What to say to ignorant mamas?

Jessi - posted on 12/25/2011

Nice to know I'm not the only one!
When doing groceries, I am treated like a criminal. There is one store inparticular that has someone follow me from start to finish - even though I have never stolen anyone, always pay and am incredibly nice to the staff. It's sad... Why they should look at me like that, when I am a nice person - and like many of the others here - I own my own business and probably make more money than they do themselves.
Another one I notice, is that when we travel - I am always targeted for drugs and explosive tests. *raises eyebrow*... I am about as anti-drugs as they get!

Lea - posted on 09/17/2011

I am heavily tattooed and get that on a daily basis, i used to get extremely irritated and a bit angry but now iv'e grown to just ignore it and if they choose not to associate with me anymore then that's there loss.

Ashley - posted on 08/28/2011

My situation is different, My tattoos are usually covered most of the time but I have pink hair. So I get the looks right from the start. I personally don`t care. I see it as, I`m happy & their ignorance is not my problem nor will it ruin my day.

Nichelle - posted on 06/21/2011

i am covered in tats as well and have 3 kids now... i use to work at a gym daycare that had a lot of really snobby rich people.. i am a very friendly, goofy, outgoing kind of person and their kids loved me so when ever they wanted me to babysit or nanny for them i would show up in regular clothes and of course they would be a little surprised and kinda stand offish but once they got back and questioned they kids about how i was they got over it pretty quik and had me always come back... i had a few families that refused to allow anyone else to babysit... and in the cases where people were just rude and refused to get to know me because of my tattoos i would pretty much just kill them with kindness... i would be overly friendly so they looked like a complete ass when they gave me attitude infront of people... seemed to have worked ! ...remember that is they cant accept you because your tats then they are just worthless pieces of dog crap!

Hayley - posted on 06/18/2011

I'd have to do stuff on purpose just to wind them up even more. If they're gonna act like tw*#s over tattoos then how do they react over things that really are a problem.....Drama Queens the lot of them. Woman like that aren't happy unless they've got something to whine and bitch about.*cluck cluck cluck* lol!

Angel - posted on 10/13/2010

thank god!!!! ladies who understand what i go through :-)

Emily - posted on 09/28/2010

this hasnt happend to me yet. but my tattoo is small an covered by bracelets on my wrist. but i do plan on geting bigger peices on other parts of my body an a add-on to the one i already have. but if it was me i would be loud and probably all up in their face asking them why they cant stop stareing.

Jamie - posted on 09/16/2010

Jeanne,
What people don't realize is tattoo's are quite expensive for the good ones. You can get bad ones for cheap but if you have really nice big pieces they do cost. Not everyone can afford them.

Jamie - posted on 09/16/2010

I got my first tattoo now 3 years ago. I have a 11 year old and a 10 year old and am pregnant and 4 weeks 4 days away from delivery. I went from no tattoo’s to 13 in no time. I got hooked. My husband is covered in them. Literally covered. The only comments I remember getting is that mine are pretty and colorful. My husband on the other hand has a lot more gorry stuff. He has a lot of zombies and stuff. But his most commented on tattoo’s is his feet. He has two birdy fingers on his feet. People’s reactions range from amusement, amazement, disgust, to admiration. Just depends on the person really. My kids love our tattoo’s. They think they are cool. My kids even wanted airbrush tattoo machines for x-mas. We found some toy ones for them and they played with them for a while till they ran out of markers. My mother who is very conservative even got a tattoo in her 50’s and loved it so much she has gotten another one. I think we need to remember people judge each other. You had the balls to get the tattoo now have the balls to ignore the ones that are judgemental and negative. I say F**k them. I also have piercings and sometimes colorful hair. I know I am a good mom and just because I choose to express myself through tattoo’s, piercings, and hair color does not make me a bad mother.

Jamie - posted on 09/16/2010

I got my first tattoo now 3 years ago. I have a 11 year old and a 10 year old and am pregnant and 4 weeks 4 days away from delivery. I went from no tattoo’s to 13 in no time. I got hooked. My husband is covered in them. Literally covered. The only comments I remember getting is that mine are pretty and colorful. My husband on the other hand has a lot more gorry stuff. He has a lot of zombies and stuff. But his most commented on tattoo’s is his feet. He has two birdy fingers on his feet. People’s reactions range from amusement, amazement, disgust, to admiration. Just depends on the person really. My kids love our tattoo’s. They think they are cool. My kids even wanted airbrush tattoo machines for x-mas. We found some toy ones for them and they played with them for a while till they ran out of markers. My mother who is very conservative even got a tattoo in her 50’s and loved it so much she has gotten another one. I think we need to remember people judge each other. You had the balls to get the tattoo now have the balls to ignore the ones that are judgemental and negative. I say F**k them. I also have piercings and sometimes colorful hair. I know I am a good mom and just because I choose to express myself through tattoo’s, piercings, and hair color does not make me a bad mother.

Carol - posted on 07/31/2010

Just gotta laugh at them, ladies :) I snicker at them all the time....if they point and glare, just smile and laugh. It takes someone so ignorant and self important to judge someone else on their skin that I'm just happy I don't have to live in their heads. Also, you had to know that you would be treated like this in some circles when you got the tat, so chin up! You made the choice, live with it proudly.

Leah - posted on 07/30/2010

This is too funny, I feel like I'm reading something I wrote myself with most of your posts. I have a sleeve, back piece, etc. and I'll admit I feel insecure sometimes when I'm around snobby well to-do people who have no tattoos. People are so mean and judgemental! To make matters worse, my boss is soooo "perfect" and stuck up and makes me cover my tattoos at work. My 4 co-workers are all middle aged menopausal "perfect" women who think tattoos are trashy. Ahhh!!!!!! The frustration! It sucks!

Kori - posted on 07/27/2010

I think all of us with tattoos (especially really visible ones like my sleeve) have gone though this. Thankfully I live in Orange County CA and its not so 'taboo' if you will. When I do get those lame stares and comments I just shake my head and laugh. Those people are so judgmental and ridiculous. Don't even waste your time caring about it. It's not worth it. I went though a period when I would start foaming at the mouth and I couldn't keep my trap shut. Now I just laugh and think F it! The only peoples opinions that matter are my kids and myself! And my son LIKES my tattoos! ALL OF THEM!!!!

Bianca - posted on 07/24/2010

I used to take my daughter to a play group where a few of the mums started getting funny about my extreme amount of tattoos. I over heard one woman say that the child would probably be tattooed and down the same road as her mum...so i went out and bout those stick on tattoos (cute flowery ones) and put them on my daughter (who LOVED them) and took her to the group. Was amusing to say the least.

Britny - posted on 07/23/2010

I'm usually pretty sarcastic to people who act like that. I'll say something like"like what you see?" or if they stare when we're already talking, I'll bring up the tatts and see if they get snobby about it. It's best to ignore it anyways though.

Brittany - posted on 05/18/2010

Unfortunately, I think we have all been there. I have alot of tattoos and most people look at me like I'm a piece of crap when I'm out with my kids... I tend to steer clear of those kinds of ppl but if I do come into contact with the staring and leering looks I simply smile and say "Can I help you?" or something like "Oh! You like my tattoos?! Aren't they great?? Thinking of getting my baby one"... and just laugh and walk away...its great.

Laura - posted on 05/14/2010

I kill them with kindness, pretend I don't see them staring and try to break the stereotype of what society thinks of heavily tattooed women. It's unfortunate we have to try harder to prove ourselves as respectable hard-working mommas but we're slowly becoming more of a "norm" in urban areas.

Amanda - posted on 05/04/2010

i get looks from other moms all the time. i'm 21 and i have a 14 month old which in my neighborhood is looked down upon but add in the fact i have tattoos and i have a nose ring and my daughter wears shirts with funny sayings and converse sneakers its like we are comitting a crime or something..

Michelle - posted on 04/20/2010

I don't seem to have to much trouble. As I am pretty covered with both legs and almost full sleves as well as chest pieces. My mom notices peoples looks more than I do. I just never let me bother me. I have always been a part of the classroom with my son and none of the other teachers staff members or other parents ever treated me any different. I truly think that it is how you carry yourself. I forget that I have tattoos. This is my lifestyle I married into the industry. You would be surprised how many people you would least except that have tattoos. My son carry's my husbands business cards with him to school and has given them to his teachers when they asked. My advice is don't let it bother you. Don't wait for them to talk to you, you go talk to them!!!

Sara - posted on 04/18/2010

That's happened to me and I just figure that if they don't want to talk with me than it's their loss. I know it sounds corny, but I'm not losing out on anything by not talking to them. I'd rather not have people in my life that don't respect and like me. So, no loss for us! :)

Kharli - posted on 04/16/2010

I am saddened by the fact that strong, independent, kick-ass, women get judged SO OFTEN on our unconventional beauty.
But I have to say that I am relieved that I am not alone in experiencing this ridiculous behaviour.
When I read these posts, it was like I had posted them myself! The stories are so similar to my experiences as a tatted mum.
I'm in the process of getting full sleeves, so that is not easy to hide (not that I should have to)!
I say rock on, sisters! We are teaching our children about tolerance, individuality, respect and (most importantly) creative self-expression (not to mention awareness/ownership of your being/body)!
Any woman that judges us, on our fearless choices, deserves a kick in the box! Alas, we are better than that. LOL
So, we'll just ignore the ignorant and continue to be amazing, out-of-this-world, Mommas.

ps: They're probably jealous that we have the guts to be different from them!

Nichelle - posted on 04/13/2010

i actually use to work in a daycare where only the high upper class would take their kids... i got a long with alot of parents and would schedule playdates with them... now when i was at work i would wear under armor because of the tattoos i have (on my chest a skull and cross bones) so they never ever saw them until i was dressed normal.. i did get a weird looks but i have been able to become close friends with people before they see my tattoos so when they do see them they dont freak out... the only times i do have issues is around people i dont know but once i start talking to them they tend to see past it. i am very outgoing and down to earth.. i try to really get to know people and understand their problems... i get more respect out of the parents when their children ask about my tattoos and i tell them it was the worse pain ever(even though its not) so they know im not trying to discourage or encourage anything

Sarah - posted on 04/05/2010

I have never had any mother say anything to me directly, but I usually get quite a few negative stares for several reasons; I have a multi-colored mohawk, I have about 13 hours of work (though most is on my torso so they are covered usually), and I have facial piercings. I'm also considered a young mother for our area, though I had my first child at 26. Anyone who would judge another mother and say that they are so sorry that a child would have to grow up in an environment like that (with tatoooed parents), well I feel sorry for THEIR kids. God forbid you child want to express their personality and individuality when the grow up! My tattoos are cultural and religious tattoos. What's wrong with expressing your culture and religion! Those are the types of parents who will disown or call their child an embarrassment when or if the child chooses to express themselves through body art, clothing, hair style, make-up etc. When I encounter parents like that, they are usually really up-tight women who seem very unhappy and uncomfortable with themselves. Maybe if they'd express their own individuality, they'd be less judgmental, more confident, and happier. Those women are just jealous that they don't have the guts to try being an individual. I have to say though, that I live in a very liberal, diverse, accepting city and I get far more compliments than I do negative stares. I always get called "the cool mom". If I were confronted about my tattoos or over heard someone say something, I would confront them and ask them if they had any tattoos at all. Chance are they do, and I'm sorry but 1 tattoo is the same as my 13 hours in my opinion. If your tattooed, your tattooed. And if they don't have any, chances are that they wanted to at some point int heir life or they have a piercing or a rockin' piece of clothing they break out for special occasions. I would talk to them about tattoos, try to clear up any stereotypes they have, and suggest my artist to them;)

Jeanne - posted on 04/04/2010

Hi there, I am an older mother (I am 40 and my hubby is 50) of two young children, aged 5 and 2 respectively and yes I have had people ignore me when they see my tatts (I have them on my arms and legs and I am soon getting some on my wrists). I told one woman at a Wal-Mart (there was must be an ignorance quota at that chain store) who was openly discussing my tattoos (I had shorts and a tank top on so she could see 6 of 8) and telling her friend that me and my hubby (who has full sleeves and long hair - two strikes...lol) should never have been allowed to keep our kids and what kind of life were we exposing them to....etc...etc...etc...I admit I lost it. I went up to her and said: "Excuse me I heard you discussing me with your friend here - if you have anything to say I would appreciate your telling me to my face please. If you haven't already noticed we are older parents so these kids were wanted and planned for - I wasn't knocked up in the back seat of a car after my High School prom. For your information my husband and I own our own business, we probably make more money than you do, my husband is a European trained master carpenter and I have a college degree. What exactly are we exposing our children to???? Good food...a nice home...and the ability to pay for their colleged education??? You are right....we are bad...bad...people!". Her friend apologized a little shame facedly and all she could do was turn red and look down. Needless to say that was the end of her talking about me....well at least while I was in earshot. Do I always stand up for myself when people look at me funny with my tattoos - I will be honest it depends on my mood and what is being said...but if it is withing earshot of my children darned straight I will speak my mind. Tattoos aren't for everybody and I know that but just because I have them does not make me a bad parent and that is the message I try and get across to people.

Amanda - posted on 03/25/2010

i cant even take my daughter to the park without getting talked about or glared at.

Cynthia - posted on 03/06/2010

Ok so I am actually very heavily tattooed as opposed to just having a few that can be hidden. See I work in the tattoo industry and have for more then 8 years now, so you can imagine what I mean by heavily covered. Before I was even a mom I faced the situations all the time because I was a female with lots of tattoos. See ladies I used to feel the same way as you and get very pissed off at the ignorance of non tattooed people. Its uncommon to see women as covered as me and although now its getting better its still a shock to see. Now that I have a 7 week old baby its gotten even tougher.
See here's the thing you have to remember though, we decided along the way to adorn ourselves with art in the form of permenent tattoos. It was a choice WE made! With that being said the reality of the situation is that we can not expect to not get notticed for it. It draws a certain amount of attention and sometimes its negative. This is the choice we made. Honestly in my twenties I would be very mouthy about the stares I received but now in my thirties I've learned it takes a lot more energy to be angry everytime this happens. I now just ignore it. If these people don't want to take the time to get to know me and see the person I am then honestly its their loss....not mine. Id rather not surround myself with people that are that close minded. Good luck ladies and I hope you find the best way for you to handle all of this. I hope this helps even if its just a little.

Amanda - posted on 01/25/2010

I have had the same thing happen to me while picking up my son from school.The moms were all nice and friendly asked about my baby.Asked about my son.Then one day when I was in a hurry to get my son I threw on a sun dress and quickly went to get him.I noticed the looks but then they started talking about me like I wasn't there.They were saying how inappropriate it was to have all my tattoos showing(I didn't have all of them showing,and none of my tattoos are vulgar).I was upset I had wanted to turn around and tell them something but I didn't why go to their level of immaturity.I said nothing got my son and went home.My son noticed I was upset though and he asked me what happened I told him about it and he said don't listen to those barnyard animals you are a great mom.So I realized it doesn't matter how other moms see me just how my kids do.I am a proud tattooed mommy.

Sarah - posted on 01/01/2010

I am a mother, a wife, and a waitress. I happen to have pink and orange hair, am heavily tattooed, and pierced in more than just my ears. I know it's kind of corny, but one of the reasons I really enjoy being a waitress is specifically because I look so different from everyone else. I like to challenge the way people look at me or the way they look at people who might resemble me. I'm a great waitress; I'm very friendly, I have a great memory and I get on very well with my co-workers and 90% of the people I wait on. If someone gives me a weird look or makes a pointed comment I catch out of the corner of my ear, I just smile bigger, say thank you and please more often and do everything I can to show them that just because I might look different doesn't mean I'm stupid, rude, uneducated, or a bad person in general.

If that doesn't work and they say something rude to me or make a remark I find offensive then I might say something directly to them but I guarantee it wouldn't start with anything like, "How dare you" or end with anything resembling "...and therefore I am better than you."

Be humble, be polite, be everything you want them to be at you.

Jody - posted on 12/29/2009

If they are not going to talk to you because of your tats, then that is their loss. I have had that issue and politely told them that SURPRISE! I am actually working on my Masters degree in psychology. Sucks to be them. People can be so ignorant.

Victoria - posted on 12/10/2009

I just laugh. Who wants to be friends with such shallow and ignorant people anyways.

Melanie - posted on 12/08/2009

unfortuantely people rarely look past the tattoos. When i was pregnant on my son we changed hospitals due to the need of a good neo-natal unit. When i was on the ward ready to give birth a nurse asked me to cover up my tattoos as a woman's husband found them offensive (he was muslim). So i told the nurse no i wasn't going to cover up i was heavily pregnant and hot and didn't care what the woman's husband thought that maybe he shouldn't look at me so much. I've always been direct as it annoys me that people are nice until they see tattoos or piercings. People need to get past that esp in this day & age. It doesn't help that my daughter loves mummy's tattoos (wants some when she's older). xx

Kimberly - posted on 12/06/2009

I usually just laugh. Tatts don't make you less of a mother...that's just stupid to think it would. I just find it funny because I know a set of parents in particula=41\=98yhgvc n on me because of my tattoos and they're HORRIBLE parents but they think because they "look" the part that means something. Ridiculous. I just avoid them as much as possible because these particular hypocrites I have to deal with :-(

Vickianne - posted on 12/04/2009

I to got the cold shoulder when I went to a local MOPS meeting. I have 5 good size tatt's, which they couldn't even see. The No-Class women find it necessary to judge people of looks not ethics. I myself will purposely walk up to them after the turn and walk away from me with that look. " hi, My name is" and make them shake my hand. They look so scared, like I am going to bite them,. I am a stay at home mom and I homeschool my kids. I have a husband who I adore and have been married to him for 10 years. He is a Manager of Large Format for Pepsi here. Their loss, I know I am a good person, Just as the rest of you are. We jsut can appriciate Art a whole lot more.

Amanda - posted on 11/04/2009

Am I finally home?! So great to meet to other women I can relate to! I joined MOPS when my oldest was around 1 year. At the time, I only had 1 tat. I'm a very laid back, kinda quiet person and I don't necessarily look like a typical "minivan" mom. I hate minivans though I have to drive one. Anyway, at MOPS, no one would speak to me after they asked about my personality and what not. I told them I love rock, alternative music. We have a drum set in our house. And that my grandmother was so important to me that after she died I had a tigerlily tattooed on my back.

Chloe - posted on 10/09/2009

I am 20 years old. Two young boy. (ages 2 and 1) I have 2 tattos so far. Planing a semi big back piece and i'm not sure if its the tatts or my age but i get the same reception you all get.

My tatts are rather small on both my wrist. I have been knocked back for jobs because of them, they can be covered, but why should i they are a part of me.

Chin up ladies, they are just jelous that they dont have the balls to do what we have

Michelle - posted on 10/06/2009

I only have one tattoo (at the moment lol) but you can't even see it most of the time because it's on my left shoulder blade but I, too, run into snobbish moms just because I'm in my 30's, I'm not what you would call the "minivan" mom lol. I don't go out and party or anything but I tend to have my own style and I don't "look" like them so I guess it's easier for them to turn their nose up at me instead. I've always been one to not care if someone likes me or not. I'm not into being around fake people or having to pretend to be something I'm not. :)

Carmella Adell - posted on 09/05/2009

I would persistently initiate small talk with them. Asking questions about their day, they're relationships, etc. Of course that's only if I really gave a crap what they thought or wanted to make friends with them. If not I'd just keep a smile on my face, enjoy my children, answer questions politely and let it go.

Jeanne - posted on 08/17/2009

It has happened to me, quite a few times actually. I've actually had people at Wal-Mart compliment me on how cute my kids are and then they'll catch a glimpse of one of my tattoos peaking out at the bottom of a t-shirt sleeve or glance down and see the one on my ankle, walk away and then start talking about how sad it is for the kids to have to live in such an environment?!? Just because both me and my hubby (he has sleeves on both arms) and I are tattooed does NOT make us bad people. My children are well fed, always clean, well mannered, smart, healthy and precocious so I must be doing something right!!! That woman peeved me off so badly that I went after her and said: "Excuse me? Who are you to judge me? Both me and my husband DO NOT drink or do drugs, we live in a nice newer home in nice safe subdivision, both work and pay our taxes and probably bring in more of an income in one year than you do in three. Just because we like tattoos does not make us rejects or criminals." She was so shocked that she just walked right past me and left the Wal-Mart. I know tattoos are more socially acceptable than they once were, but I think some people still see them as a sign of a lower class of people. So I say if they want to see me as lower class, your ewlcome to it because I would rather be low class than have no class.

Lane - posted on 08/04/2009

Oh very cool. Thank you! I just want to say something so badly to them GGRR! Now I just smile as big as I can when I see them and say HI! ;p I just wouldn't even know what to say, but What is your dang prob chicks?! Ya know? *SIGH*

Sally - posted on 08/04/2009

I haven't said anything to them yet. We were just taking part of a week long dance camp and the full dance class starts in a month. I'm waiting to see if their attitude changes or stays the same. I'm still unsure if it was just the tats that changed their attitude or if it's because I'm the new kid in town and they are very cliquey people.



I'm a Pre-K teacher, and I've never had an issue at work or anything. Most of my student's families like my tattoos - I think it makes them think that I'M not going to judge them based on ink.

Lane - posted on 08/04/2009

That is what I have been going through here lately. However my question is this, did you say anything to them, and if so then what?

Sally - posted on 08/04/2009

This has totally happened to me! I live in a snobbish upperclass suburb. I recently enrolled my step daughter in dance. The first two days it was a little chilly during drop off and I was wearing longer pants (which covers my two tattoos on my foot and ankle). My tat on my wrist wasn't covered, but it's small and often goes unnoticed. The first two days I had several moms making small talk. A couple asked if I was new in town and new to the dance program, etc.



The third day, I was wearing capris and no body talked with me. Not even the woman that had talked to me both days! WTF?? I saw a couple of them looking at my foot/ankle and I seriously saw two of them pointing at it. And not in the complementary way that I get sometimes. (The rose on my ankle looks like it is painted on, the quality is amazing and I often get compliments)



I don't know if it was soley the tattoes or because I am a lot younger than most of them or what. I never try to hide my tats, but I've never had this kind of interaction before!