Teaching in Public school but considering private for my chiild

[deleted account] ( 47 moms have responded )

I teach in a public school, but am considering private for my son who will be a kindergartner next year. Having some guilt over it. Any thoughts?

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Mary - posted on 10/21/2011

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I agree with some of these responses. I also teach in public school, but send my daughter to private school for a variety of reasons, some being that the public schools are overcrowded, chaotic and disruptive. I don't feel guilty at all; I'm doing what I think is best for my child.

Stephanie - posted on 10/18/2011

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Don't feel guilty at all.. My mom put myself and my sister through private school. She worked with the public school,system and knew we wouldn't do well and wanted us to have a more spiritual class room experience.

Nancy - posted on 10/13/2011

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Hi I'm new to this community. I am a teacher and I wanted to weigh in on this dilema. I put both my daughters in private school. Initially with my oldest daughter because she missed the cut off date with her birthday for my district and would have had to wait a year to start kindergarten. After her first year I fell in love with the school, teachers, uniforms, school community and the religious aspect. So when my second daughter came along 5 years later it was a no brainer. Then the costs became to great and while they were getting a great education the school lacked the extra curricular activities and sports the district had. I solved this by joining the districts private league another out of pocket expense. The small community also had it's down side for my oldest. Same kids same issues year after year, because we switched private schools with her she had to break into an already established close knit group of friends. My youngest started out in kindergarten and had friends for life. So I allowed my oldest to graduate out at 6th grade and move on to our public school junior high which she loved! She made tons of new friends from all walks of life with varied interests and joined every activity she could manage. Our youngest I waited until she could start the public school middle school with the rest of local elementary children. She also liked it and made a lot of wonderful friends and kept many of her private school friends. My oldest is a sophomore in college now and my youngest is a freshman in highschool. In their early years I thought it was best for them but being in public school at this point in their lives is good for them too. Every situation is different as is every child. Try a year and see what happens. You are not a hypocrite. Just as your responsible for shaping young minds in your care, your also responsible for your chilld's education as well. Also with a private school at least the ones I used. I was able to research the teacher and request the one I wanted. Not the case in public school. Whatever choice you make it's a learning experience. Goodluck!

Amy - posted on 10/29/2009

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I teach at a public school and my daughter (she's now in 1st grade) attends a Christian Private school. I really wanted her to have a very strong christian education and foundation. I don't know how long we will be able to afford to keep her in private school, but I would love for her and my new born son to attend the school until they graduate. I have now taught all grade levels (K-12) and I strongly feel that a more non-restricted CHRISTIAN education is the best choice for my children.

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Sangene - posted on 10/17/2011

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Well I'm from Barbados and just wanted to share that here people would prefer to send their children to private school because the child should receive more individual attention because the classes are smaller; the children seem to develop more social etiquette and their language is better as the local language is a creole based dialect. This is a mixture between broken English and some African. So children going to private schools tend to speak more standard English instead of mainly dialect. The curriculum is the same for both public and private and this is guided by the Ministry of Education.

User - posted on 09/14/2011

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i think you should stay in mainstream. private schools are too posh to send your child too. but on the otherhand they learn more and get better grades because of the fact that it is private. do whatever you think is right for your son.

Anonymous - posted on 09/11/2011

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Totally agree with you there. I also teach in a public school and found that there is very little discipline from K through 12. My younger daughter's first grade class at public school was a disaster. The kids were out of control and she learned very little. The parents of these out of control kids did very little to discipline them and the teacher spent most of her time handling the behavioral issues. I spent my time reteaching her and giving her supplementary materials in reading, math, science, and social studies because she wasn't learning very much and came home complaining that she was bored and angry with the "bad kids" in the class. Now she is at private school and said the kids are respectful to the teacher and stay in their seats when they are doing classwork. The kids also seem to be more well-read and listen when the teacher tells them to not talk. Her first grade teacher last year screamed nonstop and told the class that they were "idiots". I think that most of the problems in that class stem from lack of parenting. I felt sorry for the teacher but this didn't help my daughter.

Anonymous - posted on 09/11/2011

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Honestly, with all of the politics and state standards and testing being pushed down the throats of the teachers of public schools, it's a wonder public school teachers are able to teach effectively anymore! In public schools many times, the students are taught to the test. In private schools, yes there is often religion but the students are taught to be more independent and they are taught the basics in reading, writing, and math. We pulled our daughters out of public school and put them into private school because we were tired of the curriculum being so watered down - there wasn't enough depth in their education and the teachers taught to the middle. Both of my kds are well above average and were bored. My older daughter has AS and is extremely bright. The psychologist refused to listen to us at public school and walked all over me during the meetings. I had a meeting at the new private school with my daughter's 3rd grade teacher and the learning support specialist who also deals with Autistic support. I left the meeting feeling that these people actually cared. They asked me questions related to my daughter's needs rather than worrying about the needs of the school and the teacher. They understood my daughter more than the idiots at the public school I had been dealing with over the past 3 years. We mapped a plan of action and the teacher and support specialist are going to schedule a meeting in October to get support services in place. Both of my daughters love it so far and are making friends. My younger daughter's first day at public school was difficult for her. She already experienced bullying and was osctracized because she was the new kid. At the private school, the kids embraced her and welcomed the new kid. Is private school perfect, no, but it's far better than the mind-numbing dumbing down that goes on in the public school we were at.

Gretchen - posted on 08/08/2011

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I have taught in public schools my entire career and both of my daughters attend a Catholic school. Discipline is a big problem in the public schools I work in so my choice was easy.

Chazmine - posted on 08/07/2011

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Its nothing wrong with wanting what could be a better for your child and if you can provide that than I think you should...do what you think is best and also think of what the schools offer in your area public vs. private. Whatever you think is best for your child you should go for it that doesn't make you a hypocrite at all we all want the best for our children that just a part of being a mother

Amy - posted on 08/03/2011

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I have taught in both public and private, and I am choosing private education for my children. I feel that it is the best option in Oklahoma City. I know many won't agree with me, but I know I'm making the right choice.

[deleted account]

Thanks everyone for the responses. The guilt was feeling like a hypocrite....public school is good enough for the kids I teach, but not my own. As it is turning out....he attended my school in Kinder and all went well. We are going to take it on a year by year basis.

Glenda - posted on 07/27/2011

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I teach in a Public School and my daughter just started Kindergarten this year in the Private System. I have to say I havent been that impressed with is thus far. This has been mostly due to the teacher. My opinion is that you need to do what suits your child and your family. I have considered pulling my child out of the private school, the jury is still out as far as Im concerned. Why guilty?

Janeen - posted on 11/09/2009

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I teach in a public school and I had my son there for half of 7th and all of 8th, I had moved him from another horrible public school. I think it really depends on what your childs needs are and what school will fit that. There are good and bad public schools as well as good and bad private schools. Just make sure that if you are going private..you get what you pay for. Being involved is the key to any childs success as I am sure you already know.

Sonja - posted on 11/09/2009

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I home school but I would put my kids into a public school before going private. I really don't think the education system in a private school can measure up basically most courses are offered in public whereas they can be limited in private. Don't feel guilty just do what you think is best. Pray about it. God will guide you to what he wants from you son in his life and where he wants him to be.

Kellie - posted on 11/09/2009

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I am a Qualified Secondary Teacher and Social Worker, and I teach in a public school. I also send my two boys to a private primary school. I believe that as a teacher with my background I can make the most difference and utilise my skills to the best of their ability in a public school, but I feel that the private school that we have chosen for our sons best represents the values and opportunities that I want them to have. I think decisions on where you work and where you send your children are very seperate, and the decisions must be made this way. You need to choose the school for your children that best meets the needs and values of your family. Good luck - being a parent is a feeling of constant guilt and worry about doing the right thing, I have found that school choice is like politics people never agree so make your own choice, don't be pressured by others

Gina - posted on 11/08/2009

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I have both my kids in private schools. The biggest thing for us was that our local public schools have 1/2 day kindergarten, while private schools have full day acedmics. My kids would be bored stiff in a 1/2 day program, children need to be challenged and prepared ..

Erica - posted on 11/07/2009

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Why do you have guilt? If you have found a school that seems like a good match for your child that's great!

Sara - posted on 10/27/2009

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My husband and I decided to go with private school for our son. He'll be attending where I teach. However, I teach at a classical school. (I.e. we don't have text books. We use biographies, novels and non-fiction books as the bulk of our resources.) We chose private because we also are heavy into politics and fully believe that there is a politcal agenda being pushed in the public schools in our area. (Not always the case, but it is in our area.)



In the end it comes down to what you feel most comfortable with and what will be best for your child. I'm not saying private is the best option for everyone, it is best for us.

Levita - posted on 10/26/2009

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I taught in private school for 5years and now i am currently teaching in public school. THis is just an opinion, I would send my son in public school for his elementary days then I would choose private school for his secondary and tertiary. It's better that you would also check the school when it comes to its curriculum....

Erika - posted on 10/25/2009

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I am a teacher at a public school and I am thinking of having my MIL and FIL home school my daughter. They are both retired school teachers and are currently watching her now.

Mary - posted on 10/25/2009

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I do not believe that all private schools are limited in curriculum and resources, my children received an education that was 100% better than if they had attended public schools. They were exposed to things that the public schools would never even consider teaching. I really think it depends on the school.

Mary - posted on 10/25/2009

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I have always taught in public schools, but both of my children went to private schools for all 12 years. It is really what is best for your child and what you are looking for in an education.

[deleted account]

My 3rd grade son is now happily attending a smaller public school in a neighboring town because it is a better fit for him. The public school in our neighborhood is just too large, with too many "jock" bully type kids who picked on my "geeky" intellectual child. The neighborhood school was a bad fit for him, but is still a great place for many other types of children.We spent last year researching, visiting, and applying at 4 different private schools in the area, but chose the one we did because it was closest, has a gifted and talented program (which most of the private schools did not), and it is free.

My advice is to interview lots of parents, visit private schools and inquire about local public "school choice" options if they are available to you.

I teach in a local high school and find that teacher parents of my students just appreciate my honesty and sincere caring and attention to their child.

Good luck to you.

Pattie - posted on 10/22/2009

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Last year I taught in the primary grades for the first time after teaching upper elem. And I have to say that after seeing that (despite the excellent teachers) I would send my child to Montessori if I had the option in my small town. I live in Canada and I think the curriculum is far to rigid and structured for kindergarten. I like the values of Montessori. I wish my son would have the opportunity to learn more through exploration and hands on experience. Trust your instincts and don't worry about what others think - at the end of the day it's about what's best for you and your family. Nobody should judge you for wanting what's best for your children!

Stacy - posted on 10/21/2009

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Helen - well said! I'm in New York State and our lives revolve around the Regents exams. For English the kids only take an exam in their junior year and it stinks that come February, all I seem to focus on is the exam. Even at the beginning of the year I find myself talking about the exam and reading stuff that can be used for the exam. And I see the kids that learn differently or need more attention in my school and let me tell you, some of them are in 11th grade and read on a 4th grade level. It's awful.

Helen - posted on 10/20/2009

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I thought I was the only one in the world who felt this way. Yes, I have been considering the same for my two children. I think being teachers we have an insight of the "behind the scenes" of the public school system and don't want our children subjected to it. My biggest concern has been the drive towards scores and testing that teachers have lost the creativity to teach. Or the understanding that all children learn at different paces, styles and interests. I am deathly afraid my kids are going to be given a label because they learn differently from the norm.

Stacy - posted on 10/20/2009

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I went to private school from grades 1-12 and my husband went to public school from K-12. He says I'm sheltered and missed out on some experiences and I teasingly apologize for not knowing someone who went to jail for murder like he does. I loved private school - I participated in sports and activities that I never would have tried or been accepted in in public school. I am a teacher at a special act school that works with ED girls in a residential setting and I see daily the kids that have fallen through the cracks of the public school system. When our son is school age (he's not born yet), I will either home school or work 5 jobs to pay for private school. I agree there are some curriculum restraints in private school, but the confidence and security I felt made my high school years pretty memorable. Just my opinion....

Megan - posted on 10/13/2009

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I taught in a public school, but am sending my children to a private catholic school. The public school district in our area is not very good. I feel no guilt over it. My first role in life is to advocate for my children and provide them with the best things possible. Private school has been wonderful! What an improvement I have seen in them.

Christine - posted on 10/11/2009

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I teach at an independent school and am very happy to have my children with me. I know that they have personal attention and opportunities they could not have in the public schools, but I think the decision depends more on what the school has to offer and the needs of your child than whether its public or private. You know the reasons you have for considering the private school. Trust your instinct.

Kathy - posted on 10/11/2009

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I did. My daughter has a mild anxiety and dysgraphia when it comes to math. She needed a smaller class size and a more Christian atmosphere. To leave middle school she had the grades but she would have to take a state test that was a few days long. Talk about test anxiety! I put her in a smaller Christian school and didn't look back. I want to support public schools but my child's health was more important.

[deleted account]

I teach in a public school and my children have attended a private catholic school from pre-school on and they are in college and a junior in high school. I have never regretted sending them and find that both types of schooling offer good or bad needs which relieved my guilt about sending them. Getting a good education was #1 for me plus being able to practice their faith in school.

Berta A - posted on 10/09/2009

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Hi I had my child in private school and my husband and son convinced me to send him to public and my son told me one day I wish we didn't convinced you to send me to public school but by then it was to late to go back he was on his last year ready to graduate from school. Listen to your inner self or gut!

Cristina - posted on 10/08/2009

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Don't feel guilty at all, I would never let my children attend the school I work in. I work in a private ED school and have worked in public schools since I already know how they work I knew which ones were the worst. I keep my kids in the best school districts!! Your kids are the priority

Shari - posted on 10/08/2009

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Don't feel guilty at all! I have taught in both public and private school. I know that the focus and emphasis in a smaller classroom is much better for your child. I had both of my children in private pre-schools while I taught in an inner-city school. I would NEVER have put my child in that school just for the fact that there was not enough resources to even meet the standards! Don't sweat it, just go ahead and enroll him. You'll never be so grateful!

Stephanie - posted on 10/07/2009

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Quoting Debbie:

I didn't mind teaching in the school I was in but it wasn't good enough for my kid (I know that sounds bad, but it's how I feel). 



Ditto! I teach at a middle school and my kids are 3 & 4, so it won't be a concern for a while - but there's no way I would let my kids go to my school. Right now our kids are in K3 and K4 at a private school, and we really like it. We don't think we're going to keep them there forever, but I think we're going to leave them there till maybe 4th grade. I'm hoping to transfer to a "better" school by the time my kids are in middle school. I feel a little bit guilty about not wanting to send my kids to "my" school - but you honestly have to do what's best for your child.

Debbie - posted on 10/07/2009

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If you are concerned about the school you teach in, could you change schools? This is what I did when my daughter started kindergarten. I didn't mind teaching in the school I was in but it wasn't good enough for my kid (I know that sounds bad, but it's how I feel). So when my daughter was starting kindergarten I moved to a school in a better area. I've now been at the school for 7 years and love it. Don't feel guily, do what you must for your child.

Janice - posted on 10/07/2009

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I've always said that my dauighter needs to go to a school where I would be happy for the children to visit my home!! I would not be happy for any of the children to come back from our local schools, so unless we move, I'm either going to pay for private school, or home teaching!!

I don't think I'd want my child attending a school I teach at either!!!

Samantha - posted on 10/06/2009

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This is just an opinion, so consider that as you read ;-). At least half of what a child gets out of school has more to do with the parent than the school or the teacher. If the parent is involved and takes an active roll, the child does better and is held more responsible. Choose a school you are comfortable with, it probably makes more of a difference to you than it does to him. And FYI, don't feel too guilty - I know several teachers at my public school who send their kids to private schools. Oddly enough, it doesn't seem to be that uncommon.

User - posted on 10/04/2009

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What do you want out of an education..private school is limited in terms of resources and curriculm, but if you are looking for the structure and religious aspects then you for go those things and provide your child with enrichment opportunities yourself. It all depends on what you want for your child. I have taught for 28 years in public schools, my children all attended privates schools. Our purpose for sending them there was so that they were involved with a Christian community. Was it a good decision? They are all successful adults who have graduated from college. Do they have a diverse perspective on life? Not so much...we are getting there though. Good luck with your decision, there is no right or wrong answer, just what works for you.

Irene - posted on 10/04/2009

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Jenni R----you are correct with the term private----in some cases however, a private school is the better option depending on where you live. The same things in terms of politics goes on in both public and private. In terms of salary, you are right when you say teachers at a private school like myslef are paid less than public, but I would like to think or believe that others who teach in a private setting are in it to educate and not make the "big bucks." It is a trade off---- I personally enjoy the private setting where I do not have to worry so much about teaching to all the tests that the state is imposing. Public schools have to teach to the test, we have the freedom not to so the kids are learning more about life and teachers are able to explore more of their subject with the kids. In addition, I have friends who teach in public school and they say that the pressre is on to have their kids score well on the tests so theyare always worried about their jobs---kids score poor, it must be their fault. I don't know the right answer in all these educational debates but everyone is in it to do the best for their kids. :-)

Jenni - posted on 10/03/2009

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my thoughts are just an opinion. I don't believe private means it will be any better. Doesn't the quality of your child's education come from you and the teacher. Not the title on top of the report card? Private schools hire teachers the same way everywhere else does...hhhhmmmm, and they pay teachers less right?

Irene - posted on 10/03/2009

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I know what you mean. If I choose private for my son, he would be going to the school where I teach as well as the grammar school associated with it. I have taught many of the teacher's there kids so I worrry about if they weren't happy with grades etc. I think it is hard for moms who are teachers to begin with. Whenever I know a parent is a teacher as well, I know I feel a little ill at ease. Oh well. Ia m sure over time you will know the right thing to do.

[deleted account]

Thanks Irene. I'm thinking private because he would have to attend the school I teach at and I"m not sure I want that. As well, he's been going to a Montessori school for preschool and I really like it. We are used to paying the tuition already so continuing wouldn't change anything. I just feel like a bit of a hypocrite....my school is good enough for the kids I teach, but not my kid?

Irene - posted on 10/03/2009

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I teach in a private high school and am contemplating public for my son. How ironic. I think you need to decide what is best for you and your child, Also, are the public schools in your town offering more or less than the private schools you are considering? Also, socially, will putting your child in a private school help him or her foster relationships with his peers----do people in private school live near you etc. Also, is a private education in the early years important? Are you looking for a religious type school? In my situation it is mostly the tuition aspect that has me. I will probably send my son to the elementry school associated with my high school for kindrgarten b/c my town does 1/2 day kind. After that I am thinking public for K-8 then perhaps private for 9-12.



Let me know how you make out.



Irene

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