Disappointed (In the school, not my son)

Jemmie - posted on 06/25/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I recently attended my son's graduation from preschool. He was not named on the Honor Roll. I was disappointed in the school system because:
1. I am one of the parents who are constantly checking with the teacher about my child.
2. I was told that he was doing very well and there was nothing to be concerned about.
3. I know he was doing very well because I teach, review, introduce, play, study and everything you could possible do with a 4 year old, with him.
4. He is an advanced 4 year old.
5. His report verifies Honor Roll status.

N.B. I teach at the primary level of the school (10, 11, 12 year olds)
Am I expecting too much? Should I be disappointed? Is this feeling normal? Should I consult with the teacher? Any advice, please... I NOW feel like one of my parents.

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Mary - posted on 07/03/2010

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I am suprised they even have an honor roll. My school doesn't do that. We should be focused on children loving to learn. They have enough to worry about in their little lives to worry about being good enough academically. My question is when did children stop being children and become adults with adult expectations? Let kids be kids.

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18 Comments

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Julie - posted on 08/19/2010

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"Thank you all for your responses. I have had an opportunity to think about it and he was doing too much for his age anyway. I am thankful to God that he is healthy and yes he is a great son and I couldn't ask for better. Thanks again for responding."

Thank gooooooodness!!! I was realllllly worried for a second there!!!

Angie - posted on 07/10/2010

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You were lucky to even have a graduation! Lol...my daughter didn't have one. They invited the class to a local park for water play the day after school let out. I went but only one other child in her class was there. The teacher then gave us a gift bag with a certificate of completion and picture with the teacher. That was it. The teacher said that they have done away with having a graduation ceremony for preschool.

Dara - posted on 07/09/2010

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Why is there an honor roll in preschool? I find that absolutely inappropriate. Way to teach our kids they aren't good enough! Are they meeting the goals or aren't they? If they are, they are doing fine, if they're not, don't single them out...talk to the parents to coordinate how you can work together to improve. I'm astounded! Tell your son he's fantastic and leave it at that, because I'm sure he is.

Jen - posted on 07/08/2010

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Why in the world do they have honor roll in preschool? We don't start putting kids on honor roll until 4th grade. Preschool seems way, way too early and too much pressure on a 4 year old.

Emily - posted on 07/08/2010

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Being a preschool teacher for 10 years I have NEVER heard of placing 4 year olds on a Honor Roll.I think that puts too much expectations on them and the parents that they need to do better..It seems to me that you are doing more than enough with your childs education and to remember that he is only 4 :) He will have the rest of his education years to worry about being on the honor roll! If it was me I would talk to the teachers and ask why do they have a honor roll and if they feel that they still want the honor roll, than I believe that ALL the children at this age should be on it...Children dont need to be sooo competive at this age about who is smarter and doing better in school than their friends. I am SHOCKED that a preschool allows this! Good luck and be a proud momma....he sounds like a very smart little guy :)

Bobbi - posted on 07/06/2010

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I never heard of honor roll at the preschool level, but if his report card verifies honor roll status and it is this important to you, talk to the teacher (first) and then an administrator if that doesn't help. Mistakes happen, and this could be simply a bookkeeping error that is easily rectified.

Kirsten - posted on 07/04/2010

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What the heck are pre schools having an honour roll for? I think if that happened here in New Zealandthere would be an outcry. All preschoolers have talents at different things. Are they recognising all those different areas (sports, art, music, etc)?

Laura - posted on 07/03/2010

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I am a kindergarten teacher and this happened once too after I gave the principal all the names for the certificates and one little girl was accidentally left off. I saw there was a problem because the little girl was crying. I immediately went to the principal and we had her make up a certificate. You should talk to the teacher and the administrator and make sure they know. Mistakes happen, and it probably was just that.

Delores - posted on 07/03/2010

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Yes you are expecting too much from a preschooler.. You should know by now that a tilte or a certificate doesn't make a child and public recognition is overated in school. It's more show & tell for parents than child especially for preschoolers up until 2rd grade. If you know your child is doing well why a need for the paper or public recognition?

Stephanie - posted on 07/02/2010

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Honor roll for preschool? I admit I am shocked that it would even be offered. I have a precocious daughter who is reading at least a grade level ahead of her age, but I wasn't upset that she wasn't singled out during kindergarten graduation. If you pressure them too much (even if it's directed at the school, they'll hear you talk about it), you can create complexes. Celebrate his achievements and focus your attention on him doing his best, not whether or not he makes the honor roll at 4! I teach alternative high school, and have also taught mainstream high school, for over 8 years, and firmly believe that many kids are terrified of letting their parents down. When they begin to struggle with material, they give up instead of push through because their parents are focused on grades, not learning or how hard the kids are working. If you don't support his efforts to problem solve and persevere, and instead focus on whether or not he's on the honor roll, you are possibly setting him up for fear of failure (and disappointing you).

Dee - posted on 07/02/2010

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Why would a Preschool be naming an "honor roll?" I teach a pre-k class. One of my biggest goals for my children is to send them to kindergarten with a lot of confidence. When asking questions in class, I never say a child is wrong. I tell them that was a good answer, but I'm looking for something else. I don't want them to ever feel that they shouldn't try because they might be wrong. Naming an honor roll and leaving anyone off, especially in preschool, is bound to be defeating for that child (assuming of course they realize they didn't make the list.)

That said, I wouldn't put a lot of stock in a list. And, where I feel that at some point children need to realize they aren't the best at everything, as a preschooler I think they need to gain the confidence to try, even if they aren't correct in their answers or results. It sounds to me like you are providing your child with that much needed confidence and that you will get the great results you are looking for as he grows and matures.

Jemmie - posted on 06/29/2010

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Thank you all for your responses. I have had an opportunity to think about it and he was doing too much for his age anyway. I am thankful to God that he is healthy and yes he is a great son and I couldn't ask for better. Thanks again for responding.

Christabel - posted on 06/28/2010

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Your child is four. Why should he even care about being on the honor role? does he even know what it is? Do you think your kid is great? I think you could have your own honor roll which is a recognition of how proud you are of his efforts regardles of what grade he gets.

Jemmie - posted on 06/27/2010

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Thanks guys, I'll take you up on asking the teacher. Thanks also for responding.

Raizza Frances Jamie - posted on 06/27/2010

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you can try asking the teacher... teachers should be willing to explain how your son performed in school... I would also agree with Geraldine though. :)

Debbie - posted on 06/26/2010

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I would ask the teacher or administrator. It could have been an accidental oversight. I know that in our school I have seen mistakes like this a few times in the past. It is always hurtful when you feel like your child was not recognized. I have taught preschool in the past. I personally feel that an 'Honor Roll' status should be left out of the preschool realm. I teach 6th grade now, and they are disappointed when they are left out of the recognition at the awards assembly.

Geraldine - posted on 06/26/2010

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Could it be that your son is doing more for you since it is a one -on -one situation? Children perform differently in school. Please don't push your child to much; you want him to enjoy learning. I would not be concerned with him not getting the honor roll award.

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