Ideas to help separation anxiety

Tammy - posted 4 days ago

Leslie fry, you say that you try not to accommodate the anxiety. Can you tell me what you do? My daughter has a total meltdown with crying and pain in her stomach to the point of throwing up.

Leslie - posted on 05/01/2013

I'm learning to not accommodate the anxiety as it then takes over. My 9 year old struggles and I wish I would have forced separation earlier.

Alyssa - posted on 05/22/2011

I have a 1 year old a 4 year old and a 5 year old all going through separation anxiety. I am finally getting my two oldest over it and it took me a while. But it was not the regular separation anxiety between child and mother. It is between brother and sister. You see my two oldest have never been separated so the first time they got separated it was hell on earth. But i struggled through it and now they are not so bad I just sent one of them at a time to their Nana's house for a week out of the month and soon they got over it but they still have their moments!!!

Kelly - posted on 07/17/2009

My son has been seeing a psychologist since he was four (he is now six). He goes about every two weeks. She does cognitive behavioral therapy. It helps a lot. Our insurance covers a good bit of it once we meet our deductible. Unfortunately, he has pretty severe separation anxiety and general anxiety disorder. Last fall, we had to take him to a psychiatrist and started him on medication. He still has bad spells, but they are less severe.



Some of the suggestions that we have received: (1) give her a picture of you to keep with her; (2) give her a worry stone or widget to keep in her pocket to touch or fidget with when she starts getting worried. Neither of these worked with my son. He was too afraid that he would lose them, but maybe they would work with your daughter. Jack's first therapist made a cardboard circle that he colored and she cut in half. He was supposed to take one half with him and I keep the other half with me. Again, it didn't work with my son, but that doesn't mean that it wouldn't help with your daughter.



One thing that has helped is talking with my son about what exactly he is afraid will happen. It turns out that he is afraid that I will die if he is not with me. So, we talk about all of the things that I do to stay safe.



My son's first therapist would read "Harold and the Purple Crayon" with Jack. The idea was to talk about each obstacle Harold faced and what Harold could do to over come it. I don't know how much this helped my son, but I don't think that it hurt. There are some other books out there that are about children who are afraid to be away from their parents but end up having a great adventure. You might look at some of the books about children starting kindergarten.



There is a pretty good book called something like The Everything Parents Guide to Children with Anxiety. I didn't read the whole thing but it made me feel better to have someone put in writing everything that my family was dealing with.



One thing that I will mention is that our pediatrician said that it is fairly common for a child's anxiety level to increase around age five. Hopefully, your daughter's will be shortlived Good luck.