Sarah - posted on 01/09/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )
My husbands mother is slowly showing more signs of senility. She has been alone for almost three years since her husband died and she has never taken charge of her life. We live close and have always visited regularly and been a part of her life. So when my father-in-law became ill and was hopitalized my husband and I stepped in and started helping her keep things going. Once he died we continued and got deeper involved with her care, traking doctors, bills and finacials. I am not new to this I had grandmothers until I was in my thirties. My issues are that my husband never makes her do anything for herself if she doesn't want to, including finding the lost TV remote. And my husband has a brother and sister-in-law that have not stepped up once to help. We have asked them to do things and his brother says no he can't handle it. Now to add to the mix we have two children and the brother has none. His mom has never really taken care of herself and I can accept that. But when she calls upset about a lost remote and my husband drives over to her place only to find that she has found it(of course) this bothers me. And when his brother goes to see her almost every week and does nothing and I'm not allowed to ask him to, that bothers me alot. At the begining we wre taking time off from work to take her to see his dad and getting her to doctors appointment and the brothers wife said they couldn't do these things because they had jobs, Well what does she think we had? So I guess what I'm looking for is support and a sounding board for my frustrations. I try not to let my husband know how bothered I am as he has plenty on his plate all ready. My kids have been great and very understanding about all of this, they try to help when they can and they never openly complain. They are good kids. Am I wrong to have developed a real dislike for his brother and his wife?
A side note: my husband and his brother have never had a relationship, not even as little kids.