Should I put my child in my classroom?

Margo - posted on 12/27/2009 ( 38 moms have responded )

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I have the option of putting my baby girl in my preschool classroom when she turns 3 years old. I have three co-workers (one co-teacher, one TA, and a family advocate). I have been a preschool teacher for 9 years and a parent for four months. Would having her in the classroom with me distract me from my job? I feel like I would annoy my co workers in the classroom. What have you experienced?

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Angie - posted on 01/17/2010

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Hi - I think if you have the opportunity - even to trial it go for it. I am a montessori teacher and there was the situation of moving my 2yr old daughter up to our toddler classroom, should we or shouldn't we? I have a great relationship with my other teachers and we came up with some 'groundrules' for benefit of both our personal and professional relationships - yes expect it initially to maybe be a bit testing, but we did visits first to build up fimiliarilty, and it is only for a short period really. I am pregnant with my second daughter and wouldn't change the time i've had teaching my daughter and her peers for anything. It has benefited us both & the other children. Good luck.

Angelia - posted on 01/13/2010

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I don't it will work. I have been in daycare for 11 years and from the experiences I had it did not work out well. It was stressful for the child and parent. The child was too clingy to mom and made it difficult for her to work.

Tammy - posted on 01/09/2010

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I had my three year old in my preschool class. Before she started at the beginning of the year we discussed how I am going to be her teacher and 11 others students teacher. That at school is is treated just like the other kids. We went over this many times. When it came time for the school year to start, she did pretty well. There may have been only a few times she drove me crazy..but don't all our students from time to time?? :)

Alisha - posted on 01/09/2010

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honestly it differs with different children. I have 4. When I taught at the pre-k level, I had each of my older in my class for a short period of time. With my oldest, it was great! He didn't require more of my attention or get jealous like other teachers' children had. When he was bad, I was able to associate him as a student and not my child, so I didn't punish him softer or harder than any other child. I did tend to sort of, ignore some things that I don't think I would've with other kids. Like, when he whinned and I knew he was just whinny that day or if there were only 4 cupcakes left and he was the 5th child, I would get him another treat instead (that was the example that stood out. It was a child's birthday next door and they brought over the remaining cupcakes. I had them all cleaned, so I just sent the cupcakes home with the parents and so it wasn't like the other kids were eating them and he had to watch or anything). Now, with my, now middle, son (youngest at the time) he was MUCH more needy. He lasted in my classroom for about a week before I asked to have him switched to the other side. It was best for both of us. He was jealous and he had been sick, so I found it hard to NOT go easy on him for things that I wouldn't other kids.

Basically, what all my blabbering means is... try it, see if it works for you, but, just in case it doesn't, have a backup plan :-)

CeeJae - posted on 12/27/2009

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I am a preschool teacher also and a first time mom. I have been very lucky that I have a job where I am able to take my 17 month old daughter to work with me everyday. She is not eligible for our preschool until age 3 so until then I have her in my class with me. I have found it a blessing yet distracing at the same time. I have an aide in my class with me which helps out a lot but I find it hard when my daughter wants MY attention and can't have it right away because I am helping another child. I am trying to balance my attention out equally so that my daughter nor my students are feeling left out. I find it difficult at times. We are a Christian based preschool so there are only two classrooms and my fellow employees are like family to me. So in my case I have decided to put my daughter in the other classroom when she is ready for preschool so that she can get to spend time with someone else besides me and get experience school without mommy in the room. I hope that this has helped you out!! Good Luck!!!

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Tanya - posted on 01/17/2010

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I have the same problem right now with a co worker. The child (who has a hard time sharing attention anyway) is jealous. Also when they do finally move. They want to run back to your room. It is VERY frustrating for the other teachers.

Laura - posted on 01/17/2010

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I had my daughter in my classroom and found that i was always relying on the other teacher to be her teacher as she did not listen as well to me. She also didn't obtain the independence that i wanted for her in preschool. i would recommend against it. i personally wouldn't do it if i had the opportunity to choose again..

Britt - posted on 01/16/2010

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OOf- I'd say no. My mom is a teacher and while my brother and I were at the same school , we were NEVER in her class. Even she said it was just too great of a conflict of interest. It was hard enough for her to stay out of our business being at the same site.

Tiffany - posted on 01/15/2010

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I teach 7th grade and faced the same question. The computer randomly placed her in my class. At first she didn't want anyone to know she was my daughter and wouldn't look at me. This lasted a couple of weeks. Then she began admitting that I was her mom. By December, it was cool to have me be her mom.



Having her in my class didn't distract me from my job. I was able to focus on the other kids just as well as I had before. It might help you even be more effective because your mind won't have to wonder how she is doing or what is happening while she is away from you. It was a wonderful experience for both my daughter and me.

Mary - posted on 01/12/2010

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It's all going to have to do with the personalities of both you and your daughter, I think. I have taught both classes with my kids and without. Sometimes one son did great as me for a teacher, while the one I have in my class now is NOT working out. He is the naughtiest one in the class! Silly. You'll figure it out as you go, Margo. Be patient. All good comments from others as well.

Keomi - posted on 01/11/2010

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I used to work in a daycare. Even though I enjoyed having my daughter in my class it was also very hard at times when she would get clingy

Liesl - posted on 01/11/2010

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If your ittle girl can recognise that you are teacher at work and Mum away from that then absolutely!!! If you believe you can be her teacher in the situation and have the same rules, boundaries and expectations of her in the pre-school setting then go for it. I have seen one teacher who had difficulties with her young one because she could not define the boundaries for her and another (my own mum) have avery sucessful time with it because she could (with my brother). If yourbub is only 4 months old,you willhave very little knowledge ouf your emerging relationship... TAKE YOUR TIME... you've got time to work this out. It will all depend on how your personalities emerge as to wether or not being her teacher will work. Trust your instinct as the time approaches when you really have to make the decision. You canalso talk to atrusted teaching firend who knowsyou and your child if your really concerned! Just be prepared incase theanswer is not one youwanted to hear. You know yourself and your child... trust in that.

Jennifer - posted on 01/09/2010

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I teach Early Childhood (ages 3-6) in a Montessori school and do not have my 3 yr old in my class. At our school, staff are not allowed to teach their own child. If you are the lead teacher, I would not do it. You need to be able to focus on your students. My assistant's children are in our class. Ocassionally this can be a problem, but we have agreed that I handle all school-related discipline issues. Ocassionally she has to deal with other issues that take her out of the classroom, but it is rare. I guess the decision is easier for me b/c of school policy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I can peek in on her during my break or on my way back from a bathroom visit. Also, the other teacher is able to be more objective during evaluations. Hope that helps.

Priscilla - posted on 01/08/2010

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I am a music teacher and I find it helpful to have my daughter in another teacher's class.I can then help her with her assignments. As her teacher I never could. I felt I would be cheating to help her at home.
I also find that as a teacher you tend to be harder on your child, wanting them to set the example, ect.....That can put an added strain on the child in the classroom.
She is 10yrs old now , so I find it easier when i do teach her to say that I am her teacher NOT her mom when we are in the classroom....It generally works.!!!

Michelle - posted on 01/07/2010

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My mom was my Grade 1 teacher -- unavoidable in a small community. I only have fond memories, nothing I remember as bad. My mom only has fond memories too .... I think it was more difficult when I was in the upper grades at the same school; she stopped herself from intervening if she felt I was being treated unfairly (bless her heart for letting me grow up and learning to stand up for myself!). But be ready if you do have your young child in your class .... for us, the whole class was calling her MOM by the end of the year!

Emily - posted on 01/07/2010

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I have been a preschool teacher for going on 15 years now and a mother for 12 years!!! I never had either one of my children in my classroom. It has been my experience that having your own child puts a strain on you and your child. I wanted to be able to have a mother child relationship with my children w/out the added stress of also being their teacher. When you have your child in your classroom they are more prone to "act out" and want your full attention all the time making it harder for you to "have class". All children are different but as a whole it is better for you and the child to not have them in the classroom w/you. Good luck and God bless.

Misty - posted on 01/06/2010

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I would say don't do it. It is hard enough being at the same school with your child. The 2 teachers I know that did has regrets (and complaints).

Jacqueline - posted on 01/06/2010

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Personally I would not have my child in the same classroom, as she is your child she could experience the feeeling of being rejected when you tend to other children's needs. Not only that, but your co-workers could find it difficult to correct her behaviours should they arise. I think it is important for children to establish their own identity, if she is with you she will only establish herself as an extention of you and will not be able to experience things and make her own mistakes as you will be there correcting them and sheltering her. I f you have the option of placing her in another pre-school room at your place of work I feel this will be more beneficial for you both, you can still check on her, but you are both independent of each other.

Sue - posted on 01/06/2010

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I tried it with my son who is three and it was VERY hard work! You have to try hard not to favour your own child. He also find it very difficult to share me with 20 other 3 year olds. If I had to do it, I would, but I did find the days he was with me very tiring!

Twila - posted on 01/05/2010

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I have had friends that have put their child in their class, it did not work. Now it might for you. If i had my child, i would be harder on them, because they know my rules. It really comes down to, can you be objective. Once your child is in your class, she/he is no longer your personal child, but your class child. Will it cause problems, when your child calls you momma, not mrs. Lazarov. In my experience, i have never seen a positive ending to having your own child in your classroom. Personally, I have never had one of mine in my class, but I have taken them to my class with me. I am harder on them. Good Luck!

Shateema - posted on 01/04/2010

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I was in your same situation as a preschool teacher. I chose to put my daughter in another classroom and it worked out v very well. I respected and trusted her teachers and they were great caregivers. I let them know up front that I had high expectations for her, however, I expected her to receive no special attention. I wanted them to treat her like all of the other children. I even told them not to contact me at work about issues that they would normall discuss at pick-up. It all worked out for the best!

Kendra - posted on 01/04/2010

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My experience was a little different as I was a high school teacher for 10 years. However, I had my son in my English class. The choice was not necessarily intentional and I shared the class with a co-teacher, so he was on her roster. However, I worried about similar things. Let me just say that if you are a professional and have as much experience as you do, I highly doubt that she would distract you from your job. You have to ask yourself if you would be able to allow your co-workers to handle your child as they do all of the other children. If you can have her there without special exceptions or rules, then I am sure it will be fine. Many people think it is a negative thing having your child in your class, and I sure did get lots of questions and surprised responses from other parents. But there are positives as well. It all depends on your individual personalities too I would think.

Sarah - posted on 01/03/2010

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I would not place my kids in my classroom unless it was necessary. I think they will do very well with my colleagues.

Elise - posted on 01/03/2010

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I am the lead toddler teacher for our school. My son started in our infants room and after he was a year old was moved into my room. He's almost two now but this last year has been very hard for the both of us. There are many pro's to having your own child in your room but there are so many con's as well. My son fights for my attention all day long, even if that means hitting or hurting the other children. He is starting to transition out of my room and into the twos class and I've noticed he's doing so much better now that he has time away from me.

Rosalinda - posted on 01/02/2010

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Uh, I would say, don't do it. Find the best qualified teacher that you can trust to work with your child and who would teach your child well. This way, you'd be giving both yourself and your child some time apart (but not too far apart) from each other.

[deleted account]

I am a full time primary school teacher. In the last 3 years I have always had one of my children in my class and loved it. I have 4 children ranging in ages 4 - 10. When it come to discipline (as there are always incidents particularly with my son) I have expressed my wishes to be kept out of it and for the other staff members to deal with it. They have been wonderful and very supportive. I wouldn't change teaching my children for anything. Good luck.

Carol - posted on 12/31/2009

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I'm at a preschool where I teach 3s in the morning, and mixed age art in the afternoon. I decided not to put my daughter in my class, for all the reasons mentioned and it was definitely the right decision. I think she became much more independent and self assured than she would have in my class. Depending on the parents you have that year as well, it can become difficult to genuinely praise your child without being accused of favoritism (even though we tend to be harder on our own kids). It was still special to see her in the hallways, and at lunch, which I miss now she is in Elementary. She did join my art class when she was in Kinder, and that worked out great because she was older and it was only once a week. Good luck with what ever you decide.

Kristie - posted on 12/31/2009

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I am a K teacher of five yrs and I was faced with this exact circumstance. I think instead of worrying what your coworkers think, worry more on what is best for you and your child...if u think sbout it, shes only going to be little once and will nt stay in the classroom long.. Happy New Year

Anita - posted on 12/30/2009

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Personally, I would not do it. It seems to me that children perform differently for others then they do for parents. I think she should have that same advantage. She's young yet, but you may want the break as well. That can be a plus in parenting too. Think about it. You could still have lunch with her if she were right next door. you may still see her on the playground. It's not like she will not be near you.

You may want to think about what is motivating it. My friend did this, because she felt the other teachers were not up to par. She happened to be right. In her case it was for the best. It was only one year.

Jane - posted on 12/30/2009

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I would say don't do it. As others have mentioned she is too young to separate you as a teacher and mother and you will be harder on her as you will not want anyone to think you are showing her favouritism. I taught my daughter as a relief teacher for a few hours here and there (release time make up) and she was 5 and in transition and she still couldn't see me as a teacher she kept coming up for cuddles and telling everyone - that is my mummy - very distracting.

Dan - posted on 12/30/2009

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Dont do it!! To much pressure on both of you.. You need to be her Mum, not her Teacher and not her friend

[deleted account]

Hi, I am a teacher at a Montessori school and had numerous occasions to put the kids in my classroom. I never did it because I am not that good at separating my "mommy side" from my "teacher side" when it comes to my kids. I bring both children to class with me if their school is closed and mine is open, but it never fails...they won't listen to me as the teacher but and they want me to just be mom. For me it was not a positive experience. But, it could just be me not handling the situation well. One question I ask you to think about while making this decision is could you separate yourself from your daughter and only be her teacher? You might also want to think about what would happen if your daughter were bit or pushed down by another student.

Regina - posted on 12/30/2009

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For preschool, I definitely would NOT want my child in my classroom. I teach older children, and it isn't a problem as my own children or their super close friends come into my class, but I parent differently than I teach, and preschoolers just don't always have the ability to differentiate that you are working, not just mommy. They will usually react to you in the classroom the same way they would at home; by whining, demanding your attention, clinging, etc. That is unprofessional to have in your classroom. If your daughter is one of those who CAN differentiate, that would probably work! Good luck with your decision!

Shanna - posted on 12/30/2009

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I had the option to put my daughter with me or my co-worker and I chose my co-worker. First of all because she is an amazing teacher! My shy daughter grew so much under her guidance. With me she would have not have had a chance to be independent I would have expected so much more out of her than my other students and stifled her! She knows I am right down the hall if she gets hurt or sick and that is a great perk to be there but not there every second. I am also able to concentrate on my job knowing she is okay, then when the day is over I can switch to mommy mode which is so nice! I hope this helps.

Andrea - posted on 12/29/2009

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I wouldn't put my child in my classroom. They need to learn independence and you need that break too. It's hard enough dealing with our classroom kids all day and coming home to deal with our toddlers at home. I also think it is too difficult to separate yourself from being "mom" to your child at school. When I first went back to work a friend of mine was looking after my son, it was just him and her daughter. I would never do that again, I learned your child care giver should be someone separate, our sitter now does not have her own kids, which is great, she doesn't give preferential treatment to anyone. I think it should be the same in a classroom.

Lachelle - posted on 12/29/2009

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I tried that, it was a BAD idae I found myself being harder on her than anyone else , punishing her for things that had she been someone elses child I wouldn't have even brought to the parents attention. Instead of what I thought was gunna be a great experience turned out to be a horible one. I don't think it is possible to be fair to your child as their teacher. But that's just my oppinion.

Eunice - posted on 12/28/2009

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Well, I think if you have the maturity to handle situations such as hitting another student with your daughter, without getting angry is OK. I would not because I think kids sometimes do not have the ability to identify these two pictures mom and teacher

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