Back to work blues!

Bonnie - posted on 09/08/2009

It seems so long ago when I experienced the same thing. Take one day at a time and remember that it is not quantity time but quality time that matters. Try to do as much preparation as you can while your baby is sleeping (prepare the diaper bag for the next day, put out the clothes you both will be wearing, try to make some casseroles that you can freeze,etc...) My children are all grown now. My two boys are teachers and my daughter is a doctor. They will learn from your example. I promise you that one day when the the nest is empty you will look back wishing it had not gone by so fast. Praise God for grandchildren. Treasure each moment....

Sarah - posted on 09/07/2009

I feel like you just wrote about me. The only difference is that I have 1st graders. It is really hard. I'm just taking my "down time" in the car and after I put my baby to sleep. On the weekends I try to make the most of my time with him. I know it's sad, but we can do it! I'm already dreading going in to work tomorrow after a 3-day weekend, but it's only 4 days until the next one. =)

Mindy - posted on 09/05/2009

After my maternity leave was over with my middle son (he is now 2 1/2) I cried everyday on my way to work (a 40 minute drive) for the last 3 months of the year. I looked forward to days off - Spring break, president's day, etc. I too pumped 3 times a day which definitely made my prep time minimal and I was constantly busy. I definitely missed that time chatting with colleagues but I figured as much as I liked them, I liked my baby more.

The next year, I tried to transition to be a Title 1 teacher -- it was a parttime position and my husband had the insurance so that didnt matter. They got paid hourly at a very high rate so we could make that work financially.

I am so very fortunate to now be able to work from home, as I teach at a virtual school. I now have another baby and am so happy to be here with her and her brothers.

I know it doesn't seem I'm not terribly helpful to your original question and maybe I am a bit rambling but what I am trying to say is at least you can look forward to many days off, and perhaps there are some alternatives you are overlooking.

As a final thought: did you ever really feel satisfied wtih the amount of time you spent on your teaching? We always think we should be doing more or if only we spent more time doing this then that would happen...

You students are being positively impacted by you, even if you don't get those copies made and pump instead :-) even if they don't get the extra afterschool small group sessions!

Regarding dinner: the crock pot is you friend. Use it, have dinner waiting for you when u get home.

Laura Brody - posted on 09/05/2009

I'm worried about the same kinds of things. Our school year hasn't started yet but just the "getting ready" stuff is overwhelming. I'm scared of having so little time with my boy after being home with him on leave all this time. I know I am extremely lucky to have had such a long leave (he is 10 months old now) but I still stress over the back to work stuff.

Mama Di (54 Years Old Human Growth Dev - posted on 09/03/2009

You can also hire a teen to do some of the simple chores that take time, but not a whole lot of perfection.

Mama Di (54 Years Old Human Growth Dev - posted on 09/03/2009

Oh Baby Girl, going back to work after your baby is just so hard. I had 5 months off with my oldest. My hardest day came when the sitter said, "She didn't take a nap this afternoon so she should sleep all night!" My sitter lived next door. I took Jessica home, sat in the rocker and nursed her and she fell sound asleep. I rocked that baby and cried. Tears filled her little beautiful shell ear.



That weekend, I carried her in her baby sling all weekend. Did chores,etc. and cried. This went on for about 6 weeks. Finally, one Sunday night, my husband said, "Look Di, this isn't working! Who do I call to tell them theat you quit? We can tighten our belts and make it work."



Well, I couldn't call and just quit! I needed to give notice! Who would ever hire me?Well, you know what? I never did give notice. However, I did learn to do what men do. I learned to compartmentalize. When I am at work, I am fully at work. When I drive home, I listen to music that I enjoy and block out everything. When I get home, I devote the time that I am home to my babies. When my husband comes home, I run up to the bedroom, let him have 10 minutes with the babies while I lay on the bed and read for 10 minutes. Then, I go back downstairs, and fix the meal, maybe with a baby on the "bouncy chair" on the counter as I tell her in a singsong voice, what I am doing, the veggies, that I am preparing, etc.



That was 21 years ago. I still go into work thinking, "If I don't like this, I can quit" Sometimes I have been the only paycheck. Other things to do Darling Girl, is on weekends, make BIG batches of Food, put it into "two of you" containers to freeze, for easy microwaving.



But here is the most important thing of all!!!! Pay attention and repeat as a mantra daily!

(This is if you have a husband. If you don't skip the first part!)



"Dear God, I am but one person. Please make me the best Wife, the best Mother and the best teacher that I can be. Please let me be mindful of the fact that being the best wife and mother are the most important jobs that I have. I love my students, but I am not their parent!" During our 40 seconds of "quiet reflection" I offer this up. Everyday. My ladies (my babies) are now 22 and 20. I have a strong, healthy marriage. I have strong, healthy daughters who want to emulate my marriage and my family skills (so they tell me).



If you have read this and want to learn techniques for streamling the marking, etc. I will be glad to respond.



But, know this, understand this, it is really, really tough. I do have to admire your pumping during your break. I did the Soy milk during the day and the breast milk in the am., 2-3 times pm. and weekends. I needed the comfort and collegiality of my colleagues. Tammy I will pray for you.

Tammy Cara - posted on 09/03/2009

Thank you so much .It makes the world of difference to know that I'm not alone! We woke up a bit earlier this morning and had some girl time which was great!

Angela - posted on 09/02/2009

I don't have the answers for you, but I wanted to let you know I am in the exact same place! I just returned to work three weeks ago and my daughter is 3 months old now. I leave her at the sitter's house at 7:30, go to work, pump during my prep and lunch breaks in my classroom, and pick her up around 3 each day. I also feel like I am not 100% at being a mom nor a teacher. You aren't alone. I am starting to adjust now and it's getting easier. I have to tell myself that it is what it is. We can't afford for me to be home, so I need to cherish the time I am with her. It takes effort to be positive and focused on her when I get home, but we both deserve it. To be honest, I leave my work at work even if that means it piles on my desk more than before. She is more important and growing so fast. We will never get these days back...her cooing, smiling and finding her hands for the first time. The tests on my desk (I teach high school math) can wait an extra couple of days. I tell myself to be in the moment. Give to my students when I am with them and be all about my daughter when I am with her. The laundry, dishes, cooking and so on is left for my husband or it sits until she is napping or in bed.



My best advice is realize you aren't the only one and you aren't super woman. You can only do so much so lower your expectations for yourself and put whatever is most important to as priority number one. I hope this helps. If you want someone to vent to that is going through the same thing...just contact me. Take care and go love your baby!

Angela - posted on 09/02/2009

I don't have the answers for you, but I wanted to let you know I am in the exact same place! I just returned to work three weeks ago and my daughter is 3 months old now. I leave her at the sitter's house at 7:30, go to work, pump during my prep and lunch breaks in my classroom, and pick her up around 3 each day. I also feel like I am not 100% at being a mom nor a teacher. You aren't alone. I am starting to adjust now and it's getting easier. I have to tell myself that it is what it is. We can't afford for me to be home, so I need to cherish the time I am with her. It takes effort to be positive and focused on her when I get home, but we both deserve it. To be honest, I leave my work at work even if that means it piles on my desk more than before. She is more important and growing so fast. We will never get these days back...her cooing, smiling and finding her hands for the first time. The tests on my desk (I teach high school math) can wait an extra couple of days. I tell myself to be in the moment. Give to my students when I am with them and be all about my daughter when I am with her. The laundry, dishes, cooking and so on is left for my husband or it sits until she is napping or in bed.



My best advice is realize you aren't the only one and you aren't super woman. You can only do so much so lower your expectations for yourself and put whatever is most important to as priority number one. I hope this helps. If you want someone to vent to that is going through the same thing...just contact me. Take care and go love your baby!

Angela - posted on 09/02/2009

I don't have the answers for you, but I wanted to let you know I am in the exact same place! I just returned to work three weeks ago and my daughter is 3 months old now. I leave her at the sitter's house at 7:30, go to work, pump during my prep and lunch breaks in my classroom, and pick her up around 3 each day. I also feel like I am not 100% at being a mom nor a teacher. You aren't alone. I am starting to adjust now and it's getting easier. I have to tell myself that it is what it is. We can't afford for me to be home, so I need to cherish the time I am with her. It takes effort to be positive and focused on her when I get home, but we both deserve it. To be honest, I leave my work at work even if that means it piles on my desk more than before. She is more important and growing so fast. We will never get these days back...her cooing, smiling and finding her hands for the first time. The tests on my desk (I teach high school math) can wait an extra couple of days. I tell myself to be in the moment. Give to my students when I am with them and be all about my daughter when I am with her. The laundry, dishes, cooking and so on is left for my husband or it sits until she is napping or in bed.



My best advice is realize you aren't the only one and you aren't super woman. You can only do so much so lower your expectations for yourself and put whatever is most important to as priority number one. I hope this helps. If you want someone to vent to that is going through the same thing...just contact me. Take care and go love your baby!