Balancing the teacher perspective and the parent perspective

Jennifer - posted on 12/19/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

hello, I am a single mom that is going to school to finish my degree. Right now its more that I am frustrated as a mom that I find the teachers are extremely over worked and stressed and the classroom sizes are too big and there is no possible way that one teacher and having to share one aide between 3 teachers is beneficial to anyone. Then I come in as a parent. I offer my time to volunteer and my son is at the top of his class, but now I see that those that are succeeding are being held back and those that are behind are not getting the one-on- one aide that they need. Then my child is being bullied at school and the teacher is unwilling to really deal with the real issue. She marked my son for crying and I, really caring about my child (yes, not all single mom's are lazy.. we really can care and want to the best too..) I asked her to tell me the specific situation. She would not give me a straight answer. I asked what the incident involved and she said that sometimes boys play rough and my son does not. So I asked: how does this go on my childs record permanently then as a behavior? (yeah they give kindergartners a permanent record) .. she said that he lacked control. My son now hides under a picnic table during recess to avoid this boy whom I come to find out his father is a prominent athletics advisor in the school system. I took great care in my son at home and we talked openly about it. I advised my son that he did the right thing not hitting back and he said he cannot go to the teacher as they do not listen to him. I being a para have seen all to often the favortism for kids that come from a more high social status and it makes me sick to my stomach. And then I also see the lack of help in the school. Its enough to make me want to scream sometimes!! My son is not perfect, but we need more boys that are not using their aggression to hurt others and yet by not keeping watch over these children and shoving parents aside because of their social status is defeating the well being of these children. I have made it clear that I understand the teacher's position so I am not operating on ignorance or emotion.. but I am a mom, single, pursuing my dreams and encouraging my son in the same!! I love volunteering when I can.. we cannot afford the highest quality of clothing, but my son is well taken care of. I then wrote a letter and informed the teacher that If i felt this was going to become to much of an issue and she could not deal with it herself, as a mother who is primarily for the best interest of her son, I would have to bring this to someone above her. I guess its really hard for me because I feel hit on all sides. There are really great parents that want the best, but in order for us to do that we need the teachers to being doing theirs as well. I have no help at home and that does not give me any excuses to not give my son the care he needs, so I am advocating now for one of my school papers the NEED for classroom aides, budgets that are cut to not be cut in jobs, but rather other areas.. (i have ideas there as well).. I am venting but I wanted to open a discussion on this... I am seriously considering home-schooling in the future if I have to for awhile when I get my degree. Has anyone else been feeling these stresses in their lives as well? Just because my name is not the biggest in the community, does not mean that someday I may just be someone you may want on your side. :)