Home vs. Daycare

Darlene - posted on 09/01/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I have a 6 month old son and we have decided to keep him at home with me. Yes, I had to retire from my teaching career to look after him which is some getting used to! I am wondering what the huge benefits are for a baby to stay at home compared to going to daycare? I am arranging that he goes to some classes where he can be social with other kids but for an hour twice a week. Also to participate in a gym playroom while I rack in my exercise hours!

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Christy - posted on 10/28/2009

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Way to go! I was going to take this entire year from school off and my daughter would have been about a year and a half when she entered daycare, but I was weak. I love my job too and decided I couldn't go a whole year away from work. My daughter starts at day care next week. I have no doubt in my mind that it would be better for her if I had stuck with my original plan, but she wouldn't be happy if I am not. I think you are doing a fantastic thing for your child!

Juliana - posted on 10/26/2009

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I daughter started school at the age of two. She goes to a school where I teaching too, so that way I can always keep an eye on her. The good thing is that she immediately stop wearing diapers and toilet trained herself. The bad thing is I think she's growing to fast and wants be independent and does everything herself. Now she's three and tells me that she doesn't want to drink in a bottle and even me bathing her. I don't want my daughter to grow up too fast.

Chonty - posted on 10/25/2009

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What a lucky little boy to have you as his mum! Staying at home is hugely beneficial to babies as they get to develop secure and loving relationships with you...one of the most important first relationships. There is much great research and books which advocate mums staying at home, one I can recommend is 'Babies' by Steve Biddulph.

Have fun with your son...what a great gift you are giving him...your time!

Paula - posted on 10/23/2009

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Thanks Christina for your kind words about childcare. I work in a center that sounds like the one your son goes to. We do have low child/teacher ratios too. Infants get lots of love and attention from the teachers. The bond is very strong between the teacher and child too. Our parents know we want the best for their child. I have two children who are siblings to previous children I have had. It is nice to see how they are progressing in kindergarten.

Sarah - posted on 09/18/2009

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Quoting stephanie:

Sarah,
Sounds like we are leading parallel lives! I too am a teacher for the twos (our class is called the Monkeys ;-)) & my daughter is in the infant room right next door!
My center is NAEYC Accredited and an awesome experience for us! I would prefer to stay home, but having her at school with me is the next best thing.



We are the Bears! lol we are also NAEYC accredited.  I would also enjoy staying home with my daughter, but I can honestly say I know she is having a great experience at our center.

Stan-Diana - posted on 09/18/2009

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When it comes to socialization you are the best role model for your child. It is amazing how your child will learn so much about socializing by watching you in the community as you go about your errands with your child. When you have organized activities for your little one then you are in control of who your child plays with and can be there to watch and correct and teach. I have four children and had to step away from teaching way back when my first was born. We decided to homeschool our children and the results are well adjusted, confident children who can socialize with everyone and anyone no matter their age.

[deleted account]

Sarah,
Sounds like we are leading parallel lives! I too am a teacher for the twos (our class is called the Monkeys ;-)) & my daughter is in the infant room right next door!
My center is NAEYC Accredited and an awesome experience for us! I would prefer to stay home, but having her at school with me is the next best thing.

Sarah - posted on 09/14/2009

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I am a teacher with 2 year olds at an early education center and my daughter has been going to the infant room there since she was 10 weeks old.

I feel and KNOW that she is benefiting GREATLY from her experience there. She enjoys social interaction with other children and adults and has many opportunities with sensory and art materials, among so many other things.

Also being the teacher of an older group I can see a HUGE difference in readiness for preschool between the children who have been coming to our center from 10 weeks old and those who start at 2 years old or older. The children who have been there for a year + are most often better able to cooperate with other children and adults, have better vocabularys and are better able to adapt to changes.



although it is great to spend one-on-one time with your child to experience all their firsts with them in that first year, it is not at all bad for them to be in a center setting. Our center is in no way a babysitting service and we pride ourselves in having a very well educated staff, so if you are going to put your child in school before public school make sure you ask what sort of qualifications they require of their staff, to ensure it is quality.

Lauren - posted on 09/08/2009

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I have a 14 month old (almost 15 months) and I also left teaching to stay at home. I think she has benefited greatly because of all of the one on one time that I can give her. We read books, learn numbers, and practice all kinds of things. In daycare settings I think kids often don't get the one on one attention that so many kids need. I also think kids lack the time with their parents that they need when they are in daycare. It is so hard when they are with someone all day long and then they go home to a house where parents have been working all day and have to cook, clean, and get everything else done that they need to get done. I couldn't stand just seeing my daughter from 5 or 6 in the evening until when she goes to bed at 8 and then whisk her off to daycare in the morning so I can get to school for 7 am. With all the take home and everything else I would have no time for her. I think the world is messed up and children should be able to connect with their parents more and one way to do that is by having them with their parents. She goes to play groups and other activities but we have a very strong connection which would be hard for me to have with her if she was in daycare. I know not all children and parents need that kind of a connection, but we do. It is sad that many parents want to be at home with their kids and can't with this economy. We give up a lot to have the situation we do and I wouldn't change any of it. My mom did the same for the four of us and we all were at the top of our classes so I don't think daycare has anything on stay-at-home moms. Don't get me wrong. She is off to 1/2 day nursery school when she is three, but I won't be sending her to daycare.

Loretta - posted on 09/07/2009

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Well I had to learn the hard way. My oldest daughter is 11. I sent her to an early intervention school. She didn't learn a darn thing. Was more like a babysitter than anything. She didn't even learn her ABC or how to color in the line or even the colors. Now my other daughter that is 8 I put her in early prek. Let me tell ya she is in the 3rd grade and reading on a 5th grade level. She is so intelligent due to goin to prek. Especially now...your kids have to know how to read going into Kindergarden. They say that if your child doesn't have at least 2-3 years in prek that your child is bound to fail Kindergarden. The statistics are high on this point. So, think very strongly about leaving ya kid at home with you when they could be learning so much now. I have a friend that is a teacher and her 6 week old son is starting daycare when she goes back to work. She has already raised one son. So think about the consequencies of keeping son at home.

Stacey - posted on 09/06/2009

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I so don't agree with you when you stated that parents put their kids in daycare for the parents benefit. The benefits of children able to decrease seperation anxiety at an early age, the benefits of group play, the benefits of adult interaction other than their parents...the list is endless...TAKE IT FROM A TEACHER...children whom have been in daycare /preschools/inhome daycares are much I repeat much more stable by the time they enter school. Now that is the toddler age, infant age, a baby only needs their parents as caregivers. But again babies that are engaged in more than one adult caregiver adjust more easily to change. Get the research and study it before you pass any kind of judgement on those mothers that use daycare! I have been on both sides and you should not pass judgement on anyone. What is good for one isn't always good for all.

Darlene - posted on 09/04/2009

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Thanks so much for all your perspectives. Quite helpful. I do believe that the so-very-young child should spend most of his or her time with parents with a little bit of training by sending the child to some temporary classes. Then when the baby can communicate and shows more independence, he or she can start sharing even more time out in the world. I found this website that came across as 'strong' but it helped assure me that I was doing a fantastic thing for my baby.



http://foxbeingthere.com/blog/

Christina - posted on 09/04/2009

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I have my now 9 month old son in childcare because my husband and I could not afford to stay home with him. He's been in school since he was 3 months old. His class is small, no more than 8 kids with at least two teachers. He is very friendly and when he sees another child, he wants to go and play with him/her; even if they are 3 years older than he. My son has come home with loads of artwork which help build his fine and gross motor skills. He has started to try to walk on his own. If he were at home alone with me, I wouldn't be able to encourage him the way the teachers do. I always know what he does throughout the day because of daily reports that come home with him at the end of the day. If he becomes sick during the school day, I get a phone call.

From the other children I see at his school, those children whom are older and never been in school before have more of a difficult time separating from their parents. The children who have been in school since infancy have no problems saying goodbye to mommy and daddy in the morning. I think in the long run, children and infants who attend school, day care, or something similar, get more than staying home with mommy.

Alida - posted on 09/03/2009

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A six month old does not need socialization other than their parents and of course siblings if there are any. The only benefit to daycare is that it allows you to do something else. I know this is not a popular opinion, but I think it's important to be honest and true to ourselves. We tell ourselves all kinds of things to ease the guilt, things that are simply not true. I commend you for making the decision to stay home. I know it takes quite a bit of adjusting. I don't believe that your child will be damaged in any way by participating in a child care setting, but I also don't beleive that it is of any benefit to the child. I have often had my kids participate in "social activities", but the honest truth is I did it for me. I needed some adult interaction and a bit of a break from the kids. A few hours a couple of days a week, go for it, but do it for you.

Darlene - posted on 09/03/2009

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That is true. Keep things pure until their time comes. And not rush them. I am so glad my little Jake is at home with me, where he gets everything he needs. I think that when he starts communicating, it will be indicative that he can slowly be introduced to the world.

[deleted account]

I think it's good and bad. It does help them to get what they want and it's good training for the real world but I also think it makes them grow up too fast. I don't think that kids should have to manipulate to get what they need and in general I think it's better for kids to learn that you get what you need because someone loves you and cares for you then to learn that they get what they need by behaving a certain way.

Darlene - posted on 09/02/2009

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Thank you so much. I agree! I think he will grow to be more confident with himself and in the relationships to come. Than compared to staying at an artificial environment where there are so many caregivers that do not care for him like his parents. Do you think that when kids know how to manipulate the system and other kids, that it is a good thing?

[deleted account]

I think the biggest benefit to staying home with your kids, for them and you, is that they get someone who is with them 24/7 and therefore that person is much more in tune to their needs. I almost always know what my son needs just based on how he looks or the sounds he makes. I noticed it much more when he was younger but my husband has a much harder time deciphering what is wrong with him. I am confident that this difference is from all the extra time that I have spent with him. Another big benefit in my opinion is that kids in daycare tend to become "street smart" sooner than kids who stay home. Working for a summer camp myself it was always easy to spot the kids who were there all the time because they were the ones who knew best how to manipulate the system and the other kids.

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