Insight on Daughter and father that left her.

Chelsea - posted on 04/28/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 5; her real dad left us a little before she was two years old, she still see's his mother/father/and sister....He just moved out; but she knows him as Mr. Jason, she's see's him periodicaly, he'll stop in say hi to her; leave, and that's it. Josh came into our lives around her 3rd birthday and has been with us ever since, she insisted on calling him dad; and has been doing so for 2 + years now. Like I said she still see's his family; and knows them as Granny; pop-pop, and Aunt Jules, Josh and I had another daughter, and Lilly is starting to ask questions; why cant brooke come with me, can i call (josh's parents) grandmom and grandpop, so soon I am going to have to tell her the truth....I could go on for days with my concerns, my wish's, the pro's and cons...we had an unhealthy relationship, but you dont do that to a child, but at least she'll know that his family loves her and they stayed by her side...
ANY HELP or words of wisdom?!

6 Comments

View replies by

Annie - posted on 05/06/2009

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Take it from someone who was raised by two people that weren't my bio parents, a kid definately knows who their mom and dad are. And as long as the roles of mom and dad are covered it doesn't matter if they are bio or not. I certainly had a complicated family but they're great and it sounds like your little girl has one heck of a family to love and care for her as well! Awesome!!



Hopefully that will encourage you a bit! : )

Brittany - posted on 05/06/2009

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is your problem more about the new baby and how to explain to your daughter that they have separate family's. If your daughter's real father's family support you with your new baby too then she could probally call her sister's family the same things and be considered their family too. This way when the girls are older you can tell them both how much they were loved by so many people and explain it then and how it doesn't matter if they're blood or not. Also, as far as "why can't brooke go with me" you can just tell her that brooke is too little right now.

Chelsea - posted on 05/06/2009

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THanks; She does call Josh Daddy; because he is the only daddy that she has known; He left and has never came back...his family agrees and supports Lilly calling Josh daddy; which makes us happier, and they also "help out" and "worry" about our child together brooke; so they are great people... Thanks again!

Devon - posted on 04/30/2009

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it's great that his family is still involved with her. it's sad that he really doesn't want to be around and that isn't healthy for her. if i were you i would just let her call josh daddy. it seems like he has been more of a father to her than her real dad has. i wouldn't get all upset over it. just let her call him dad, because he pretty much is her dad. and if her real father's family gets upset over it just explain to them that josh has been there more for her then there son has and that is the way it is going to be and if they don't like it, they can leave the picture. because she will still have your family and josh's family that will love her unconditionaly. i have twin daughters who's father left when they were young and they are now 6 years old. they don't see him at all. i have been with this other guy for 6 years now and they call him daddy because he is the one that they have always seen and it doesn't bother me because he is more of a father to them. anyway, good luck and hope it works out well

Krystyl - posted on 04/28/2009

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Maybe she could call her jason "daddy jason"
and josh "daddy josh" ... assuming that they're all comfortable with this

Chelsea - posted on 04/28/2009

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His family is great with us; they call us, talk to us, I dont ask for money, if we really need help they help us, they pick her up when they can, she stay's the night everyother saturday; but when it comes time to tell her that her real dad is _____ and not Josh, I hope she realizes he loves her, and he's her dad! ______"s family is also going to tell lilly that Josh is her dad...and always will be!

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