How can I get my daughters to be cleaner?

Indya - posted on 10/18/2011

consequences! They would have to earn EVERYTHING. Rather than rewarding them with things because of doing well, they would have to do well to even watch television, go outside, see or talk to friends etc.... BOTH of them! This will motivate them to take more personal responsibility and be honest about their part.

Janet - posted on 08/15/2011

I just realised another things I do. You tell them "Ok kids, if your room/living room/ dining room/ kitchen etc. is not cleaned/ emptied of your stuff, everything that isn't mine or your father's goes in the trash. Set a time limit: "At noon the garbage can comes out." Possible comebacks are "You'd never do that" or "You can't, it's mine". Disregard them and say that if you don't think I can I will and start throwing away stuff then and there. DON'T LOOK WEAK.

Janet - posted on 08/15/2011

Hmmm... My thirteen and eleven year old daughters don't need any motivation to clean up. It's a totally different story with my nine-year-old. She leaves her clothes in piles, and never puts away games. My advice would be to have strikes. If you don't put away your shoes, or coat or game etc. you get a warning to put it away. If s/he still doesn't put it away it's a strike. If she gets four warnings or two strikes in a day, she's not allowed to use the computer for 2 days. If it continues just up the punishment until she gets the hang of it. Once it gets a bit better, make it so 1 strike gets her a punishment. Another idea could be that if she gets more than 4 strikes/ 7 warnings a week, she'll not get her allowance. Soon she will not be messy.

Teresa - posted on 03/18/2011

Hi! I use to get this question all the time from moms... A good way is to engage them in the effort. They get to pick the family chores in rotation. But EVERYONE in the family has to participate or it won't work. The kids like to have a say over what we do as parents too :) they feel more like they have a say and less like they are being told what to do.

I just published a book for girls called GirlSpire that has all of these resources and more from communication to health and fitness. http://tinyurl.com/4obctgc

Hope this helps :)

Teresa

Jennifer - posted on 02/21/2011

my daughter is 10 and going thru this a bit too. Seems to come and go in waves. Sometimes she is very good about it, other times not so much. I think it is key to stay consistent. If the rule is make your bed before you leave for school, that is what needs to be done every morning. It its not done and the child misses his/her ride or bus-then they have to walk or ride a bike to school (for the 14 year old, this may be a little too much for hte 11 yo). Just like in adult life...i may like to stop and get coffee on my way to work, but if i'm running late i don't get to stop. same principle here. Same goes for making sure chores/homework is done before socializing.

Carrie - posted on 09/20/2010

My boys are not so bad about cleaning & grooming themselves... my oldest is materialistic so he takes good care of things and my youngest usually simply has a good attitude, but my daughter who is 10, is a slob. I've gone into her room with her and explained while also showing her how to clean it and organize it. I've done this several times. She still doesn't clean it. I've grounded her. I've explained to her that her worth to the world around her depends greatly on her productivity. It's not all about looks, kindness, love... like they show on t.v. A lot of it is about servitude to family, friends, self and strangers.
I've swatted her butt. I've yelled. I've pleaded.
Last night was my first break thru. She has only one pair of "skinny jeans" and she loves them. She wanted to wear them to school today and asked my to wash them. I said, "I'll wash your clothes if you clean your room. Otherwise, you'll be going to school in those god awful sweat pants you hate so much." Like magic, she cleaned her room.... well it's mostly clean... better than I had anticipated at least..

Carla - posted on 09/18/2010

i feel your pain i have 11 year old and a 6 year old who trash my house all the time...i have to make them brush thier teeth and so on.....its a job isnt it beinga mom...

Julie - posted on 09/17/2010

dont let them win at mind games. tell them you dont care whose mess it is they both contributed to it and so they will both clean it up. dont do their rooms just tell them that saturdays they go nowhere and do nothing untill it is cleaned give them the cleaning stuff and the vac and tell them to get on with it. give them the clean bedding and make them change their own beds and tell them that unless the washing comes down to the wash room it doesnt get done becuase you are not going looking for it. they will get the message when the favourite top isnt washe dfor them. as for personal hygeine. take them shopping for products and let them choose their own then make sure they have access in the bathroom and their bedroom to deoderant etc. including sanitary products. explain to them about hygeine and bacteria including smells and how it will affect them and any friendships. i dont like the cruel to be kind motto but you can get through to kids without resorting to this but if all else fails. mind games are a great one kids try. stay calm and posotive and tell them about consequences if things arent done when you ask them. give them a time scale for a task and then hand out the consequence if it doesnt by the time you set. i liked the grounded punishment. they hated staying in so that was a great one for me. plus the go to your room. our house has electrical breakers for each floor in the house so i can choose where to turn the electric off. their floor when they were sent up there as punishment (not to play games or watch tv).