am i stupid/???

Tiffandmat - posted on 01/08/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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i found the book hat i was recording info in for my first pregnancy which i lost my triplets on valentines day of 08. now i cant seem to bring myself to throw it out and am feeling stupid about having it here as it is coming up a year since i lost them and i have another beautiful bundle of joy due in 2 months. am i stupid for not wanting to????????

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Robin - posted on 01/20/2009

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Omg of course not.  I lost a baby to SIDS 13 years ago and still have her memory box.  I wouldn't ever part with it and if my house was ever on fire and everyone was out it would be the one thing I would grab.  I also have had a couple miscarriages and still have each of my pregnancy calendars from them, with ultrasound pics and everything.  It's completely normal to keep these babies with us forever.

Jessica - posted on 01/20/2009

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No way. I lost two babies last year and I have a full journal about them and that journey. I still write in it every day because its good to get it on paper. It is a hard experience. I still have all the u/s pictures from both and we are going to release balloons on our due date. Don't feel stupid, I have angels and all sorts of mementos from both losses around my house. Best wishes with your new baby!!

Kelly - posted on 01/20/2009

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no ur not. my daughter was born sleeping. and ive kept allsorts of things,including a normal diary with dates of my midwife and wen i found out i was having a daughter.All ur doing is keepin something that reminds u of something that was amajor part of ur life and something that u loved. so wats wrong with that!!!

Melissa - posted on 01/19/2009

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no its normal you want something to remember your angels i say keep it in a safe spot om sorry to hear about your loss and also congrats on your lil gift due very soon

Estha - posted on 01/17/2009

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You hold on to that book.  Even tho you didn't carry those babies to full-term, they were and still are a part of you.  Hold on to all the memories that you have of your children that are in heaven.  Just because you have another bundle arriving soon, your other babies can never be replaced.  Each one is an individual and unique unto itself.  Hold on and rejoice in the goodness of our Lord.  Hang on to your mementos.  And no, you're not stupid or crazy for wanting to keep it.  I kept mine and it's been over 3 yrs ago since I lost my little girl and I now have a beautiful son that was conceived four months after we lost her.

Jennifer - posted on 01/17/2009

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Not stupid at all. I still have the written version of what happened with my losses. I felt that it was important to remember all of the details, even years and years down the road when my memories fade. It's been MANY years now and I have my Angel's birth stories and my Angel's on earth's birth stories. :)

They will always be a part of you and keeping the book will help you remember even the smallest of details.

Anneke - posted on 01/16/2009

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18december 2001 i lost my baby... it has been seven years and i still have the sonar picture in my wallet and the son tears inheaven-eric clapton still makes me cry....... YOU ARE NOT STUPID YOU ARE A MOTHER!!!!!

[deleted account]

Tiff, I lost my first child back in '96. He was a full-term still born due on Valentine's Day, too. I still have the clothes he was brought to me in. I have them in a fire proof safe. I will never get rid of them - along with my pregnancy diary, too.

My second child is 11 years old and she was told about her brother from the day she was born. She knows her daddy and I have two kids. One is perfect and the second is pretty darn close to being perfect! :-)

The grieving takes longer for some than others, but don't throw anything away until you are absolutely sure you want to.

These three precious babies were part of you and this is something you will never forget. Don't feel stupid about keeping this stuff.

I felt that this was the only stuff of Berkley's that I would have. I wouldn't have a Kindergarten graduation photo. There would be no prom picutures, but I will keep what I do have.

Congrats on the new baby! I hope all is going well for this pregnancy! Keep me posted!

Best wishes!

Jill

Jennifer - posted on 01/10/2009

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no never dismiss your feelings as silly, i lost my 2nd baby a little boy to co tdeath at 6months and i let his big sister down so badly because i had a breakdown that lead to her dad winning custody, i have now gone on to have 2 beautiful boys however i find myself  feeling like i have betrayed him now i have learned to smile again. when it is right for you to let go you will know i promise. goodluck with your next precious one. x

Mona - posted on 01/10/2009

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Not at all my lil aaron was stil born 6 years ago n i have everything from when i pregant with him to this year



 

Nicole - posted on 01/09/2009

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No way do what you need to do to get through. I lost my Ella almost 3 years ago and I did crazy things (and still do) to cope it's life.

Shonece - posted on 01/09/2009

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I don't think so. I lost a single pregnancy and had i done a book like that, i know i wi=ould still have it(& my miscarriage was 11 yrs ago)..

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