My 22 month old daughter is scared

Lisa - posted on 05/18/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I was in an abusive relationship with the birth father of my daughter. I was abused on several occasions while i was pregnant and left him before he had the chance to hurt my child. I was reguarlly verbally abused over the phone and went into early labour. my daughter was born over 6 weeks early. From a baby loud noises would often scare her and as she got older (around 6 mnths) she was petrified of birds, dogs and cats. Today she is still scared of some animals but now she screams at the sound of loud cars, busses, trucks and wakes squeeling at 6am when the rubbish truck drives down my street. I am very worried about her reactions and shes starting to flinch when someone raisers there voice. She is with me 24\7 7 days week. Can anyone please give me any advice.

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Laura - posted on 05/18/2009

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oh bless her! That must be really frustrating! The only thing I can suggest is just be stable, reassuring etc etc. To be honest I'm kind of in the dark, as like I said my kid's problems were due to what they witnessed, so in a way it was easier to target. It must be so hard and hopefully she willgrow out of it, I know that doesn't help in the meantime. The only other suggestion that has sprung to my brain is maybe enquire with your local social services (or childrens services) if they know of a group or a worker who specialises with children of domestic violence and how to deal with the effects, i don't know if that would help

Lisa - posted on 05/18/2009

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Thankyou and she interacts with heaps of other little kids her age and older. Ive asked her pediatrition why she's so scared and he belives its a result of me being scared while pregnant. I dont know what to think. Ive tryed to put her in day care but they tell me that they cant provide her with the amount of care that she requires. She has chronic astmah and has fitts as a result of an attack. Only authorised people can give her the medications she's on and every local daycare say they cant help.

Laura - posted on 05/18/2009

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hi, maybe talk to your health visitor or doctor? My children had problems with my ex who was also abusive but that was due to them witnessing his actions, I do believe that what happens during pregnancy does affect the baby, u say she is with you 24/7 but does she interact with other children at all? maybe a parent and baby group where yes it will be noisy but theres distractions as well, to help her confidence. If you are worried I would definitly talk to a professional as they would be able to have more experience with this. If you ever need to talk, message me, I hope everything improves. Good luck x

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