Hello

Sylvia - posted on 12/16/2008

Hi Debbie,

My name is Sylvia. I am 32 years old and 3 years clean from stage 3a breast cancer. I was pregnant with my second child and the first was 2 when I was diagnosed. I am a single mother and I can tell you that if you choose to sit and think about what this disease can do to you it will only make you worse. I can't say it was easy but, I forced myself everyday to get up and do what needed to be done. I can't say my house was spotless or my daughter had the healthiest of dinners but, I knew that it was one more day that I took back from this disease. I felt that this disease took enough and I wasn't going to let it take anymore. My kids gave me the strength to fight this. I unfortunately still have a lot of problems from the effects of the chemo and it hasn't been an easy fight. I tell myself that I will be there to see my grandkids. I found that if you keep yourself busy it will help. I tried to not research the disease since the first time I did the volumes of information scared me. My biggest regret was not explaining things to my daughter. That has since come back to haunt me. I hope it helps and if you would like to talk please send a message. Good Luck and you will be in my prayers

Nichole - posted on 12/02/2008

Hi Debbie. My breast cancer is stage 3 and my one child is quite young, so I have not walked in your shoes. As I have never been where you are, I don't know if what I'm going to say is helpful, but here it goes. First off, don't lose hope that you can beat this disease. There are hundreds if not thousands of stories out there of people who have fully recovered from ALL varieties of stage 4 cancer. These stories are written up in the medical literature - it's not that doctors aren't aware of them, just that they're very rare. Science doesn't understand the mechanisms behind it, but there it is. If it can happen to someone else, it can happen to you. Second, if your cancer turns out to be one that cannot be reversed, know that it's possible to live a quality life for a very long time alongside cancer. My surgeon knows of a woman who lived well for more than 20 years with metastatic cancer. Every couple of years it would recur; she would fight it with radiation; it would subside. I'm reading a great book called "Happiness in a Storm" written by a female physician (Wendy S. Harpham) with recurrent lymphoma, who's been living with cancer on and off for about 20 years. It's about finding your centre and living a happy life in the shadow of a life-threatening disease. Her quality of life comes and goes, and she does the best with what she has. I've found it quite an uplifting read. Finally, whatever your situation, there are a few really good resources out there about how to ensure open communication with your kids and ensure their needs continue to be met while dealing with a life-threatening illness. I've found some very worthwhile reading (both books & web sites), and I suspect if my kids were older it would be even more relevant.

My fingers are crossed for you.

Danielle - posted on 11/29/2008

Hi, I'm 32 and have been in treatment for breast cancer for 2 years. I have 2 pre-school kids and was diagnosed months after the birth of my daughter.
My cancer was "locally advanced" the tumor was 11 cm! After my surgery (dbl masectomy) my Onc told me that out of the 27 lymph knodes removed 21 were cancer.
Then then scanned me and found a legion on my spine that was not there 6 months earlier and said it's stage 4.
5 months later I finally got a bone biopsy done to miracullously find it negative for cancer! I'm still in chemo (herceptin) and my Onc. says that she still considers me as stage 4 so I can get it indefinitely. But in my mind I'm in remission. Who knows only time will tell!
In the meantime I've adopted a macrobiotic lifestyle and completely changed my life, and feeling pretty great!
What I'm saying though , is I've been in the stage 4 world, so I can somewhat relate to how you may be feeling, especially with having little kids.
If you would like to talk, please message me.
Sending love!

Beth - posted on 11/29/2008

Hi Debbie, My name isBeth. I also have breast cancer, but stage 2a. I don't know quit what your feeling, but i have 3 little girls at home and it is the scariest feeling in the world that this could take me from them. I am having a dbl. mastectomy soon and am nervouse about that, but I know it is the right thing to do, Have you been diagnosed before to this horriable little disease? I am 31 and first time diagnosed. I have ILC. Any way I dont really have any advice except that the Lord will carry you through this if you let him. I am always here just to listen if you need to talk. Your family will be in my prayers.