Mom interfering with how u raise YOUR kids

Darminique - posted on 05/21/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Obviously you value your mother's opinions and advice, but sometimes I feel like she tries to take over and force her beliefs of raising children on me. She should just let me raise her by my own standards. Its gotten to the point where I feel like no matter what I do, it will never be right or good enough or the way she would have done it. Not only is she like that, but so is my grandmother and auntie. In fact, my mom has sort of slacked up and has accepted the fact that I may be young, but I am grown as well as smart. Yet, I still have to deal with this from other family members. Do I have the right attitude or should I just sit back and let them take over? Because that's obviously what they are trying to do. They use 2 make me feel like a bad mother who couldn't do anything right. Can anyone relate? Does anyone have similar experiences?

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Shalaina - posted on 05/21/2009

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You definitely have a right to be upset. I already told my husband that we are not letting either of our parents take charge on how we should raise our child (due in July!!!). They had their chance and now this is ours. Don't let them make you feel you are a bad mother, no one should feel that way. Just because you don't do it their way doesn't mean it is wrong! Be strong and stick to your guns. Be nice but firm and tell them they already had their children and that this is yours! Good luck and God Bless!

Shara - posted on 05/21/2009

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I can totaly relate. Mine problem is with my inlaws though. They act as if I am nothing being the mother of two babies under two, an MBA graduate, and a full time employee. They think I should take care of every aspect of children's needs, clean the house, cook the meals and so forth. But my husband is a recent law school graduate who doesn't have a job and we send the kids to daycare, so I think he should be able to help out around the house. They say he should be able to do whatever he wants and acts like he is so much better than me because he graduated from law school. They tend to forget I am the one who paid the two car payments, the mortgage and so forth so he could go to school. Be sides that you would think he curred cancer by the way they talk about him. After my rant there let me see if I can be of any help.



I would discuss with you mom how what she and others is affecting you. Let her know you are doing the best that you can and it would realy help if everyone would support you. (I had the same experience with my mom right after by second arrived. I was just taking her loving advice wrong. I was extremely sensative and thought she was criticizing everything I was doing. After I while I said "I am doing the best I can do and that is all I can do I may do it differently and maybe not even as good as you, but it is the best I can do." That then started a conversation that she was merly trying to provide advice and wasn't saying I was a bad mom or she knew best. So good luck I know it is tough, but people usually do mean well.

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