Finding the Energy

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

I am a special education teacher at a small town middle school. I find it hard to work 8 hours then come home to a stay-at-home dad who needs a break but I'm too warn out to be much help. We haven't had a date night since our son was born 6 months ago. How do you find the energy to be productive at school with the students but also productive at home as a mommy and wife?

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[deleted account]

LOL! You don't! I know that isn't great advice but for the first school year that I was back I was a zombie. The only thing that I can tell you is that it will get better! I promise!

One thing that my husband and I did was trade off. Because I have to be at school early in the morning, he gets up with my son and does everything that needs to be done with him. Therefore, when I get home, I make dinner for my son and give him his bath and play with him. Then it's take out or whatever I pick up for dinner on the way home (because I can't watch the baby and cook dinner at the same time! He's just too active!).

The other thing is to be patient with your husband and have perspective. If your baby is fussy with you for an hour, he has probably been fussy with your husband. On the flip side, ask your husband to try to be positive about what happened in the day so that it helps you look forward to taking care of your son. (Just remember what it was like your first six weeks home with your son.) I have also found myself working later but I have to remember that it is a blessing to come home to my son and ask your husband not to call you at 4pm on the dot to see when you are coming home. It makes it hard to want to come home.

My husband has some advice as well. Have sex. This is a stress reliever (maybe not for us ladies all the time but definitely for the husbands!) and this will help your husband be ready to take on watching your son.

My final advice, keep the lines of communication open and I PROMISE it will get better!!! (My son is now 1 year old so we're not too far removed from you!)

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Holly - posted on 10/31/2009

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Time to call on your friends or family. You do need to give your husband a break. Don't get into that routine of coming home and collapsing. I've been on the other end of that. Even if you just come home and take the baby while your husband can get some quiet time to himself, I think that would be helpful. How do you find the energy, you don't. You just put one foot in front of the other and it gets done. Once I started working out again, I've had a lot more energy. I just started with little things while I was playing with the kids (leg lifts, squats, baby bench presses, etc.) My husband and I take turns on the weekends sleeping in. It will all be o.k. You still have a new baby, enjoy it as much as you can!

Kellee - posted on 10/17/2009

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If you find the answer, let me know! I am struggling with the same problem right now :-0

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