Your own child in your classroom

Naudeen - posted on 03/01/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I am a teacher of a 4-5 year old group. My concern is that my 5 year old daughter also attends the same school and since there is only 1 classroom for ages 4 to 5 she had to start going to my classroom since January. I find it extremely difficult but have no choice in the matter since this is the only good school in town. She used to be in the younger age group classes but now I have to teach her and she unfortunately take chances. I don't allow it but now she started to act heartbroken and won't stop crying unless I take her out and talk to her about being the teacher and she must do the same as the other kids. I am very consistent with my kids and I don't like spoiling them but wonders if it might be a good idea to 'spoil' her a little bit over the weekend just to make her feel special and that I am still her mother. What is your opinion?

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Julie - posted on 03/05/2009

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I not only teach my own children when they come to Music class at our Elementary school, but I lived the life of having your mom be your teacher growing up as a child. It wasn't at school, but my mother was my dancing teacher and always tried very hard to make sure she never showed a bias towards me. And I resented it- always. I don't think you should give your children special privledges when they are in class with you, but I do think that they need to know that you are ALWAYS their mom, and they are ALWAYS the greatest love of your heart. It is very important to me that my boys never wonder if I "love" the other kids that I teach as much as I love them. They know that I don't. It is very, very hard to share your mom with lots of other kids all day. But they do begin to understand that I wear my "mommy hat" and my "teacher hat" at the same time when they're in the room- I think just knowing that they are my #1 makes them feel much more at ease with sharing my attention and affection, because they know they will never have to compete for it. That's not to say they won't test me, but at the same time I'm sometimes harder on them in class than I am my other students because I know what they're capable of and see that they aren't doing it. So it's tough on both sides. I also make it a point to NEVER bring school home and talk about cute things other kids did that day. That always made me feel "small" in my house when my mom would spend our entire dinner time reliving her experiences with Little Suzie and Sally. I felt like I had shared her all day- when she came home at night, she should be all mine. It's a tough role to play, but not many get to experience the joy that comes from teaching your own child. Treasure it- it will be gone before you know it and someone else will get the joy of shaping them into the people they will grow up to be.

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Mary Ellen - posted on 03/08/2009

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I had my older dd when she was in 5th grade and now have my younger one in Music and will have every year. It took about a week for the older one to "figure out" that no matter what else, I was going to be as consistent as possible with her AT school. My little one, well, she still tests occassionally, but it's a bit different in the music room. Her classmates know that I will treat her as I would them, but she knows that after school, I'm all hers.

Naudeen - posted on 03/07/2009

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Thank you for all the advice, it really made me feel better.  I think I will try some of your ideas and see what happens.  Like you said: she is only young once and from next year she won't be around mom anymore. Thanks.  :-)

Jennifer - posted on 03/06/2009

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This is such a hard subject...Both of my children have been in my class and I struggle this year with my youngest trying to get away with things. I have asked my co -teachers to help out and step in when my daughter starts to need more of my attention...it usually happens when I am leading a group activity. I do go in at nap time when she is in aftercare and I often check in on her in the afternoon. Why not spoil on the weekend...as long as expectations are consistant...they are only young once.

Sandi - posted on 03/05/2009

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I teach high school, and am now experiencing the third of my three children in my classroom. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I know him better than another teacher could, and I have his best interests at heart always. Plus, my two older children look back on the time when they were in my classroom with fondness. Like the others have said, he needs to know (even at 16) that I am the teacher for everyone in the classroom, but only his Mom.

Amy - posted on 03/04/2009

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I am in the same boat.  My son is 3 going on 4.  He does not like to share his mommy.  He melts if I spend time with the other children.  If you figure it out, let me know because I am totally lost on what to do.

User - posted on 03/03/2009

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I too am experiencing both the joy and pain of having one of my children in my class.  We didn't have the choice of putting him in a different classroom since I teach the only 4th/5th grade class.  I have been lucky that he's old enough to separate the mom time from the classroom time.  He even refers to me as Mrs. G. when he's at school.  I questioned the choice early on; but now that the ground rules and consistency are in place, I have more good days than bad ones.  I'm sure your little one will adjust to having you as a teacher and I whole heartedly agree with the other teacher/moms about doing your best to treat her as you would any other child.  Maybe it's because my son is older; but he sure doesn't want to spend extra time with me on the weekend.  If anything he craves the extra time with dad.  One last word of advice, do your best not to be too critical of your decision as you ultimately know best how to deal with your own child.

Crystal - posted on 03/03/2009

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You should have alone time with her.



My friend/teacher is going through the same thing right now. We both teach in a Montessori School. She teaches 1-3 grade and I teach 4-6. She is going to send me her daughter one year early (She is very ready) b/c it has become to difficut to mom and teach her.

Samantha - posted on 03/03/2009

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I too am a K5 teacher with my own son in my class and agree strongly that it is a very hard position to be in.  I try my best to treat him the same at school as i would all of the other children, but he's used to being the baby and getting, not all, but a lot of what he wants.  He has gotten better over the last few months, after adjusting to being with me all day long.  Now things are settling down some.  And of course, we take turns having our own little outings where only one child will get to go out and spend alone time with me.  Whether it be going to the grocery store, run errands, or whatever, just the one on one makes a difference.

Janice - posted on 03/03/2009

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I have had most of my ten children in my classroom at one time or another. Right now I teach three of them. The most important thing is that your daughter knows that you are ALWAYS her mommy even in class. I'm sure you are as consistent with your students as you are with your own children so it won't take her long to figure out that you're the same you inside the class as outside when it comes to your expectations of her. However, a little "inside" communication in the classroom will help. Purchase inexpensive necklaces that you can both wear as a quiet communication that she may be one of the other students bue she's your special girl. Use a quiet signal that says I Love You when you can see she needs a little more mommy and a little less teacher. Usually these things will give her the security of knowing that she's special even in a room full of other children. Good luck!

Dallas - posted on 03/03/2009

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I think that you should definitely have Mommy time with your daughter after school and on the weekends...that doesn't mean that you should buy her a ton of toys, but spend some special time together. I can't imagine being in your position, but you can't let her get away with things the other children don't get away with. How would you react to another child who started crying and wouldn't stop? You should handle your daughter the same way. She'll learn eventually that at school she has the same rules as anyone else...regardless if Mom's the teacher or not. It's only been a little while...hang in there :)

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