FITS!

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Sarah - posted on 05/20/2009

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My daughter is one & she already has fits: if she isn't fed on time, if she doesn't like her food, if we don't pick her up... you get the picture. Fits are normal & kids are just expressing themselves. Just let the fit go & not give in to it & stick your ground. They will eventually get over it & forget all about it. Fits are tough to handle & they seem to get worse as kids get older. Hang in there =]

Holly - posted on 05/20/2009

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my son is 201/2 months and he has fits to ,when he is over tired they seam to be worse ..when he dont get his way he will cry out loud adn then hold his breath untill he passes out (yes we have taken him to the hosipital ,dr,nurolgist ,etc )its calle dbaby blue spell temper tantrums ...they can even tho them selfs on the floor screaming hiting kicking biting ..the most important thing is that you DO NOT give in to her once she has done it !like in a store you tell her no ,its no you can have her lay there yes peolpe will look ,i tell my boys look every one is looking at you being crazy ...or if you can you can remove her adn take her out to the car and stay with her of course ,or bath room till she is done ...when iam at the store we go over the rules on the way there ..no asking ,no pulling ect,also depending on how old have her help u by reading the list to you ....if you use coupons have her use those ..het a dry erease bord and let her draw on that to .......good luck ..no matter what you do dont give in

Kathy - posted on 05/20/2009

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I have a 3yr old and fits that scare the neighbors. He yells, screams hits, and use to bite. There bad. Times outs don't work well for him when he gets to the point of major melt down he cannot reason or hear me. So I just let him fume it out until I can grab his attention with something else and he's ready to handle what is going on (depending on the cause, if the cause was him hurting or disputing another child we do do overs). I do not give in to what it is he wants. I have made a decision and am not negotiating.

Here are some things we have had success with. I always acknowlege his feelings. He is angry, or sad, or frustrated and we label these feelings.( ie It must make you really angry he took that toy.) Then would come in the do over. "If you hit him it hurts him let's try it again. You want that toy, how can you get it." he asks the child says no. We then go to the 5 minute and timer. I encourage him to ask for a turn when they are done or to oftter the "can I have it in 5 minutes". It doesn't stop the tantrum but it gives him the tools to label the feelings and how to handle things for the future helping future tantrums.

I also try to watch for markers that the tantrum is coming and try to head it off at the pass. Looks like he's playing with that why don't we get a car and come back and play with it when he's done.

The most frustrating for me is the I want it now (chocolate when he gets up first thing in the morning, or something he wants but is not going to be able to have). I try and cut it off early. Before the melt down begins I tell him what I expect. " We are going to Target and we are not going to buy any toys today, we need to get... Do you understand we are only gettting ..." I then ask him to help me find what we need. I wasn't confident when I started trying this but it really does work, at least for him. I talk to him like an adult I know you want it but right now we can't have it and give him a time or short reason as to what is happening. He likes that I talk to him as an adult " I'm really sorry but it's going to rain and we can't go fishing. It will be nice this weekend and we can go then."

I'm not sure if any of this will help but basically we've gone to short clear expectations, and following thru. We constantly look at what is going on to try to help him handle the problem in other ways and defuse before the fit starts. It's not easy and alot of work.

About 3 weeks ago he was having complete melt downs more time than I can count a day. We are down to 1 every couple days , and I'm not having to intervine as much, he is learning to handle himself.

He is a good kid has an older brother who was nothing like this. This is just his personality. He's very loving just has an easy trigger.

Good luck.

Karrie - posted on 05/20/2009

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My 3 yr old son has horrible fits always has and I have learned to let him throw it, just making sure he does not hurt himself and then try to reason later. He is so upset in the middle of the fit it does no good for him or me if I try to disipline or stop it.

Kylie - posted on 05/20/2009

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Yes.....fits. All children have them.....was there something more to the question? Something specific you wanna no about? Or was facebook irritating and cut you off halfway through?

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