my 3 1/2 yr. old won

Valerie - posted on 05/21/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

29

5

3

she is like ADHD... (if i actually believed in that) she throws tantrums constantly and no fom of bribe or punishment seems to affect her. My loving nickname for her is "psycho" ... don't worry, it makes her laugh! BUT, WHAT DO I DO to stop the whining, crying and full-out tantrums???

11 Comments

View replies by

Shannon - posted on 05/21/2009

5

21

0

Just one more thing...if you do try the timeout technique and decide to implement it, be consistent no matter where you are. If you are at the store and she decides to act out after getting that warning, find a place for her to be in timeout. This will show her that no matter where you are, she cannot act out and you mean business. If you care what other people are thinking, just be comforted with the fact that you are being consistent with discipline no matter where you are, and you are not being aggressive or hostile toward your child, or letting them get away with misbehaving in public. Good luck!

Shannon - posted on 05/21/2009

5

21

0

I also have a 3 1/2 year old and they are wonderful at pushing just the right buttons to get a reaction from you. That's all that she is looking for...some attention or a reaction of some sort. My son is the EXACT same way. And, since he has an 8-month-old baby sister, he likes to yell really loud and wake her up on purpose. Here is what we have found to be THE TRICK for these situations...When he starts misbehaving or doing something that he is not supposed to be doing, we say, "Bryson, do not jump on the furniture." (Or whatever he's doing) to remind him that his behavior is not okay. If he does it again, we say "This is your warning. If you jump on the furniture again, you will sit in timeout." If he does it again, we put him directly into timeout (which is a corner in the hallway), get down to his level, and tell him that he is in timeout because he jumped on the furniture when we told him not to. Then we set the timer for 3 minutes, because that is how old he is. If he gets out, we put him back, don't say a word (because that is acknowledging his actions, which is what he's looking for), and then start the timer over again. When you first start this technique, it can be tiresome. But, eventually Bryson realized that timeout is not fun and he doesn't want to be there. So, now when we give him a warming, he usually stops before it even gets to the point of timeout. It is VERY effective in our house, and there is aggression or hostility. Just stay calm and don't let her get a reaction out of you. Hopefully timeout can be successful for you too! Good luck!

Valerie - posted on 05/21/2009

29

5

3

we eat 70% organic 15% natural, and 15% processed crap. Kylie: I do the same things that u mentioned an try to be as consistent as humanly possible. But the girl is relentless!! I do admit that i could give her more choices, i am slacking off on that a little.

Nikki - posted on 05/21/2009

26

8

1

Our children are around the same age so I feel your pain. I used to hate going to the grocery store with my son because it was so embarrasing when he threw tantrums. Being prepared and giving him options helped to alleviate some of his foul behaviours. Before we go into the store I talk to him about what I expect of him when we get in there. I also give him options, such as, would he like apples or oranges. I find that talking to him makes him feel like he has a hand in some decisions and inturn helps with his behavior. I wish I could help you more.

Valerie - posted on 05/21/2009

29

5

3

it makes complete sense, except that she is as stubborn as me!! OOPS. she is a very bright child and a determined litte bug. I have excellent luck with controlling my other 2 children but she still "flys off the handle" at least once an hour.

Kylie - posted on 05/21/2009

2,391

81

190

Be really aware of what you are feeding her. Try to keep her away from processed sugars and preservatives and see how she responds. Perhaps shes bored..try to keep her busy and active...get her running and jumping lots. When my child whinges or chucks a wobbly i tell her "don't whinge at me please, use your nice voice and i will help you" if she wont stop she gets one warning "stop now or i will take you to time out" if she flips out i pick her up and put her in her room, she gets 4 minuets for her age..if she is not calm and ready to come out i leave her longer i say "when you are calm and ready to be nice to mummy you can come out" by praising the good things she does and ignoring the bad behaviors and removing her from the room your in, it should teach her how to act to get what she wants. If my child starts kicking the walls or door of her room i go strait in there and look her in the eyes tell her angrliy its unacceptable we do not treat our home with such disrespect. She loves her house so this always stops her in her tracks.

Samantha - posted on 05/21/2009

179

68

30

Have you tried "redirecting her"? When she gets upset, steer her in another direction. ie...she gets upset because her picture doesn't look as good as....let's say your 6 year old. Try and distract her away from what "triggered" her by asking her to help you with something or another. I don't know if this makes sense...

Valerie - posted on 05/21/2009

29

5

3

if i try to put her in her room to calm down.. i'd have to lock the door, and i'm pretty sure she would freak out more from feeling trapped

Valerie - posted on 05/21/2009

29

5

3

i can't just ignore her cuz she is soo loud that no one else in the household can function while she is freaking out. Even my 6 yr old can hadle the stress of all, she will bawl for 45 min. till she gets a headache!

Nikki - posted on 05/21/2009

26

8

1

I agree with the first post. Let her cry it out or throw tantrums in her room until she cools down. I'm not sure about the ADHD, but since I've been working with children I have seen that some children do exhibit behaviours out of the norm. Whether ADHD is the problem or not, letting her calm down on her own should help. It will also help with from losing your cool.

Samantha - posted on 05/21/2009

179

68

30

I was always to to wait it out. Put them in their room to calm down. Eventually they will realize that no one is paying attention to them and they will just give up....we hope anyway. Good luck hun!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms