Having trouble deciding if I should be a stay at home mom or working mom after the upcoming birth of our third child in December.

Emily - posted on 05/18/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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The thought of leaving my job during this economy is very scary, but do I give up my dream of staying home with my children because of uncertainty in the world??

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Kristina - posted on 05/19/2009

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I became a stay at home mom the day my two year old daughter was born. Since then I have hopped on a roller coaster of mixed emotions regarding my role in society, freedom, finances, and self worth. My husband tried to convince me that what I was doing was for the best but I still felt unimportant because I wasn't bringing in income or having daily lunches with my colleagues, then he surprised me with a book that completely changed my spirits and how I was feeling. Because you are unsure, I suggest ( and I recommend this to both women who want to be and who already are stay at home mommys) going to your local bookstore and or library and picking up a copy of Dr. Laura Schlessinger's In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms. It is filled with a variety of womens situations and testimonies and best of all affirmation on stay at home mommying. Every time I feel down or need a little encouragement that what I'm doing is the best for my children and my situation I read a chapter. Good Luck and really look into the book idea it's such a great book.

User - posted on 05/18/2009

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oh and i forgot u only have them till 5 in my eyes then u can work u have so many years of working 2 come but dont miss out on our childends lifs first we cant get back

User - posted on 05/18/2009

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i dont know each 2 there own depends if u can afford 2 im a fulltime mom its hard at time they drive u crazy and never give u a min 2 your self lol but i wouldnt change it 4 da world i love watching them grow up and taking there first steps as well as there 1st everythin its greate 2 know my kids r so smart coz of me i teach them 99% of what they know (sorry im modest) if u can aford it i say go 4 it they grow up so fast and we only have them 4 5 years then of 2 school then before u know it they have there friends and its like stop mom your embassing me lol

Chelsy - posted on 05/18/2009

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I think you can swing it because if you sit down figure out the bills and extras (such as diapers, formula, wipes, baby food ect.) and your husband can pay the bills and the extras then it should be a problem. Also consider how much you would be spending on a daycare. Even if you have a family member that watches the kids for you thats still an extra child you are goin to be payin for. Also if your bringing home say $1200 amonth and daycare is taking $800-1000(were i live its 450-500 amonth) the its not like you have that 1200 anyway. So really your only lossing 200-400 amonth but also saving the money for child care. Anyhow hope that all makes sence. Good luck in your decision.

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You should stay home if you desire to, and you can swing it financially. I'd suggest continuing to work as long as you can before December, but take 100% of your income and put it in savings starting as soon as possible - that way you can see if it is possible to live on your husband's income alone. If you can, that's awesome, and you've even got an emergency fund built up for the added security. If you find you cannot make ends meet, its okay. I have an 8 month old and my husband and I both work. And once the economy improves, or your husband gets a raise, or whatever, you can go back and re-evaluate the work situation. Good luck!

Charlene - posted on 05/18/2009

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i had this problem at first i decided to stay at home as my partner works and i thout one of us should stay at home as i didnt like the idea of him having to go elsewhere with out his parents everyday.

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