9 weeks later, and I'm more of a basket case

Melony - posted on 12/21/2010

Im sorry. I lost my baby in April only 2 days after i found out. I also did ok for a few days because i too have two kids (2&3) so i had to get out of bed. Then went thru what you are and was mad and upset. Then agian i was ok. So i dont know if it is normal but i had the same feelings as you. Now would have been my due date and just so you know its hard again but it helps that i know it will get better. I also dont know if i want to try for more kids just because i am scared that it would happen again and i dont want to go thru this again but my husband tells me if it happens it happens. I say thats easy for them to say.I hope this helps to know at least I feel the same way as you do. Your not alone.

Lacyn - posted on 12/13/2010

it's completely normal. things will get worse before they get better. my advice, since you already have other children, you really should seek help. i refused to do so and i ended up trying to commit suicide on my daughter's grave. if you're not okay, your children won't be either.

Megan - posted on 11/23/2010

I am 25 and I have lost 2 babies my first in 2005 he was a still born. I still have problems with the loss of him to this day. What helped me greive with him we named him Gabriel we had a funneral and got him creamated, we also got neclaces with some of his ashes put in them. Then 3 yrs later i was pregnant again My son is now 3yrs old but even this was a difficult time for my husband and i b/c Jacob was 3 months early. We were told he would not survive as he was only given a 5% chance but he fought and is healthy today. Now my 3rd was a miscarriage on 11/12/10. I to felt like i was going to be ok i felt this huge relief when i passed the baby come over me and thought i am going to be okay. Now almost a week and a hlf later i too hate every pregnant women i see ( much like when i lost Gabriel) and i too count how many weeks i should. All i want to do is try again i feel sooo empty and i don't know how to fill that void. Yes i have my son Jacob still and he helps keep my mind off of everything but before i go to bed evert night i think about what could have been. Just hang in there and listen to your body if you need to talk to your doctor then do it don't let it get worse. If you want to talk more you can message me.

Mel - posted on 11/10/2010

wishing you the best of luck!!

Davie - posted on 11/09/2010

I am so sorry to read this, and I am sorry for your loss. I lost my son at 24 weeks after a placental abruption. This was on 10/22/10. My sister is pregnant...we were 6 weeks apart too. I am 3 weeks out from my loss and I feel like it is getting harder too. I have the same thoughts of where I should be now and I am not looking forward to my due date. Each day brings new worries and fears, but I try to make it though each day and try not to worry about the next til I get there. I find that focusing on my son, Alex, he is 6 has helped me remember that he needs me. He needs me to deal with my grief and live for him. I am also meeting with a counselor soon. I am hoping that will help too. Please feel free to message me if you want to talk. Love and support your way.

Mel - posted on 11/07/2010

When the next one comes, Think they would not be here if it wasn't for the loss of your other baby..

I know how you feel I was due this New Years eve. and can't stop thinking how pregnant I should be. We lost our baby as he was diagnosed with spina bifida and decided not to go on.. I to am a basket case right now!!

Jennifer - posted on 07/19/2009

Thank you both so much. It really helps to have people who know what you are going through. We started trying again right away, because I only have a small window of time that we can get pregnant right now. My husband is getting ready to have surgery in a few months, and last time he had this surgery we couldn't be intimate for almost 2 yrs, it was to painful for him, because of how they have to cut his stomach open. So I have until the day of surgery to get pregnant, or that's it we are done for good.

Ashleigh - posted on 07/17/2009

I know exactly how you feel. I miscarried at 11 and a half weeks and I was the same way. At first I did pretty good with accepting the whole thing, but lately its been really hard on me. Also, all my friends are pregnant, and i mean everyone. Even my sister is pregnant, and 2 of my friends have the same due date I had. I think of things like that too, oh I would have just found out what im having and I would have a cute belly starting. I think the hardest is that other people think you are over it when you really aren't. I just keep trying to tell myself that things always happen for a reason, even if it is something really hard to go through at the time. Im really happy I found your post, you have no idea how happy it has made me to see that it is okay to continue to grieve. I think for us who have miscarriages we will never forget, but I think time will heal the wound somewhat, especially when we have other children. When are you planning to try again? We aren't until around November, when the baby was going to be born. Hope I could help, and you can message me anytime :)

Meredith - posted on 07/15/2009

I am so sorry for your lose. I had a miscarriage in Dec 2007 and I still have bad days. I was blessed to get pregnant right away but scared to death because it wasn't planned and I was worried something would happen again. But he is now a very healthy 9 month old :) and I couldn't be happier to have the addition to our family. But I still miss my little angel....My baby boy would have turned one in June 2009 :(. Although it got easier for me in time, I will never forget and I still miss him dearly. You are just going through the grieving process but it is different for everyone. Take time for yourself and allow yourself to grieve. It can't hurt to talk to your Dr. I stayed in contact with mine, they can be very helpful and made me feel less crazy for what I was feeling. Only people that have been through it really understand. I remember seeing pregnant people and working with someone who had a very close due date to my angel and it killed me. My heart goes out to you. It will get easier. I am here if you ever need to talk. Hugs Meredith