2nd Child

Mschelseamac - posted on 05/25/2009

It scares me out of my mind to go through the PPD again. Really I'm not sure if I'm entirely over it and my Son is 13 months. I still have moments where I feel sooo useless for him I'm sorry he got stuck with me for a Mommy. The last thing I want is to go through it again when my 1st is older and realizes Mommy is a total nervous wreck and juggling two children.



Even my Husband thinks having a 2nd would be a bad idea incase I got as bad as I did this time around. Tonight he said he would take a second job just so he wouldn't have to be around the insanity a 2nd time. He's been really supportive of me through everything, but he was near breaking a couple times and I don't know what I would do if that ever happened.



Chances are I'll have one Son, he'll be loved to pieces. He can have all the friends he wants sleep over or come to visit. As for a sibling, unless there is a WHOOPS it's not in the cards.

Macy - posted on 05/21/2009

I had PPD with all three of my children. I even get it during my pregnancy and afterwards. My first wasn't too bad and didn't last more than 3 months. But my second was the worst. I cried a lot and couldn't handle anything. Luckily my Mom took my baby at night most of the time so I could sleep. I tried breast feeding with my first two for only a few days and decided it was better for me if I had help and didn't have to do all the feedings. On my third baby I got PPD pretty bad before I had him. It got to the point I had suicidal thoughts. Luckily I had a great support system with my family and my wonderful husband. I realize now that I needed a better doctor who actually listened to me and what I was going through. My husband was great through all of this and was very understanding. He doesn't want to have any more kids and go through that experience again. I don't blame him and I kind of don't either. Part of me still wants one more but most days I am just fine with three. I'm realizing that I would rather be more sane to care for my other three than risk going off the deep end again with another one. I feel so blessed to have been able to have three with the depression. I still struggle with depression and I am on medication for it. For those of you who are worried about having more I would say you need to weigh the pros verses the cons and how bad you want another one. If you have great support at home from family and friends and get a really good doctor I would say you can do it. Now that you now how you might be after the baby is born you can be more prepared to handle it. Good luck to all of you. I know it is hard. Don't ever feel like you are a bad mom because of the depression. Only you know your limits and what you can handle. Just know you are not alone and many of us suffer the same way you do.

Iva - posted on 05/18/2009

My second is a little girl that was born three weeks premature and is now five weeks old today. She is always wanting to be held and my husband is afraid to hold her because he doesn't want to hurt her- because girls are fragile. I am nursing her right now, though I still pump for when we go out into public places that I don't feel comfortable or able to nurse. I am still doing must of the feedings.. I just talked to my husband and asked him to help me out more than what he has because I really don't want the circumstances to cause the PPD. You see, my husband and I were not together when we had our son, Logan. This is all new to him, to have to be a full time dad to a newborn.

Iva - posted on 05/18/2009

I know your worries Joan. I had ppd with my first child at 3 months. I knew that I had a good chance of having it because I had been through depression before I even got pregnant. Though I had been off my meds for about three years before I got pregnant, it still happened to me. I was going through a custody battle about the time that I noticed that I had ppd. Though I am married to the father of of first child and we are for the most part happy; I am so afraid that I am going to have it again. I am not sure how I will be able to handle to children with feeling like that all over again.

Elaine - posted on 05/06/2009

I feel your pain Heidi! You are deffinately not alone. I once wanted to throw in the towel on being a mother in the beginning as well and one night I was trying to BF him and my nipples were cracked, bleeding and had blisters all over them and I just started to cry infront of my mother and told her that I never wanted this, that I never ever wanted to be a mother and thought this was the worst job in the world to have and why people loved it was beyond me! But things have changed greatly since then and now I cannot wait for my next one!

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, it will just seem so out of reach at times, but remember to rest, eat well, get some fresh air and talk to anyone who you feel secure with about anything...even your son, they may not understand but they love to listen to your voice even if you cry.

I wish you the best of luck with a counselor, they are excellent and I wish I would have seen one in the beginning!

Don't be shy to post an update on how things go, or if you need someone to talk to don't be shy to add me as a friend.

I wish you all the best and congrats on becoming a mother!

Heidi - posted on 05/06/2009

I'm currently suffering from PPD. My son is 6 weeks old now and is a great baby, but I have become perfectionistic on how to feed him etc. and when the feeding schedule doesn't work out the way I hope it does, I break down. I too worry about having another child and at this point do not feel I will have another one. one seems enough.
yesterday evening I fell apart when my mom got defensive about some advice on caring for my little one and I left the house for about 2 hours, just driving around and crying. I then came home and started saying I was "done with being a mom". I then took 2 vicodins and a benadryl to go to sleep. I didn't wake up for 12 hours. its been a struggle for me ever since I got pregnant really. I had alot of back pain and nausea for most of my pregnancy. My labor epidural didn't work. I lost alot of blood to the point of needing a transfusion. had a third degree tear. my breast milk was not enough for my son so as to the fact he didn't sleep very well a fussed for 2 weeks straight. I finally had to give him formula. I felt very guilty for this. He now struggles with constipation and reflux and eczema which could be from the formula. i've tried using nutramigen but he refuses to eat it. I can't seem to fix this problem and its driving me crazy. I have seen a doc and i'm on antidepressnats, but its not helping. I'm going to see a counselor next week. I hope that this gets better soon.

Elaine - posted on 05/05/2009

I too, suffered PPD after my first child and am due July 13th for the 2nd. I would guess it lasted about 6-8mths for me. The most severe for me was always being paranoid that someone would be listening in on me, or paranoid of just unexpected visitors! I dont know how many times I hid from the door or dreaded going out for a walk because I would see someone I would know and did not want to talk to anyone. My spouse was really supportive though and understood and was there for me in every way which really helped. I think I really got depressed because I wanted to have an all natural birth, no drugs and no interventions and I ended up being induced without any drugs except for gas, I was checked all the time, had that stupid heart monitor on all the time, no sympathy from the staff, and wasn't aloud to walk around to help make the labour move more quickly. By the time I pushed for over 2hrs I was blacking out and did not know where I was anymore and told my mom to get the Doc in there ASAP!

I had to have an emerg c-section and the the recovery was extremely painful and was also infected for over 4mths. I also was unsucessful in breastfeeding my son and he lost almost an entire pount of weight after birth within 10 days. I tried everything to be sucessful with BF, pumping before and after each feeding, I took fenugreek and blessed thistle as well as the Mothers Milk tea. I finally gave in at 2mths after constant BF, pumping and asked my doc for a perscription which did not help either. After 3mths I gave up on BF all together and just went total formula and I felt like such a failure!

I also had fits of anger for no reason at all, I would be angry at myself or at my boyfriend for nothing, but never felt anger towards my son which was a relief. It also did not help having my MIL being the first time grandmother and feeling like she had to tell me how to do things and I am the type of person who hates it when people make me feel like I am incompetent in something I know I am doing well with.

Wow, sorry for writing so much! I finally got threw my depression though when I really started to talk more openly with my boyfriend about everything and did not hold anything back and he would listen and never made me feel bad! It was such a relief and my parents are very good and understanding so that was also really nice. But I think the best thing for me was getting out of the house and taking a walk with my son when it was nice out and started to not care what people had to say and really started to be parent I wanted to be (attachment parenting is what I like) and I started to get better.

I hope this new one I wont suffer from it, however I am preparing myself emotionally this time and hope things work out better than they did for my first.

Jessica - posted on 05/02/2009

Hi ladies. I'm a mom of 4. With my first I had slight PPD. With my second it was worst. With my 3rd I didn't have it at all. And my 4th child is a step child. My advice to you is to make sure your support people know that you did have it before. And have your spouse be sensitive to it too. Also discuss your fears with your doctor. With my second child I was unable to breastfeed. It just brought me down. And deciding that was one of the darkest times in motherhood for me. Once I got over that and started my meds things were back to normal. But if it wasn't the support from family and friends and my husband I don't know what I would have done.

Chantel - posted on 05/01/2009

Hi Everyone! My name is Chantel and I had depression on my first to the point where I threw up all the time because I was crying so much and still couldn't stop crying to do that. My husband was ready to commit me to a hospital. I almost never made it but I am very happy to say that I just had my second child and I found this one great. I didn't experience any signs of depression at all. He is 17 months and I enjoy each and every day. I actually feel guilty towards my oldest because it didn't come so easy for me. I hope that any one that tries for the second gets the experience I had this time around.

Amy - posted on 04/27/2009

I've been wondering the same thing. I'm pregnant for the 2nd time, with my 3rd child, I had twins the first time, and had PPD. I'm wondering if I'm going to have it again this time, or if a lot of it was just being overwhelmed with twins, losing my job, not being able to breastfeed, etc.



I guess I'll be the experiment and let y'all know in 7 months!

Angela - posted on 04/21/2009

I myself am terrified also to have a second child. My depression was really bad after my daughter was born, Im just starting to feel myself again and she's now 16 months. Im scared that it will be worse the second time around and for right now a second child for me is out of the question lol. I figure if Im destined to have another child I'll know when the time comes, other than that Im still taking things one day at a time