Any Advice for when the Debate is 2 Sided?

Christina - posted on 01/29/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have always been interested in home schooling. I want to teach at my children's pace, and spend more time with them as well. It also does not involve the risk of them being bullied or taught something too soon/not soon enough. My daughter is only 9 1/2 weeks so I have a long time to go before I even consider it. The problem is my fiance. He does not agree whatsoever, even though I try to convince him that even the experts say it does not cause developmental delay/social awkwardness. Morgan will have plenty of times/places to interact with other children. Nobody agrees with me. I am surrounded by cynics. On the other hand no one thought it was intelligent for me to decide on a home birth, but that worked out well. So is there anyone out there who had to convince their significant other that home schooling was the best option?

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Cindy - posted on 05/11/2010

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Start looking around for a homeschooling community. You probably can't join it immediately (but you never know!), however you can start chatting with others in your area. I was laid off when my daughter was 3 and we weren't planning to homeschool. However, alot of moms I knew were and I started going to their playgroup. We ended up going to the local homeschool convention and my husband was very impressed with the children we met there. He also went to a panel on homeschooling gifted children and a light bulb went off for him. He was on board with homeschooling after that. Our daughter is 7 now and my husband will be speaking at our next convention. :-D

Hillbillywoman - posted on 07/15/2009

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Abe Lincoln was homeschooled and mostly self-educated. He only had one year of formal education (public school).

When I first began homeschooling my oldest child during her 7th grade year, my husband said that he sure hoped I knew what I was doing. I told him that I didn't know what I was doing, but it couldn't be any worse than the "so-called" education she was receiving in the public school system. You see, she had gone from an all A's student in primary school, to a B and C student in middle school. When we took her out of p.s., she took a placement test to determine her grade level in her subjects. She was on a 5th grade level in Math and English, and her public school teachers hadn't even caught it! Also, her attitude was horrifying. We took her out of public school mainly due the drastic change in her personality. She had become defiant and hateful towards her whole family.

Homeschooling improved her learning ability, and made a change in her attitude. She graduated a year ahead of her pubic school peers, and was ready for all college-level subjects. She attended college, is now married, has a child of her own (whom she plans to homeschool), and a wonderful job.

I homeschooled my youngest from 1st grade on. He graduated last May and is enrolled in college. He, too, was ready for all college-level subjects upon graduating from high school at home.

What is so amazing about their story is that I, myself, have only a high school diploma. But, like Abe Lincoln, I educated myself in many areas so that I could teach my own children. They took many subjects in high school at home, that I had not taken before. So, I learned right along with them.

Tammy - posted on 02/14/2009

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my suggestion is just to do it, your daughter will start learning as soon as she can sit up and walk on her own, start there, help her with colors, shapes, keep in mind that repeating things when children are young helps alot. Read read read, all the little books that you read when you were a child, read her...while she sleeps when she is young and then when she gets bigger have a reading time every day that you do, for example just before nap time when she is winding down.

Learning happens just as it happens, not forcing the issue and just doing what you think is right in the beginning may change the way your husband looks at the school, kids do not have to be enrolled until grade one, take on the jk and see how that goes. Make a deal with your husband that you will try it and see how it goes, if something changes and she wants to go, let her try that..being a parent isn't always doing things the way our parents did...its doing what is best for our children.

Take your time, you have lots of it..one step at a time...

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Hillbillywoman - posted on 04/03/2010

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I have graduated 3 children from schooling at home, and I am speaking from experience that it can work and will not be detrimental to your children. My oldest child, a daughter went on to work as bookkeeper in one of our local banks. My second child, a son, is now a correctional officer in one of our state's maximum security prisons, and my youngest, a son, is in his second semester of college. He is doing great. Made the President's List last semester. 4.0 GPA.

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Do you just have the baby? if so start homeschooling NOW, no not with flashcards, with an eye to the wonders of the world, then when she is about 3 revisit the topic if you still love educating her, keep it up, if not, at least you tried.

If you really marry the fellow, and he is still around at about 4 she will prolly know more than a regular k-5 would offer anyway, so that whole 'she will be bored' might sway him.

Marshal ALL your reasons, not all at once, but one by one, softy put them out there.

My husband spent the last 7 years convincing his family, they don't really agree but they no longer argue.

It would certainly help if you knew any homeschooled kids that were well adjusted. (I happen to have been homeschooled myself)

Dana - posted on 07/17/2009

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Oh, I forgot something, and it's most important: You have to hang in there and just know that after the first year or so, when those people see that your child has not been "socialized" by society but is pleasant to be around (even adults will think so), and has friends galore...they'll know how ignorant they were for having the opinions they currently have.

Dana - posted on 07/17/2009

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If I had more time I wouldn't be so blunt but he's your fiance, she's your daughter. Since you are not married yet, I would say she comes first in your decision making : ). The other people don't matter. Remind yourself they are basing their opinions on what their warped idea of homeschooling is. Until they spend time researching the matter, they don't matter : ) . Public school is a cesspool of personality traits that are not all that wonderful and personally I prefer to see my children enjoying the freedom of being themselves instead of being what society expects them to be...and then trying to figure out who they are - later in life, all in the name of trying to "find" themselves. KWIM?

Nicole - posted on 02/02/2009

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Good for you on your home birth. We had a home birth 8 1/2 weeks ago. It's incredible isn't it? As for the debate, my husband was on board, but we had to defend our decision to our family. Find books by Linda Dobson. They are really helpful. They are filled with stories from parents who decided to homeschool for various reasons. Also, if you can get through it, The Underground History of American Education. It was written by John Taylor Gatto. It's a fairly intense read, but filled with facts and reasons to homeschool. My biggest arguement also goes back to our forefathers. George Washington was homeschooled, as was Thomas Jefferson. There is no other time in your life that you are only surrounded by people of your own age. Most of your life you spend with people of various ages, and homeschooled children tend to be really comfortable around all people, not just their peers. The other big thing for us is values. They are learning our values, not the school system's. There is a lot of social indoctrination that goes on in public school. At least that's what we experienced with our oldest in kindergarten. The other thing that we are avoiding is the social problems that occur in school. Good luck. We are really glad that we chose this route. I hope you are able to get support. The biggest thing for you is not to get pushy, just keep dropping facts and doing research.

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