i want to know how to make my son to get married

Rasmiya - posted on 02/01/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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my older son is 26 years old and i like him to get married next year, but he refused to marry until he will be 30 , i don't mind whoever he will marry , the most important thing is to settle down and have children soon

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Deb - posted on 11/24/2010

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I should have added this to my post before but didn't think of it. My 37y.o. did marry 14 yrs ago. He called me one day and said she wants to get married, but I don't really want to. I don't know what to do. I said if you don't feel right then you shouldn't do it. I found out 6 months later that 3 days after he had called me he married her. It ended in disaster. The result is I now am raising the two kids from that marriage!

Karen - posted on 12/01/2010

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Hi I can see you are from a different part of the world and that it may be an issue where you are from. There is nothing wrong with that. But a lot of people are choosing to marry for love. He is still young in that sense. He has plenty of time to marry and have healthy kids. If you want him to be truly happy I'd let him wait and don't worry. The right girl will come and it probably won't be too much longer. I wouln't worry until he is reaching his late 40's or early 50's. that's when it becomes a problem here in America anyway. Not sure where you are from. When young people mary over here it's all too often an unhappy home and tends to end quickly. Not always but often. I've had several friends end marriages because they simply weren't mature enough to hadle marital problems and I'm only 26 yrs. old.

Deb - posted on 08/12/2010

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Hi! As mother whose 30 y.o. son just got married last year I have to ask whats the rush? I have a 37 y.o. thats still not married and I had a brother that didn't marry until he was 40. It's better for them to marry someone they truely love and want to spend the rest of their life with than to rush into something that may only last a couple of months.

Jill - posted on 02/04/2009

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There is absolutely no rush for him. Especially with divorce rates so high, if you don't enter a marriage without thought and life experience then you may be risking heartache. And it could also happen quite quickly too. My husband's friends always said that he'd put off marriage as long as he could, but when we met we were engaged after 21 days and had a traditional wedding 7 months later and then a honeymoon baby. He was 29 and I was 28 when we married. Our parents saw how compatable we are and were totally on board, especially since we had lots of life experiences under our belts. I had my career well on the go and a house and car to my name. He had already 'sewn his wild oats' so to speak and lived all over the continent and was settled in his job, Our timing was right and no one pushed us. Just let nature takes it course.

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Faith - posted on 08/22/2014

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Pls leave him to do.what he wants,cos he knows him self better don't Force or push him.to marriage. Maybe he is searching for true love

Nicole - posted on 02/27/2012

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I would not pressure anyone to get married. If he wants to wait till he is 30 why is that not ok with you? If you push him he may come to resent you and the whole idea of marriage in general and then end up never getting married. You have raised him to be a, what I'm sure is a wonderful, young man. Now, let him go live his live as he wishes.

Janice - posted on 01/28/2012

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My son is almost 28 and not married. Why the big push? He will do it when he meets the right one. Sounds like you dont care who he married just that he married someone. Is that a cultural thing? Wouldn't you rather him take his time and choose the partner he wants then just to be married for the sake of it and get divorced a year later?

Kris - posted on 01/23/2012

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unfortuanately a males brain is a males brain and no one can force them to do something they dont want to do.

He possibly wants to set his life up first b4 considering marriage.

Alisha - posted on 01/16/2012

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You can't force him, and I'd say it does matter who he marries a lot more than when.

Dusty - posted on 01/10/2012

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You shouldn't push him to get married. If he gets married just because you push him to, I doubt the marriage will last very long! If he gets married when HE feels comfortable with it, it should be a happy succesful marriage!!

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Though it may be the culturally expected practice for your son to be married by this age it isn't something you necessarily want to push on him. He'll be 30 in 4 years and perhaps more ready for the huge commitment of marriage and family. I am sure that the last thing you want is for you son to be resentful of you because you rushed him into a marriage and family that he wasn't ready for. After all, he is the one that will have to live with the repercussions of such a decision.

Sally - posted on 03/24/2011

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Why is it so important to you that your son get married? Yeah, I know the feeling of wanting to see him settled and the desire to have grandkids, but really, the world won't' come to an end if he never gets married or never has children. When the time is right for him it will happen...or not. My son recently turned 27. He's been in the Army since high school. He's dated many women in those years, but as he told me a few years ago, if and when he ever found the RIGHT woman, he would let me know. Well, about 6-8 months ago he found that woman. And I was the first to know. He found an absolutely wonderful young woman who is such a good match for him that she was certainly well worth the wait. Too many young people these days are rushing into marriage, only to break up, hurting everyone, often including children, in the process. Let your son know that you support his decision to marry or not. Let him know that you want him to be happy on his own terms. If that means marriage and family, fine. If that means he never marries, that's fine too, as long as he is happy with his own decision. Any male can make a baby, but it takes a real man to be a husband and a father. And it takes a real man to find his own path thru life.

Shannon - posted on 12/21/2010

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I wouldn't rush your son into getting married. Men need more time to mature and find the right person. They also have time to have life experiences of their own that they can bring to the marriage. I didn't marry until I was 27 and I was glad for that. I was able to travel, meet people, and have my own experiences from which I could draw reference when I needed it. It taught me how to handle different people and different situations. Rushing into marriage is not the answer. He'll get there when he is ready.

Christabel - posted on 12/12/2010

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I think that even if you have strong religious convictions which say that ultimately marriage is expected, 30 is not too old to be married for the first time. Is your son happy, does he have a job that he likes, does he have friends, is he a nice person to be around? Then if all these things are true , I'm sure that when he is ready he will be a wonderful husband and in the meantime he is sharing his platonic love around to the benefit of all around him including you. so whilst you may really wish your son to be married, I would enjoy his company whilst you can and accept and appreciate the wonderful son you have helped to create in readiness for the next woman in his life.

Jodie - posted on 12/03/2010

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Shouldn't the decision to marry be left up to your son?? Why the hurry, there is problem lots of things he want to do before he settles down and I dont blame him. There is no point him getting married if he is not ready to, other wise it will all end in tears.

Christina - posted on 11/23/2010

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Forcing him to get married will just push him away from you. You want him to be happy and want to get married. Forcing him will just make him not want to get married and have kids.

Debbie - posted on 02/08/2009

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Who says that getting married and having children is the most important thing? (besides you). Not everyone shares the same view as you......really the most important thing is that you're happy. Do you really want your son to be pushed into marriage and not be happy? If he's not ready for kids he probably won't give them enough love and attention either compared to when he is ready and same to his wife if he's not happy. Your son should wait until he is ready to get married and start a family not do it because it's what you want.

Kelly - posted on 02/07/2009

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Why are you pushing your son to get married? I think 26 is too early these days. My husband was 31 when we married (I was 24). He is an amazing husband and father, but was not ready for either at 26. Your son should be getting his independent life together, be it finishing school or finding a steady job. It doesn't sound like he has a girlfriend, since you don't care who he marries. I think happiness and stability is most important. If you push him to settle down, you will most likely push him away. I don't mean to be rude, but I can't understand your position at all, especially since your son is so young.

Staci - posted on 02/02/2009

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What is the big rush? Pushing your child to do something will only make him rebel more. 4 years isnt that big of a deal. Men are more mature at 30 then at 26.......

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