I'm nuts....I am I truely am absolutely and totally bonkers......

Margaret - posted on 07/14/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I had the fall was on crutches....a month later just as im getting off the crutches and still using a splint I kicked my husband out of our home for emptying all of our bank accounts including those of the children as well as more than $4000 going missing in the month before. his act of emptying the accounts amounted to cancelling christmas a month before christmas......literally so I kicked him out....

I still had trouble driving.....I had trouble just trying to do the groceries myself and I decided I was going to live on my own raising and supporting 3 kids :S im nuts.....I am I must be

then low and behold after being in a good receptionist job for 2 months and just starting to accumulate leave first fulltime job i ever had where I have a leave entitlement.....I quit to run off and build an internet cafe a project funded by a young property investor who had just made his fortune in architecture in Dubai.

I go along with it and I dont just physically build the cafe with my dad, I also run the building it is located in and i run the cafe from open til close single handed for all except one day of the week....when i have one waitress come in to help...AND I run the laundromat located in the building also....and THEN after just 4 months I get in someone to work the counter in the cafe....and continue running it all AND start studying fulltime at uni.......

I let their dad have shared care......he didnt bother half the time but it helped some....to their detriment it was only afterward I found out he was dumping them with his brother all the time he had them......and his brother was beating them....but it was something :S

then my back caved and I had to stop working and stop studying and I had to move interstate..I couldnt drive my own car......I had trouble walking and sitting and I was going to literally MOVE HOUSE from one side of the country to the other with 3 KIDS in tow no less......I shouldve been committed......but no I wanted to get my kids away from the uncle and to find doctors for me.....I actually waited and stayed until I had court orders that all 3 of my children could come with me interstate to where I knew I would be alone besides my fiance and infrequent visits from family over 3 hours or more away....even though for all that time waiting for court cases I couldnt find treatment.

then my fiance had an emotional crash and became violent due to medications he was put on by incompetent psychiatrists.....it was only after I ended up in a safe house with the girls we figured out it was bipolar.....

and then I went and brought a house with him after winding up homeless due to that episode and now im here with the girls in a house after hitting so rock bottom it isnt funny.....I should be a wreck....well I am physically my back is much worse for those stupid things I decided to do.....I probably would not have anywhere near the damage to my spine if I just stayed in my little receptionist job......:S for just over $400 a week.

I left to build a cafe which was a nightmare because the young guy from dubai was a fool who buried himself in debt well beyond what he could afford in order to do it just the interest payments alone couldnt be covered by what income was expected from these projects....and he hadnt paid the initial set up bills either so it was a constant struggle to keep it running he was paying his interest on his loan from the takings and leaving me nothing to run the cafe on....

im nuts im crazy I have to be absolutely bloody bonkers to have even done half of that....all of it was in pursuit of a house a home.....some bricks and mortar for my children.....and here we are in it a more gorgeous house than we couldve imagined and im only on a disability pension having crippled myself pursuing what we now have.....what little money I made doing ALL of that paid for us to cross the country there was nothing left literally.....we didnt even have money for meds when we got here and centerlink screwed up our payments too....the deposit for our home was literally GIVEN to us by our government to hold back the financial crisis just as the property market takes a nose dive and interest rates drop to their lowest in 50 years......after almost killing myself trying to get something....

it literally falls into my lap....


I love my partner....but it is really emotionally draining living with me particularly when my pain is bad I dont generally suffer depression im pretty good at keeping it at bay anxiety is my nemisis....and i am sure it isnt the best for his bipolar episodes....and yet here we are doing the plainly stupid trying to make something of what we have.....

yep im pretty sure if they really took a look at just how sane we are......we would probably be locked up and fed jello with a spoon.....

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3 Comments

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Margaret - posted on 07/14/2009

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lol jello is awesome

I was thinking this morning....I am not completely stuffed....physically that is...my health has not completely abandoned me lol.....my blood pressure without fail is always between 120-126 over 80........and with my history thats a miracle :D

so I reckon over all I got it pretty good ;)

Christine - posted on 07/14/2009

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you're gutsy, you're not afraid to take a challenge because you know that jello is really pretty good-----if worse came to worse!!!

Margaret - posted on 07/14/2009

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sorry shock at what the last 3 years has been hits me on occasion.....writing it does really help much because well I cant even believe it but its there its not behaving like a road block for the next few days as I wonder how the hell we pulled it off and why we do these stupid things.......

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