Should my son be in my class?

Kristin - posted on 07/23/2010 ( 47 moms have responded )

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I am a kindergarten teacher and my son entering kindergarten at my school next year. I have the opportunity to have him in my class. What do you think? Have any of you taught your own children at school? How did it go?

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Michelle - posted on 07/23/2010

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I am a kinder teacher as well but I would never want him in my class. Think about it, as much as I try to never show bias, I would unconciously. If he got hurt on the playground I would go into mommy mode, not teacher mode. I just think it is a conflict of interest. Other parents would be talking behind your back about it. I would rather just dodge that unnecessary stress from parents.

Leslie - posted on 07/30/2010

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I had my son in 7th grade and it worked out just fine. However, I think that kindergarten is too young. He won't be able to separate you as mommy and you as teacher.

Good Luck!!

Wendy - posted on 07/28/2010

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Absolutely not. Unless there is no other alternative, then I'd avoid this situation at all costs. The possibility for potential conflicts of interest are numerous and, as others have suggested, you would (unconsciously or not) be biased when dealing with him, especially if you felt the need to protect or defend him.

Imagine that there is a scuffle at a play centre and you son ends up crying with a bloody nose... how would you react? Would you be able to look at the situation objectively? Not likely.

Also consider this - will your 3- or 4-year-old son be able to make a clear distinction between you as his Mommy and you as his teacher? For example, will he understand that calling you Mommy, or running to you for hugs and kisses isn't appropriate at school? Or will he understand that he will have to "share" you with the other 20ish kids in the class? How will he react if you as his teacher have to correct him in front of the other students? And will he he understand that at home the rules are different? Unless he is VERY mature for his age, I doubt that he'll be able to make that distinction - which could be problematic for both of you as you struggle to define your relationship both in and out of the classroom.

Kirsty - posted on 09/21/2010

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I think it is a personal preference. I had my eldest daughter in my class for year 6 and it was good because she has ASD and I knew all the tricks for making her work. I never want to teach my second daughter because she is extremely clingy and when I used to work relief in her preschoool and year 1 class she wouldn't leave me alone. Now that I work as a visiting teacher for special needs I have had opportunity to work in my third daughter's preschool class and she is fine. She does her own thing and only talks to me when I come and then when I go. Sometimes she comes to show me things but it is no different to any of the other children. What is hard though is that although I can separate being a parent from being a teacher some of my colleagues can't. This means that when I am working in my daughter's school and something happens the line can get blurred. That is where my warning would lie but otherwise go with what feels right for you both.

Betty - posted on 09/14/2010

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I have 3 children, all grown now. All three were in my elementary classroom (we were in a small school). I treated them just like any other child - they say I was more strict on them! Had no problem with the older two, but the youngest had a different personality, and didn't want to be "just like any other student", so I had her transferred to another class, and she did just fine there. So I would say it depends on the personality of the child and the interaction between child and parent. Good luck!

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Athena Toriello - posted on 12/01/2012

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Know yourself. Know your child. I have a teacher at my school who has her son in her classroom and it has created lots of problems. He hangs on her, gets really mad if she doesn't do things for him. She can't seem to treat him, respond to him equally to the others. She can't set up clear boundries so her son doesn't treat her as a teacher but rather a mother in the classroom. It has caused so many issues that she eventually had to be transfered to another classroom. Now her son does much better. He can focus on his work in the class instead of manipulating his mother. I think children can be in their parents class as long as the child and parent make VERY CLEAR expectations of the TWO POSITIONS. If you are up for the task go for it but be aware it takes HARD WORK to make it comfortable for BOTH of YOU..

Deborah - posted on 10/03/2010

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My daughter was in my high school class and it was a great experience for both of us.

GERALDINE - posted on 09/16/2010

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i am a playschool teacher as well and i taught my child for a year, everything went fine, i had no problems with her at all, if anything it bonded us in a better relationship

Michaela - posted on 09/14/2010

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My son is in Gr 3 at the moment and is already asking if he'll be in my Gr 4 class next year! He's pretty independent though and has even started calling me by my teacher name at school when he sees me! Cross fingers it should be a good year!

Myishea - posted on 09/13/2010

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No! It will be a problem with the other children and parents. They will think you show him favoritism even though you would be harder on him than any of the others. It may be a great idea at the kindergarten level. My experience was at a hgiher level.

Dianna - posted on 09/11/2010

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I had my son for social studies when he was in fifth grade. He said I was harder on him than the others...maybe because I didn't want the others to think that just because he was the teacher's son he could get by breaking the class rules.

Christa - posted on 09/11/2010

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My advice is go with what your strengths are as a teacher and what your needs are as a son. Weigh them out. I taught at a small private school a few years ago. I taught my son for three years...smooth sailing. We had to set rules/expectations with my husband and my son. It was pure grace. HOWEVER, I started to teach my daughter right behind him, it was too much because she couldn't get the difference in the two roles. I chose to leave because it was carrying into our home life. She blossomed so much more after I left. My son enjoyed the one on one and was not threatened by independence because I respected his space. If discipline or other parents became an issue between us...I asked for staff support. It really depends on your family needs. :)

Jennifer - posted on 09/11/2010

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I am a 7th grade teacher and the only teacher that teaches FACS in my school at that level. My daughter will be in 7th grade next year and she will not be taking my class... I will be making arrangements for her to take music or art in it's place. She doesn't need to learn about cooking and sewing from me at school - we already do that all at home - as well as child care, money management etc... so why watse her time in my class wehen she could be doing something else...

Cherie - posted on 08/27/2010

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I taught my son in kindergarten and teaching him now in 2nd grade and loving it! I was never biased and am not now - I worried about it, but it never was a problem. I also didn't have parents questionning me with any favoritism or anything! This is my 2nd year teaching him and I actually love the extra time we get to spend together - he loves it too!

Jayne - posted on 08/27/2010

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if it was me i wouldnt , you will struggle not to treat him differently to the others and he needs to be with someone he can identify as teacher and get that new bonding experience with someone else.

Tam - posted on 08/16/2010

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This is something I have been putting alot of thought into as well.... I am also a Kindergarten teacher, in a small community school, and my son will be starting next year.........

Tanya - posted on 08/16/2010

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Hi Kirstin,
My advice is not to teach your son,it will be difficult for him as well as for you. You need to be his mommy not his teacher. If he has tasks to do for home you need to help him just like a mommy would do and not resist helping him as you would think it unfair as he has a better advantage over the others. You also would not want the other children to later tease him and say, "you do well because your mommy is a teacher." I think you need let him be at school on his own where he can discover himself and his own abilities and you can further nourish him at home.

Heather - posted on 08/09/2010

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As a teacher I don't recommend it. I don't think I'd ever want my own child in class. It would change our relationship to much! And...as many other moms have commented I think you would have a little bias..how could you not?!

Catherine - posted on 08/05/2010

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No! No! No!!! Not anything to do with you personally, but having had my mom as a teacher, I would definately say no. Being a teacher myself I would never do that to my son, even though I would love for him to have teachers like me. Good luck either way!!

Sonja - posted on 08/04/2010

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I wouldn't want this if it could be avoided. I just think it's a conflict of interest. I also feel like Kindergarten is such a special year. Your very first teacher in 'real' school.

Heather - posted on 08/04/2010

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I am a 6th grade teacher, and last year my son was in 6th grade at my school. I could have chosen to put him in my class, but I decided against it. My son is a quiet child and I wanted to make sure that he wasn't picked on more because he was in my class. I think it all has to do with the child and the atmosphere of the school. Certainly at the kinder level the other students would be less likely to tease (they would more likely think it was cool to have your mom as your teacher). My younger son loved having me around when he was in kinder and last year when he was in 1st grade. He probably would be fine with me as his teacher when he gets to 6th, since he is a more outgoing child and stands up for himself more than my older son. As several people on here have said, it just depends on the child.

Samantha - posted on 08/03/2010

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Every case is different but I wouldn't recommend it. It is hard for kids that small to understand the difference between teacher mom and mom mom, I have a child that was at my school from K-5. He wasn't a trouble maker exactly but no angel either. It was hard enough having mom know the second he got in trouble. I can't imagine if I was always the one get after him.

Amanda - posted on 08/03/2010

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It would be a tough one. I am a Pre-K teacher and my daughter has been w/ me on and off since she was a baby. I would have to say it is tough to remain neutral w/ your child and your students. You have to be on your toes at all times to make sure you're keeping it all the same..

Jenny - posted on 08/03/2010

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I think it depends largely on personality of both the teacher and child, but in general I would recommend against it. Even when I volunteer at my son's preschool, he acts very differently from when I am not there (his teacher and I have discussed it). He is not as focused on tasks and is more clingy; I personally do not want the teacher/mom barrier to be confused. My fear would be that I would expect too much from him as his teacher and it would change our mother/son relationship. I agree also with asking him what he wants just to see what he says (although what sounds good in theory may not be best for a whole school year).

Allison - posted on 08/03/2010

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I think it largely depends on the child. I have 4 children and there are 2 of them that I could teach, and 2 who there was no way it would work.

Great - posted on 08/03/2010

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I taught all three of my children their 8th grade math. First child, was because there was only one team of eighth grade teachers; I taught the second one because she qualified for Algebra I, and I was teaching the only class of Algebra. When the third child got there two years later, I didn't know what to do. We had now grown enough that we had two teams of 8th grade, but my team had the best set of academic teachers. I decided that I wouldn't say anything. The computers put him in my team.He's the only one that I had a little trouble with because the kids knew their was another team that he could have been on. They accused him of having the test beforehand or mama not grading his right.

If I was given a choice, it would probably be better to not have them if there is another alternative and when there's not, then buckle down and let the child know you are teacher in the classroom and mama outside the classroom.

Siti - posted on 08/02/2010

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I'm a teacher in a primary school but my daughter is only 2 yrs old. i want her to be in my school but i do not wish to teach her. my school and a lot of other schools here do not allow a teacher who has a child in the school to be in d same class or in the same level as the child. however, husband and wife are totally not allowed to be teaching in the same school ... conflict of interest ..

Vicki - posted on 08/02/2010

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I have had the wonderful opportunity to be a teacher to 3 of my 6 children, and 2 of my 14 grandchildren. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything, and I don't think they would either. As long as you are able to handle the pressures that come with having your own child, I don't think you will find a more awesome experience. I loved it. This year I will have my 3rd grandchild in my class...he is as excited as I am.

AM - posted on 08/02/2010

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I have had both of my kids in my classroom with me as a pre-k and k, it was tough but a great experience.

Kristin - posted on 07/31/2010

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Wow! You all have very strong opinions about this topic. I am definitely reconsidering my decision to have my 5 year old in my kindergarten class. I thought maybe kindergarten would be the ideal time to have him in my class. Our school day is only 2 hours and 40 minutes long and I have a very realistic view of my son. I know exactly what his strengths and weaknesses are (which I view as an advantage). So I didn't forsee many problems. However, you all bring up some good points, so thank you so much for all of your input. I especially appreciate hearing the positive experiences some of you have had.

Jennifer - posted on 07/31/2010

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Absolutely have your kids in your class. I taught both of my kids in my first and second grade class. It was the most rewarding experience! I never had a problem separating the teacher and mommy roles. My kids are both very independent anyway so they didn't have any problems adjusting that way. The parents of the other students in my class never had any issues either. Looking back my kids are so happy they got to spend that time with me too. What it really comes down to is what you know about your own children, you know if they would be able to handle it or not. Don't worry about what other people say.

Nicole - posted on 07/31/2010

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No way! I am a 1st grade teacher and children need to learn and feel independent while learning, thus growing as an individual. If he is in your class it will be too hard for him to differentiate between mom and teacher. He needs to know mom who is someone who works and just happens that she works where I go to school and the mom who he goes home with and takes care of him after school. I had my son at my school and I seperated the "Mommy" side so it didn't cause any social problems for him later.

Ejiro - posted on 07/30/2010

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I am headteacher, and at the end of the term, I have to make comments on the reports of all the kids. When I get to my son's report, I feel very blank in the head. I always have to ask my deputy to make a comment on my behalf. I cant imagine having him in my class. That would really be a tough one!

Ericka - posted on 07/30/2010

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That's tricky. If it were any other grade, I'd have to say that's really between you and your kids. My kids won't even let me teach at the same school they go to, and I respect that. Kindergarten is a huge step, both for your son and the rest of your students. I see the potential for conflict of interest and confusion for the students. I've taught at several schools, and they don't let you teach your own kids for that reason. Good luck in whatever you decide!

Sharon - posted on 07/30/2010

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Absolutely! Even though I was able to home-school for four years when my son was K-3, I am now a public school high school math teacher and I was fortunate enough to have my son again as a high schooler. It is an invaluable experience that you may regret if you don't take the opportunity. Believe me, good and bad may come with it, but there is no greater feeling than having your 14 year old raise his hand in a class full of his peers and say, "Mom, can you please help me" Priceless!

Sara - posted on 07/29/2010

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As a teacher myself- I think it would be difficult to have my son in the classroom, I would possibly be harder on him then my other students- however- I do teach Middle School and at the age it may be too difficult. As a educator- you have to ask yourself are you able to be as objective of your son- ask yourself would you be a mom first or an educator first while he is in your class.

Susy - posted on 07/29/2010

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No! He's too young and will want all your mommy attention and won't understand why he has to share you with all those other kids. I'm the only music teacher at my son's school so he has to come to my class---it's very hard on both of us.

[deleted account]

I taught my eldest in 6th grade and it went very well. I think we both actually enjoyed it. Then in 7th grade he went through the "terrible teens' and he was the first student I had to give a demerit to! I requested that I not teach him the next semester. I will teach "my baby" this coming year in the 7th and I've set up strict guidelines this time around! I agree with everyone that Kindergarten is too young. Parents still think their child is perfect at that age. :) and they pretty much are! I think I was too much of a mommy bear when my boys were still little! Now I see their warts and all...but they are still wonderful!!! Enjoy watching him on the playground!!! He'll run up and give you a hug the minute he sees you!!! Plus you'll be the first parent to see all the artwork in the hall! I envy you...you're going to love it!!

D - posted on 07/28/2010

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Don't do it! It will be really hard to have a teacher - student relationship rather than a mother-son relationship. Also, assessment and reporting would be rather awkward. I have a son who is going into Grade 1. I teach Grade 2, but will not be teaching him next year! :) I don't know how your personalities mesh, but if your child is at all strong willed, it would be harder for him to see you as a teacher instead of a mother when clashes in personality present as well. I think that if you want to teach your child, you should do it at home, and save school teaching for other students, but wish you lots of luck with whichever choice you make! :)

Theresa - posted on 07/28/2010

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Not a good idea at all. Children need to get use to other authority figures. It would be hard for you not to show favoritism and it isnt a situation that would be fair to either of you. Where I work we are not allowed to teach any class where there is a related child.

Dawn - posted on 07/27/2010

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I am a specials (I teach everyone, once a week) teacher in an elementary school. I have one coworker who was being moved a grade and asked not to move to Kindergarten so she wouldn't have her daughter. Then she had her daughter's class, but not her daughter in first and the same class again in fourth grade where she had her daughter for science. It was find in first, but in fourth it was trouble for the student. It didn't help the teacher's aunt taught the other fourth grade.

I had another teacher who had her son for reading in third grade, but not for the rest of the day. It was not a comfortable situation for him. This year she had her daughter all day and from the outside looking in I would say if there had been any other way she shouldn't have had her daughter.

I don't live in the town where I teach, but I don't plan to move there because I don't want to have my children feel watched by having their mom every week for 7 years.

Kindergarten is such an important year for spreading your wings and growing, even if you have been to preschool, that I think it would be better for your son if he could have someone else.

Ans - posted on 07/24/2010

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You have to be strong to be able to do it! It's natural to have the feeling that your child should be the best both academically and behaviour wise. If you can't put that behind you, don't do it! I was happy to do it part time and my son is bright and easy going. You can not play favourites, and you have to be able to get him 'in trouble' if needed!

Colleen - posted on 07/24/2010

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I work with a teacher (we are at the high school level, though), and it's been horrendous how biased she's been with her son. Her two other children graduated from our high school, also, and it's almost unbearable. She expects different requirements for her children, or even lessening of assignments (even though her children are of high IQ and motivation) in comparison to other students.
It's proven to be VERY difficult to deal with her on any level, and I've come to the point where I avoid her completely, and I'm grateful that her son has NOT been in my classroom for the past two years.
I guess it comes down to personal choice, if you have it, and whether or not you want to deal with the unnecessary stress from other parents or even teachers. Good luck!!!

Carrie - posted on 07/24/2010

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I taught K for 10 yrs. I'd say No to having your own child in your class only b/c its his first step into independence. Have you asked him what he wants? When we were considering keeping our twins in the same class for K, my husband and I asked THEM what they wanted. It was interesting to hear their perspectives on being separated and "having their own special teacher and friends". Good luck.

Ans - posted on 07/24/2010

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I taught my son's grade 2 class (part time) and had no problems! You have to be strong and treat him the same you treat the other students. I did not like grading his work though:)

Marlene - posted on 07/24/2010

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NO! Will cause you and him too many problems... let him go his own way, some semblance of independance.

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