What do I do when my 1 year old throws tantrums????

Sarah - posted on 12/02/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I need HELP!!!! My 1 year old randomly throws tantrums for no reason and my husband and I can't figure out why. If I walk out of the room and leave the baby gate open for him to follow me, he is fine. But if I close it behind me, he goes nuts! I don't know what to do. He also gets very cranky when my husband comes into the room. My husband works nights, so I am having to take care of our son so he can get some sleep during the day. But, whenever he comes into the room after getting up in the afternoon, our son wants to fuss and wine for 10-15 mins, even after my husband picks him up and loves on him for a bit. I am 6 months pregnant with our 2nd child and I have placenta previa and I don't need that much stress on my hands. What can I do to help my son understand that I cannot hold him all day??

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Jessica - posted on 12/28/2009

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I love the book Positive Discipline: The First Three Years by Jane Nelson! Helped me understand so much! And helps with tantrums and discipline... helps me not feel like i am being negative/mean, and at the same time teaching boundaries and not being permissive...

Jessi - posted on 12/20/2009

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Oh and concerning the holding part...it comes down to you being the main carer and your son is attached to you.My 14 month old is the same with me,and we realized it was not going to help us as I am due in June 2010 with our 4th.So we began to have my husband do certian things with her on his own...and slowly she began to adjust to daddy being more active in her little life....so when daddies not working at night,hes bathing her and putting her to bed...outdoor rough play is good...normally best if you leave from line of sight while this takes place so bubs isnt tempted to just go to you.Seems like you need a much deserved break anyway!I know how you feel...I had my second daughter when my first was 11 months and 3 weeks old...so I did all this with a newborn baby.You will get through it,and hopefully your partner can do more to help...because your son needs that time with him so he can be alright with not always being with you(and a idea that worked for us-when baby is born,your son should be used to daddy time enough that daddy can take him out for a special day alone while you rest at home with the new baby)Hope this helped and take care.

Jessi - posted on 12/20/2009

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My 14 month old daughter began at about 11 months and literally throws herself full body onto the ground and thrashes about whilst crying...in a vain attempt to get her way!
After 3 little ones doing this over the past 4 years I have learnt to just ignore the tantrum for what it is,which is a means to an end for a baby/toddler/child..and remove the child from the situation,normally placing them in another part of the house and distracting them with something that gains their interest.
There are so many ways to stop a young baby from a tantrum whilst its taking place,but its not always possible to stop them from happening altogether.
But continue with the same reaction everytime he tantrums he will soon realize that mummy is not actually caring with my tantrum..and if it gets to much,I find time out in a portacot a good last resort...as normally I end of finding her asleep.If the baby is old enough to tantrum,then they are old enough for time out...

Kelly - posted on 12/04/2009

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i did the same as Rebecca i ignore them. my son is 2 1/2 and throws the odd wobbly but i ignore them and deal with the underlying problem if i can.
I just ignored his tramtrums at 1year old and if he was being silly i laughedand he stoped doing them.
With regards to your hubby working nights - mine does do and i have found that my son goes through stages of wanting tobe close to him and cuddly and othertimes he just throws a wobby and doesnt want him anywhere near him. All i can say is ride it out and tell him hes being silly and daddy just wants cuddles and kisses. If hes walking and playing games i found that tickles work well to bond them so heforgets about mummy for awhile.

Hope you find something to work for you.

Stefie - posted on 12/03/2009

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My daghter used to be horrible with this. I stopped leaving my house and got kind of depressed because she was so hard to deal with. She would hurt herself throwing around a room and I am expecting and can not hold her down.
I have tried the talking on their level approach, and it works for us. I simply try to figure out what is making her so upset and restate it in toddler languae. For instance, "Momma knows you angry because you can not have the hot pan, Momma knows that are are upset, Momma loves you" Then I try to show another activity that is fun and different like, I start reading a book out loud.
She is now a angel. In the last few weeks we now get compliments on how well she behaves and how polite she is.
The principle is that you show your toddler respect and understanding in the situation. You don't need to give in or anything, just let them know that you are there for them and on their side. I don't try to hold her or anything, just sit next to her and let her go.
Good luck.

Rebecca - posted on 12/03/2009

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The best way to deal with tantrums are to ignore them. Turn around and walk away. You can't reason with them or discipline them, it just makes them worse. My daughter rarely throws tantrums and I really do think it's because since day 1 of her throwing them, I have ignored them. They have tantrums to get attention and if you give in to them, they think this is the right way to behave to get your attention.



Bec :)

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