Sending my husband to deal with the teacher

Sandy - posted on 10/12/2010

Kids learn more from comments than percentages or letter grades. It sounds like this teacher needs to understand differentiated grading. Gather information and then try to speak to her together. What you hear and what your husband hear will not be exactly the same. You sometimes have to teach the teachers. Together, you show the support. Let her talk first and then share your frustration. Look for a solution to the problems.

Candi - posted on 10/11/2010

those kids are rude! We moved from Germany to TX and my kids slipped right in with no trouble. They were in Kinder and Pre-K though. Then when we moved from TX to VA they were in 4th and 5th grade, we had a struggle. The kids that went to their Elementary school are all rich snotty kids. We live in a good neighborhood and chose it b/c of the school. My daughter is very social and found friends without too much trouble, but my son is not as outgoing. He is the class clown and highly gifted. He is the one the teachers like b/c he is able to joke with them in such a sarcastic way, most people his age just don't get it! But the same kids get picked to lead the school play, to have the solo in chorus, to be president of a club, the leader in something, etc etc. My daughter's feelings get hurt b/c she gets overlooked for stuff b/c 'the other girl" gets all the lead roles. My youngest just started Kindergarten this year and the teachers already know us, so now she is being favored by some of the staff. Maybe the picking starts in Kindergarten. Next year is supposed to be our last year here anyway. We are military so we know we will be moving at least one more time! Tell your daughter to keep taking up for herself though. If the teacher sees she is not going to run all over her, she will chnge her attitude. So what if she gets recess taken away? Take her to a playground after school. Who cares wht other kids think anyway? If they say nasty things like that to your daughter, they are nothing but insecure bullies and I know they have to be picking on other kids too

Julie - posted on 10/10/2010

Update:
The teacher raised her grade and agreed it was a "matter of opinion"
So on the next writing assignment Maggie ask for a rubric. The teacher said "you can see it after I grade. Maggie said " well that really is not helpful you may as well throw me in a dark room and hand me a brush and hope I paint a picture you like"
So she had to sit out recess for being mouthy :(
This is Maggies first year in this school. and I know she having hard time making new friends and adjusting..the old school she was in from 1st and was a great school..this one the kids are very cliquish as are the teachers we are finding out... at the conference my husband was told " yes I am aware she is new FROM IN DISTRICT its not like she is from out of state." as if her anxiety about being in a new school was irrelevant. The kids a told her" Go back to where you came from we all hate you even the teacher hates you we see her roll her eyes at you!"

Katie - posted on 10/07/2010

I had a 4th grade teacher that HATED me because she said I was "too pretty" I would come home bawling because she would be so mean to me and my mom ended up going in to talk to her a few times because she was so unfair to me! If that doesn't help, speak with the principal.

Christabel - posted on 10/07/2010

I would reccomend that both you and your husband go to see the teacher. I would voice my concern and ask for her explanation. But as a teacher I think you have a valid insight into what is aceptable adequate teaching. The teacher may be quite intimidated by you whcih of course is not good but without saying anything hastily you are able to put this teacher on notice that you are not entirely happy with her standards.Be aware though the same level of focus on you, may happen for some slip up in your class and do you think that is reasonable.?

Coreen - posted on 10/07/2010

That's a great idea to send your husband because I never even thought to do that. I've had to bite my tongue a few times about some of the teaching methods in my son's school such as the overuse of DVDs being watched in his music class and for them to "listen" to the background music and then have no discussion or report of their findings afterwards. Thankfully that music teacher is no longer in my son's school - maybe someone else complained as well. If you know some of the other parents, maybe you could talk to them as well and get their feedback.

Danielle - posted on 10/02/2010

My first question is: Would your husband handle it calmly, would he talk to her or just agree with what she says (aka would he feel like he's being forced or is he willing to go?) and are you sure you don't want to go together? This way you could ask a question that your hubby didn't think of and vice-versa. Also, I would read the book (or listen to the lecture, what ever the case may be) and see if the character "Ben" was actually named Ben or called Ben (like a nickname). If it is a nickname, I would bring this up witht her teacher, and if not, I would explain the difference between being called and named to your daughter (but also go talk to the teacher and ask if this is really a necessary cause for deduction?) Hope this helps!

Jennifer - posted on 10/02/2010

don't send your husband. Go together and talk to the teacher. Ask if there was a rubric or how the assignment was graded. Be calm, and act as a concerned parent who wants to improve your child's work. If the response seems arbitrary, go to the principal. emphasize that you already talked to the teacher and there seemed to be no rubric for the assignment. Stay calm but be firm and honest about the concerns you have heard from another parent.

Tricia - posted on 09/28/2010

While 'named' is grammatically correct, it is almost archaic. English is a language of changes and growth...how old id this teacher??

Franka - posted on 09/28/2010

Tammy, I had to laugh when I read your post. I had to tell my child principal that when I come to my child school to complain- I am not coming as a teacher, I am coming as a parent to handle business and they may not be too pretty!

Tammy - posted on 09/28/2010

You sound like me. I have always sent my husband to the school to deal with the teachers also. I have been teaching for 11 years BUT when it comes to my children, I can become unprofessional also. I would say do what you think is best, if you want him to go then I don't see a problem with that.

Franka - posted on 09/27/2010

You should not send your husband. You should both go to the school and have a conference with the teacher.

Rebecca Swilley - posted on 09/10/2010

I understand your frustration with the grade on the assignment. Go and see the teacher anyway. There may be a perfectly good explanation, or there may not be. Allow the teacher to explain the assignment and then ask to allow your daughter to redo the assignment. Approach as a concerned parent and not an angry parent and you may be more satisfied with the outcome.