Is it normal to feel so lonely?

Diane - posted on 07/19/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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A little over two weeks ago I had my first child, a boy. :) But since then, I have been struggling with depression and crying spells as the day progresses into evening. I'm nervous to talk to my doctor about it but i know that I probably should. Before I found out I was pregnant, I was on anti-anxiety medication along with a low doses of anti-depression medication. I suffered from anxiety and from insomnia mostly because of my profession as a police officer. What I feel now is complete and utter overwhelming feelings. I cry at the thought of being alone. My boyfriend hasn't yet returned to work but I fear it and struggle when he isn't in the bedroom with me and the baby. I only feel comforted when someone is near me and the baby, otherwise I feel so lonely and begin to cry. I don't know how to overcome this because this is my boyfriend's last week before he returns to working and I have just 3 weeks left before I also return.



I know that I'm sleep deprived because my little man wont sleep much at nights. I'm also frustrated because he refuses to get into a routine with eating. I breastfeed and formula feed, mostly because I don't have a large supply of milk :(, but he has turned into a cluster feeder which stresses me out more.



Overall, I just don't know how to get over this hurdle i'm facing with these feelings of loneliness and sadness when right now, I should be happy because my son is finally here. I feel horrible because I know my little angel can sense me stressed, and I hate that. I only want the best for him. I just need to know i'm not the only one out there who feels this way.

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Mary Anne - posted on 09/12/2013

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I know how you are feeling. I had my son 11 weeks ago and 2 days after he was born all hell broke loose. I started to cry everyday over anything. All anyone had to say was "how are you doing?" and the waterworks would start. I get very sad and extremely lonely when my 11 year old daughter goes to school and my husband leaves for work. I had been feeling really sick since he was born also and found out 10 weeks later it was my gall bladder and it needed to come out. So on top of having surgery and post partum depression I am afraid I will never feel normal again. I don't even like to leave my house anymore. My husband wants to go to his visit his family 5 hours away and I am petrified. I don't know why I cant get back on my feet, but I am desperate to feel better. I am tired of the crying, anxiety, panic and lonely feeling. I want it to stop.

Selva - posted on 08/09/2011

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I also suffered from depression, but it was the anxiety that was the worst. I found it crippling, while having anxiety attacks it was like be unable to function!!! Please go to your doctor and they'll be able to direct you in the right direction, it might not work at first, it didn't for me, it took several goes to get the medication right.
Try not to feel guilty about what is happening to you (I know first hand it's easy to say!!) it takes time to get better (for me over 3 years) but you will!!! Your little boy won't remember these dark days, I didn't bond with my daughter to start with and I used to beat myself up about it, but she really doesn't seem to be affected by it.
As for the lonliness, ge tout as much as you can, as hard as it is. There are many groups to go to, child centres to visit, just get out there and find them, they helped me, and one day you'll just realise things aren't bad and you can get better. Good luck xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hannah - posted on 07/25/2011

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This is relatively normal. Calm down. You are freaking yourself out, its all you girl. I had the same feelings after my daughter was born. There is no easy out, do whats right for you and do not hesitate. Go to a homeopathic doctor, they treat the whole person not just your symptoms. Just make good choices it is not as hard as you think it is.

Stacy - posted on 07/25/2011

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I had the same feeling of not wanting to be alone. I cried all the time after having my first kid. I hated when my husband went back to work. I stayed at my mom's house for the first month. I did talk to the doctors and found out I had postpartum depression and anxiety. Once we found the right medication that worked for me, I felt so much better. Also, going for walks provided some relief. I hope you are feeling better. If you haven't talked to your doctor and still feel the same, you probably should. Don't feel nervous or bad about it.

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