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Help! I have an unmotivated, gifted middle schooler!

Dawn - posted on 12/04/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My son, 12, is in middle school. He's smart, creative, and has the biggest heart. He was tested for gifted in third grade and has a 131 IQ. That being said... he's completely unmotivated. It's not constant. We have waves of motivation throughout the year, but I'm tired of the roller coaster ride. My husband and I are trying everything we can think of. I'm a teacher myself and can't seem to get through to him. This is not a new problem. We've been dealing with this on and off since 3rd grade. I've had parent conferneces, had guidance counselors involved. I'm sure I can not be the only mom going through this. Hoping to get a little advice and insight from other parents. Thanks!

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Deana - posted on 02/20/2012

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I am a middle school Spec Ed teacher and I am currently working with a similar student. When I sat and talked with my student he said that school was generally boring and that he didn't see the purpose. As an 8th grader we began discussing what he wanted in life (college,car, job...etc) and it dawned on him that he needed to show up and work in order for these things to occur. He and I negotiated some things out and things are going great. I don't negotiate..however autonomy is essential for gifted kids. It really helped him connect. Hope his helps!!

Lynette - posted on 01/11/2012

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Thank you for this! We have had this problem for several years too! We are going to try these suggestions.

Kimmy - posted on 01/08/2012

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If all else fails, bribe him!

Alodene - posted on 12/09/2011

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I agree Jill that also works especially the prayers.

Jill - posted on 12/09/2011

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Is this your first middle schooler? I've taught 7th grade for 8 years now and we see this A LOT. There are 2 directions you could go with this. The first is more positive: get him involved in an academic club based on his interests and let him earn small rewards for participating. The other option is more punitive but works for some kids when the positive approach fails. It's simple- just take away 1 or 2 things he most desires and tell him that he can earn them back when he starts working like the student he should be. Either way, prepare for a few bumpy years. My suggestion is a lot of prayer, advil, and chocolate!

Alodene - posted on 12/08/2011

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I know you are a teacher but what are your methods for your own child.I have a 7 year old son and i am a ECE teacher and my son dislike reading but i make sure a set a side a time where i out all my energy and time to spend that 30mins.to read with my son or do word games and i can say it is working but if you check your strategies then you should be able to get around helping him more.

Sara - posted on 12/07/2011

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Dawn, as a teacher of 4th-6th grade students the way I get my students motivated is to make the work fun! Make it something they are interested in. It's hard to do but with a little thought and creativity it will work! Good Luck

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