coming clean

Margaret - posted on 07/21/2009

eh tell her to stick her head up her A$$.....your involved its that simple she is the one who needs to get over it her attitude isnt healthy for her son

Kristy - posted on 07/21/2009

thanks much

Christine - posted on 07/21/2009

yeah, but, since you are his dad's girlfriend and you have been together for a long time, you really are a big part of this child's life, whether his mother or grandmother like it. sometimes "girlfriends" can actually be closer to the child than the mother or the father----so don't let them sell you short. you know how you love this kid, and he know you love him. that's alot more than some "real" parents give their kids. don't worry about "them". you are certainly welcome with all of us.

Kristy - posted on 07/21/2009

this was from a bit ago. in repsonse to step-sons mom & grandma repadtely telling me and anyone they can that I am not a mom or a step-mom. they mentioned cicrcleof moms spefically.

Here is a pg version that may help explian-



i wanted to help him set one up

you want to teach him to lie and sneak my mom is not parinoid because she doesn't like the way u act about my son

YOU are not his step mom he is simply your boyfriend's son... i am not dead he has one mom...and circle of moms is for moms...when did u become one??????? I dont like the fact that u post things about mine and Jeff"s son. he is not ur friend, he is not ur son he is a child...u just happen to be his dad's girl friend

you sure didnt have him send me or my mom a friend request only ur family why? U NEED TO HAVE BOUNDRIES WHERE MY SON IS CONCERNED...i am glad u would have talked to his dad..I AM STILL HIS MOM





to different yet conected issues





thanks

Jesse - posted on 07/21/2009

I didn't see anything wrong with your post about wanting a baby, then you came clean. But I didn't see anything you needed to come clean about.....

Margaret - posted on 07/17/2009

yep thats the job of the step mum

im not so lucky my ex isnt that responsible that he can actually be trusted with the kids on his own for any extended period he has been known to just walk out of the house at the drop of a hat and leave them there alone even when they were babies. and unfortunately he has had a thing for party girls since we split.....so I can't even trust that there will at the least be someone else there who is sensible. with my back and knees etc going on me it wouldve actually been a relief if there was someone with some brains there in the background to make sure there welfare was always a consideration and to make sure they got the care they needed....unfortunately besides my daughters seeing his girlfriends leave his bedroom on mornings when they have been at his home and then walk out the front door of all of 9 girlfriends there hasnt been anything resembling a 'step mum' id like to think that perception was just jeolousy or some sort of emotional response to the situation......unfortunately it isnt......im not holding my breathe that my daughters will actually ever have what could be considered a 'step mum' being one doesnt just happen. A step mum Cares.

Christine - posted on 07/17/2009

when kevin and i got married he had both of his children. 13 yr old boy and 10 yr old girl. my step-daughter always called me mom and lived with us until she graduated. my step-son called me by my first name and only lived with us for about 3 years. we had to send him to live with his grandparents because we had so much trouble with him and it was hurting the whole family-----i came to the marriage with a 2yr old and a 4 yr old and by the time my step-son moved we had another baby and were expecting twins very soon.



here we are, 17-18 years later, and my step-son has been through all kinds of messes, but is finally getting his life on track and getting married in october to a really nice gal-----and he calls me mom now. my step-daughter has somewhat disowned us. i will call occasionally and talk to her and she will talk to me, but she and her father hardly talk. i called her when my step-father died and she came to the funeral---i was impressed.



i remember one night when we got a call because my step-son was being taken to the emergency room with an infection. kevin and i went, so did my step-son's mother and her husband, plus his grandparents on his mother's side. finally, when the doc wanted to talk to the parents, he spoke to my husband and his ex-----and i'm thinking how i was the one with the least say in anything that was happening----but i was the one that was going to have to take care of seeing that all the behind the scene paperwork got done.

Rachel - posted on 07/16/2009

Whether you are married to your partner or not you both have a commited relationship that has been long term. You are mother to that child when he is with you and your partner. A lincsene isnt going to change how you love or treat him. Welcome ..it is nice to meet you.

Margaret - posted on 07/14/2009

oh it doesnt really matter if you are married or not......its near impossible for a step parent to 'legally' have any recognition as to relationship with a child.....

I know first hand and due to research into the law in relation to step parents....since I split from my ex I basically have to be thankful for any and all contact he happens to graciously allow and/or facilitate because legally I have no grounds to pursue visitation of any sort even though I helped raise her from the time she was 3 into her teens.

so whoever told you you deceived those here because your not 'married', smile sweetly dear while you politely tell them to stick their nose where the sun doesn't shine and wish them a day free of flatulence that they can best appreciate their own position.

Christine - posted on 07/10/2009

giving birth to a child only makes you a biological parent------a mother is the one who cares, makes the sacrifices and is there when they are needed. you are more than welcome in this group cause it sounds like you are just as much of a mom as the rest of us-----i'm not too concerned with the "legalities" and i doubt anyone else is, either.



in fact, my mother has just left the state----supposedly temporarily, but i have a feeling she isn't coming back. i am really struggling with this and was just thinking about calling an older woman that i used to go to church with and telling her that i needed to talk to a "mom". i hoping that all of my older neighbors are going to be willing to step in with emotional support as "moms" if i really need it now------and none of them are related to me.

Margaret - posted on 07/07/2009

I didnt feel deceived at all....IMO relationships are about how you feel how you live not about the paper work...

sheesh if we want to get technical I am still legally married to my ex and bruce and I must therefore just live in the same building :S

Anne - posted on 07/06/2009

Hi Kristy, I just reread your first post, because I thought you had said you were living with your partner. You did not say you were married. Are you legally a step-mom I do not know I am not a Lawyer. I know I am not the Administrator of this Community, but I do not have any issues with you being part of this site. Your Honesty is refreshing. It took courage to be that open and honest.