of school twice in two years.

I have taken her to a professional for counseling. He says that children with such a high IQ are easily bored and need more stimulation than "ordinary" people. They will do their work and they have the ability to do anything that they set their minds to. If they are kept interested.

My daughter is currently in a private online high school that only requires 3 hours of attendance a day. She works at her own pace and she loves it. She finished 10th grade in four and a half months.

Maybe asking your son if he needs or wants more challenging classes is a good idea. It's just a thought. It worked for my daughter.

Jamielee - posted on 06/14/2012

I shouldn't be answering this, but I will for the sake of other moms that look this up and find your question.
Excuse the grammar. It's late and I'm a little tired.
I am not a mom. I am a 16 year old girl who is now doing terribly in school. My IQ is 162 and your son sounds EXACTLY like me. I'm Puerto Rican. My first language was Spanish. I learned English through TV shows and now I speak it better than most of my teachers. I even corrected Harvard College. In a matter of 2 years, I was in the top 5% and getting letters from the top schools in the world (Harvard, Yale, Cornell, Columbia etc...) Anyway, the point is...he may just be bored in school. Trust me, once you know what the teacher is talking about, you get bored and don't even pay attention to what the he says about homework and projects. It happened to me. My recommendation is you challenge him more. My friends are just like that too. We all have the same IQ's. It has to do with frustration and boredom. Also, if it's that serious, that could be the reason why he won't help you out at home. I mean, once he's depressed, bored, and frustrated with school he's just not going to leave it there and be a COMPLETELY different person at home. Seek help from a psychologist, get him harder classes, and remember he's not like any other kid. He's one of us.

P.S.: Yes, I realize this question is from 2009. But, it's 2012 and I found it. Any other person could be looking for this topic and come across your question, so I'm just giving my personal opinion.

Heather - posted on 08/27/2009

Thank you, first of all. Second, his school does have a website. The problem is we just got our first computer at the end of the school year last year and really could not adequetly keep track of his progress, and several of his teachers are not good at updating it regularly. This year hopefully, will be different! It is only the second day of school and he already has missed one assignment, and we talked about it endlessly over the summer. I don't know how to motivate him, as he doesn't seem to undertand the ramifications, including possibly not getting into his choice collage. His grades could be better if he would just turn in his homework. He got a 3.47 last year and his teachers said he could easily have gotten a 3.8-4. if he had turned in his work. Any ideas that don't include bribery???????

Kim - posted on 08/26/2009

I think that this is somewhat typical of a teenager - they have so much going on that they have dificulty keeping it all straight - I have a daughter that just turned 16 and she has been through some of these things. I think you will have to really stay on top of him with the school work - Does his school have a web site where you can monitor his work? If not, I feel for you. It's a wonderful thing to help a parent stay involved in their kid's school career. Good luck to you. This too shall pass....

Heather - posted on 07/18/2009

Thank you all for your enthusiastic support. It has been a huge eye opener, HELLO, I really need to remember he is only 15 and has a lot of growing up to do. Even though his brain is growing intelectually so fast, he still needs reminding to do every day things and maybe he doesn't think they are as imoportant as we all do. I guess by reminding him daily we will eventually get it through his head that he smells bad when he does not shower or forgets his deoderant. Thanks again for not being judgemental also, I was worried that people would think that I was a bad parent for "allowing" his poor hygiene. I do not allow it, however it does spill over, I keep the pre filled little toothbrushes, a small deoderant stick, and a comb in the car, for just these instances. It is really nice to be able to speak honestly to other parents with the same issues also, most other parents of boys that I have spoken to have told me to discipline him in various ways for these issues. I did not feel comfortable with taking that approach, I felt that he needs more positive reinforcement and reassurance. However I have made him aware that this needs to change. Thanks again!!!

Penny - posted on 07/18/2009

First, stop worrying. Second, he sounds just like my son. Third, this is normal teenage boy behaviour! Hang in there, you're doing a great job. Keep reminding him about the everyday stuff and don't let him use his inteligence as an excuse to avoid the things he doesn't want to do. Be patient, it will be worth it in the end because that's what I keep telling myself too :)

Shannon - posted on 07/18/2009

First of all, congratulations - to ALL of you! What an amazing journey!
Wow. This sounds familiar! My 12-year-old son is going into 8th grade this fall. He breezes through his classes with absolutely no effort, with the exception of reading which he feels is a "waste of time" (especially fiction - as there is "nothing to learn from it" (meaning facts)). Basic hygiene is a struggle (teeth brushing, showering, hair washing, etc.). This is all compounded by the fact that he poses extremely intelligent arguments against everything which I find increasingly difficult to counter with anything other than "because I'm your mother and I said so" (dad's not in the picture). His IQ is also over 140, physically he looks more like he's 15 or 16, his vocabulary exceeds most adults I know (sometimes mine - and I have a Masters in English!), but emotionally he's still just 12. I don't know if your son falls into the "intellectually astounding, but emotionally at age level" category. This is, by far, the norm and completely to be expected. Sometimes the emotional/social lags a little even. If so - you have a teenager and, as with all teenagers, it's all about consistency and consequences. Try not to equate his level of "book smart"-ness with the rest of his life. Boys, especially, compartmentalize; think about men - they're VERY good at it. As for not turning in his homework, perhaps he's just simply "moved on".. as in "been there, done that, I'm bored now... next!" and forgets about it. His brain likely works at 100 miles per hour as it is. Here at home, we put a big orange, yellow, pink, whatever, post-in note on the bathroom mirror and again on the front door to check the backpack. I know it sounds pathetic, but there just isn't time in the morning for everyone to remember everything - that's simply a fact of life today.

Tracy - posted on 07/12/2009

Wow, I felt like I was reading a discription of my own 16 yo son. I have been wondering the same things. Highly intelligent book wise but struggle with what we consider simple things like turning in homework. My son even has friends tell him that he could do so much higher level stuff if he tried. He will be a junior in high school this year and I starting to see a little bit of maturing happening with him. It seems we continue to have the same conversations over and over. But he does have goals and he does seem to want to accomplish them so I have faith that it will all work out.

Debbie - posted on 07/09/2009

My son also has a 140 IQ...He does good in school...but had issues with turning in his work..I had to remind him constantly to turn in his work...finally he does it on his own, with maybe a few not getting turned in...maybe this year will be better..I told my son if you are going to take time to do it, then you should get the credit for it...just be patient...things always have a way of turning around...Good luck!!

Sarah - posted on 07/09/2009

i have a 12 year old whos very talented in art technology and drama hes top of most his classes and at home hes the same i think its their way off letting off thier steam he seems to have a loving attitude which can be rare especially in teenagers these days i try to encourage glyn with his schooling as much as possible and try to make the house work and things less important its hard because lads can be so lazy at home but if its not left they ll never have theyre own concience for cleanliness maybe ask in school if hes attentive to the work when hes there?with an iq of 140 you seem to be doing something right and a 15 year old whos sweet and loving is like gold dust so trust your instincts!! advice is good but we always know our own children best good luck let me know how you go on !!