burying stillborn baby

Sueellenholmes - posted on 12/14/2012

How about:

"Born in God's Arms on [date]"

or:

"We held you in our arms for a moment,
We hold you in our hearts forever"

or the shorter version of that:

"In our arms for a moment,
In our hearts forever"

Gale Gautier - posted on 11/19/2012

Sarah, your son's headstone sounds just perfect! I love the image of Jesus holding an angel baby. When it is finished you should post a picture.

Sarah - posted on 11/18/2012

I felt the same need for my sons headstone to be perfect so much so it has taken me almost 15 years to choose what to have on his headstone. but i have finally chosen to put the verse. The lord watches between me and thee when we are absent one from another. it will have his name and date of birth death above that it will read born into the kingdom of heaven.... it will also have a image of Jesus holding a angel baby and hands in a heart patter with his tiny golden feet prints. I finally feel that this is the perfect stone to display my feelings for my son.

Gale Gautier - posted on 11/14/2012

I put a foot stone with baby booties on the stone. You are not crazy! I think moms of stillborn babies sometimes feel crazy because noone else realy understands us. Please accept my sympathy on the loss of your precious Elena. I have a blog about stillbirth called Fitts Family Stillbirths: 37 Years Later on blogspot.com. I tell it like it is to live as a stillbirth mom for the past 37 years. I am a retired teacher who is grateful to the internet so moms can help moms.



Gale Fitts

Mother of 2 stillborn children

Brandi - posted on 10/29/2012

I think an angel on the stone with the words "always watching from above" would be nice.

Amelia - posted on 10/27/2012

i also recently had my angel baby boy 3 weeks ago 3rd oct 2012, we have had the burial and i have been up today and placed a small perimeter around to section it off and make him a little garden, my other 4 children have each bought things and placed them on the grave but it just doesnt look right without a stone,we were debating on getting a cross made with a plaque but i want a stone when we can afford it but havnt seen the one i want yet and trying to figure out what to have inscribed is hard .

Kim - posted on 10/22/2012

I felt the same way. I wanted our little girl's to be perfect for her. Our little girl was born sleeping 2 weeks ago. We went last week & picked out her headstone. Hers is shaped like a heart & says "Always in our hearts Marley Elaine Harper Born with the Angels Oct. 9, 2012. Sweet Dreams Precious Angel. We paid a little extra to have the bottom smooth so we could add infant daughter of & mine & my husband's name.

Andi - posted on 08/19/2012

Our first child, Sienna Rose, was born sleeping and would have turned 5 last July. She is buried in a lawn near her grandfather and my husband and I will be with her when our times come. We included her name and date of birth, beloved daughter of.... And below is written 'step softly, a dream lies here' which still brings a tear to the eye. Included is a rose picture and a teddy bear and when we visit with her sister Paige, and brother Lawson, I read what is written and they give her rose or teddy a pat when saying goodbye. We are proud of what we managed to do upon here passing, visit her regularly and keep her memory alive with he siblings.

Natasha - posted on 08/14/2012

Our daughter Synnovea Eryn was still born. We put a small headstone in a rose granite. It had a little girl on it, and the words were "Planted on Earth to Bud in Heaven." In Loving Memory!! It helps to see that every time I see the headstone

Nicole - posted on 07/14/2012

That's exactly what we are going through and what we are thinking too. Just looking for some other idea's of what we can say that would describe all the emotions and torment we go through everyday missing our little angel.

Susan - posted on 05/09/2010

My daugther was born sleeping Last year in Feb. We havent gotten her headstone yet because of financial reasons, but we are getting her a Heart Shaped headston that says her name and birth/deathdate on it and we want it to say "Our Precious Angel". Or something like that. But it will come to you in time.

Debbie - posted on 04/28/2010

My husband drew a lovely picture for our son's tombstone.I lucked out because he made these decisions knowing how much I hate the thought. We are also having "Some dream of angels, we held one in our arms" inscribed.

Lee - posted on 03/11/2010

we got one engraved with winnie the pooh on one side. and a little angel baby on the other.underneath her birth and death dates we wrote "Our Special Angel"

Jennifer - posted on 01/11/2010

I couldn't mentally handle burying my little girl. I instead had her cremated and put in a keepsake necklace that I wear all the time so I can keep her close to me at all times. I might get a memorial stone later on. I just couldn't handle not being closer to her 24/7.

Antigone - posted on 01/11/2010

throughout my pregnancy my four year old daughter would insist that it would be a girl and we would name her Flower. We would smile and think how cute she was. When i was a week past my due date we lost the heartbeat and I gave birth to a beautiful, perfect 8 Lb. girl. We named her Flower.


Sept. 18, 2003
"It was a girl and we named her Flower"

I included the date because she died on my birthday.

Donna - posted on 01/02/2010

I was told half way through my pregnancy that my son could not survive outside of the womb for more than a few hours. My son was born at 20 weeks and died during the birthing process back in 2000. Unfortunately my husband felt unable to deal with this situation and choose to cope with the loss by blocking it out this meant that whilst he did his best to support me in my grief I had to make all the decisions by myself. I was (and still am) annoyed that the medical authorities didnt tell me that if I had held on for one more week (21 weeks) I would have been issued with a birth and death certificate for my son. As it now stands the only marker that my son ever existed is his headstone. I had my son cremated and then his ashes buried on the date of his expected birth date. Since there is no other record of my son I felt it was important that the information be noted somewhere that he did in fact exist even if only in the womb. My sons headstone reads:



Lesley Vernon Shephard

01-04-2000

Son of Donna and Mark

Brother to Emily and Jack



A little flower, lent not given,

To bud on earth and bloom in heaven.

Kerrin - posted on 01/02/2010

I'm sorry but we chose to have our daughter cremated & her ashes scattered over the lovely memorial lake so we didn't have to worry about a headstone. I did however have a friend who lost her daughter & got stuck with what to put on her stone. She ended up using a couple of lines of the lovely lil poem I'd written for her (which made me feel a lil sad but honored at the same time that she chose that).
I think we just all know what's right when we see it, feel it, read it or decide it. We've got no one else to please with any of the decisions so if it feels right for mum & dad, it's the right thing.

Valerie - posted on 11/04/2009

My husband and I are also looking for the "perfect" headstone. We lost our precious sweet baby girl when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant due to a car accident. I was just 2 weeks shy of delivering before the trauma to the stomach. We so badly wish for a headstone at the burial site, but cannot do anything until the insurance situation gets worked out. But we are looking for ideas as well.

Yvonne - posted on 09/08/2009

I wish I could give you some advice. My husband and I just buried our son, Jaxon, July 18 of this year. We haven't found a headstone just right. He just says whatever makes me happy, but nothing seems good enough. In good time, I'm sure we both will figure out what is best.

Virginia - posted on 08/28/2009

I had both my babies cremated but on their urns it says "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep." I thought it to be appropriate since they were both born sleeping.

Etta - posted on 06/03/2009

Thank you all for your wonderful comments. It makes me feel so great that I am not alone in this! This memorial day we went up to the cemetary and I just decorated Elena's grave with beautiful flowers and we took pictures with all of our children together. I was ok because I realized it might take me some time to find the right headstone. It also gave me comfort to see another small headstone by my husbands grandmother. It was just a small rock with "baby boy Emmett" 1920 on it. I felt a lot of kinship with this woman. It was actually a great day. And the best part was that I got to be close to my baby again.

Lindsey - posted on 06/02/2009

We put:
William Edward Hill
9-3-03
Our Precious Gift

Louisa - posted on 05/27/2009

My son Toby was still born at 38 weeks. We waited nearly a year as I did not know what to do with his ashes. We had his ashes buried in our local churchyard, we always call it "his stone" and just had his name and his date of birth and the words "Born Asleep". I miss and think about him every day. What is right for you maybe not right for someone else. Do and write what is right for you. With love Lou XX

Karen - posted on 05/24/2009

Rebecca...I feel the same way about Michael and Matthew's headstone. As lovely as it is, I despise it. They shouldn't be there...I wanted them so badly!!! Eleven years later and the grief hits me like a brick sometimes. When I go to place something on their grave I never know how bad the roller coaster ride will be. Sigh.

Karen - posted on 05/24/2009

For Michael and Matthew I used a headstone that fits into the ground and put the date they were born, even though they were stillborn. I had them buried together since they were so small so on their headstone is both names and their birth/death date. On both corners of the headstone (at the top) I had an angel carrying a baby carved into the granite. For me, this was perfect. :0) Bless you dear...

Kerstin - posted on 05/15/2009

Your feeling that it's need to be perfect is normal and to be expected. After losing a baby I think we tend to feel we can't do much for them but then things we can, like choosing a headstone has to be perfect. My daughter Jenna was born at 38 1/2 weeks and lived for 6 days - that was five years ago. We chose a butterfly and Jesus holding a baby for her headstone. We also put Forever in our hearts her name and dates. It was perfect for us...you must chose what gives you peace. So sorry for your loss.

Amanda - posted on 05/15/2009

My son Lachlan is buried in a lawn cemetery so he has a plaque which reads



"Lachlan James Harper, born sleeping 14th April 2002, adored son of Peter and Amanda, loved baby brother of Jared, Our precious Angel"



Go with your heart on what to place as a marker for your baby. When you are ready you will make a decision. In the children's section of our cemetery there are still graves with no markers, to me all that means is that the mums and dads are not ready to make that decision yet. Don't force yourself to do something you are not ready for honey xoxox

Ranea - posted on 05/14/2009

Etta, we just lost our daughter two weeks ago to stillbirth. I was 38 weeks along. And the feeling about it having to all be perfect is completely normal. My husband and I were discussing we only get this one chance to do this so we had to do it right. we have not yet chosen her headstone either. We also burried her in his parents plot. We wanted her with family, not jus with all the other random babies. She was a real person to us and we wanted her close and not alone.

Rebecca - posted on 05/13/2009

My daughter Alyssa would have been 20 months old now. The headstone we chose I thought was appropriate. Some people will question you about what you should do, but you have to do what's best for yourself and your healing and for the healing of your family. I, too, thought that it had to be perfect and felt very guilty that a stone wasn't out there right away. I was very particular about the cemetary... I wouldn't let anyone else do any of the upkeep... I can't care for her any other way physically so I care for her spot. But her headstone is moderately sized with a precious moments angel on it, saying Daddy's Little Girl, Mommy's Little Angel with her name and date, and then the back has etching "A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam, and for a brief moment it's glory and beauty belong to our world, But then it flies on again, and though we wish it would have stayed, we feel so very lucky to have seen it..." Design your own, that's what I did... Do what makes you feel better. You are going to be the one that it's there for... Hope that it helps you heal. I will warn you though-- no matter how long it's been since your sweet one's passing, it will hurt just as much as the day you laid her to rest when you see the stone completed and set... It's bitter sweet I guess... My daughter's stone is so beautiful, but I hate it because I feel that it never should have had to be made... It brings everything back, every emotion... and the roller coaster begins again. I hope for your sake that you have a strong family to support you. Some of us aren't so lucky. God bless you, honey.

Shana - posted on 05/13/2009

I never could fiqure out what to put on my daughters headstone. My husband just put her name and the dates. I was lucky that my husband handled all of the details. I don't regret any of his discisions. I was pretty overwelmed at the time.