Straight but not narrow

Donna - posted on 06/03/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hi I'm new here, and though straight and married to a wonderful man I'm proud to say the state I live in has passed a law to make gay marriage legal beginning in September! I have SEVERAL gay and lesbian friends, as well as a gay cousin and I am SO happy they have the opportunity to officialize in front of witnesses and the LAW their eternal love. I hope to one day see it become a world wide view that love is love.. and that's all that matters!

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Pat - posted on 02/17/2010

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Traci,

My fiance and I greatly appreciate your family and their support. I was always brought up to never judge. Even though my mother has been one of the worst judgemental people in my life. I have been friends with many people through my, all kinds of people. The smart kids, the stoners, the outcasts, the wannabes, you name em, I've probably been friends with every kind of person. Personally I have the same attitude as you do, as I am not satisfied with the whole God says it is wrong concept. I believe if God truly felt this was wrong, then why in the heck would he allow us to feel the way we do. I believe he would stop us from those feelings if he felt they were wrong. I am not a religious person mind you, I am actually Wiccan.
As for the ex-husband, I am sure eventually he will get the hint and just move on with his life. Personally I think it is hard for him to accept the fact, that my fiance is no longer in love with him. some people just can't accept rejection. Personally if somebody abused me, I would reject them myself. My fiance and I will be doing a commitment ceremony this coming Summer. N no matter what her ex-husband tries to pull, it isn't going to change the way I feel about her. He has tried everything possible to make me walk away. Right down to personally contacting me through Facebook and trying to talk trash about my fiance. He's just a bonehead who needs to get a grip on reality and move on.

Traci - posted on 02/16/2010

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I am straight and have been married to my husband for almost 17 years. We have two wonderful daughters - Sam, 15, and Cassie 13-1/2. From the second the girls were born I literally told them to NEVER judge anyone for anything other than how a person treats them - period. The girls and I cannot even fathom why anyone would be bothered by someone being gay or a lesbian. They have grown up with a girl down the street who is gay, and to them she is just another person. My girls have no problem speaking up about their views on the subject, and anyone who knows me knows I am very vocal about my support for gay and lesbian rights. Frankly, I tend to piss some very narrow minded people off, because I can't seem to stop myself from asking what their problems are with someone being gay. But most of them piss me off, because the most common answer is the bible, from people who haven't been anywhere near a church in years, and years, and years, and don't follow anything else in it. Anyway, I could go on forever, because people's ignorance thoroughly infuriates me. FYI - My husband does not understand people's issues with gay and lesbians either.



Pat, I truly wish you and your fiance' the best and hope the crap that you are being put through with her ex, (he sounds like a tad bit of a control freak), gets straightened out very soon, and hopefully you won't have to wait too tremendously long before you can actually get married, as should be your right, because you deserve the same rights as anyone else. You are a person, plain and simple. Unfortunately, there are a lot of morons out there who don't agree. Good luck and keep us posted.

Pat - posted on 02/08/2010

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Sativa,
I completely agree with you as to the power balance in a family situation. My fiance still has issues with her ex-husband trying to control her life and her actions. Which in my eyes, makes me even more determined to show him that there is nothing wrong with the relationship we have. The boys love us both, and unfortunetly because of all the issues their father causes. They are beginning more and more to dislike him. We keep telling them, no matter what, he will always be their father. But that doesn't change his actions and the effects his actions have on the boys. They tell me their mom has never been happier. They say they have never been happier. That is all I worry about. As long as they are all happy, then so am I. I love the boys as if they were my own and the way I look at things. It is more and more of a loving environment for them. Because even though I do have my temper, I would never raise a hand in anger towards them or their mom. Their father on the other hand, is presently on probation for domestic violence. In my eyes having two female parents, shows more love and respect. I'm not sure, that is just my opinion.

Sativa - posted on 02/07/2010

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I would be proud to stand up for any family wanting to see equality for everyone. I was raised with lots of close friends that happened to hold hands with the same sex and I loved them all as they were part of my extended family. I am married to a great man, but that is my choice and preference. Who am I and for that matter who is anybody to say that what they prefer is the right thing for everybody? The only exception to that thought is when there is a huge power difference in the relationship. Such as with a child or other weaker victim. Then yes, it is not only our right but also our duty to stand up and impose the "right" way on the aggressor. In an adult relationship it doesnt matter the genders of the parties. They are equally powerful and have chosen to be where they are happy. No victim = No interference! Anybody agree?

Pat - posted on 02/06/2010

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Gabrielle,

I very much appreciate you and your husband's outlook on gay marriage. My fiance and I have two boys ages 9 and 13. Unfortunetly their father is not so understanding of the situation. He has thrown everything he can at us, including trying to say that a lesbian relationship is against the law. Well luckily for me, I am attending college for Criminal Justice. So I am a little more on the ball with laws and regulations. In fact there once was a law such as this in the state of Texas (which is where we live). But back in 1993 I believe it was, the law was overturned. Because it was seen as against the amendments. In either case, we are very happy and would very much enjoy actually being legally married. But for the time being a commitment ceremony will do just fine. If the law ever changes, you can bet, we will be making it official. Thanks greatly for your suppoet on this issue. It is nice to see more and more open minded people in this world. Seems like a dying breed sometimes, what a shame what the world has turned into. Again, thanks to you and your husband for your support.

Gabrielle - posted on 02/05/2010

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Pat, I'm another straight supporter of gay rights. My husband and I were married by a lesbian friend of ours, and my best man was my gay best friend of more than 10 years. We are raising our daughter to understand that there are all kinds of families out there and some have two moms or two dads in them. When they aired those horrible Prop 8 commercials here in CA, and there was one with a little girl saying that she was the reason to vote against gay marriage, my husband was furious. He told me firmly that his little girl was the reason he was voting FOR gay marriage. And I hope that your commitment ceremony is only a precusor to the legal marriage you and your fiance may someday (soon!) enjoy.

Pat - posted on 02/01/2010

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Donna and Elizabeth,

I am a 37 year old lesbian and I would very much like to thank you both. I was married for 8 years to a wonderful guy. We were together for 10 years total. I have no children with him, which I believe in some respects is a good thing. But the point is, I found myself to be happier as a lesbian. My partner and I have been engaged for almost a year now. But we live in a state that does not allow gay marriage. So unless things change, we will only be doing a commitment ceremony. But the point is, reading your posts helped me to realize, that there are still some human beings left in this world. I thank you for being so open minded, it is a refreshing attitude towards much of society these days.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/20/2010

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Hello!



I am also a straight Mom with a wonderful husband, but have gay and lesbian friends and believe in fair and equal treatment of all human beings, regardless of race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation.



I have 6 children, three are teens and the youngest is 9 months. I constantly reinforce that everyone has a right to make their own life choices and to be happy. I would be just as happy if my children were gay or lesbian or straight, makes no difference to me as long as they are happy and their partner is a good and decent human being that truly loves my child.



I am 100% behind equal rights. We can change the world by raising accepting and loving children! They are the future for all of us, after all... :-)

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