Diane - posted on 07/19/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )
A little over two weeks ago I had my first child, a boy. :) But since then, I have been struggling with depression and crying spells as the day progresses into evening. I'm nervous to talk to my doctor about it but i know that I probably should. Before I found out I was pregnant, I was on anti-anxiety medication along with a low doses of anti-depression medication. I suffered from anxiety and from insomnia mostly because of my profession as a police officer. What I feel now is complete and utter overwhelming feelings. I cry at the thought of being alone. My boyfriend hasn't yet returned to work but I fear it and struggle when he isn't in the bedroom with me and the baby. I only feel comforted when someone is near me and the baby, otherwise I feel so lonely and begin to cry. I don't know how to overcome this because this is my boyfriend's last week before he returns to working and I have just 3 weeks left before I also return.
I know that I'm sleep deprived because my little man wont sleep much at nights. I'm also frustrated because he refuses to get into a routine with eating. I breastfeed and formula feed, mostly because I don't have a large supply of milk :(, but he has turned into a cluster feeder which stresses me out more.
Overall, I just don't know how to get over this hurdle i'm facing with these feelings of loneliness and sadness when right now, I should be happy because my son is finally here. I feel horrible because I know my little angel can sense me stressed, and I hate that. I only want the best for him. I just need to know i'm not the only one out there who feels this way.